


Harry Potter and his promise to make things right

by Sirry_x



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, F/M, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Powerful Harry, Slash, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:52:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 132,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8156350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirry_x/pseuds/Sirry_x
Summary: Harry Potter wants to turn back time, meet his parents, his godfather and remus and then Kick Voldys ass before he gets the chance to kill his parents and make him the boy who lived.  Together with Ron and Hermione they begin the search for horcruxes once again, Harry not expecting to fall in love in that time. Are they able to change the future for the better, and will they return to their time or stay there where they are loved.





	1. Harry's decided

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter, every character belongs to J.K.Rowling, who is an amazing writer and i cant thank her enough for creating Harry Potter.

Harry is not a normal teenage boy, no Harry is the-boy-who-lived and he despises it. Yes he hated that he was Famous, but who could blame him? He became famous because he survived a killing curse, because his parents sacrificed themself for him, and he was reminded by it everytime he looks in the mirror and sees his scar. Harry would rather be normal and have parents than be the the saviour of the wizarding world, but Harry found out a long time ago that he wasn't normal, not even for a wizard.

Now that he killed the-dark-lord-who-didn't-want-to-die, he expected everything to be normal, but no he became even more famous because of it. Most wizards loved Harry, they didnt know him but they loved the idea of him. But then there were Voldys followers who didn't die or were not locked up in Azkaban who wanted revenge, Harry wasn't afraid though, and most death eaters were to scarred to act on their words anyway. Harry did just kill their Master and lets be honest if Voldy the most powerful dark lord didn't stood a chance against Harry then the death eaters had a reason to be scared.

The weight on his shoulders didn't get lifted after voldemorts death, on the contrary it seemed to just get heavier. Responsibilty was exchanged with guilt and grief. How many people couldn't he save? How many died to protect him? If only he was stronger, if only he had learned occlumency. Remus... Sirius. Harrys heart ached just thinking about them and he wished more than anything to change time. To save his family. He had so little, he never knew what it was like to have parents to feel loved and now with remus and sirius gone he would never know what it would have been like to have a father. 

Of course there were Hermione and Ron, whom he saw as his brother and sister in anything but blood. Hermione, who often complains about how Harry handles his problems and situations but Harry knew Hermione would always stay beside him no matter how crazy the situation was they were in, she would try and find out a solution to their problems, merlin knows Hermione was the brain of the trio. Then there was Ron, Harry had to admit that the jealousy outburst and slight anger issues of Ron were quite annoying but he knew he could count on Ron in the end. Ron who had always crazier solutions to problems than Harry, Ron who could always crack a joke to lighten the mood, Ron who had the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Yes Harry easily admitted without Ron or Hermione he wouldn't be complete. They were the Golden Trio after all. He might have defeated Voldy in the end but without Hermione and Ron he would have died a long time ago, probably First year. Maybe the devil snare would have strangled him to death or the chess pieces would have killed him, everyone knew he sucked at chess. Not to mention snapes riddle. He might have burnt to death if it wasn't for Hermione.

Harry was very grateful to have Ron and Hermione as his best friend, but Harry longed for his parents. He wanted to be hugged by his mother, wanted to be told by his father that he was proud of Harry. Merlins socks, Harry would be happy if his parents grounded him, for the pranks he pulled. He would accept everything he gets but he wanted to see them, hear them and be able to hug them. It wasn't too much to ask, Harry thought, after everything he has been through after everything he lost, he damn well deserved some happiness. This particuliar thought brought Harry to his Current situation, right now Harry was standing in Albus Dumbledores old Office searching for the time turner he knew he saw once, when he destroyed Dumbledores office in fifth year.

"Alohomora" he says and the drawer springs open, inside lays the object of his desire and hope twinkles in his eyes as Harry grabs it and puts the necklace over his head. 'Bring me to my parents' he thought and proceeds to turn the time turner outer circle for years, 20 times. Now everyone could have told Harry it wouldn't work. A Time turner can only go back 5 years, but even then Harry wouldn't listen. Harry Potter isn't Stupid, even if some people say otherwise _cough_  Snape _cough_ , so Harry wasn't surprised when nothing happened, he didn't think it would. Still he had to try, he would find a way and if it takes him years to accomplish, there had to be a way. So lost in his thoughts he didn't hear when the door opened and two figures approached him from behind.

"Did you really think you could leave without us?" Rons voice echoed through the room sounding hurt, Harry winced and shoot Ron an apologetic smile who in return only rolled his eyes.

"Do not encourage him Ronald!" Hermione scolded him, as Ron slips the necklace over his head. "Harry explain yourself, why do you have a time turner?" She continued while also slipping the necklace over her head and looking at him expectantly. He sighed. Even if they didnt know what they got themselves into, even without a plan, those two were always by his side. Ready to face the danger. Ready for another adventure.

"It doesn't matter" he mumbled "It really doesn't, it doesn't work, i will never be able to see my mom or my dad or the mauraders minus rat" he continued spitting the word rat venomly, after she sent him an disbelieving look which immediatly turned into pity

"Oh Harry" she whispered "I know you miss them"

"Can't miss something you never knew" he mumbled into his grey sweater but either Hermione didn't hear it or she wisely ignored his comment.

"Harry i know it's hard, but we cannot mess with time, you might change the future, Harry you could change something important, voldemort might win or worse things could happen"

"I take the risk! Besides i want to change the future, i dont want my parents to be killed. Don't i deserve happiness? Don't i deserve to get to know my parents? Doesn't Teddy deserve to live happy with his parents? If i can stop voldemort before all this, wouldn't the future change for the better?" He almost screamed but his eyes were fixed on the floor not being able to see the pity on either of his friends faces. He hated it when people felt sorry for him.

Feeling his anger rise inside of him he grabbed his wand without thinking and pointed it on the time turner

"It's useless anyhow, it won't take me back to the day i was born!" He exclaimed and then Harry cursed the time turner, feeling the need to release his anger "Sectumsempra" he yelled. Now there were three things wrong with this, and Harry would later gladly admit that he was being stupid and acted once again without thinking. First, he knew how dangerous the sectumsempra curse was and cursing it so close to his friends was dangerously stupid. Second, he had no idea what effect it would have, cursing a magical object was just plain stupid and last he swore after the Draco incident to never again use the curse, he had no idea why he used that curse it just came to his mind and he immediatly regretted it after it left his mouth.

Harry saw the Time turner being cut into tiny pieces and then something cut through his skin on his left cheek, his chest and his arms. And immediatly everything went black, he hoped that only he got hurt and not his friends 'stupid' he scolded himself and then he drifted into nothing.


	2. The worry in round amber eyes

"J-James?" The whisper made the silence that followed appear heavy and loud.

The whisper pulled Harry out of his sleep, ever since the Horcrux hunt he had been a light sleeper, but the pain and worry in the voice made him open his eyes. Emerald green eyes went wide at the sight in front of him. Staring down at him were a pair of worried amber brown eyes which belong to his former Professor, Remus Lupin. He had fresh cuts on his face and arms, it must have been the full moon last night Harry thought but this Remus was way too different to be Harrys' Remus. This Remus was fit even though the werewolf clearly had worn him out last night he looked better than his Remus had. He wasn’t so skinny and he wasn’t as pale as the moon. His amber eyes and sandy blonde hair still shone bright. Being with the marauders was clearly good for Remus. This Remus was young. This Remus was still breathing.

Harry's breath hitched. They went back in time, his body ached but Harry was too happy to acknowledge the pain. Harry looked around he found himself at a place he easily recognized as Hogwarts Hospital wing. To his left side was Hermione who stared at Remus with wide eyes and to his right was a still sleeping Ron. Harry glanced at Remus who seemed relieved.

"Sorry, wrong person" Harry gave Remus a small smile. The werewolf looked so worried and young, Harry couldn't help but smile. 'and alive' a part of his brain stated. He would finally see them all. He could warn them about everything. But before he could even say something Hermione was next to him and gave him a dark look. "What happened to you?" Remus gulped not even acknowledging Hermione’s presence. Remus amber eyes stayed fixated on Harry and all his cuts and bruises making Harry feel self-conscious as he fought to keep the blush off his face.

"Nothing" he tried to sound assuring. "I tried out a spell and it kinda backfired" again Harry witnessed Remus face changing from worried to relieved. Ah, so Remus had worried he might have caused the cuts Harry mused.

"That must have been one hell of a spell, i am Remus Lupin by the way" he said and forwarded his hand towards Harry. Harry winced as he tried to move his arm, but only pain greeted him in response, his cuts were almost healed but his muscle were sore and it felt like being ripped up all over, moving wasn’t such a good idea right now. Remus immediately turned his arm down and smiled gently at the boy "Thats okay don’t move"

"Hermione Granger and this is Harry Granger, my brother" Hermione said. Harry frowned at her but kept his mouth shut and only smiled at Remus, who just now realized the other two people in the room he stared at Hermione before giving her a small shy smile when Remus looked over to Ron, Hermione seemed to panic a little and then suddenly said "thats Ronil Wazlib. He is with us". Harry was really good at having a poker face, when you live with the Dursleys you just had to have a pokerface 24/7, but he couldn’t help but snort at the name Hermione chose for their friend.

"I should let you rest" Remus then replied feeling a little bit awkward, still as a marauder he had a duty to report every mystery to his friends, this years mission finding out the secrets of three students who he had never seen before, Sirius will be delighted Remus thought as he excused himself from his current company. "It was nice meeting you. I am sure we will meet again" and then he hurried out of the room.

"What was that Hermione?" Harry asked her confused

"Harry we can't  tell them who we really are" Harry pouted at that, but as he opened his mouth to argue with Hermione she cut him off "Harry think about it, how would you react if suddenly someone came to you and told you they were from the future, in which you already died ? More importantly, time turners don’t exist yet. And if they do they can only turn a few days."

"Hermione, I want to save them and you wont be able to stop me from doing so" Why couldn't she see that they could have a better future if they defeated Voldemort here.

"We will save your parents. Not as Harry Potter, but as Harry Granger. Harry, what would your parents think if you claim to be their son? You said they came together in their seventh year so for all we know they aren’t together yet. What would Sirius say if you tell him that his friend betrayed them all and caused the death of his best friend and his own imprisonment of twelve years in Azkaban."

Harry was silent for a while, absorbing the information Hermione gave him. He would freak out if a boy showed up and claimed to be his son from the future, he would think it was a joke or prank. Harry still remembered the pain in Sirius grey eyes every time wormtail was mentioned so if in the process they could stop the rat, peter Harry reminded himself, if they could stop Peter from turning to the bad side he would never have to see the pain of the known betrayal in Sirius eyes ,maybe being Harry Granger wasn’t a bad idea after all. He could still get to know his parents and defeat Voldemort. Harry gave her a confident smile

"I wouldn’t dare to defy you, now would i sister?" She only hit his arm in response but he could see her lips twitch upwards.

"Get some more sleep. The cuts are already almost healed. Please don’t ever scare us like that again." Harrys only response was a nod and he closed his eyes and was glad to be embraced in his dreams once more. For the first time in what seemed eternity he felt the burden on his shoulder slip off and he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

The next time his eyes opened he was meet with the sight of his former Professor "This is becoming a habit" he mumbled to no one particular

"I see you are awake, i hope you are feeling better?" Professor Mcgonagall asked

Harry nodded but didn’t say anything Mcgonagall hasn’t changed much, her facial expression was still stern and her hair style was still the same but in this time her hair color was less grey and more brown, but the most obvious change was her eyes. Harry had never seen them so full of live, Professor Mcgonagall looked alive and happy. She hasn’t seen so much death and terror yet, and Harry wanted it to stay that way.

"I will go and let the headmaster know you are all awake, he would like to ask you a few questions, i am sure thats all right with you?"

"Of course professor" Hermione said, never wanting to disobey a authority figure.

Harry nodded once again and as Ron gave her an "all right" , Harry watched his former head of house vanish through the doors and smirked at Ron "So Ronil Wazlib why didn’t you tell me you're not a real Weasley?"

Ron swatted his head and grumbled "sod off, i still don’t get why i couldn’t be a Granger too?" He said more to Hermione than Harry who roller his eyes.

"Ron" Hermione started trying to make him see reason.

"Ronil" Harry corrected her and was send an deathly glare from his male friend, which would have been impressive if Harry hadn't seen that glare for seven years Harry just smiled innocently at him.

"You are a born wizard, you are a pureblood. We are muggleborns" she continued as if Harry hadn't just interrupted her.

"So what?"

"Oh for merlins sake Ron! Use your brain, how could you be our 'brother' and not know any muggle things? You don't even know how to use a phone."

Ron pouted but had to admit he couldn’t deny the fact that he didn’t know muggle things. He knew about a car but normal cars didn’t fly or turned invisible. The phone was a weird experience. He could hear but couldn’t see the one, it was very different from a fire call.

"Besides Ronil" another glare from his friend "If you are Hermione’s brother you couldn’t snog her anymore" a small choking sound was heard from Hermione followed by *slap* and Harry’s laughter. Ron though couldn't stop grinning. "Ouch Hermione, no need to turn to violence" Harry laughed as he gently patted his arm "Can't tell me you didn't thought about that when you picked Ron’s new identity"

The door opened and Harry was met with his former mentor, someone he saw being murdered and Harry found his laughter stuck in his throat. It would be harder than he thought meeting the people he once knew dead.

"Good Afternoon" Dumbledores voice echoed through the hall silencing everything and everyone. His twinkling eyes didn’t annoy Harry at all the opposite Harry was glad to see his former mentors eyes twinkle.

"Hello Professor" Hermione greeted him back. Albus Dumbledore looked almost identical just less wrinkles around his eyes and forehead.

Dumbledore conjured a chair and seated himself between Harrys and Hermione’s bed. "I Hope you are feeling better?" He asked Harry who gave him a nod, not trusting his voice enough. "Very good, very good my boy"

Harry couldn’t help but stare wide eyes at him, he still felt as if this was a dream, maybe the cutting curse did kill him and he is now at his personal heaven but the pain he felt brought him back to reality and his mission, and with that the burden on his shoulder was back.

 


	3. Sirius great day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to try and write this chapter in Sirius POV, next chapter will be in Harry's POV again. I might have some coming chapters in Sirius POV since it was so much fun writing it.

Sirius Black was having a great day, last night was the first full Moon since they returned to Hogwarts. He had missed running around the dark forest with a rat, a stag and a werewolf as his company. Yep last night was so much fun that his tired and aching body didn’t even bother him, when he usually would be grumpy after a full moon, he was in a very good mood today.

  
He hadn’t seen his friends all summer while he usually was at the Potters, Sirius decided to buy his own apartment and it took him all summer to make it live-able. Well the apartment and his new bought Motorcycle, both demanded his full attention during the summer, thus he never visited his friends and rarely wrote them. He explained and apologised for that on the train ride to Hogwarts. He couldn’t wait to show his greatest possession to his friends. Ever since he saw a motorcycle he wanted one and he finally bought himself one this summer, a black 1959 Triumph 650T 120 Bonneville, and there was nothing he loved more than his _baby._ He spent all summer modifying it, and it can fly and turn invisible which makes him feel really proud, he couldn’t wait to see the faces of his friends once he showed them, having not mentioned the special features of his motorcycle yet. Yes Sirius loved his baby. He actually has a picture of it which hangs above his bed so he sees her, his motorcycle was obviously a babe, before he sleeps.

  
Right now Sirius was about to have his last class of the day, History with Professor Binns a great class for a long overdue nap he yawned running around the forest all night might be great fun until the next morning. “Prongs i bet you 1 Galleon i can stay awake longer than you“ Sirius whispered to James Potter, his honorary Brother.  
James snorted “Aren’t you usually asleep before the lecture even begins Pads?“ He mocked his friend but shook the offered hand regardless, dares and bets were after-all James weakness along with a beautiful lady that had stolen his heart since third year. " Lils, who do you think is gonna stay awake longer me or the mutt over there?“ He asked his greatest weakness, a Goddess with red hair and green eyes as James likes to describe her.

  
"Potter, if i would care which i don’t i would say 'probably me’“ she smiled smugly at him and turned around to face Professor Binns who just entered the room through the walls. One would think having a ghost as the lecturer would be exciting, scary or just awesome when in reality it was the most boring class where students could actually die of boredom.

  
"Hello Class“ Professor Binns voice echoes through the room and Sirius could see people already positioning their heads on top of their arms ready for a 90 minutes nap. "Today we will learn about the Goblin war“

  
"Oh deer, again? How many wars do they have?!“ Sirius asked loudly but was ignored completely by fellow students and his Professor who already started to gave all the facts. Sirius tried to listen to a few facts but his eyes became heavier with the second, how anyone could stay awake during Binns lecture was a mystery to him, to this day the only two students who have successfully stayed awake during his lecture where Remus Lupin and Lily Evans and himself if James wouldn’t fall asleep soon, there is no way Sirius Black would lose a bet! Everyone who knew him would tell you ‘Never bet with the marauders especially not black, he is very competitive and doesn’t like losing’. It wasn’t even that he is a bad loser, he just never loses. Period. Baring that in mind he hid his wand from plain view and pointed it at a random Slytherin, shame that snivellus was sick today he mused. The victim on the other end of the wand started giggling and laughing out loud. Everyone turned around to stare at the laughing Slytherin who was covering his belly with one hand and his mouth with the other looking mortified. James looked over at sirius who faked innocence. James though knew this face, that was the face Sirius always gave professor Mcgonagall after she caught them, he could clearly see the mischief in his friends eyes not to mention his wand that he hid in the sleeve of his robe. Chuckling James decided to enjoy the show.

  
The Slytherin boy finally stopped laughing, stood up while pointing his wand at the Gryffindors “Who by Merlins sodding knickers casted the spell on me“ he demanded. Another spell hit him this time cleaning his mouth with soap out of the corner of his eye he saw James and Sirius giving each other a high five, glaring at the two he spit out the soap in his mouth shouting at the two for revenge. Lily looked at James with an disappointing look and James immediately reassured lily that it really wasn’t him this time.

Sirius smiled at the Slytherin boy whose name was McAllen he just remembered “bring it on sugar“ he threw McAllen a kiss and chuckled at the dark murderous look he got as reply.

  
"Silence!“ Professor Binns yelled and everyone turned back into their sleeping position, with a sigh Binns continued his lecture.

  
After a while Sirius could feel his eyelids slowly drop down, forcing it open and a glance at James told him the boy would be asleep soon, quietly he took out an parchment and quill and began scribbling down notes for upcoming pranks. This being their last year they needed to make something big. A light snore came from his right and Sirius smiled he won, he loved Fridays, scratch that he just loved today. "Ha! I won“ he yelled into James ear who jumped up immediately and pouted and grumbled unintelligent words while taken a galleon from his pocket and handing it over to his friend. Sirius just grinned, a glance at the clock showed he still had an hour, he was really proud he lasted 30 minutes awake, and decided to spend the rest of the class napping as a reward.

  
In the great hall already sitting at the Gryffindor table was non other than Remus Lupin, his fresh scars from last night slight red, people had stopped asking about his scars when Sirius and James started hexing everyone who dared to mention ‚scar’ in Remus presence or just looked at Remus longer than they should. Maybe, Sirius thought, they were to overprotective of their friend but they had sworn to protect him and his secret. Werewolves weren’t popular around wizards especially purebloods, if anyone found out Remus could be expelled or worse. Sirius shuddered at the thought and forced his mind back to reality.

  
"Wheres Wormy?“ Remus asked the two.

  
“Sleeping in the dorm, he took half the day off, how come you didn’t see him in the dorm Moons?“ James explained. Remus nodded he knew how tiring it was to run the whole night trying to keep up with a werewolf.

  
“I went to the library after leaving the hospital wing. Speaking of Hospital wing i met three people i have never seen before“ Remus then told them. Sirius glanced up with sparkling eyes. One thing he loved more than his baby was probably adventures and mysteries.

  
"Lets discuss that later in our room i’m starving right now.“ James said and Sirius scowled at that for a moment until his belly demonstrated how hungry he himself was. And as if his growling stomach reached the house elves ears, food appeared on the table. Sirius began shoveling food into his mouth and much to his friends dismay he managed to still look cool doing so. Growing up as a black did that to you, after-all image was everything to a pureblood.

  
The three headed back up to the Gryffindor tower holding dinner for Peter Pettigrew who was still in the dorm.

  
“Wormtail, wake up” Sirius yelled as he entered their room. Peter glared at Sirius for a second before smelling food and gave them a thankful look while lunging for his chicken. “Slow down” Sirius laughed his famous bark like laugh. “So, Moony! Three new students?” Sirius could barely conceal his excitement.

  
Remus began telling the three of finding the boy mistaken him for James he tried to explain him with as much detail as possible knowing his friends loved to play sherlock Holmes. “He looked like James, just a bit more feminine and higher cheekbones, oh and green eyes."

  
“Also with that mop James calls hair?” Peter asked innocently  
Remus nodded and sniggered at James offended look “Just a shade or two darker”

  
“Maybe he is a cousin?” Sirius asked but James shook his head, he didn’t have any cousins but he made a mental note to ask his parents.

  
“I doubt that, they were muggleborns”

  
“How do you know that?” Peter frowned he was happy at the idea of meeting James cousin.

  
“Well their name was Granger and Wazlib. I have never heard of a pureblood family with that name, so they must be halfbloods or muggleborns” Remus explained and Peter nodded in agreement at that, it made sense.

  
“What do you think happened to him?” Sirius asked,

  
“A spell that backfired, at least that’s what he told me. I thought.. For a second .. I thought I had attacked you” Remus choked the last words out in a whisper looking apologetic at James.

  
“Moony, I am fine. Besides we would never let you harm anyone and I doubt Moony would attack Prongs, we are pack after all” He said with so much confidence that Remus couldn’t help but smile and believe his best mates every word. “What spell did he cast that could cut someone? Must be dark magic” James then said, not sure if he liked that someone who looked like him was into dark magic. Groaning he thought about every spell he knew.

  
Sirius thoughts wandered to three people who suddenly appeared and he wanted to grab James invisible cloth and see those three people for himself, but when he told the others they refused to join his plan. Remus having already seen them, James being too tired and Peter following James word like always. Pouting he crossed his arms and stared everywhere but his friends. He then went sulking to bed the only thought comforting him was that if Dumbledore didn’t introduce them tomorrow he would go to the Hospital wing and see them with or without his friends. He gave Dumbledore time until breakfast. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, earlier than usually but he was still sore from dancing with the wolf the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter the Marauders will meet the Golden Trio.


	4. Meeting the parents

Harry couldn’t help but stare at the young Professor Dumbledore, young wasn’t quite the right word, this Dumbledores hair and beard was still grey after all but it had a bit of brown to it. The aura that surrounded Dumbledore was still the same just as powerful as he remembered. There was something about him that made Harry forget all his problems because he knew Albus Dumbledore was here, nothing could harm him. The slightly younger version of his old mentor cleared his throat and immediately Rons and Hermiones head snapped up and looked questionably at him.

  
“It was quite a shock when you three appeared in my office out of nowhere, especially you my boy, surrounded by magic I haven’t witnessed before” Dumbledores soft voice called out

  
“Well you see professor” Harry began “This conversation might not be suited for anyone else to hear” He glanced around to make sure no one was here.

  
“Don’t worry the room is warded and silenced” Harry nodded in understanding

  
“My name is Harry James Potter” He said slowly and Dumbledores eyes twinkled with joy “This is Hermione Granger” He pointed at Hermione who smiled at her old headmaster “ And this is Ron Weasley” He continued with a hand gesturing in Rons direction who just sat there waving at the old man.

  
“How many years?” Dumbledore asked curiously,

  
“ We believe about 20 years” Hermione said “It was by accident Professor, and we need to find a way back, do you know any spells or anything that might help us?” She pleaded but Dumbledore shook his head

  
“My dear, a time turner can only go back in time for a day. I have never heard that one can go in the future, but be assured that I will do everything in my powers to find a way. Now you three must be careful not to reveal anything from the future. Time is a dangerous thing and you must be careful not to change the future. “ The three nodded and assured Dumbledore that they would indeed be careful. Harry made sure not to look in his eyes and cleared his head. He didn’t trust this Professor Dumbledore not to look inside his head.

  
“Professor?” Harry started to ask but was interrupted by Ron  
“Professor? Would it be okay if we were to stay here for the meantime? Its not like we have anywhere else to go” Ron said to a chuckling Professor.

  
“But of course, we should resort you hmm? What year were you in?” The trio replied with 7th year Gryffindor but Dumbledore was fixed on having them put on the sorting head. “You would be in your fathers year then mr. Potter, you should probably change your name and appearance?” He mused and glanced to Ron “so should you mr. Weasley, the Weasleys are well known purebloods”

  
“I don’t think a change of appearance is possible professor, but we did change our names, Harry Granger and Ronil wazlib” Harry stated

  
“Oh? And why is that mr. Potter? Or should I say mr. Granger?”

  
“Remus Lupin already saw us and talked to us” Hermione reasoned. Dumbledore nodded and looked thoughtful for a second.

  
“ Ah I see.” He responded “ I don’t believe you have uniforms or books?” He mused as they shook their heads he continued “I thought so, there will be a trunk full of the things you need, in your dormitories tomorrow after the sorting” Harry paled slightly, surely professor Dumbledore didn’t intend for them to have a sorting in front of the school? Like some first years? He was about to question it when Dumbledore spoke again. “I will leave you to rest now before madame Pomfrei comes and gives me another lecture about disturbing her patients. I will come and get you tomorrow.”

  
“Professor!” Harry called out and Dumbledore turned to him “what did you mean with magic surrounded us that you have never witnessed before?” Hermione had her ‘absorbing every information’ look on as she stared and waited for Dumbledores answer.

  
“I have a theory, but that’s all that is to it right now, just a theory, I believe our young mr. Potter is still surrounded by that magic mrs granger and mr Weasley only faintly so” With that he stood and left the stunned trio to their thoughts. Hermione thought about how they landed here? How will they turn back? What if they were stuck here? Could the strange magic be from the time turner? It had to be.

  
Rons mind twirled around the fact that they still needed to go to classes. Thats not what he had in mind when he had asked professor Dumbledore for a room here.

  
And Harry was too frightened to think where the hat was gonna place him this year. In front of his father who hated Slytherin. What if he was put into Slytherin. Besides what was the strange magic surrounding him? He just wanted to be normal once, but apparently that was too much to ask, he just hopes his parents wouldn’t think of him as a freak and disappointment. He was also not happy that Dumbledore refused to tell them his stupid theories, Harry hadnt forgotten nor forgiven what happened the last time Dumbledore refused to tell Harry the truth, Sirius had died, he sighed loudly it wasnt good to think about that, drawing the attention of the others to him.

  
“Harry? Mate, it will be okay I know school sucks and all but we aren’t that far behind right?” Ron assured his friend who gave him a small smile until he heard Hermione scream. “Hermione. Whats wrong?” He sounded surprises and worried at the same time.

  
“I need to go to the library, how far behind to you think we are? We don’t even know what date it is today.” She ranted and Ron had to give her a small peck on her lips to be quiet. Ever since they defeated the Horcrux, they have been together, Harry could see that they were made for each other. They balanced each other Hermione finally relaxed a tiny bit from her overstudying and well Ron finally started studying. They needed and completed each other and Harry was happy for his two best friends, but still uncomfortable with their snogging sessions, Hermione was like his sister after all and no one wants to see their sister snogging.

  
“Hermione shh. No need to worry about that, we don’t even know for how long we will be here”Ron said giving a blushing Hermione another kiss. Neither of them noticed Harry tensed up, Ron was right. For all they know tomorrow they could be back in their own time and they didn’t change anything. “Besides that you are the smartest witch of our generation, and you are gonna kick the smartest witch of this generations ass” He finished proudly. And Hermione blushed furiously, at this point her face competed with rons hair, under the praise, she mumbled a quick thank you. With that all of their previous thoughts didn’t matter.  
Hermione now thought about what to study and to go to the library as quick as possible.

  
Rons thought were all about how lucky he was that hermione was his girl. He still didn’t know what hermione saw in him but he wasn’t one to question that.

  
Harry though panicked they needed a plan to destroy Voldemort. They needed to horcrux hunt, again. School wasn’t important right now. They needed to hunt down horcruxes and figure out where voldy was hiding and kick his ass. Dinner appeared on the table next to their beds and the trio ate silently all occupied with their own thoughts.

  
As promised, Dumbledore came and picked them up the next morning. They all got black robes and Harry was nervously trying to get his hair to stay down determined to make a good first expression to his father and mother and Sirius, shame that Remus had to see him in yesterdays state he grumbled. “No need mate, your hair is worse than a mop it would never stay down” Ron exclaimed while avoiding Harrys hit.

  
“You look fine Harry don’t worry they will absolutely love you” Hermione said and Ron nodded in agreement beside her they made their way to the great hall and paused. Harry was sweating now, this was nothing compared to his first sorting. He didn’t want to do this in front of his parents he sighed and cast another cleaning spell on himself. Calm yourself down Harry James Potter he told himself. You will go up there sit on that stupid chair put on that stupid hat and tell that hat where you want to be put. What if this time the hat wont listen? Positive thinking, I will be put into Gryffindor and my parents will like me.

  
“Good Morning students” Dumbledore said and the room immediately turned silent, it was so silent that Harry thought everyone could hear his loud breathing. “I am glad to tell you that we got 3 transfer students who will be sorted now” with a gesture to mcgonagall, she stood up and summoned an old chair and the sorting hat.

All eyes were on the golden trio now.

Harry gulped slightly and decided to look for familiar faces, he needed to see his parents from a save distance first. He looked over to the Gryffindor table and his eyes were met with soft hazel eyes. He immediately knew why people said he looked so much like his father. Harry was almost the exact copy of James except he had his mothers eyes. He needed to breath. That was his father staring at him curiously. Harry grabbed the first thing he could find which turned out to be Rons arm.

“Bloody Hell Harry” Ron grumbled and turned to look at his pale friend, Ron and hermione glanced in the direction Harry stared at and immediately found the cause. “Bloody Hell Harry” Ron said again this time softly and astound.

  
“Snap out of it Harry” Hermione whispered into his ears and he looked at her thankfully, his dad must think he was weird if he kept staring like that.

His gaze wandered to the person seated next to his father “Sirius” he whispered Ron gave Harry a squeeze and some of the tension left Harrys body. This is what he wanted. A second change, to fix things but most importantly to finally get to know his family. Sirius looked between Harry and James and if Harry hadn’t been so nervous he would have laughed at his godfathers confused face.

  
“Granger, Harry” Mcgonagals voice called out and snapped him out of any thoughts. With small but fast steps, eyes towards the ground he went to the front and sat down on the edge of the chair while Mcgonagall put the hat on his head, immediately he was greeted by a familiar voice.

  
‘Well hello, interesting, I see we had the pleasure to meet already’  
‘Yeah’ Harry thought ‘Can I please be in Gryffindor?’  
‘Are you sure? Perhaps this time you would like to give Slytherin a go’ The hat offered and Harry almost screamed no out loud. ‘You are very Brave but also very ambitious, Slytherin can and will help you channel your power. You can do very great things mr. Potter, you are a very powerful and very gifted Wizard, Slytherin would definitely help you come to your full powers and help you use it'  
‘I don’t want any power, or do great things, I just want my family and they would hate me if I were to be put into Slytherin, please anywhere but Slytherin’  
‘If you wish so I will put you into’ “Gryffindor” The hat yelled and Harry never felt so relieved.

The Gryffindor table clapped along with the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. The one who clapped and yelled the loudest was his godfather, Harry smiled and turned to leave to his table, to his Family.

  
Harry sat down at the end if the table and waited for his friends turn.

  
“Granger, Hermione” Hermione sat down and the hall went silent again all awaiting the call of the hat. Harry fiddled on his robes nervously did he took so long as well. His gaze went to Ron who stood tall and confident.

“Eva Nostel, muggle-born” a girl offered him his hand, he smiled at her and shook her hand

“ Harry P-Granger” Harry could smack himself for almost slipping.

“Nice to meet you Harry P Granger” She chuckled “What does the P stand for?” Great he mused it had to be a girl who actually listens, names with P?

  
“Percy, Harry Percy Granger” He said defeatedly. And after what seemed forever the hat called out “Gryffindor” Again the hall broke out in clapping and laughter. With a smile on her face she sat next to Harry,who had stood up and clapped feeling as if he really was in first year again, and hugged him

“The hat almost put me into Ravenclaw” She whispered he nodded and said “Almost Slytherin” He sighed and she gave his shoulders a squeeze

  
“Wazlib, Ronil” Mcgonagall said and the hat barely even touched Ron it already yelled Gryffindor. Ron sat on next to Hermione with a grin on his face and a growling stomach.

“Now can we please eat?” He moaned earning a few chuckles from those who heard him.

The people around him introduced themselves and before anything could be asked of the new students, Dumbledores voice echoed through the great hall. “I trust you all to show around the new students and to treat them with kindness and respect. No more words, Bon Appetite”

  
Dumbledores voice made the food appear on the plates and Ron digged in and unlike Sirius Black, Ron never managed to look cool while eating.

  
Harry ate a half toast with scrambled eggs, ever since the hunt and the war he had lost his appetite but after seeing and experiencing everything he did, no one would blame him.

  
After Ron had his second plate and was finally full. A girl with dark red hair came over. Her Red put any weasley to shame Harry thought. It was blood red in contrast against her pale skin.  Tender Green eyes greeted the trio softly. Before him stood his mother. The pictures he had of her didn’t catch the beauty of his mother. 

  
“Good morning” She said softly and Harry had never heard such a beautiful voice anywhere before.

Harry cursed himself mentally as he gave her a stuttered “He-hello. Good Morn-Morning” He could hit himself. The trio stood up to greet Lily properly. Harry had this big grin on his face that made ron and Hermione chuckle, both of them stood on either side of Harry, Ron had his hand around Harry shoulder and Hermione slightly touched his arm drawing small patterns on him to anyone they would just look close. But Harry knew they were giving him comfort, they were worried he would break down, it was his first time meeting his parents after all.

  
“I am Lily Evans, I am the headgirl and if you have any problems or questions feel free to come to me” She said and shook their hands, Harrys hand lingered over hers for a second longer than Rons and Hermiones. This was the first time he spoke and touched his mother, quite awkwardly, but still nothing could beat today. He spoke to soon because then another shadow appeared and before him stood the marauders.

  
“Flower, I thought we would do this together?” James said and got swatted on the head with another mumble that sounded like ‘i am not your bloody flower Potter’ “Hello there, James Potter” He extended his hand and Hermione and Ron shook his hand, as Harry reached for his hand James gave Harry a hard squeeze and a almost dark look. While Harry didn’t seem to notice it Hermione and Ron did and looked at each other questionably, Harry though was grinning from ear to ear.

 


	5. First day at Hogwarts

“Sirius Black” A young Sirius stepped forward, Harry looked his not-yet-godfather over. He looked good. He didnt look bad back then, or rather in the future, but he did look good now. Better. He had this rebel look, a mischief aura and he could understand why Sirius Black was a womanizer.

He had dark shoulder long hair, which was messy but not in the Potter messy way. This messy was what people actually wanted, it suited his overall look rather well. Sirius looked even in Hogwarts uniform like a rebel. His tie hang loose over his shirt, which had the first two botton loose. He didn’t wear a robe. He complimented his overall look with an long silver earring.

He looked at Sirius face and was drawn into those shining grey eyes not noticing Sirius hand which was still in front of Harry. All Harry wanted was to touch Sirius face. Travel his fingers along Sirius  high cheek bones, explore all his barely there freckles and move his finger along his full lips. Wait, where did that thought come from?

Harry shook his head as if to get rid of all his thoughts and finally took notice of Sirius hand and shook it, he noticed the smug grin on Sirius face and blushed. He hadn’t meant to openly stare at his godfather. Not yet godfather. Harry noticed Hermiones and Rons stare, but he ignored them. He didn’t know what just happened.  
Sirius introduced himself to ron and Hermione, then Peter came forward.

Harry flinched a little when Peter introduced himself and offered Harry his hand. Harry wanted to stay civil. He wanted to forget it all. It wasn’t easy. He never took in account how much it would hurt too stand before the reason he grew up without parents. The reason Sirius spend half his life in Azkaban and Remus lost all his friends. Yes it wouldn’t be easy to be nice to this boy, but, Harry reminded himself, he hasn’t done anything wrong yet.

He gave Peter a small smile and shook is hand rather quick and let go as if he had burned himself. As Peter shook Rons and Hermiones hand he noticed how small and shy Peter was. He looked nothing like the Peter he had met. That Peter had been scared, was a coward and a traitor. This one was shy, and seemed so far friendly, he had a rather kind smile Harry mused.

“Feeling better than Harry?” Remus lupin asked. Harry nodded smiling, still not trusting his voice, he looked up to see his father narrowing his eyes at Harry. Surely he just imagined it. “Good, would you like to see the castle? We don’t have classes on Saturday and Sunday. Later I can show you last weeks notes so you want have any problems on Monday” Hermione beamed at that, and Ron and Harry couldn’t help but groan a little.

Lily excused herself from the group and headed to the library. Harry and Hermione starred at Lily's retreating back. Hermione would love to go to the library, and Harry would have loved to spend more time with his mother. Harry felt eyes on him and when he looked up he saw James starring. Not in a friendly manner, but before he could make any of it James looked away.

“Lets go then” Sirius grabbed Harrys hand and walked out of the hall. “What would you like to see first Harry? Astronomy tower, outdoor or bedroom?” He said bedroom with a raspy whisper that left Harry shudder. Was sirius flirting with him? Impossible, Sirius wasn’t gay. As far as he knew.

“Outdoor sounds nice” Harry mumbled. Sirius laughed and they went outside still holding hands.  
“Well this is the lake, that’s the forbidden forest.” He said and moved Harry west, so he could see where the forest was and he saw a small hut which must belong to Hagrid "Its forbidden to students, as the name may suggest. And on the other side, is the quidditch field.” Sirius finished.

“Its beautiful” Hermione said. Harry admired her acting a bit and let go of Sirius hands when he saw his father looking at them. He frowned a bit when he saw his father acting a bit cold towards him. Surely he hadn’t mucked their relationship up already? Was it because of Sirius? He tried to remember every bit of conversation where he might have said or done anything but couldn’t find a thing.

Sirius pouted a bit at Harry before ushering the group to the lake he sat down at the tree Harry remembers from Snapes memory.  
He pulled Harry down to him. Harry laughed at Sirius, he was nothing like the Sirius he remembered. The trio and marauders soon talked about everything while taking in the beautiful view the lake and Hogwarts was giving them.

“Why did you transfer now? I mean it’s the last year” peter asked in a quiet whisper. Ron scoffed at him. He never got over the fact that he had slept with the animagus. If Harry had to guess, Ron was embarrassed. Ron had kissed and cuddled the rat. A grown up man. He had slept in a bed with him. That’s creepy and not something someone easily forgets.

“Our parents thought hogwarts would be safer” Remus nodded, Hogwarts was the safest place in the wizarding world after gringots and Azkaban  
“Where were you before that?” Peter asked shyly.  
“Beauxbaton,” Ron said shortly making it clear he didn’t like being questioned.  
They hadn’t agreed on homeschooling or another wizarding school. The problem was in beauxbaton they probably spoke French which they couldn’t. Harry looked up at Hermione and saw she thought the same way as her. Ron was an idiot.

“But your english is perfect” Peter said again. Harry tried to remember anything which was french but only came up with bonjour and bon appetit. Rather pathetic.  
“We were born and raised in england, they have spells in beauxbaton to help english students speak french, for us we speak and hear everything in english while people there hear it in french.”  
Peter smiled at the trio, he had never before met with someone from another school. Remus wanted to know more about the spell.  
“Do you know the spell?” Remus asked hermione and both of them got in an conversation about translating spells  
“How is “ but before Peter could finish James interrupted him.

“So how did you get those scars?” James cold voice asked in harsh manners, the way he looked at Harry reminded him of the way his father looked at Snape. Harry frowned he hadnt imagined it, his father really disliked him. Out of all scenarios Harry had imagined not one was of his father speaking to him in such a cold way.

“A spell backfired” Harry said slowly and in the same cold manner his father did. He might not know what he did wrong but why should harry kiss the ground James walks on. Lily was right James needs to deflate that head of his. How could someone dislike him after barely 5 minutes of meeting him.

“What kind of spell?” His father wasn’t finished.  
“Is this an interrogation?” Harry shot back. He didn’t like the way his not-yet-father questioned him as if he had done something wrong.  
“James” Remus said firmly and James went quiet.

“Do you guys play quidditch?” Sirius tried to ease the thick tension around them.  
Ron lit up immediately, “Keeper” He pointed at himself “Seeker” He pointed at Harry “Audience” He said in a boring way and pointed at Hermione, who swapped his head.  
“Not everyone has to play quidditch” She mumbled.

“Are you any good? We need a new seeker and chaser” Sirius said. “I am on the quidditch team myself. Beater. And James here is the quidditch captain and one of the chasers.” He said and looked at a bored looking James.

“Good? He is the best.” James looked up and checked Harry over. Harry sticked his tongue out at James. He knew it was childish but he couldn’t help it. His father acted like an arse.  
“Ron do kindly shut up” Harry then said after hearing Ron praise him some more, Harry felt all eyes on him and Ron and couldn’t help but blush.  
“Harry you were the youngest seeker! And in all six years only lost once! Once!" He almost screamed. And Harry groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“You should come to the try out” James whispered. He didn’t look at Harry and Harry had the feeling that James was much worse than wood if he let the boy he clearly dislikes enter his quidditch team just so they had a chance to win  
“Of course he will” Sirius said and clapped Harry on the back.

“How about you show us the library now?” Hermione asked sweetly after a moment of silence. “Dorm” Ron and Harry but yelled. They had no interest in actually studying here.

The Marauders showed the trio the kitchen, the library, where they left Remus and Hermione, and went up to their tower.  
They stood before a portrait of the fat lady and Ron and Harry acted confused.

“Erm guys?” Harry asked  
“You say the password and the portrait opens” Peter explained.  
“This weeks password is ‘pig snout’” Sirius said and the portrait opens, Ron and Harry went in and made sure to act as if it was the first time seeing it. To their big disappointment the common room looked much the same way it did in their time.  
The marauders went up to their dorm followed by Ron and Harry.

“This is the bedroom” Sirius whispered into Harrys right ear and Harry choked on nothing.  
It turns out that Harrys new bed was in the middle of Sirius and James bed. Much to his father dismay. Harry offered to change beds but they all declined. Rons bed was next to the window and besides Remus.  
An awkward silence occurred and Harry wanted nothing more but leave, he opened his trunk to fish out some parchment.  
“Ron lets head up to the library we need to catch up”  
“Cant we just play chess or something Harry?”  
“Come on Ronil” and Ron stood up and mumbled under his breath about fake friends and traitor, which Harry ignored.

Once they were out of earshot Sirius turned to his best friend  
“Prongs what was that?”  
“What was what?” James replied innocently,  
“What do you have against him? Don't deny it we all saw the way you looked at him”  
“He uses dark magic Padfoot” James stood and glared at his friend, if there was one thing James Potter hated than it was dark magic. It brought nothing but pain and sorrow.

“You don’t know that” Sirius encountered, the moment he saw those green eyes he felt immediately drawn to him, also he loved making the small boy blush, the light red suited his face rather well and brought his eyes even more into contrast. Sure Harry looked a lot like James from afar but once close Sirius saw all the differences. Harry had higher cheekbones and was smaller and thiner than James. James had the perfect chaser body broad shoulders and muscular. On a closer look only their hair, eyebrows and nose were identical.

“Sirius, mate he wouldn’t even tell us the spell”  
“Honestly Prongs I wouldn’t have told you either, you didn’t really ask nicely.”  
“And the way he looked at lily, its just like another Snape.” James said.  
“You are jealous?” Sirius gasped and barked a laugh.  
“James just tell him, Lily is yours”  
James threw himself on his bed. That was the problem, she just wasn’t his. Yet.

At the library the trio sat down with lily and remus and studied a few books, and did some assignments that were due the following week. Also Hermione had said they should do last week assignments and give it to the professors to show they werent behind. Harry didn’t know where he rather was or wasn’t. In a room with his father who seemed to hate him. Or in a room with his mother who didn’t even take a lunch break to study.  
Harry then took out another parchment the trio used for communication. It was a small piece of paper the trio always had with them. They used it on their horcrux hunt. If you write on it it, the writing appears on the other two parchments as well. It was similar to their coins for the DA but with this parchment everyone could write and receive the message.  
“ROR tonight after dinner” Was all he wrote.  
Ron and hermione checked their small piece of parchment and gave a small nod. They knew what Harry wanted to talk about.

They studied until Dinner.  
At Dinner Ron groaned, and couldn’t stop complaining, he swore it was the last time they studied with Hermione, Remus and Lily. Studying with Hermione was bad enough but Remus and Lily were just like her if not worse.

The marauders laughed at Ron and Harry. “Rule number one” Sirius said through laughter “Never! And I mean never follow Remus and Evans to the library”  
“I’ll make sure to remember that, same goes for you, Hermione is basically remus and lily combined” Harry said and began eating.  
  
After Dinner the trio bid goodbyes with the marauders and Lily saying they wanted to explore a bit. Lily reminded them that curfew was at ten and to not be late, she explained a bit about Filch and about house points. The trio promised to return to the common room before curfew and went to the room of requirements.

“He hates me” Harry said in a low whisper as they stepped inside.

 


	6. Daddy issues set aside

“He hates me”

Harrys pained whisper was followed by heavy silence and thick tension that covered the room of requirement which looked just like Sirius old room in Grimmauld place no. 12. Hermione and Ron sat down on the bed. Harry had his head covered in his hands to prevent his friends from seeing his threatening tears, he chose to sit at the white rug next to the bed. Why did his father hate him so much after barely a day. The glare of his father still burned on his skin and the cold voice had slapped him across the face. The cruciatus didn’t leave harry feeling this empty.

“He doesn’t hate you Harry” Hermione said desperately, of course she had noticed the cold behaviour of James towards his son, she couldn’t understand why, did James feel threatened?

“Okay” Harry said through pained chuckles that made hermione shiver “He just strongly dislikes me” Harry said

“You barely spoke to him, maybe you are wrong” Ron said hopefully, hermione didn’t think so, James didn’t look at the others the way he looked at Harry.

Hermione knew how nervous and excited Harry was, the boy barely slept last night playing conversations in his head he and his parents would have, hermione even heard Harry practice in front of the mirror, not that she would tell him that she heard. She understood his excitement, this was a dream come true for Harry. Only to be turned into another Nightmare because James was a total arse. She glanced at her friend, she had never seen him this broken. She promised to hex James the next time he said or looked at Harry the wrong way.

Harry didn’t bother responding to Ron, and Ron tried again. “At least Lily likes you”

“Yes” Harry said with false cheerfulness “at least one of my parents isn’t completely disgusted with me, maybe once she really gets to know me she will glare at me too” Ron and Hermione exchange looks, once Harry was in this self pitying mood almost nothing could snap him out of it.

There was a long silence, Ron and Hermione sat down next to Harry unsure of how to proceed and what to say. Harry sighed and lay down on the ground. His right arm covering his eyes. “Putting the daddy issues aside for a second” he said and wished for a blackboard  
“Right so, Horcruxes” he said and Hermione took the hint, she went to the Blackboard and wrote down all the Horcruxes they had destroyed in their time.  
-Ravenclaw Diadem (Hogwarts)  
-Slytherin Locket (Kreacher)  
-Hufflepuff Cup(Lestrange Vault)  
-Riddle Diary (Malfoy)  
-Ring (Gaunt’s house)  
-Snake (Voldemort)  
-Harry  
“Alright, so I believe I am not a Horcrux anymore?” He half asked half stated, he had no idea what time travel did to ones body after all.

“The Horcrux inside of you was destroyed when Voldemort casted the Killing curse on you” Hermione assured him. Harry nodded and stood up, he slowly walked over and crossed his name of the list.

“Nagini shouldnt be Horcrux yet, she was made by the killing of Bertha Jonkins right?” Ron said waited for the nod of Harry and crossed the Nagini of the list.

Looking at the remaining Horcruxes Harry formed a small plan, Harry was more of an act first think later kind of person, strategy wasn’t his strong suit. He usually just came up with a plan on the go. “First we destroy the diadem and in the winter holidays we hunt the rest, which gives us about two weeks?” He asked and nodded, “in those two weeks we should be able to destroy the Horcruxes, we already know how and where they are”

“The problem is how to get them Harry” Hermione pointed out. “Gringotts was a mess the last time” Ron winced remembering riding a dragon. Harry grinned remembering riding a dragon.  
“Then there is the diary, how are we supposed to get into the Malfoy manor?”

Harry sighed, “we think about something we still got 3 months. We prepare ourselves in the meantime”

“Sure Harry” hermione put her head in her hands, dealing with Harry was like dealing with a stubborn Hippogriff, too much Pride and never listening to anyone.  
“What about the weapon? How are we gonna destroy the Horcruxes? Last time we had the Gryffindor sword and basilisk venom” Hermione reasoned with him.

“That’s it!” Ron yelled making Harry and Hermione jump and starring at him confused. “Don’t you see?” Ron frowned. “We just have to steal the Gryffindor sword from the sorting hat and then kill the Basilisk again” he told them proudly.

“I almost died the last time” harry said in a whisper before shaking his head “we need to steal the phoenix too”

“Are you out of your mind? We could be expelled” Hermione panicked

“Shaggy, we don’t really go to school, even if we get graded here it wont be use for us in the future” Ron explained his hysterical girlfriend.

“That doesn’t mean you can do anything you like Ronald” she groaned

“That’s exactly what it means shaggy!” Harry exclaimed grinning. And with that it was decided. Hermione herself didn’t know why she even followed a dunderhead like Harry, but in a way Harry was their leader and she knew, she and Ron would follow Harry even to death. They had been through too much together, trusted each other blindly. If Harry told them to jump they wouldn’t hesitate for a second. She would do anything for them and they would do everything for her.

“Maybe we could finish our animagus training till then?” Hermione offered, being an animal could help with the basilisk and the Horcrux hunt after all. She and Ron already knew their form. She was a brown Squirrel, thus her nickname being shaggy, because of the bushy tail which she got stuck with for a night.

Ron was a red weasel, named ruddy, much to his dismay. He got stuck with a tail for a whole week. They feared it would be permanent, Ron had practiced his occlumency again, started training his mind and connecting to his animal side until it disappeared.

Harry on the other hand didn’t know what kind of animal he was.

Harry wrote next to the Horcrux list the plan  
-animagus  
-sword,bird,snake  
-destroy the souls of bastard.  
-kill bastard  
“We gotta accomplish those first two things before the winter break.”

Becoming an animagus wasn’t easy and took a lot of time, but only the first two stages really took energy, magic and time. First there was occlumency. The second and longest was, figuring out what one would become and then connecting with the animal, in second stage they would change into their animagus form inside their head, to complete second stage the animal had to accept the wizard. The third stage was the mandrake leaf, it would be uncomfortable but only for a month. After that the wizard tries to change into his animagus form with a wand outside his mind. After a while and with a lot of practice the wizard could do it without wand.

They have been training to become animagi since the end of sixth year, and then continued during their Horcrux hunt. Ron and Hermione had completed their second stage and decided to wait for Harry. Harry couldn’t relax and empty his mind resulting him being thrown out of his mind before getting a chance to see his animal.

“We are almost at the last step for becoming animagus, we only need to find out what you are Harry.” Harry sighed and groaned. He hated that he was behind and that the two of them had to wait for Harry “any clues?” Ron asked hopefully

“I am either a horse or a bird” harry told them “one day i am running through the forest another I am flying above it” he ran his hand through his hair “besides my horse is suicidal, always wanting to jump of the cliff” he mumbled and looked at the others expectantly

“You need to relax, if your animal wants to jump let him jump don’t try to control it, try to connect with it. Just relax and let your body take over the instincts of the animal” hermione told him

“Hermione if I get an injury in my mind I injure myself in real right?” At the nod he continued “if I die in there, I die in real too” another nod “my horse is suicidal, I’m telling you”

“You said you flew once right harry?” He nodded and looked at her expectantly. “Maybe you are a horse with wings?, like a Hippogriff?” She continued.

He shook his head “I am sure that I don’t have any feathers or fur or else, I saw my leg once it was just black, leathery and skeleton like. Beside its not possible to take the form of a magical creature hermione”

“Thestral then” Ron said and looked excited just at the idea, completely ignoring Harrys last statement.

Harry already thought about it but wizards don’t become magical creatures as their animagus form.  
“Look at padfoot” she pointed out “he is a Grimm”

“He is just a big black dog, shaggy” harry frowned

“Animagi is very advanced and rare magic, Harry” she went into professor mode and explained everything she knew about animagi, the risks and the steps and the magic “so he could very well be a Grimm” she finished

“Lets pretend you are right and he is a Grimm” Ron said “how come no one dies after seeing him?”

“Ruddy, how much do you know about Grimms?” She asked

“You die once you see one, shaggy. Everyone knows that”

“Exactly! You don’t know anything. There is even less about Grimms than there is about animagus. All I could find, was that Grimms are loyal and possessive creatures, also grimms tend to be very vicious and attack if they sense danger, feel threatened or to revenge/ protect their loves once, yes you are correct it is said that after seeing a Grimm people die but that is just a myth and wasn’t proofed yet. Most people died after a seeing a Grimm because said Grimm himself attacked and killed them.” Hermione explained

Harry sat down and went to meditation mode. He shut the voices of hermione and Ron out, really not interested in hearing them play their favourite game ‘I am right, you are wrong’.

He cleared his mind and put his shield up. Transformation from human to animal were painless in the mind but if done wrong can lead to fatal injuries.Harry felt growing taller, his hands became horse legs his face became longer, his skin became a midnight black shade, and then he started running through the forest. His horse legs speed up and soon he ran towards a cliff, relax just let it happen harry told himself. Then he jumped from the cliff and flew around laughing. He loved flying, doing it himself without broom was even better.

He felt himself being tucked down. He followed the tuck, he knew it would bring himself to his animal. Once down he felt his body change to his human form again and then he glanced behind himself, there he stood, a black skinny Thestral, with large black wings. Instead of white eyes he had slight green ones though, not as green as his human eyes but still not pure white. And his curse scar was on his forehead in visible white and in total contrast to his black skin.

Harry stepped forward his animal and reached his hand out to touch it. The thestral looked him up and down before staring at his offered hand. He took a step back before galloping towards harry. Harry winced from the pain as the thestral joined his body and their core became one. The impact had hurt and joining his and the thestrals magic sucked the energy out of him. Still he couldn’t stop smiling, he finally finished second stage.

He was thrown out of his head, he simply didn’t have any energy left to maintain the connection. After a few days or weeks he would get used to sharing his magic and then will be able to continue to stage three.  
His body was sore and his magic felt raw and overpowered. He winced slightly as he opened his eyes.

He was aware that he was in the room of requirement again, but he had no energy left inside of him, he quickly laid down. Hermione and Ron were by his side in an instance, both smiling at him. They knew he had finally got it.

Hermione asked the room for water and snacks and immediately a house elf appeared inside with three glasses of water and some sandwiches. Hermione was heard cursing the room. She helped Harry drink his water and eat some sandwiches.

“You were right” Harrys raspy voice declared “a thestral with a white lightning bolt on his forehead and slightly green eyes.  
“Bolt” Hermione and Ron both yelled, and harry smiled finally having his own nickname.

They decided to go for nicknames that could be applied to their human form as well to their animagus for, to prevent suspicion.  
Shaggy for Hermiones hair and her bushy tail.  
Ruddy for Rons red hair and fur.  
And bolt for his curse scar on his human and animagus form.  
They didn’t wanted it to be as obvious as the nicknames of the marauders.

“Shaggy, Ruddy and Bolt” Harry smiled. This was his family, his thoughts wandered to his family that were just a few steps away but he immediately shook all thoughts away. Snape was right, his father was not what he had expected or hoped for.

“Guess that leaves the mandrake leaf” Hermione said and Harry tuned in back to their conversation.

“We can get that from herbology, and if they don’t have it maybe they got some in the potions storage room” Harry told her.

  
Hermione mumbled into her hands “more stealing” and “expelled”  
Ron and Harry happily ignored her.

“Shaggy, can we stick the mandrake leaf to our mouth?” Harry asked and a smiling Hermione nodded. She had asked professor mcgonagall about that, only theoretically of course.

“We can, but we still aren’t allowed to talk that much, if we fail stage threw we gotta wait at least three months before able to start again” she told them “we will cast a temporary sticking charm, and at night we will need to stick our mouth close”

“Any risks or side effects?” Ron asked nervously, he didn’t want to end with a tail for a week again.

“Well first there would be the bad taste of the leaf itself. It will be uncomfortable” she stated

“Are we allowed to mix it?”

“Well we are allowed to eat, just gotta make sure not to bite the leaf, its poisonous if bitten and swallowed.”

Ron gasped and starred at Harry and Hermione “Are you bloody serious?”

“No one said becoming an animagus would be easy and risk free” Hermione countered

“I thought you like it dangerous Ruddy” Harry said laughing, he didn’t fear death, if he died he would be with his family and that alone would be worth it, but he wasn’t suicidal, if death could be prevented he would like to avoid it as long as possible thank you very much.

“Oh shove off Bolt”

“Like I said we can use a permanent sticking charm and stick it on the roof of our mouth, they held for about 1 day” hermione told them “whatever you do, don’t throw up.”

“What happens if we throw up?” Harry asked honestly curious

“The leaf would be destroyed from the stomach acid and all the hard work would be for nothing. Also its better to stick with liquid food”

“No chicken?” Ron screamed

“You can eat chicken soup Ronald” Hermione closed her eyes, sometimes she felt that her boyfriend would replace her for a piece of chicken.

  
“Lets start stage three next week then, you gotta rest first, get used to your new combined magic” Ron said, he knew Hermione was about to explode if he said something wrong, closing her eyes was always a good sign that she wanted to punch the soul out of someone. First it was Draco and then Ron, he gulped.

The trio agrees to steal the mandrake leaf in the following week and then start next week Saturday.

“What time is it?” Harry then asked, he really didn’t think he could stand it if his mother would hate him too because he lost house points on his first day.

“Almost ten. We should head back then”

SBJPRLPPSBJPRLPPSBJPRLPP

Sirius sat on his bed next to him was James, moaning about how pretty Lily was.

Remus Lupin sat on the ground starring at the ceiling while peter did his potions assignment on his bed.

“Whats up with you moony” Sirius asked, he could feel James shift next to him to look at their friend.

“Nothing”

“Wow you are a bad liar” Sirius gasped. Remus half glared at him before resuming his previous position and continues to stare at the ceiling.

James got up and went over to his friend

“The ceiling isn’t gonna change moons” He whispered into his ear.

James placed a hand on Remus shoulder and squeezed.

“Just tell us whats wrong, we are gonna figure it out anyway” He laughed, and it was true if the marauders were good at anything other than pulling pranks it would be discovering secrets and mysteries.

“I am just nervous” Remus groaned and pulled his knees to his chest and buried his head on top if it.  
“What if they discover my. . . What if they find out about . . .” He hated saying it. He hated what he was. But he hated the reaction of people even more once they heard about werewolves.

“They wont find out, we’ll make sure of it” Sirius said and sat down next to the anxious werewolf.

“Padfoot, they stay with us in a room, don’t you think they would notice if once a month on a full moon we all disappear?” His friend grumbled not even glancing up from his knees.

“The raven hair boy seems rather stupid if you ask me” said James

“You only say that because your jealous” Sirius sang and chuckled.

“I studied with them, the girl is the smartest of the three but the two boys are smart, lazy but smart much like you two” Remus said and couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape as he was swatted on his head by two hands.

“One of us could stay behind, so that not all are gone” Peter offered.

“Ravenclawish Wormtail” Sirius said “But they could still figure it out”

“What if we hex Remus once a month so he has to go to the hospital wing?”

“No ones gonna hex anyone!” Remus groaned. It was enough to be in pain from his curse. He didn’t need anything added to that.

“Just an idea” Peter whimpered and closed his book to join his friends on the ground.

“Well we are seventh years right. We could just say we stay away a night. In another house”

“What has that to do with seventh year wormy?” Sirius asked slightly confused

Peter shrugged and blushed. “Just an idea”

“Yeah we could combine them somehow.” James told them. “One of us could stay with the two till they are asleep and then join us, one will be hexed by ‘Slytherins’ and Remus stays the night in someone else’s bed” Here he waggled his eyebrows at Remus.

“Or” Remus said slowly “You don’t join me, and I’ll make up excuses like in first year”

“Absolutely not!”  
“We wont let you!”  
“Try to stop us from joining you!”

Remus lifted his head and smiled at his friends. He could never express how much he loved them.

“All right, we’ll figure something out then to not make Harry and Ronil suspicious” Remus said still smiling. Its been years and he really didn’t like the idea of his friends not being there with him when he transformed.

“Don’t you think its weird that he wouldn’t tell us the spell that did that to him?” Peter mused

“What are you trying to say” Sirius frowned, he had that conversation already with James.

“What if it wasn’t a spell” Remus head snapped up and his eyes were wide open in horror

“You think I did that?”

“No!” Peter yelled and hurriedly said “Whatifheisawerewolfhimself”

“Come again?” Remus said slowly, he had better hearing as a werewolf and had understood what peter had said, but that would be impossible. Right?.

“Maybe, he is a werewolf. The night before you saw him was a full moon right? And you said so yourself if a werewolf doesn’t get any prey they hurt themselves.”

“Is there any way to proof that?” Sirius asked he had never met a werewolf with shining green eyes, but then again he only has met one werewolf.

“Well I suppose if he has the energy to run around the castle today he probably isnt one right? I am pretty exhausted just from sitting in the library studying” Remus said and leaned against the His bed “And well the only way to really see if he is, would be on the next full moon.”

The others nodded and agreed to wait till next full moon.

Remus climbed into his bed, his body was still sore from transforming into a werewolf. He decided to make it a early night, he never closed his curtains fear of the dark probably. He hated night time after all.

Remus had barely closed his eyes when the door to their room opened and Harry and Ron entered.

Harry looked pale and Ron helped him to his bed. Sirius exchanged looks with James and then he couldn’t help but glance between Remus and Harry. Both pale, and exhausted. Both bodies marked with scars. He saw James gulping and he knew is friend was feeling guilty for his behaviour earlier today. Of course the backfired spell had been an excuse. A lame one. Sirius thought bitterly.

Sirius went to his bed, if the boy didn’t come to them before the next full moon than Sirius would have to make him. It would be better for Harry of course running around with another wolf and other animals than being all alone and trapped. Sirius told himself.

“What happened to him” Sirius barely heard the whisper and had to strain his ears a little to hear the reply

“What do you care” Ron practically growled

“I…” James began but was cut off by Ron

“Just leave him alone, he has enough problems! Besides what did he ever do to you! He doesn’t deserve the way you look or talk to him!” Rons angry whisper left Sirius shivering.

Ron went to his bed and James was left standing in the middle of the room. Sirius had just closed his eyes when his curtain was opened, and he was dragged out of bed.

 

 

 


	7. Too much

Harry awoke with a scream. Nightmares weren't new to Harry, since he can remember he got them, it just seemed the older he got the worse the dreams would be.

Tonight he saw Sirius fall through the veil, and seconds before he vanished he mouthed ‘it’s your fault’.Harry knew. He knew that Sirius was right. Not a day goes by where he doesn't regret not opening Sirius gift earlier. Not a day without Harry blaming himself for not learning occlumency. No, not one single day goes by where he doesn't miss Sirius.

A glance around the room showed his fathers and godfathers bed empty, and everyone else still asleep. It was after all only 4 in the morning. He hated to go back to sleep after a nightmare, too afraid of what he would see once he closed his eyes, because all his nightmares were basically his past. Every single dream really had happened just with minor changes.

Harry decided to take a cold shower to get rid of the sweat on his body. Slowly he climbed out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom as silent as possible. He knew Remus hearing was better and it was only two days after the Full moon. He had seen how pale and exhausted Remus had been yesterday and he really didn't want to wake him up at 4 am.

He turned down the door handle and blessed the door for not making any noise. Silently he went inside and almost screamed, inside on the cold bathroom floor were his father and godfather and a empty bottle fire whiskey. Hurriedly he went outside again, he really did not want to face James anytime soon.

Not wanting to sleep, he decided to go to the common room instead, which was unsurprisingly empty. Harry sat on the cherry red sofa and stared into the fire.

He really didn't want to face Voldemort again but he also didn't want anymore death. If he didn't kill Voldemort now, everyone who died, everyone who could have been saved, all those deaths would be his fault.

  
“Wake up mate” Ron urged while shaking Harry's shoulder.

“What time is it?” He yawned he had not realized that he had dosed off. He glanced around and was glad that it was still empty.

“Time for breakfast” Ron said and pulled Harry of the sofa.

“Morning, love” Sirius voice appeared next to him. As he entered the boys room.  
His breath still smelled like the Firewhiskey he drunk last night.

“Harry, be a deer and bring back a couple of sandwiches” Sirius snickered to this private joke and yawned. “I think I still need a bit of sleep” he said and proceeded to climb into Harry's bed.

“Sure” Harry said and wondered if he should tell Sirius that he was in the wrong bed.

Harry quickly showered and put on some jeans and white shirt which was provided by Dumbledore. As he returned to the common room Hermione and Ron were already waiting.

“Feeling better Harry?” Hermione asked

“Yeah, I could eat a horse though” he said with a straight face, Remus and Peter came over to them.

“You are nuts” Hermione chuckled

“Weasel go to breakfast then” Ron said through his laughter and the five of them left for the great hall. Though Remus and Peter followed the trio a bit confused.

Remus knew all to well about animal puns and he wondered if Harry really was a werewolf and his friends did the exact same thing his friends did for him. He smiled at that thought. Every werewolf deserved their own animagi friends.

Breakfast was rather quiet, most students were still asleep and those who were eating had their noses in the newspapers or schoolbooks.

“Anyone we know?” Peter asked Remus who was reading the daily prophet.

Remus shook his head “some poor muggles” Peter nodded and continued eating.

Harry shared looks with his friends. They knew the questions to well. How many times had they asked it. How many times had they prayed to not hear their loved ones name in the radio. Harry lost his appetite quickly and decided to just make a few sandwiches for his godfather and his father. He really should start thinking of them by their names. He sighed. Sirius and James.  
  
“Remus, can you bring the sandwiches up?” At Remus confused look Harry continued “Sirius asked for them, but I wanted to go straight to the library” Remus smiled a secretive smile.

“Of course Harry, see you later” With that he followed Peter out of the hall. His best friend surely acted out of character since Harry came along and it's only been 2 days. Usually James and Sirius go to the kitchen never had they ask to bring some food back. Sirius disliked it if other people touched his food, Remus was sure he wouldn't even eat them since it wasn't Harry who brought the sandwiches back. While James might not eat them since it was Harry who made it for them.

No one saw either the trio nor the marauders till dinner again. The trio spent the whole day in the library researching. Hermione had looked up everything about time travel. She needed to know how they came here but it seems that they were the first ones to have actually used a cutting curse on a time turner, which did not surprise her that much. She guessed that the unique magic Dumbledore was talking about was coming from the time turner.

Ron read every animagi book they had. At least that's what he said. Harry was sure he saw Ron sleeping more than actually reading the books.

Harry searched everything they had about basilisk, the sooner they knew how to kill it the better, and even better if there was a way to kill it without having to get to close to the giant snake.

“Guys” Harry begun “basilisk fear roosters right?”  
Hermione nodded

“That's what's written in the books but what if that's wrong?” Ron asked. Really he didn't wanted to take risks if he had to face the king of serpents.

“Maybe I could speak to it?” Harry provided

“What? Like asked it for it's tooth? ‘Hello missster basssilisssk can I have your toothhssss’ or” Ron chuckled “Could you pleassse drop dead” Ron gave a poor imitation while Hermione chuckled Harry just rolled his eyes.

“No you idiot. I can tell her to close her eyes or just ask for a bit of poison?” Hermione stared at him for a bit

“That could work. Either way we need to be prepared in case it's not working” both boys nodded they needed to break into dumbledores office. Which won't be easy. Dumbledore knows almost everything what goes on in hogwarts.

“Found anything?” Harry asked Hermione who shook her head.

“It really seems like we are the first to go this far back in time, or others haven't said anything. Harry the ones who traveled way back died or disappeared.”

“How come we didn't?” Ron gasped

“I am more concerned about Dumbledores comment about weird magic surrounding us” Harry stated

“Professor Dumbledore, Harry” Ron imitated Hermione and earned himself a chuckle from Harry and a swap on his head by Hermione.

“It bothers me too, but I think it might be the time turners magic”

“But he said it still surrounds me?” Harry sounded desperate. He needed answers.

“Maybe the time turner is still inside you from when it cut you.” Ron provided. Harry didn't know what to say to that. Mental. That's all that came to his mind.

Hermione couldn't give him the answers he desperately needed neither could Ron. And Dumbledore refused to share his theories. He sighed.

The trio headed up to the boys room after dinner. For the trio it wasn't anything new that Hermione would be in the boys room but from the look of the marauders it was unusual here.

“Didn't know you had balls Granger” Sirius chuckled.

“Of course she has otherwise she wouldn't be a Gryffindor” James stated matter of factly.

Hermione dropped herself on rons bed and glared at them, but Harry and Ron could see a blush appearing on her face and her upper lip twitching.

“Why don't we get to know each other a little better?” Remus asked, he was very curious of their new friends.

James nodded and pulled something out of his trunk “You ask one person a question and he chooses to answer or not, if he doesn't want to answer we get to dare him and if he does answer” he held up the bottle “Thanks to this special Firewhiskey he can only reply with the truth”

“What did you put in there?” Hermione asked sounding very anxious no doubt she already knew the answer and hoped she was wrong.

“Veritaserum, only two drops, you won't be forced to answer but if you do answer you won't be able to lie” Remus explained.

“I don't know if that's such a good idea” Hermione looked worried at the glass James offered her

“What happened to your balls Granger” Sirius mocked and poured his Firewhiskey down his throat. “Rules are simple, no question about families or diseases, don't want to answer fulfill a dare, don't want to do the dare? Answer the god damn question” Sirius smirked

Harry was about to reject the glass of truth Firewhiskey Sirius offered him when Sirius said “I don't take no for an answer, dashing”

“Alright I start” James said as everyone had drowned their drink “My first question is to Peter” Peter looked expectantly at James. “Why didn't you come over in the holidays?”

“Dare” Peter squeaked and didn't meet anyone's eyes. The marauders frowned and the trio exchanged looks, was it possible? Was Peter already a death eater?

“Very well” James said frowning it wasn't that hard of a question and everyone knew never to choose dare if playing with the marauders. “Kiss either Ron or Harry on the mouth with or without tongue is up to you” he smirked “for 10 seconds minimal”

Harry and Ron stared open mouth at James. Harry couldn't believe it. His father. Well James didn't know he was his father yet, but still. Peter stood up and went over to Harry who really wanted to protest couldn't he chose Ron were his last thoughts before peters lips were on top of his. Harrys gasped which turned out to be a bad decision because Peter took that as a sign to slip is tongue in. It was a gentle kiss at first but it seemed that after a while Peter got braver and so his kiss got harsher. After 10 seconds which seemed way longer to Harry, he hurried backwards to get away from peters tongue mouth and everything.

Though Harry should hate it. He couldn't. Peter kissing him had felt so much better than kissing Cho or Ginny ever had. Which confused Harry even more.

“Sorry” Peter mumbled and looked embarrassed for a second before grinning “Maybe next time we do this without a dare” He said and winked at Harry. And Harry swore he had just heard Sirius growl. When he turned to look at Sirius though the boy had dropped his gaze preventing anyone to see his face.

Harry looked to his friends who snickered. Those bastards.

“Harry, what's your favourite school subject” Peter asked smiling

“Defense against the dark arts” Harry answered, slightly glad he didn't have to do any silly dares or answer any embarrassing question.

“Really?” James asked disbelief in his voice

Harry nodded “Yes” he said slowly “Why?”

James shrugged but said nothing more.

“What do you have against me?” Harry asked looking pointedly at James

“You remind me of someone, someone I dislike” Harry nodded in understanding, he was sure people said he looked like James so it couldn't be from appearance, his eyes were the same as his mothers. And James loved Lily so no way it was because of his eyes. The way he talked maybe?

“Who? What precisely does remind you of that person?” Harry asked but James only laughed.

“Only one question, it's my turn” he said “Hermione, are you still a virgin?” Harry felt really uncomfortable thinking that this was his father. No child should hear their father asking their best friend, almost sister, such questions.

To Harrys surprise both Ron and Hermione turned red “No” Hermione whispered clearly as uncomfortable as Harry.

“You made her turn red Prongs” Sirius laughed

Hermione chose to quickly ask her question “Sirius, do you have a girlfriend?”

The marauders chuckled.

“Nah” He replied and glanced to Harry “Are you interested?”

For a second Harry thought Sirius was talking to him. He almost opened his mouth to reply, when he heard Hermione answering

“Not at all” Hermione blushed a Weasley red “ Just curious”  
  
Sirius took his eyes finally off Harry and turned to look at Peter “ James or Harry, who would you make out with?”

“Harry” He said shyly and turned red, James gave a mock hurt gasp.

“After all these years, and I get replaced by someone who slightly looks like me? It's the green eyes isn't it?” James dramatically yelled, and even Harry had to chuckle had his fathers actions.

“Remus” Peter squeaked “If you were to make out with anyone from the same sex who would it be”

“Sirius” He laughed as Sirius threw kisses at Him. He then turned to James  
“James, when are you gonna ask Lily out again?”

James laughed “Got a grand plan for Halloween” Harry gulped, what James might have mistaken as jealousy, because James directed a murderous glare at him.

“Would you make out with Lily” James asked his voice as cold as it was the first time they had met. Dementors had nothing against the cold James voice gave him. It took him a few seconds but he finally understood what James wanted to know from him.

Harry turned green. That. He had not expected. He looked at James as if he had grown a second head.

“So, would you?” James urged him on.

“No! Ew, that is.. I can't believe you asked me this! Merlins sweaty balls! I don't want to make out with her!”

An awkward silent came over the room.

“Why not?” James asked a bit perplexed by Harry's reaction, Lily was a very attractive girl.

“You want me to make out with her?!” Harry yelled, Ron and Hermione both doubled over in laughter.

“Merlin No!” James yelled back. And Ron and Hermione didn't doubt that Harry and James were related. Both yelling and turning green. Though both for different reasons. “Guess he isn't anything like Sniveluss, Padfoot”

Harry turned pale “Sniveluss?” He forced out, his throat shutting down. His father was comparing him to Snape! Hermione and Ron were rolling on the floor by this. Forgotten was the threats they made to James, the glares they send him.

“You don't know him, greasy git that one, a Slytherin, has been after Lily since I can remember.”

“Right, well I am not” Harry coughed out. He glared at his ‘Friends’ who shot him an apologetic look.

He looked around he really didn't want to look at Sirius or his father, Peter was out of option. So Remus. He thought about what to ask his former professor, but nothing came to his mind.  
“Remus, if you were a girl for a day what would you do?”

“I would probably take a long and hot shower” He said smugly

“If you were a girl you would take a shower?” Hermione clarified.

“It would be a very long and very” He looked her straight in the eyes “hot” wink “shower” Hermione blushed and dropped her eyes to the floor. This was her favorite professor. She never thought about how Remus must have been when he was young.  
“Ron, since when do you three know each other?”

“Since we met on the train to go to school” Harry was so glad he hadn't had said hogwarts and by Hermiones look she felt the same. This game was too dangerous.

“Harry” He said with a determined look whatever the question, Harry wouldn't like it “ Are you still in love with my sister?”

Harry gulped, he knew this was a weak spot in their friendship. Harry breaking Ginny's heart.  
Not able to look into Rons eyes he shook his head.

“Well you need to tell her when we get back home then” Ron said sternly

“I already did, before we left” Harry said and dared a look at Ron who then nodded in understanding.

“Right” He rasped out, “my turn”  
He looked over the marauders and wondered what he could ask. “Sirius” Sirius smiled at him. “What is your hobby?”

“My hobby?” He laughed “That would be riding my motorbike, fixing my motorbike, trying charms on my motorbike.

Harrys eyes went wide, he had forgotten about Sirius flying motorbike.

“You have a motorbike” Harry said in awe. The rest of the marauders groaned. They had seen the pictures heard the stories for the last week. All Sirius talked about was his bike.

“You wanna see it?” Sirius jumped up and went to his bed. The others continued playing the game, though the question were harmless, asking about favorite subject, food or song. Sirius showed Harry about twenty pictures all from different angles and different places.

Harry couldn't stop smiling, Sirius was like a little boy showing off his favorite toy. It was rather adorable hearing Sirius explaining everything to Harry who had no clue about motorbikes or cars. He was more into baking and cooking.

It didn't took long and Harry and Sirius joined the game once again. Sirius asking mainly Harry about his hobbies, favorite animal which was a dog. Sirius grinned his widest grin at that.

Sirius then had asked Harry about the sister Ron was talking about and about other ex girlfriends. Sirius was , safe to say, not happy about Cho or Ginny. He himself declared that he never was in a relationship before. Harry wouldn't have believed him if it wasn't for the Firewhiskey.

Harry also found out new things about Sirius and James. For an instance Sirius could play the guitar and James gave Sirius a tattoo once, a snitch with reindeer antlers as wings. Sirius had proudly showed it to Harry. The tattoo was on his right upper arm. James had given it to him two summers ago, at a shop behind a muggle bar. The tattoo artist had been so drunk he had passed out and James had taken over. Fortunately for Sirius, James could draw.

Hermione excused herself as the questions turned into another round of sex questions. Which not surprised Harry as most of those questions came from Sirius and James and surprisingly Remus.  
Which professor would you make out with. When Sirius had answered Dumbledore, Ron and Harry were certain the truth Firewhiskey had given his mojo up. They were wrong. The truth whiskey was still working, and shockingly Sirius would actually make out with Dumbledore. James had picked professor mcgonagall. Seriously, Harry could have survived without having to picture his godfather with Dumbledore and his father with mcgonagall.

Harry was glad he didn't had to answer any sex questions. It seemed that Sirius wanted to know more of Harrys favorite food, singer and dessert, his father didn't care and Remus and Peter where busy asking Ron embarrassing questions about his sex life with Hermione. No doubt enjoying Ron’s face turning the same color as his hair.

Soon there wasn't really any order there and everyone asked everyone. James had asked Harry questions about his opinion on dark magic, on being a death eater and following Voldemort. Which made Harry certain that his father still thought of him as Snape.

His answers either proofed Harry to be good enough for James, or proofed that he was nothing like the slimy git, or James was simply drunk enough, because soon he had hugged Harry and muttered thousand apologies for acting the way he had.

At midnight Sirius and James were to drunk to even form intelligent questions. Ron had passed out on his bed already and Peter had climbed into Harrys bed and kept on inviting him to sleep with him. With the help of Remus, they got all the boys inside their own bed.

“They are gonna have a bad morning tomorrow” Harry laughed

“Luckily for them, I have sober potions” Harry chuckled, you had to hand it to them, the marauders were always prepared.

“How come you aren't passed out with them?” Harry asked

“One of them has to be the responsible one” he laughed. “And you, you don't strike to me as the responsible one you have the aura of a troublemaker, I should know” Remus waved his hands in the directions of the three passed out marauders.

“Not much of a drinker” He said honestly “was my first time drinking Firewhiskey actually” Harry turned off the light and climbed in his bed. Remus turned the light on.

“I hate the dark” He said apologetically.

“Sorry, I didn't know” Harry understood, Remus hated the night as much as Harry did. Well Harry didn't really hated the night. Harry hated sleeping. “Good night Remus”

“Night Harry” He wondered if Remus ever wished someone a good night.

He had learned so much about the marauders. And even though it's only been two days the marauders seemed very accepting towards the trio. Harry smiled. He was finally home.

The next morning was more hectic. 6 people and only one bathroom appeared to be more problematic than they had thought.

His father accidentally jumped on Harrys bed, thinking it was Sirius’. That at least woke up Harry and he could shower, which was not a silent shower at all. Remus peter and Ron kept on banging on the door telling Harry to shower faster.

“To save time we could shower together next time” Sirius raspy voice whispered into his ear. And it went straight to his groin. He considered himself lucky for always changing clothes in the bathroom. If he had been still in the towel Sirius could have seen what Sirius voice and words did to him. And that would have been not good.

Harry escaped to the common room quickly, he needed to stay away from Sirius for a bit.

“Hi” he said shyly when he noticed his mother sitting alone.

“Hi Harry” she smiled. “Ready for your first day?”

“As ready as I can be” He tried sounding confident but he might have failed if her face indicated anything.

“You'll be great. And if you ever need help, you can always come to me”

“Thanks lily, I will” He saw her eyes wander to the stairs that head up to the boys room. “James is a great guy” He said and luckily his voice didn't fail him this time. He watched as a blush appeared on her face

She cleared her throat and punched Harry on his arm while laughing. "I have no idea what your talking about” She mumbled the words.

“Of course not” Harry laughed.

“Lily, why don't you introduce me to your new friend?” A girl said he wasn't sure where, but he had a feeling he had seen the girl before.

“Marlene, this is Harry Granger” Lily said, “Harry this is Marlene McKinnon” she made a wild gesture to Marlene.

“Nice meeting you Marlene”

“Nice to meet you too, Harry” She then locked their arms together “You are very handsome, like James, but with prettier eyes” she chuckled and dragged him to the big hall, while talking about the marauders and everyone else here at hogwarts. Marlene didn't seem to mind that Harry wasn't even listening to her gossiping and rants about people Harry didn't even know.

“Alice” She screamed and Harry flinched. “Meet my new friend, isn't he a spitting image of James?”

“Merlin yes. But he looks nicer” She said and looked Harry over. She touched Harry's face and turned him left and right. Where was Sirius when you needed him Harry thought. Harry felt more like a puppet at that moment. “Hi I am Alice” Alice said and hugged a dumbstruck Harry.

“Hey, I saw him first besides you already got that longbottom guy” Marlene yelled into Harrys ear.  
Oh merlin, Harry thought, this was Neviles mom.  
Lily chuckled behind him

“Seems you are quite popular Harry” Harry only groaned in reply. He was ‘quite popular’ in his time too, but no one had actually touched or hugged him. People in this time were weird. Too much body contact. Too much touching.

“Harry there you are” Sirius pouted and pushed Marlene aside. “Longbottoms girlfriend, McKinnon, Evans soon to be potter” he nodded in their direction, And grabbed Harrys arm. Harry heard a click and some flashlight and turned around. His mother stood there holding a camera and smiling at Harry.

“Come, Harry” and once more this morning Harry was dragged around.

Behind him he could here people chuckling which he was certain were his parents and his best friends.

Harry turned to look into Sirius stone grey eyes. And heard Sirius tell him all about professor slughorn and his famous club, which Sirius told him he should under no circumstances join. He proceeded to tell Harry about classes, slytherins and professor mcgonagall, he nodded here and there but kept his mouth otherwise shut. He already knew about them.

Sirius didn't stop talking until they finished breakfast. “Anyone we know?” He asked Remus who had the daily prophet in front of his face. Remus only shook his head.

Sirius turned silent for a while “see that boy, love” he said to Harry while pointing at a younger version of Snape, Harry nodded not realizing what Sirius just called him.

“That's sniveluss” Remus closed his eyes, while Peter looked up to see James reaction. James attention though was on none other than Lily Evans. Who was currently laughing at one of Marlene's jokes.

Harry nodded to let Sirius know he was listening. Next to Snape was someone who looked almost like Sirius. He had shorter hair but the same grey eyes. His cheek bones weren't as high as sirius’ and his lips were a bit fuller. “Who's that next to him?” He asked and watched as Sirius face turned from hatred to sadness

“That's my brother” He said shortly and left no room for continuing that conversation. He turned back to his food. Instead of eating Sirius just sort of played with it and Harry had to admit, that Sirius mood swings resembled that of a dog. He was flirty one moment, grumpy the other, sad the next and ignorant another moment later. Sirius was rather a handful. Well Harry never had a dog, but that's how he imagined a dog would be.

“Harry, Ronil and Hermione” Lily's voice brought Harry out of his thoughts, we should go to class if you finished eating?” The trio nodded and turned to follow lily out of the big hall and into the potions classroom which they shared with Slytherin.

“Potter” A familiar voice appeared behind Harry and he turned around.

Before him stood none other than Snape, who looked mortified.

“You are not potter” He stated. Harry would have loved to say that he was. But Snape didn't look at Harry with his usual hatred and angered look. He looked almost kind and friendly.

“Severus Snape” He said and took Harrys hand and placed a small kiss on top of it. “At your service” a smile on his face.

Harry stared open mouthed at his former professor. A professor who had hated him based on his name and looks alone. A professor who had bullied him since he started school. What the hell was wrong in this time? Did he die? Was this all nothing more than a dream? Honestly that made much more sense than Snape being nice to him.

“Harry Granger” he said shortly and pulled his hand from Snapes grip. Harry excused himself from Snape and he went to his friends who hadn't even noticed he was gone. Being in love did that. They were never completely there always in each other's face. He saw Ron looking at Hermione with puppy love eyes and that look kind of reminded him of the way Snape just looked at him. As he sat down next to them he started his little, but well deserved rant. This morning was just too much.

“What the bloody hell is wrong with this place?!” Harry demanded in an angry whisper “Ruddy, Shaggy! Snape just kissed my hand!” Ron and Hermione gasped “ and!” Harry continued “and he was. . . He was nice and he even smiled!” Harry whimpered. This was too weird for even Harrys not normal life.

 

 


	8. The past loves body contact

“Pads” James called, his best mate hadn't even noticed the trio leaving for potions just now. Hadn't seen the trios questioning looks as if to ask if they weren't coming.

“Padfoot” Again he gets no reaction, Sirius stares at his food his thoughts all on his little brother.

Sirius couldn't come to terms with how Regulus had changed. Sirius who was once Regulus Idol was now a person Regulus hated. Sirius still remembered how he had protected his little brother from his raging mother and unstable father, how he would take the blame and how he would take the beating. He still had some scars on his back ‘Proof of how much their parents loved them’. He had never known how parents were supposed to love their children, he only found out after visiting the Potters.

James parents were the kindest people Sirius ever got to know. They didn't scream at him when Sirius had accidentally destroyed a mug, they hadn't thrown said mug at Sirius while cursing him. They had remained calm as Sirius cried a hundred apologies. They had just repaired it cleaned the covered hot chocolate floor and smiling said it was just a cup, ‘nothing that magic couldn't fix’.

That saying was popular at the Blacks too, but the meaning was so much different. His parents had said that once they found out that Sirius didn't plan on finding a girl and producing a heir. Nothing magic couldn't fix they had said and casted the cruciatus on him. Asking him afterwards if he was still gay. Sirius shuddered. He had packed his things and left the Ancient and Noble house of Black that moment. He now divided people around him into two categories those who liked him and those who could go and kiss Salazar Slytherins behind.

Regulus had since that day never spoken to him again. Their relationship was already hanging on one thread since Sirius had become a ‘Lion’ but leaving the Ancient and Noble House of Black was the last straw. Regulus hadn't even looked at him after that. Which hurt the most, that his mother had blasted him off the family tree was rather a blessing, but Sirius really wanted his little brother back.

“Sirius Orion Black!” Sirius head snapped up and he gives James a ‘what do you want look’.  
“Finally” James sighs and Remus snickers

“Thinking of Snape? Or were you just murdering your toast for fun?” Remus asked innocently and Sirius only huffed in response

James knew it wasn't about Snape, it never was, Sirius did hate Snape with a passion but it was more of boredom, he likes making Snape angry. And Snape later did found out which button to push to make Sirius furious which was easy. Sirius had a ‘black’ temper. His family was known for their insane temper and for being insane.

“Come on, we're gonna be late for potions” Sirius glanced around. The great hall was almost empty

“Where is Harry?” James groaned, if it wasn't the motorbike it was Harry. He shook his head sadly and looked at Sirius who searched the room for the small green eyed boy. James agreed there was something about the boy that attracted people to him, but it's been two days. Sirius only needed a shag and he would be his old self.

“He just left with Lily, you were kind of ignoring him” Peter pointed out. Sirius stood up from his seat and went to leave for class.

“Well let's go then! Don't wanna be late now , do we?” Sirius practically yelled as if it wasn't him at all they had been waiting for.

James went beside Sirius and threw his arm around him. “Everything ok?” He asked in a whisper, Sirius wasn't someone who liked to hold hands and cry his feelings out after all.

Sirius shrugged but gave James a small smile. It would never be ok. Not as long as Regulus hated him, or worse not as long as Regulus followed the path his parents wanted him to go. He didn't know if he could handle it if Regulus ever became a Death Eater. He grimaced.

James clapped him on the back. “It will be ok in the end” James said. “You’ll see, one day he will come back” James didn't had siblings, but he had Sirius, who was practically his brother. He would be heart broken if he would lose his brother. He grinned at Sirius confidently.

“I hope your right James” James nodded. Sirius rarely used someone's given name. It was usually, Prongs, Mate, and sometimes Jamie. Sometimes he would say James of course, and it always indicated that Sirius was being serious, which was rare. Last time it was when he had run away from home and called James on his mirror. That was the only time James had seen Sirius with red eyes and drying tears on his face. A look James would never forget and would make sure to never let happen again.

The classroom was full of students but luckily Slughorn wasn't there yet. Harry, Hermione and Ron sat on the marauders usual place. Sirius went a row behind them and sat down, this was usually McKinnons place who sat next to Lily today.

“I don't like this seat” Peter whined.

“It's the same seat wormtail just a row behind” Sirius said, Peter only huffed and complained some more about this seat not feeling right.

“What do you want to do? Tell them to leave?” Remus asked in a way that made it clear that was not an option. Peter pouted and shook his head.

James stood up and went over to Lily, Transfiguring her quill into a black Rose, “A flower for my Flower” Sirius heard him saying and Lily replied with a groaned “How am I supposed to write now, Potter?”

Sirius sighed and turned his attention away from his best mates attempts to win over Lily's heart.

In front of Sirius, Harry spoke in a violent whisper to his two best friends and Sirius couldn't help but be curious as to what they are talking about. Since Sirius hated feeling curious he decided to just go over there and find out what troubled Harry this early in the morning.

“What's wrong Harry, you look like you’ve seen a boggart” he said behind Harry, who jumped up and fell silent immediately.

“He has seen Neviles Boggart” Ron whispered and earned himself a hit on the head by a chuckling Hermione who besides chuckling herself told him that it wasn't funny, Harry on the other hand let out a small whimper.

“Who is that?” Sirius wanted to know, but the trio waved their arms in a dismissing manner.

Harrys cheek were flushed and pale at the same time and he looked over to the Slytherins.

“Did they hex you?” Sirius demanded to know, in a harsh whisper. Harry shook his head sadly, as if he was disappointed they hadn't hexed him.

“Worse” Ron laughed. “Snape kissed Harrys hand” Harry let out another whimper.

Sirius stared mouth open at Ron and then Harry who looked at the floor.

“You’re joking” Sirius said, he didn't like this feeling, it's the same feeling he got when he saw Peter kissing Harry. A growl almost escaped him, needles to say, his grim didn't like it either.

“I am serious” Ron said, usually at this point he would say ‘No I am sirius’ or his friends would point at him and say ‘No he is’ but he wasn't in the mood for that joke.

“Ron” Harry said warningly and the red haired wizard fell silent. Harry smiled at Sirius a clear sign that he didn't wanted to continue this conversation any longer and turned to face the front again.

Sirius went back to his seat, James was still at Lily's table trying it with silly poems he had read over the summer.

Remus and Peter discussed the charms essay which Peter still hasn't finished or even begun to start on. Remus gave him some starter points and said it was up to Peter to do the rest, who then whined and asked for more information.

Sirius Grimm was still growling, as he looked over at Snape, who was writing in his potions book, acting as if nothing had happened. Sirius couldn't put it in his mind, Harry was like a bright angel, he shone so bright he lit every room up he walked in, and then there was Snivelus who was.. Well like Snivelus. A slimy git with oily hair and a large nose. And a slimy git with oily hair and a large nose shouldn't be kissing an Angels hand, Sirius thought growling.

Which earned himself a questioning look from Remus, “You okay?” Sirius nodded and gave him a small over enthusiastic smile.

After 5 minutes of Sirius being trapped in his thought of what he would do to those stupid lips that dared to touch his Harry, Professor Slughorn entered the classroom which in an instant fell deadly silent. James returned to his seat next to Sirius in an instant,

“Went well?” Sirius asked and James gave him a thumps up. Sirius leaned over and whispered into James ear what Ron had just told him. James gasp was heard all over the classroom and the two found themselves starring at Snape who was looking between Lily and Harry.

“Slimy bastard” James and Sirius said at the same time.

“Black” Professor Slughorn called

“Unfortunately here” Sirius said and a few girls giggled, as usual he just ignored them.

“Unfortunately indeed” He heard Snape say, Sirius smirked his smug grin , a grin that was known by his friends as the before a prank grin. Snape glared, knowing exactly what that smile meant, he had seen it too often after all.

James grinned “What do you have in mind Padfoot?”

“He won't be using his mouth anytime soon” Sirius declared smirking.

James laughed and looked at Snape, ruffling his hair in the process. James would love to hex Snape as well. But just last week he had asked Lily for one chance, her only answer was if he would grow up. Remus had told him growing up meant no more Hexing Slytherins for fun.

“Dormien” Professor Slughorn continued. A small yes was heard from the Slytherins.

“Evans”

“Present Sir” Lily said and Sirius saw Harry looking at her, it was a different kind of look from how James looks at her but it was similar. James would have hated Harry even more had he seen that look, but ever since he knew Harry didn't want to make out with lily he didn't pay much attention to the raven haired boy.

“Granger and Granger” Professor Slughorn called “Twins?” He asked smiling his creepy smile. Twins were after all rare in the magical world, and twins were extremely powerful especially those who have the twin connection, able to share magic and mind.

Harry nodded and Hermione shook her head, Professor Slughorn raised his right eyebrow. Harry shook his head and Hermione nodded. “Well if you make up your mind let me know” He said and returned chuckling to calling the students.

Sirius glanced to Remus and James both nodding in agreement, that was odd, they would have to talk about that later. Peter wasn't paying any attention, neither to what just happened nor to Professor Slughorn, Remus had to shove him when he was being called since Peter just stared out of the window.

“Snape” Sirius smirked, wand at the ready he casted Snape’s mouth shut before he had the chance to answer. Sirius smirked widened when he saw Snape’s eyes widen as he tries to open his mouth to answer. Sweet, Sirius thought smirking.

“Severus Snape” Slughorn called again, this time Snape stood up, pointing to his mouth and to Sirius hastily.   
“Go to the hospital wing then my boy” Professor Slughorn sighed, it wasn't the first and it wouldn't be the last time something like that happened. But. Slughorn needed Sirius in his famous little club and so he had to get on Sirius good side. Blacks after all were powerful wizards and he wanted the set. He wanted Sirius and Regulus.

A few Gryffindors laughed at that, Snape turned red and glared at them, his glare lingering at James and Sirius a little bit longer. Both were talking about potions ignoring Snape, which they knew would make him even angrier.

With as much dignity as he could Snape went out of the classroom. Face red and mouth glued together, it wasn't the best curse Sirius could have casted, but Snape understood the message completely. Snape promised to himself that this was far from over. He would get the boy, he wasn't about to lose those green eyes to a marauder again.

Sirius looked up and saw Lily looking at him and James but as she saw James actually talking about potions she couldn't help but smile, those two were so obvious, for an instance they would never discuss potions after someone got hexed and opening a book alone was something James and Sirius did rarely. That smile turned upside down fast and she looked disappointedly at James, who panicked. On one hand he didn't wanted to betray his friend and throw him under the bus on the other he felt as if he had just let her down and that hurt even more. But Sirius was his brother, so he did what he always did, he smiled flirtatiously at her.

Sirius then pointed at himself and lily understood, James hadn't had anything to do with that. She gave them a we talk later look and turned back to professor Slughorn who called Wazlib, the last student on the list.

Sirius felt another pair of eyes on him and turned to look directly into emerald green eyes. Almost as green as Lily's he mused. Harry looked confused at Sirius who only shrugged and gave Harry a small smile.

“We will learn today about the Vollubilis Potion” He declared “who can tell me what the potion does?” Three hands shot in the air, Sirius didn't had to look to know whose two hands that were, Lily and Remus were the only two students who actually study anything in potions, and Slytherins, well raising their hand was just beneath them, they would answer if they were called on by the Professor.

“Granger” That would be the third hand, Harry was right Sirius thought Hermione was like a combination of Lily and Remus.

“It alters the drinkers voice, Sir”

“5 points to Gryffindor” She even had the same smile as Lily once she was awarded with house points.

“Recipe is in the book, ingredients on the shelf behind you” He pointed behind the students, as no one moved he added “Go on now. Pair up”

Sirius threw James a puppy look who laughed and nodded. There was no need to question it actually, James and Sirius always pair up after all. Peter was glad that Remus was pairing up with him, being rather bad at potions. It seemed that only the trio had problems deciding who should pair up with whom.

Sirius heard Harry say that the two love birds should pair up together, Ron saying that they always pair up and Hermione surely wouldn't mind pairing up with someone else, since she was also so much better in Potions. Hermione nodded and glanced around searching for a potential partner but Harry stubbornly shook his head, glancing around himself.

In the end McKinnon made that decision for them when she came over to pair up with Harry, only to be pulled in to the seat next to Hermione, where Ron had sit a second ago.

Hermione apologized to a shell shocked Marlene for pulling her, but Hermione didn't look sorry at all. “Harry already has a partner, but I don't” She said smiling. Definitely a mix of Lily and Remus that girl Sirius thought smiling.

Ron grinned a sheepish grin at Harry and sat on the chair next to him.

“Well Harry, the Ingredients aren't gonna come here by themselves you know” Ron said laughing. Chuckling Harry stood up and pulled Hermione with him to the shelf with all the ingredients.

“Harry isn't gonna disappear but our ingredients will if you don't move your arse and get them” James whispered into his ear

Sirius stood and showed him the middle finger. It didn't have a meaning for wizards. But in muggle world it was a rude gesture, a gesture Sirius had adapted to love.

As he searched for ingredients, he heard Hermione and Harry searching for leafs. Sirius checked the ingredients list, and found that they didn't need leafs for this potion. Just bat tongues, sea salt, frog legs and snake skin and a bunch of other animal parts.

“There Harry” He heard Hermione say and Harry immediately hushed her to be quiet. Sirius hadn't seen where she had pointed but it seemed as they didn't plan on taking the leafs just yet. Harry smiled a mischief smile and Hermione returned chuckling to her Table.

“What are you looking for?” He asked honestly curious.

“Sirius” Harry jumped. Sirius was sure had Harry been a cat he would have jumped two meters in the air.

“Well here I am, love” Sirius snickered and watched as Harry turned around muttering something under his breath and continued to pick out the ingredients.

“Did you hex him Siri?” Harry then whispered clearly unsure if he wanted the answer.

“Siri?” Sirius asked with a smug smile

“Huh?” Harry asked him looking adorably confused

“You just called me Siri”

“I said Sirius” Harry insisted but both of them knew that was a lie.

“It's okay, you can call me Siri, Love” Harry still looked at him expectantly but seemed to realize that Sirius wouldn't answer his question. He sighed and went to go back to Ron.

It's not as if Sirius didn't want to answer Harrys question, he just feared said boys reaction. Would he act like Peter? Clapping and smiling and encouraging him to do more hexes? Somehow Sirius doubted this. Would he be like Remus? Silently disappointed but never telling him to stop? Or would he be like Lily? A small dragon who spit fire onto everyone who seemed to anger him or who seemed to do things he didn't agree with. And somehow Sirius knew that's exactly how Harry would react, though he wished for an Remus reaction. Sirius knew that Harry already knew that it was him who had hexed Snape. I mean Snape had literally pointed at him and his mouth. Harry only wanted it confirmed.

Sirius sat back to his table with James and started cutting his bat tongue in small stripes. He hated potions. Cutting animals was not how he wanted to spend his time.

The rest of Potion went on in silent, every man to busy to cut and stir. To smash some snails or burn the wings of a fly, needing the ashes.   
Professor Slughorn made his round checking here and there, giving advice and correcting some potions.

“Excellent!” Slughorn beamed at Lily, “as always” he added. His face fell slightly as he saw Harrys potion instead of a shimmering green it was a gooey yellow. “Maybe some practice with either Severus Snape” Sirius snorted “or Lily Evans would do you both good” he said to Harry and Ron, both nodded and looked at the ground.

“What happened?” Hermione asked

“I think I got the wrong ingredients” Harry said and Ron shook his head making his red hair fly around wildly.

“I think I cut it too big” He countered.

“Well at least some things don't change” Harry offered “I will always suck at Potions” Ron chuckled and looked at the seat Snape had sat before.

“You could ask Lily to tutor you, I am sure she would” Hermione said and looked pointedly at the two boys.  
Sirius knew that Lily would gladly tutor him as long as Harry wouldn't be late and would always work hard. If there was anything Lily didn't like then it was lazy students who let others do their work.

Hermione groaned as Harry shook his head, not wanting to being tutored by Lily. She went over and tried to save the potion as much as she could, and In the end it was a gooey green.

The bell rang and everyone bottled up their potions into a phial and put it on Slughorns desk.

As Harry walked out he saw Snape standing in the hallway his face just as he remembered him, a deathly glare, gone was the smile he had given Harry.

“Potter!” Snape said, the exact same way he had always done, Harry looked up green eyes shining bright  
“Granger” Snape said softly “My mistake, My deepest apology” he said and took Harrys hand yet again.   
Harry gasped and tried to pull his hand back but Snape had a rather strong grip. The only difference between then and now was Snapes ugly smirk and a growl behind Harry.

Before Snape could kiss Harrys hand, Harry was pulled aside roughly, he almost fell if it wasn't for Remus who was ready to catch the small boy.

Sirius now stood where he had been a second ago, glaring at Snape.   
“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Sirius asked loudly and Harry shook his head, but Sirius didn't look at him, his eyes fixated on a still smirking Snape, both boys had their Wands drawn.

“No I am fine, we should probably go to lunch, we are blocking the path” Harry offered, he hated fighting.

Sirius didn't pay him any attention he was now in a harsh whisper argument with Snape, both looking murderous, just as they had been in the shrieking shack.

Snape and Sirius still had a whispered argument as Slughorn came out of the classroom to see what the tumult was on about and tore them apart.

“Are you really okay?” Remus asked worriedly, he hadn't seen what Snape had done, he had only heard Sirius growl and then he had practically thrown Harry away from Snape.

Harry just realized he was still leaning on the man, he quickly recovered and cleared his throat awkwardly   
“Yeah I am fine, it's not like he was Hexing me” Harry said. The conflict between Gryffindor and Slytherin seemed much more intense here. He touched his upper arm where Sirius had pulled him, it surely would leave a bruise. Another mark on his body.

“What happened here?” Ron asked as he and Hermione came out the door.

Harry shrugged “Not important anymore, let's go eat I am starving” in a whisper he continued “You got it?” Ron and Hermione both nodded grinning.

“Can't argue with that” Ron chuckled and practically ran to the great hall. Hermione shook her head glanced back to the students that surrounded Sirius and Snape and a bewildered professor Slughorn. Professor Slughorn all but pushed the two out of the hallway, Hermione didn't know if that was a good idea, surely they would fight anywhere, he should have given them detention, Hermione thought.

“Are you sure we should leave them alone? I am pretty sure they are gonna fight?” She started much to Rons dismay. He really didn't wanted to return he longed for his food.

“Its just a school fight Hermione, just think of Snape as Malfoy.” He told her and she shook her head sadly

“I don't know if that's the same” She begun but was cut off by Ron.

“Sure it is, Sirius and Remus told us they hated each other since first year” He turned to Harry “Harry since when do we hate Malfoy?”

“First year” He groaned. He didn't want to be compared to that. What the marauders did was bullying. He didn't think that he was a bully, at least he hoped he wasn't.

Ron nodded in agreement, and continued “When they see each other spells and curses are flying through the room and probably a bad word or two” again he said “Harry, if we meet Malfoy what do we do?”

“Probably try to punch, curse the shit out of him, usually starts with insulting each other” He told himself more than Ron. Was he really a bully? Or was Malfoy the bully? Or were they both? Could two people bully each other? Would it still be called bullying or simply a fight?

Hermione groaned but as she tried to say something she found her mouth closed by Rons hand. She glared at him and got a smile in return.

“Yes, sometimes a spell gets too much, too dangerous but that is unintentional” Ron said.

Harry remembered Blood covered Draco on the wet bathroom floor, and a scared Snape being saved by his father after Sirius had lead him to his death. He sighed and was glad that they had finally made it to the great hall.

“ I wish they wouldn't fight though” Harry said as he said down and stared at his still empty plate

“Well we could tell them the truth, if James knew what Snape had done for his child I am sure they would never pick a fight with him again.” Ron offered

“No!” Hermione almost screamed “we have to keep our true identity a secret.” Harry nodded beside her it was to late now it would be awkward, he told himself, I mean his father had disliked him from the beginning there was no way he would believe him anyway.

“That won't be easy, but we gotta keep this a secret as long as possible.” Harry added and the food appeared. “After lunch we go to the ROR, as much as I would love to stop those idiots I call , dad, professor and Godfather , from fighting, there are more important things that we have to discuss” He said before he began to dig in to his food. Mashed potatoes and a chicken breast. He would say it's almost as good as moms cooking but he had nothing to compare it to. This was the most delicious food he had ever tasted. This was his moms cooking.

After lunch and a full stomach the trio went to the ROR

Hermione fished a jar out of her bag

“You stole the whole jar?” Harry gasped

“Harry, I know we said to start a commotion outside so Professor Slughorn would leave, but don't you think that was a bit much?” Hermione said, clearly wanting to say it for the last half hour. Harry sighed

“I didn't do anything” At Rons snort he continued “Honestly. Snape called me Potter, and when he realized I wasn't James he apologized and wanted to kiss my hand. Again. That's when the marauders came they thought Snape hurt me and Sirius pulled me away and both started arguing” Harry ranted. Ron stared at him open mouthed and Hermione had a knowing smile on her face.

“He tried to kiss you again?” Ron said slowly “Bloody hell Harry, what is it with you and the people here, everybody wanting a piece of Harry it seems”

“How exactly is that different from home?” He asked. He still remembered the love potions.

“The difference young Harry is that people here act with their body” Ron said seriously “How many times have you been touched and kissed here? And it's been only three days since we landed here” Ron whined “How many times had that happened back home?”

“People here are different Ron, the war is going on” Hermione said “People here tend to hold onto as much love as they can”

“Doesn't mean they can rape everyone” Ron mumbled.

“A kiss on a hand can barely called rape, Ronald! Honestly!” Hermione sighed.

“More importantly, stage three” Harry cut off further argument that would no doubt happen, he really did not want to discuss it any further.

“We should start next Saturday or Sunday” Hermione offered “The taste will make us really sick for the first two days”

“Wouldn't then Friday afternoon be better?” Harry asked and Ron nodded beside him.

“Yes” Hermione sighed “But are you sure you feel fit until then?”

Harry frowned “I am as fit as a horse” He said confidently though he wasn't sure who he tried to convince, Hermione and Ron or himself. Truth was he was still on shaky legs. The thestral in him used a lot of magic and his body wasn't used to share it yet.

“If you think so mate, let's just wait and see till Friday eh?” Ron reasoned and this time both, Hermione and Harry agreed with Ron.

“ I think we should befriend Hagrid” Harry sat after a while, Ron nodded

“You miss his rocky cake don't you Bolt” He said snickering

“My teeth surely don't” Harry encountered and continued more firmly “It wouldn't feel right to try and steal a chicken from him, we should befriend him and ask for one?” He hadn't intended for it to sound like a question, but he wasn't sure how long it takes to befriend someone, it had taken 5 minutes with Ron, a troll with Hermione and a wand and fist fight with Sirius.

“Let's give it a month?” Ron offered, “we will visit him frequently while we do stage three, at the end we will ask nicely and if he doesn't well we just gotta steal it”

“He will know for sure it was us!” Hermione reasoned.

“And then we will apologize” Ron explained his master plan.

Harry shook his head amused, took the jar full of mandrake leafs and stored them safely into a cupboard.   
Strangely the Room of Requirement still looked like Grimmauld place, probably because despite everything he felt there at home and safe with Sirius being there with him.

“Let's head back to the common room, I think we have charms at 2 o’clock which is another hour away” He said and went to the door.

The trio headed back, Harrys mind was full of unanswered questions. Their plan was rather slow, Harry mused having to wait another month, he still wasn't sure if they even had that long, but he was prepared, he had written a long paper that explained everything and if he were to disappear he was sure the marauders would find it and read it. Hopefully then they would never switch the secret keeper.

Hermione and Ron seemed extremely happy here in this time, and Harry couldn't blame them, no one they knew was dead yet, and even though the war was going on here, the trio wasn't involved. Yet. That was about to change. Again they would have to defeat a basilisk, again hunt the Horcrux, again defeat the dark lord.

They stepped inside the common room and spotted the marauders easily. Remus and Sirius sat on the red sofa having a heated conversation. James sat in the corner of the common room transiguring a box into a rose and Peter sat at the table doing his essay, while asking Remus and Sirius bunch of questions.

That wasn't what caught the trips attention, it was more the fact that Sirius once Black hair was now red. And on top of that he had a black eye.

“What happened?” Harry whispered and in quick steps stood before Sirius “Siri, what happened to your eye?”

“What about my hair, Harry love?” Sirius sighed and touched his flaming red hair. “Guess I could be a Weasley now, or a Evans” He smirked

Ron cleared his throat and crossed his arms. Sirius glances up to him and nodded. “You are right Wazlib, I am too handsome to be one of them” Rons face turned dangerously red but Hermione changed that when she said she would date a Weasley over him any day. Harry laughed and Sirius pouted.

“How come only you got hexed” Ron asked curiously.

“Told the others it was my fight, besides I can take on Snape by myself Wazlib” Sirius told him stiffly, Harry sighed and looked rather disappointed but didn't voice it out. Sirius blessed Merlin that Harry was the Remus type.

“I can see that” Ron mumbled under his breath and Remus laughed a loud laugh, Harry had never heard him laugh like that and it was rather contagious, he found himself laughing along with Remus.

Sirius scoffed and pulled Harry down to the sofa with him, hugging him around the waist and telling him to stop laughing at him. Harry tensed up and stopped instantly he turned to look at Sirius, face blushed and green eyes opened wide.

  
He had never before sat on someone else's lap, let alone be hugged like that. And never by a male either. Well Sirius had hugged him before but then he was his godfather and it wasn't on his lap.

Sirius looked worried for a second before he smirked and asked Harry if he still would make fun of him, Harry responded by sticking out his tongue at Sirius. He felt like a child on Sirius lap so why not act like one.

Sirius scoffed and started to tickle Harry. That was also something that never happened before. He had seen it once aunt Petunia had tickled Dudley, who had laughed and looked really happy. Harry had tried to tickle himself but had found that it had no effect what so ever. But Sirius tickling him, was everything, this was what he had missed out as a child. Harry laughed harder than he had ever before. His stomach started to hurt and he squirmed in Sirius lap trying to break free from the torture, a fun torture he mused.

“Harry!” Sirius groaned “Don't squirm please” and Harry blushed, before he hit Sirius red head

“Stop tickling me then!” He yelled back

“Stop flirting the two of you!” James said from the corner of the common room. Harry turned Evans red, and Ron and Hermione gave him a teasing smile.

“You’re just jealous because Evans won't flirt back” Sirius countered.

“Sirius could you please let go of me now?” Harry asked embarrassed, his dad was watching them after all.

Sirius tightened his arms around Harry and shook stubbornly his head.

“Help?” Harry asked Ron and Hermione who had been watching him with amused smiles. Ron then sat down beside Sirius and pulled Hermione on his lap. Both giggling like little love puppies. Ron then turned to look at his glaring best mate and said “what? Now you aren't alone” pointing at Hermione.

As his last resort he looked pleadingly at Remus who shook his head and said “You are on your own”

“Wouldn't you love to snog Snivelus” Harry asked suddenly and Sirius instantly let go of Harry and looked the boy over, everyone turned silent and looked at a smirking Harry, who gently stood up. “Thank you” He said and sat back down at the ground before the fire back turned to the others.

“Harry! You were joking right?” Harry decided he didn't want his father to think he actually wanted to snog his enemy and so nodded “ Don't ever say that again” Sirius said firmly.

“I agree with mr. Fake red hair, mate” Ron said shivering and Harry found himself laughing once again along with Remus.

Lily came down the girls room with a parchment in her left hand and a quill in the other and  joined them. She sat down next to Harry smiling at him. And as if they were bonded James immediately showed up next to him as well. His parents at either side of him, Harry found himself smiling.

“Granger”

“Please call me Harry, Lily” Lily nodded.

“Harry, Professor Slughorn informed me that you might need tutoring in Potions?” She asked.

“Uh” He forced himself to say “Not really” Lily frowned.

“I could help you?” She offered again, but he wasn't stupid he didn't need tutoring from his mother.

“No really it's fine, I am not that bad” Harry said and his statement was followed by several snorts. “Oi!” He glared at his ‘friends’.

“Alright if you change your mind, I’m at the library every Saturday at 3 O’clock with a study group” Hermione peaked up and climbed off of her boyfriends lap.

“Study group?” She asked but before Lily could explain Remus told her all she needed to know. He and Lily had created that group for helping each other with homework or to help others who didn't understand a particular subject.

“He can't on Saturdays” James said looking at Lily.

“I can't?” Harry asked, that was new to him, but yes of course he can't, stage three, Saturday he would be sick in bed. But his father didn't know about that.

“He has quidditch practice every Saturday from 2-5 pm.” James said more to Lily than to Harry, as if they had been discussing that already.

“I do?” Harry found himself saying.

“If you are half as good as Wazlib says you are, then yes, you do!” James said determined.

“He is even better!” Ron started again and Harry quickly cut him off

“I am not gonna try out.” Harry said stubbornly and glared at Ron.

“Of course you are, Harry Love” Sirius said as he got off the sofa, followed close by Ron, and sat down in front of Harry. From behind Harry could hear Hermione and Remus discussing the benefits of study groups.

“Erm, no I am really not Sirius” Harry said, Hermione didn't seem to listen, she surely would come and help him out of this dilemma.

“You have to” James said and crossed his arms in front of his chest sending him a pleading look.

“I don't” James raised his eyebrows “I don't have a broom” He finished lamely. It was the truth Harry thought, though not really the reason as to why he wouldn't want to join. He just had more important things to focus on. Like a basilisk, horcruxes and Voldemort.

“Is that the only problem?” Lily asked, and Harry frowned at her, surely she wouldn't force him to join. “I have a broomstick but I hate flying, frankly it terrifies me, you could borrow it”

“I couldn't” Harry whined

“You could and you will” James looked gratefully at Lily, no silly love poems no silly wooing. Just his parents joining forces against their son. Harry sighed “Thank you Lily” James said honestly and Lily smiled gently at Harry and James.

Then he turned to Harry “ Are you feeling okay and in top form right now?” James asked, Harry shook his head defeatedly. “Alright” James clapped his hands together “Try out is Thursday morning for you, that's astronomy day so no classes in the morning, and in the evening for everyone else" With that James stood and went to the pin board, writing down the try outs schedule.

“You can't just decide that” Harry groaned loud enough for James to hear.

James laughed and replied mockingly “Can too, Harry love”

 

 


	9. High in the sky is were I'd rather be

James stood before Harry's bed his hands on the curtain pulling it away slowly. It was Thursday and he couldn't wait to see the small boy fly, if he only flew half as good as Ronil said, James would be incredibly happy. Last year they had the worst seeker who didn't saw nor catch the snitch when it was right in front of his face. Now that James was captain that would change. They would have to win the Quidditch cup again. McGonogall agreed with James there and gave them the Quidditch field every Saturday from 2-5 pm. Which was still not enough for James.

James looked at the sleeping Harry, the boy seemed to have a bad dream, muttering small apologies. He didn't notice Sirius walking up to him, James had woken him up first. Which had taken about 15 minutes. Sirius was more surprised that no one else woke up because of them. James wasn't known for being gentle. James loved to jump on others bed, scream in their ear or throw water on them.

“That's creepy even for you Prongs” Sirius said as James continued starring at the sleeping Harry. James jumped not having heard Sirius creeping up behind him.

“Bugger off” James rasped out “I was just thinking” Sirius raised his eyebrows “If Ronil is right and not totally overselling his friend we have the Quidditch cup in our pocket” James looked at Sirius smiling while messing up his hair, Sirius nodded, they had to win Quidditch and the House cup this year. Sirius hated to see Slytherin win in their last year, no way Sirius would let that happen.

James cleared his throat and tried to gently wake up Harry, it wouldn't do good to anger the small boy on this important day. “Granger” he whispered and gently shook his shoulders, Harry groaned but didn't open his eyes, which led to James shaking his shoulders a bit harsher “Time to wake up” James said. Harry tried to move out of James range and pulled his blanket up, all James heard was a mumbled 5 more minutes.

“Maybe you got to kiss him” Sirius suggested, having heard from Lily about sleeping princesses and a waking kiss, chuckling as he saw James face. James wasn't homophobic, two of his friends were after all gay and bisexual. But as much as he respected them he just wouldn't want to make out with another male. Just like Sirius wouldn't want to make out with another female.

As if Harry heard him, which he probably did, Harry shot up and glared at Sirius for that suggestion, looking slightly green.

“Good you’re awake!” James yelling was accompanied by 3 groans from Ron, Remus and Peter. “Go on then take a shower so we can see how good you really are” James said excitedly.

Harry looked at the blurred faces which sounded like his father and godfather. He yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. When he was poked with something, he peered down and saw something that looked like his glasses, he mumbled his thanks and put them on.

Harry glanced at the clock above the door, which showed it was 7 in the morning, Harry turned to look at a still smiling James, “Now?” He asked disbelievingly.   
  
James nodded “Of course now Harry Granger”

Harry stood up and went to his trunk fishing out a black trouser and a white t-shirt, while mumbling under his breath about ‘Mental Quidditch captains’, ‘Worse than Wood’ and ‘Planning on failing on purpose’. James only laughed in reply, and said “Don't you dare young man!” To which Harry only huffed and rolled his eyes in answer before closing the bathroom door.

“Hey Ronil” James yelled

“Huh? Is it time for breakfast?” Ron yawned.

“Yes” James assured him “Now up with you, make sure Harry doesn't fail on purpose” James looked rather proud with himself as he looked up at Sirius, who had sat down on Harry's bed.

Sirius chuckled as he saw Ronil basically falling out of his bed, hastily he went over his trunk taking out the same clothes as Harry and sat back down on his bed yawning. His eyes fixated on the bathroom door in which Harry was still showering. Ron thought about banging on the door but decided against it, Harry didn't seem to be in the best moods the last couple of days. Instead he watched Sirius on Harry's bed, who seemed to be smelling Harry's pillows, Ron frowned and decided that people in this time were clearly mental.

Sirius inhaled Harry's smell, cinnamon and rainy forest. Almost like Christmas Sirius mused. He couldn't help but smile a little, that Harry smelled so like his favourite holiday.

It's been three days since Snape had kissed Harry, since the two of them had fought and since Harry had sat on his lap. He had already lost the black eye and red hair, Snape though had still a slightly swollen lip.

But every since then, Harry had avoided him, not only him but everyone, even Granger and Wazlib. And Sirius didn't like it at all, he tried following Harry but wasn't fast enough, tried to ask Harry if he wanted to hang out but Harry always just shook his head, not even sparing Sirius a look or a few words.

Sirius thought it was because his fight with Snape, but Harry was okay with that, he hadn't said anything after that. Sirius groaned and buried his face in one of Harry's pillows.

“You okay there Mate?” James asked sitting down on Harry's bed as well.

“Splendid” Sirius laughed mirthlessly.

“He's avoiding everyone not just you” James said as always James could read Sirius like an open book.

“Who?” Sirius asked innocently. James only clapped on his back giving him a knowing smile.

“Hippogriff crap!” James suddenly howled “I forgot the broom” James stood up and ran for the door.

Sirius was still in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed the room coming to live. Peter ran to Remus bed convincing him with bad excuses to let him see the astronomy homework, Remus fished out his notes telling Peter to do it himself.

“Moony!” Peter whined. “I wanna watch the try out too”

Remus shook his head stubbornly “You should have done your homework on Saturday or Sunday then Peter”

“Please” Peter pleaded “ I have chocolate” Peter suggested shyly.

“Are you trying to debauch me wormy?” Remus asked with raised eyebrows.

“Depends” Peter smiled hopefully “Is it working?”

Remus was quiet for awhile and Peter was sure Remus would say no, he hadn't expected Remus to ask him what kind of chocolate, and he was glad that he had Remus favourite chocolate from Honeydukes. Smiling Peter exchanged 5 chocolate bars for the astronomy homework and began to quickly copy it.

When Harry finally emerged from the bathroom Ron went in quickly telling Harry to wait for him and to not even think about leaving without him.

Harry nodded and went to his bed only to find it occupied by a silent Sirius who was holding his pillow staring out of the window. Harry cleared his throat to get Sirius attention. Sirius looked up in an instant and he gave Harry a small smile but made no move to stand up, Harry sighed and sat down as well.

“Everything okay?” Sirius asked, Harry still didn't look Sirius in the eyes as he nodded.

“Harry” Sirius began but cut himself off, he sounded pathetic and lovesick.

“Yes?” Harry asked, his eyes still fixated on the floor, as he leaned against the bedpost.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Sirius asked, damn sounding pathetic, damn sounding lovesick, damn it all! He wanted answer and he wanted it now, Merlin be damned if he didn't get it.

Harry looked at him, truly looked at him for the first time since three days. “I haven't” he then said, and Sirius would have loved to slam him against the wall.

“Hippogriff crap Harry”

“I just have a lot on my mind, Sirius” Harry said still looking in Sirius eyes as if the answer he seeks for was written there.

Sirius smiled and touched Harry's hand. “Well you can surely think with me as your company” he told him “I can be very quiet, you won't even know I am there”

“I doubt that” Harry whispered but smiled at Sirius nonetheless. He considered asking Sirius what the point would be to accompany him just to pretend he wasn't there, surely it made more sense to just let Harry brood alone, but he decided against it. Mainly because of the shimmering hope he could see in Sirius’s grey eyes, or that small smile that made Harry's heart beat faster.

Harry felt a warm comfort on his hand and finally took his eyes off of Sirius and chanced a glance at his hand which was still being gently stroked by Sirius. Harry sighed and pulled his hand away. ‘I mustn't tell lies’. He was glad Sirius and the others hadn't noticed it yet. He hated remembering it. Not only because of what Umbridge did, but also because it was fifth year, the year he got the man beside him killed. And now the man was comforting him, that was too much for Harry to handle and he hid his hand between his legs looking at the floor once more.

Sirius frowned but at least he had gotten a reaction out of Harry other than a shake of his head or a stupid nod.

Both boys however were ignorant to Remus, who had watched them carefully while eating one of his five chocolate bars. Remus and James had already talked about Sirius changed behaviour, since he came back to Hogwarts he hadn't had a fling yet, of course it was hard for gays, even though the wizarding world has nothing against homosexuals, most purebloods surely do, and some of the muggleborns do as well. Lily told them it was because in the muggle world people were really prejudiced.

Purebloods were against it if it was their heir that was gay, in Sirius case if Regulus were to be gay it would be alright but not Sirius. Sirius had to marry a pureblood girl and produce a heir. Since wizards only marry once, a divorce was out of question and cheating would leave the family name with a bad reputation. That's why most purebloods did everything to ensure that their heir or heiress wouldn't be gay. Remus never had found out what they did to Sirius when he had refused to marry another pureblood girl, but from Sirius behavior it must have been painful.

Hence why Sirius hasn’t come out yet, only the marauders plus Lily knew, and of course the people who he slept with, there was the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, the Hufflepuff 5th year whom he had met at the lake once and bunch of others, but this year Sirius went to neither of them even though they gave Sirius their best ‘let's shag’ look. Normally Sirius would have jumped at them immediately, not this year though, this year he watched Harry.

James head appeared the rest of his body hidden behind the door “Ready Harry?”

“Almost” Harry answered pointing at the bathroom door “We’re waiting for Ron” James nodded and said he would wait down stairs.

Silently they waited for Ron, Sirius altering from watching Harry and the bathroom door, Harry watched the floor as if it was something interesting and not a plain brown wooden floor, Remus watched his best friend and Harry from a save distant on his bed. The only sound made was the scratching of Peters quill.

After 10 minutes the bathroom door finally opened and Ron stepped out, he looked around, the room was filled with an awkward silence. He cleared his throat making three people look at him, everyone except Harry who was still inspecting the floor. Ron laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. “Ready?” Was all he asked.

“Wait” Peter yelled making Ron jump “Only one paragraph” Peter said hastily waving his parchment in the air.

Remus stood and entered the bathroom. Ron who was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room sat down on Sirius bed in front of Harry.

“Nervous?”

Harry looked up at him, Ron could see thousand unanswered questions in Harry's eyes, guilt, and sadness. His bright green eyes were brought out even more from the darkness below his eyes caused by lack of sleep.

“A bit, you have been selling me too high you git!” Harry said giving Ron a small smile. Ron couldn't help but think that the smile didn't match the rest of Harry. Harry shoulders and head hanging low, his hands hanging between his legs. He looked defeated, weak and nothing like Harry Potter. If it wasn't for his famous black messy hair, his Avada Kadavra eyes and his lightning scar, Ron would be sure that sitting in front of him wasn't his best mate.

“Have not” He countered laughing. “I have been saying nothing but the truth” Harry rolled his eyes and dropped his gaze once more to the floor.

Harry knew he shouldn't be so down, but he couldn't help but being confused, and it scared him frankly. Sirius confused him, and the way Sirius made him feel confused him even more. It was almost the same feeling he got when he used to think about Cho or Ginny… Harry quickly dismissed those thoughts. That was absurd. Sirius was a man, a good looking man a voice told him which sounded suspiciously like George. My godfather, Harry told the voice. Not yet, another voice replied a hint darker belonging to Fred. Harry frowned at the voice trying to find other arguments, it was nice to hear the twins again even if it was imaginary. Since Fred died in the last battle George had stopped talking and shut himself off completely from the rest of the world.

Harry glanced at Sirius who was still sitting at Harry's bed, hugging Harry's pillow. He was wearing his Quidditch Uniform and Harry couldn't help but admire Sirius fit body. As always Sirius wasn't wearing a uniform as he should, Harry couldn't help but smile at Sirius obvious rebellion for rules and order.

“Finished” Peter yelled proudly and quickly changed into something else than his Pyjama. He opened the bathroom door, and Harry could see Remus in his boxers drying his hair with his towel. Instead of closing the door peter just let it open and proceeded to brush his teeth. Ron and Harry exchanged looks before blushing red. They just saw their former professor in his boxers.

Sirius saw their faces and closed the door using his wand. “We don't usually close the door it's faster that way” He explained, “We only closed it for you guys, you seemed to be one of the shy kinds always changing inside the bathroom” He said shrugging.

Ron and Harry both had enough scars all over their body, enough to feel timid about themselves.

“Thanks” Harry said, he could live without having to see his father in his birthday suit and without questions about his many scars.

As if James heard Harry's thoughts the boy showed up again “What's taking you so long?” He peered at Harry.

Harry and Ron both waving at the bathroom door where Remus and Peter were still getting ready.

James huffed and stepped into the room. “You look like someone died” He informed the three boys. And Harry looked at Sirius, feeling his guts turn into knots, he could see Sirius shocked face as he starred at Harry seconds before vanishing through the veil. Harry dropped his head in his hands while rubbing his eyes. It does no good to imagine it now he told himself sternly. “Cheer up mates” James told them not noticing Harry's internal struggle.

Harry looked at his father and gave him a smile before standing up, “I’ll go ask if Hermione wants to join as well” He informed them.

Before he could open the door his father spoke to him “She's already waiting for you guys downstairs” Ron stood immediately and almost fell into Harry.

Harry chuckled when Ron passed him, he looked back at Sirius who actually looked as someone he knew had died, “You coming Siri?” He asked and hated himself when his voice decided to crack up, making him sound like a nervous bird.

The smile he got in return was enough to make Harry smile though, Sirius quickly stood, pushed the door open to the bathroom telling them to hurry up and that they would be waiting in the common room, and then he dragged a laughing James to follow Harry downstairs.

Lily and Marlene were sitting on the red sofa talking about the broom and flying in general. Hermione and Ron were in one of the love seats looking disgustingly in love but Sirius couldn't find Harry. Which was impossible because Harry had left for the common room only a few seconds before him. Did he leave again? As he looked to his right were James had been just a second ago he was greeted by bright green eyes. James, he discovered had left him to return to Lily.

“I could teach you how to fly” Sirius heard James say.

“I know how to fly, Potter” She informed him while crossing her arms looking much as if James had just hurt her pride. “I just rather be on the ground” Hermione across from them agreed wholeheartedly while Ron must have said something offending because Hermione pushed him off the seat.

“One day I’ll take you fly mrs. Evans” James said looking deeply into Lily's green eyes. “And you will prefer it to the ground” Lily neither shook her head nor did she nod, she only smiled in response and that was all it took to make James grin like a idiot.

Harry saw the exchange and finally understood what Sirius had said in fifth year. Harry never understood how his mother ended up Marrying James. Harry had seen the memory, she hated him but Sirius had assured him she didn't. Now he saw it. The way the two of them looked at each other, the way one smile makes the other smile even wider, the way they interacted with each other, seeming to forget the other people around them. People who claimed that James and Lily aren't in love were utter fools.

“Finally” James groaned as Peter and Remus showed up. “Come on Harry” He said and jumped up to grab Harry and drag him to the Quidditch field.   
But Lily was faster she took James by his arm before he could grab Harry.

“Breakfast first” She told him and dragged him out of the common room.

Ron dragged Hermione leaving Sirius, Harry, Marlene, Peter and Remus behind.

Silently they made their way to the big hall. Marlene walking beside Harry, and Sirius behind him in the middle of Peter and Remus.

“I can't wait to see you fly” Marlene told him.

“You play as well?” He asked.

“Chaser” she said smiling. “Not nearly as good as James, but then again no one really is” She laughed and entwined her arm in his. Harry looked pleadingly at Sirius who didn't notice, he and Remus seemed to be in a heated argument. Defeatedly he accepted his fate. And if he hadn't already known it at their arrival Lily had cooed at them, James told him to focus on the snitch not on women and Hermione and Ron had raised their eyebrows but smiled at him nevertheless. The reaction of Sirius once he saw made his heart stop, he looked sad.

Harry instantly freed himself and acted as if that didn't happen. He decided to sit next to James and talk about Quidditch, he had no intention of answering Hermione’s and Ron’s questions.

Sirius didn't touch his food he looked between Marlene and Harry. He had just convinced Remus that he wasn't in love or crushing on Harry, when he saw Harry and Marlene and literally got his heart crushed into a million pieces. This was worse than Snape’s kiss. Far worse than Peter’s dared kiss.

Those two were men, and Sirius was sure he could make Harry love him more than sniveluss or wormtail. But how could he compete against a woman? He shouldn't had hoped for Harry to be gay or bisexual. The boy hadn't given him any reason to. On the contrary Peter had kissed him as a dare and he had looked shocked, sniveluss had kissed his hand and Harry had ranted about it with his friends. And now here he was. This was exactly why Sirius promised himself to never fall in love or be in a committed relationship, people always end up hurting him, Harry wasn't even his yet, he wished he could just shut his feelings off. This was a crush, nothing more, and it crushed it to see Harry with someone else.

He glanced over at James, who seemed to study Harry and Marlene.

Marlene still tried to involve Harry in a conversation but Harry seemed to return to the way he was the past three days, straight out ignoring everyone and everything around him.

But James could see Harry's eyes wander to Sirius so very often and couldn't help but smile. He needed to talk with Lily about this, she was the one who understood something like that more.

“Finished?” James whispered to Harry who hadn't even started on eating, but he wasn't really hungry so he nodded. “Great, take your broom and start warming up, we’ll follow soon”

Harry stood looking at his two friends pleadingly who stood in an instant. Ron still clutching two sandwiches and Hermione chastising him about it. Both went over to Harry and the trio went to the Quidditch field.

“So, you and Marlene eh?” Ron said while taking another bite of his sandwich. Harry shook his head.

“Just friends”

“Does she know it Harry?” Hermione asked softly.

“What else would be there Shaggy?”

“Maybe she hopes to be more Bolt” Hermione pointed out.

“I never gave her a reason to hope for more” Harry replied coldly.

“Doesn't mean she wont, just make it clear you're not interested” Hermione said making it clear that Harry had to do exactly that.

“Leave him alone” Ron said his mouth full of bread. “It's not his fault people here are crazy, I saw Sirius smelling his pillow” Ron informed them, and Hermione had her knowing smile on.   
  
Harry didn't reply and oddly he felt it pleasing to know that Sirius had smelled his pillow, had hugged his pillow even.

As they arrived on the field he quickly mounted his mothers broom and rose up high in the air, he could make out Hermione and Ron going to the benches sitting there watching Harry.

Harry could have cried out of joy. He was finally flying again, any depressing thought he previously had were pushed aside, up in the air only he and the broom mattered and occasionally a golden snitch.

Harry flew a few rounds getting used to his mothers broom, which wasn't half as fast as his firebolt but he would manage, it was easy enough to stir. Harry pulled his famous Wronski Feint. As he flew straight to the ground smiling, he hadn't noticed the approaching group, he only heard bunch of people screaming his name when he was a few meters above ground, he quickly pulled the broom up and stood in mid air looking at the intruders. Running to him was none other than his parents, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Marlene.

While Lily looked angry and ready to faint James looked happy and impressed.

“Granger!” Lily yelled and Harry almost fell from the broom. “Don't you ever do that again”

Harry looked sheepishly at her before bursting out laughing. “Sorry mom” he said laughing and ran his fingers through his hair making it stand up in the air. He couldn't help but feel happy, this was the first time he had called someone mom, his mom. And even though Lily thought he was clearly joking it was one of the best moments in Harry's life. The fact that his mother was obviously worried for his safety only added to that feeling. With a smirk he told her “But it's actually one of my signature moves” He winked at Ron and Hermione who were coming down as well. Ron laughed and yelled his agreement.

“You are very happy today” Lily said narrowing her eyes at him.

“Is that a crime?” He asked and flew around the group “I forgot how much I missed being up here” He said as he stopped next to Lily only loud enough for her to hear. She gave him a small smile before he returned to fly high into the air doing a few somersaults.

James decided to just let the snitch free without telling Harry. A seeker should be able to see a snitch even if he doesn't know there would be a snitch. Fortunately for James who had jumped happily in to the air, Harry saw the snitch immediately and chased it, it didn't took long and Harry came down handing James his snitch. James smiled and threw the snitch in the air again. Harry felt like a little dog at that moment playing fetch, but he didn't mind, he couldn't help but think that this is how it could have been if there was no Voldemort. He and his father playing catch the snitch. The try out was already forgotten by Harry he hadn't had so much fun since … he couldn't even remember the last time he had such fun.

He chased the snitch 10 more times every time he caught it he was applauded by his group of friends.

James and Sirius rose up as well and met him mid air. “Sirius here” He pointed at Sirius who still looked grumpy, but managed to give Harry a small sad smile. “He’s the others team beater, trying to take you out” Sirius swung his bat once at small ball that didn't look like a bludger.

“That's a modified bludger” Sirius told him “Basically the same but softer, won't leave you with broken bones, only a blue bruise”

“I am the others team seeker” James continued at Harry's nod. “Make sure you catch it before me and try to avoid Sirius bludger, he has a very good aim”

Harry gulped and steadied himself on the broom.

“Remus let it go” James yelled and Harry saw something golden flying out of Remus outstretched hand. “Alright, look here” James said and Harry's eyes left the golden snitch in favor of looking into Hazel eyes “On the count of 3 we fly and search for the snitch” He told Harry who only nodded still staring into hazel eyes.

“3” Harry chances a glance at bright grey eyes

“2” Sirius smiled at Harry softly wishing him good luck and to have fun

“1” Harry grabbed his broom determined and smiling, he gave James his best Malfoy sneer before he dived down and looked for the snitch. This was just a game but this was a game Harry didn't want to lose.

Both James and Harry flew around searching for the snitch, Harry had never seen Sirius or James fly and was rather distracted by it, he had several bruises as proof.

Suddenly James flew straight to the ground, he had seen the snitch, the small crowd cheered and screamed but Harry couldn't hear them his ears full of wind pressure, he lay almost flat on the broom trying to catch up with James. He admired his fathers flying for a bit as he caught up and he could see why he was one of the best flyers, it seemed to come naturally, James though, seemed to try and control his broom. While Harry and the broom became one.   
Harry stretched out his arm, Leaning forward. James starred at Harry for a second as if he couldn't believe that Harry had managed to catch up on him. A second was all it took, and Harry threw himself on the snitch pulling up quickly before crushing on the ground, his father following his movements and pulled his broom with all his strength up.

Harry grinned at his dad raising his fist with the snitch in it in the air, before handing it back to James.

All three flew down to their friends were James proudly announced their newest seeker. He clapped Harry on the back grinning at him.

“No one has ever beaten James!” Peter squeaked and James grin faltered a little.

“You both were great” Lily and Hermione said at the same time.

“What about me?” Sirius asked mock hurt.

“You also did a great job painting my body blue” Harry said smirking

“You were supposed to avoid me not admire me” Sirius said laughing.

“Not my fault you are admirable” Harry encountered. Remus and James exchanged looks. Sirius was confused wether Harry was complimenting or flirting with him. But he couldn't help but smile as he noticed that Harry stood next to him and not Marlene, Harry smiling at him and not Marlene, Harry complimenting him and not Marlene. That was enough for Sirius.

“You know there are still other ways I could paint your body” He whispered into Harry's ear, who blushed a healthy Evans red. Remus choke on air, having super hearing thanks to being a werewolf had his downside he decided while glaring at Sirius who only laughed in return.

“Let's celebrate in the common room” James suggested but didn't wait for an answer dragging a protesting Harry with him.

Instead of a celebrating the Marauders went pranking, Harry and Ron went back sleeping, Marlene went out with Alice, and Lily and Hermione did some extra credit for astronomy.

They didn't do much else that day, James held the other try outs that evening before dinner and Harry and Sirius had to watch and give their opinion when asked by James which was rarely.

Eva Nostel whom he had met on the first day turned out to be the newest Chaser. She was in her fifth year and seemed to be an exceptional glyer, not as good as Sirius and not half as good as James, but then again no one is. Harry and Eva were officially introduced as the newest Chaser and Seeker and Mcgonogall gave them their red golden Quidditch uniform. Which Harry carefully put into his trunk. It was alright that he would have a bit fun he mused, looking at his Quidditch uniform and his mothers broom. He would make sure to focus on his mission, but why should he be unhappy surely it was allowed for him to have a tiny bit of fun.

After a satisfying Dinner, Harry thought he would explode if he ate anything else, they went to the astronomy tower. Since it was cloudy and they couldn't watch stars the professor decided to just give them homework and send the class away, which was fine with everyone but Hermione, who complained that they could study anyway.

“You weren't kidding when you said she was worse than Lily and Remus” Sirius whispered into Harry's ear.

“Did I say that?” He asked with a hint of innocence “I am sure I said she is basically Remus and Lily combined”

“Details, details” Sirius waved his hand “wanna go do a prank?” Sirius asked him, but before Harry could answer, Lily dragged him down the stairs.

“Harry already has a date for the night” Lily said at a scoffing Sirius.

Sirius watched the two leave down the stairs until he couldn't see them anymore.

“Prongs!” James turned around to look at him. “Get your cloak” James tapped on his front robe pocket grinning.

“I am sure you want to follow Harry and Lily” James whispered pulling out the snitch and throwing it in the air before catching it again and returning it into his pocket.

“Stop being a show off, you git, and let's go” Sirius said and went downstairs. James followed closely.

At the bottom of the castle Sirius glanced around. “We don't even know where they went” James said looking around as well.

“You got the map?” Sirius asked eagerly. James shook his head saying it's still buried inside of his trunk.

“Let's try outside?” Lily would never break open a classroom.

James pulled his invisibility cloak out of his pocket after glancing around.

“Stop right there Mr. Potter and Mr. Black” Someone said behind them. Both boys turned around only to be faced with a laughing Remus Lupin, who stood on the stairs above them.   
“You thought you could make some mischief without good ol’ Moony, didn't you?”

“Not much mischief, more stalking” James corrected him pulling the cloak over all three of them, which became more and more difficult since remus and Sirius were tall, James was sure they were part giant. While James wasn't short he wasn't as tall as his two friends.

“How'd you know where we were?” Sirius asked and Remus pointed at his ears.

“I could hear your screeching voice from above”

“My voice isn't screeching Moony!” Sirius almost screeched which only made Remus laugh more.

“Are we stalking Lily?” Remus asked silently as they made their way to the outdoor, it was just half past nine but the castle was incredibly silent.

“Yes and no” James told him trying to hold his laughter, he pointed at Sirius “Lover boy here, wants to stalk Harry”

“Do not!” Sirius crossed his arms and his mouth turned into a sulky pout.

“You don't?” James acted surprised “Then let's go back to the castle, because I can see red hair near the lake”

“Well we’re already hear wont hurt to listen what they talk about right?” Sirius tried to sound as if he wasn't dying to know what they talked about.

Remus clapped him in a mocking way on the back but the three moved forward to the lake, it was dark and the only light that they had came from the castle, making it able to see two pair of green eyes, pale skin and red hair. Thanks to the deadly silence they could sit by the trees while listen to Harry and Lily.

“I feel confused” He heard Harry admit. “It frightens me” He could hear the silent plead for answer and safety in Harry's voice.

“Change seems always scary, Harry” Lily told him, “Doesn't mean it's something bad”

“Please don't tell anyone” He pleaded and he could almost hear Lily sigh.

“Of course I won't, but you should tell your friends, don't worry they will accept it” Lily assured him. He heard a loud thump and looked to see Harry laying on the ground staring at the cloudy sky.

“It's ok to be yourself” Lily said gently and Harry gave her a snort.

“I would never be accepted if I was truly myself, never have been” Sirius could almost see lily open her mouth to ask but restraining herself. “Thanks for listening” He then said so gentle that Sirius almost felt jealous.

“Harry, promise me to stop avoiding and ignoring everyone?” She said, “And if you need advice or just a ear” She said laughing “I’ve been told I am a great listener”

“I will, Lily” He said still staring at the night sky. “I don't think I’ve thanked you for lending me your broom”

“It was nice to see you smiling and laughing again” Lily said and Sirius couldn't help but Agree.

“Well then let's head back then shall we?” Lily said and stood up, but Harry remained silent.

“5 more minutes?” He asked timidly.

Lily chuckled and sat back down both stayed silent, enjoying the small voices of the animals in the forest.

“Come” James said and pulled Remus and Sirius back to the castle.

“What do you reckon they talked about?” Sirius asked frowning.

Remus and James shrugged, and pulled Sirius in the directions of the Slytherin common room, they had found out about it first year, with the help of the cloak they followed other Slytherins.

“Let's spend the rest of our night prank some snakes” James whispered laughing.

Sirius pulled out his wand grinning.

 


	10. The guilt eats Harry alive.

Sirius didn't even pretend to listen to Professor Binns, he just leaned on James shoulder and closed his eyes, he could feel sudden pressure on top of his head and realized that James must have dozed off as well. History of magic, more like nap session Sirius thought as he slipped into the dream world once again, he didn't know if he was happy or if he was more disturbed about the fact that his dreams included a green eyed boy.

Said green eyed boy had trouble staying awake himself. He could feel Snape’s eyes on him, he hadn't met the boy since Monday, and to be frank he had hoped to avoid him even longer. He could barely sit still, he was anxious to start step three of their animagus quest, and not to mention that this class was boring as hell.

Harry tried to focus on what professor Binns was talking about, history was after all interesting. He listened for about 5 minutes but found that professor Binns monotone voice was a perfect lullaby.

Snape watched Harry as he closed his eyes and fell asleep, he sneered at the boy. The small boy had only eyes and skin color in common with Lily, just like the rest of the marauders minus Remus, Harry was sleeping instead of writing notes and paying attention, that was so typically Gryffindor always thinking they can do whatever they like.

Snape has been watching Harry since the boy had entered the classroom, and he couldn't help but hate the look of love and longing every time Harry looked at Potter or Black with Lily’s eyes. His eyes. He should only look at Snape that way. The more Snape looked at him the more like a curse Harry seemed to him, face of his enemy, eyes of his love and he seemed to like Black way too much for Snape's liking.

Snape loved Lily and that would never change. He could never love anyone else. But surely even he deserved a little bit of Happiness and even though Snape was neither gay nor bisexual he wanted Harry. He wanted Harry to look at him with love the same way Lily looked at James nowadays. Snape thought about changing Harry's hair into an Evans red and decided that it would make him even better looking. Thanks to Black he already knew the formula for that spell he only had to practice so he would get the shade right.

Snape looked Harry over again, he disliked the boy every time he closed his eyes. That face looked too much like Potter. The boy reminded him too much of fifth year and what he had lost. If it wasn't for Potter he would have never called Lily a mudblood. Since that day Snape was empty, he couldn't feel anything not even pain or sadness he was just numb. Then Harry came along and Snape had thought he had died as soon as he looked into the bright killing curse eyes.

He had never felt so many things at the same time, love for green almond eyes, hate for messy black hair, love for pale skin, hate for that face and those glasses, possessiveness as he wanted nothing more than make the boy his, he should never look at someone else, confused as to how to act, sad as he remembered that Lily would never look at Snape in any other way than anger. No Snape knew at that moment those eyes are his, and he would do anything even be nice to a Gryffindor.

What Snape hadn't taken in account was Black, who had made it perfectly clear that the boy was his, through Regulus he knew that The Black heir was into men. Regulus had told him how his mother had burned him off of the family tree, but she hadn't disowned him yet, too afraid that something were to happen to regulus, and the black family line would die down. No regulus had said that his mother would make sure to make Sirius straight again.

Snape thought of Harry as his personal hell once again, how could he handle it to lose his small happiness so soon to another marauder, and to Black nonetheless. Black was even worse than Potter, that boy was insane he had almost killed him! Detention was all he got, still green eyes were obviously not able to see the evil hidden behind a smile. History repeats itself Snape thought sadly.

“Harry, class is over” Hermione woke him, and Harry blinked his eyes lazily open a yawn escaping him. He looked up and saw Hermione scowling at him and he shrugged embarrassingly. “You could at least try to pay attention, both of you” She said and looked between Harry and Ron. Ron only rolled his eyes and stood up grabbing his girlfriends hand and led her out of the classroom.

Harry deemed it unnecessary to explain that he had tried, she wouldn't believe him anyway and if by a miracle she would believe him she would just tell him to try harder next time.

Harry stretched himself and stood to leave, they decided to go to the library and do their homework before dinner because they would be sick for the next two days. It was Hermione’s condition if they wanted to start step three on Friday instead of Saturday.

“Granger” Snape said as Harry stepped out of the door. Harry turned around and saw that the marauders were still inside luckily, Harry didn't want them to fight again. Lily was taking a picture of a cuddling James and Sirius, Harry had found out that his mother never left without her camera. She had said that the wizarding world was too amazing to not have a camera ready and besides the pictures move. Harry thought the later one was probably her number one reason.

Harry turned back to Snape and gave him a nod and a small smile. Ron and Hermione came to a stop next to him, Hermione gave Snape a smile which he did not return. In the contrary he didn't even gave them a glance simply ignoring their existence.

“I heard that you need help in Potions” Snape continued and the smile that was there turned downwards real quick, Harry looked ready to defend himself and Snape couldn't have that. “Why don't we pair up on Monday? I am sure you won't be able to mess up as much if I am there to over look it.” Snape gave no emotion away, but he hoped that Granger agreed, if they were to pair up he could see how good Snape was with potions, the best in their year.

Green eyes looked Snape over as if to detect the real reason for Snape to suggest such thing but in the end Harry gave him a nod. “Sure why not.” Ron looked hurt and Harry pointed out he should pair up with Hermione.

“Try to open the book before then, Granger” Snape gave him a little sneer “Wouldn't do good to blow us all up, I might be good but even I couldn't do a miracle and if what I heard was true about your potion skills a miracle is exactly what we need”

Harry glared at him before he laughed and struck out his tongue, and left with Ron and Hermione to the library.

Snape's mask was still on his face but underneath it he was smiling.

In the library they were soon joined by Lily and Remus, much to Harry's and Ron's dismay. This would be an horrible evening. Lily never let them copy anything but she did answer any of their questions patiently. Remus would look disappointedly at them but would let them copy it real quick every time the women weren't looking. Before Dinner they finished with the homework that were due on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday the trio decided to do the rest on Thursday morning.

Dinner was loud, as Sirius and James had a loud argument about whether potions or history of magic was worse.

“Prongs the minute you walk into history of magic you sleep, how bad is it really?” Sirius said looking James directly in the eyes. “Besides in Potions I only have two words” he dropped his voice and shuddering said “Horace Slughorn”

A few Gryffindors laughed while Lily chastised him saying that professor Slughorn was a good Professor. Harry disagreed with her but kept his mouth shut, sure Professor Slughorn was good but he was arrogant and just weird. Harry was glad he wasn't the boy who lived here, he really didn't want to join the Slughorn club.

“History of magic talks literally only about Goblins” James encountered speaking even louder Harry was sure the whole hall turned silent and listened to their argument, he didn't even dare to turn around and look at the Professors. He could feel every pair of eyes on the Gryffindor table. Out of his eyes he saw Peter creeping to the table, but no one else seemed to mind him.

“Potter! If you actually would have listened and weren't busy sleeping you would know your previous statement is not true” beside Lily Sirius nodded his agreement.

“I agree with mrs. Potter” Sirius said and gave a barking laugh as Lily threw her chicken at him. “Are you sure you wanna start a food fight Evans?” Sirius asked having a wicked grin on his face that even scarred Harry slightly.

Lily stood up saying things like ‘morons’ and ‘grow up’ but before Lily was out of the great hall the Slytherins table jumped up slightly and their food whirled around, splashing the Slytherins with food. As quick as it happened it was over already, but the Slytherins were already covered in chicken, soup, pudding, mash potatoes and they definitely looked tomato red.

Harry doubted he had seen the Slytherins ever look so angry. Regulus who had a bowl of mash potatoes on his head glared in Harry's direction. Harry was actually terrified, that was one murderous glare. ‘I defeated the dark lord, I can handle a glare I suppose’ Harry told himself and looked back at Regulus only to see that Regulus looked behind him. Harry heard someone chuckling and turned around to see the marauders. Of course.

Harry looked at the marauders and the Slytherins. No one could say it was them. They had a loud useless argument in front of everyone. No one had noticed Peter slip off, because no one really payed him that much attention. But still everyone knew it was them, if not because they knew these pranksters then by the grinning James and Sirius who had just high five each other.

The trio watched as Professor Slughorn hurried to his students and cleaned up the mess quickly. Harry frowned why didn't Dumbledore do something? The old man was sitting there and actually smiled. Harry rubbed his temple and turned back to his food. Hermione glared at the marauders who gave her an innocent smile.

Harry tuned them all off in favor to enjoy one of his last meals for a month, he could still have soup he thought miserably. The way Ron stuffed himself he must have thought the same. Only when Hermione scolded both for eating way too much did they stop giving her sheepish smile. She whispered they shouldn't eat too much or they might throw up when they feel sick tomorrow. Both looked longingly at their plates but stood up quickly, they couldn't wait to start step three.

Harry and Ron exchanged worried looks but Hermione assured them that everything would be alright. They where currently in the room of requirement starring at three mandrake leafs. They have been here for twenty minutes but Hermione kept talking and reminding them about the risk.

“Well then let's do it” Harry said quickly when Hermione had paused her speech in order to breath.

“Remember! Don't talk too much” She looked both over “Only eat liquid food” This she said while looking pointedly at Ron. Both nodded for what seemed the 20th time.

“Yes we know” Ron said and took a leaf putting it in his mouth. He turned green and held his thump up giving them a weak smile.

Harry took a leaf it was dark green and not soft at all, it would be really uncomfortable to have this in the mouth for a month, like having a thin wooden stick in your mouth that's how hard it was. He put the leaf in the air for a mock cheers and put it in his mouth.

He couldn't help but glare at Ron as the boy gave him a very weak chuckle. He suppose his face gave away how he felt, but then again Gryffindors wear their feelings on their sleeve.

His whole mouth was on fire, the mandrake leaf was spicy but that wasn't the worse, the taste was hot and bitter yes, but it seemed to drain the energy out of him and at the same time made him sensitive to his surroundings and his own body. He could feel his blood floating in his body, he could hear his heart beating and it made him feel even sicker, he could taste his surroundings. He tasted dark magic, sadness, Buckbeack, love, Sirius, polluted air and house elves. Yep definitely Grimauld place.

He could feel clearly now Bolts presence, he seemed to be happy, he was jumping around in his head and Harry envied his friends who had small fluffy animals and not a grown thestral, he felt every step bolt made and Harry had the feeling Bolt didn't like it too much that Harry wanted a small fluffy animal since Bolts steps became harsher since he thought about it. Harry tried to reassure his animal and praise him. It seemed to work a little as Bolt still walked but he had stopped jumping at least.

His body felt to heavy all of a sudden, his head weight way too much, the weight of Bolt was too much for Harry to handle, he needed to lay down on the cold floor. He could taste the sweat on his body, could feel the sweat leaving his body, he could hear Hermione and Ron panting for air. Both were on the ground as well. He looked around but everything was in blur, for a moment he thought it was because he had dropped his glasses but he could feel the frame on his nose. Everything around him blurred and seemed to move. He closed his eyes, that didn't stop the room from spinning around but it stopped him from throwing up.

When he opened his eyes he was still in the room of requirements. The room had stopped spinning but his body still felt heavy, he tried to lift his head but found that he simply had no energy left. He knew now how his father must have felt, a Stag and a Thestral weren't that different. Bolt seemed to think otherwise as he jumped in Harry's head. Harry groaned at the sudden pain. Two heads came forward and looked at him, both had never looked worse.

“Hey” Hermione said her voice barely a whisper and way too dark then her usual voice was “Seems like we fell asleep here”

Harry blinked he hoped she understood this as a nod, he just couldn't move his head, and Bolt didn't make it easier as he was offended very easily. ‘Are you a hippogriff or a thestral’ Harry thought gloomily and was rewarded with Bolt running harshly around.

“Feels weird doesn't it mate, I can feel him running around” Ron said and placed a hand at his wet head, Ron’s red hair was greasy looking even Hermione’s bushy hair looked rather straight as if even her curls had no energy left.

Harry tried to give them a smile or any reaction other than blinking but he couldn't, he closed his eyes again and dozed off for another few hours. The next time he woke Hermione helped him to sit.

“How come you don't feel sick?” He coughed, it hurt to use his voice. But he wanted to know as he saw both of his friends hadn't such trouble as he had.

“We do feel sick Harry” Hermione explained. “But your animagus is bigger, you can surely feel him right?”

Harry nodded he felt relieved that he at least could move his head a little, he felt Bolt glancing around.

“Besides that it is said the more powerful a wizard or witch the sicker they get” at Harry's raised eyebrow she continued “The more powerful the more sensitive they will be and that is what makes us feel sick, but after a day or two it will fade away, you will get used to sharing your body with bolt, you will get used to feeling his presence just like you got used to sharing your magic and energy. The mandrake leaf helps you for now to feel him and communicate with him, it's poisonous but if it's just in your mouth without you biting it, it won't kill you. It helps you feel your surroundings or your own body. In this case it helps you feel your animagus. After a month your body will get used to it, so that you can feel him without needing the mandrake leaf.”

Harry nodded and thought he should point out to Hermione to not talk so much. But even though he sat up a little he still felt way to weak to speak anymore.

Ron came beside him looking sweaty and green.

“Ruddy is easily offended and I can feel it every time he gets angry” Ron stated at Harry's worried look.

Harry pointed at himself and made a two sign with his finger.

“Bolt too eh” Ron said laughing “Hey man I don't envy you a bit for Bolt, I bet he is heavy, not like Ruddy who is a little fluff ball” He suddenly went very still and Harry could only hear Hermione snicker “Ouch Ruddy that was a freaking compliment, bloody hell” even Harry couldn't hide his smile. ‘Don't listen to Ron, I would never want anyone else than you Bolt’ better safe than sorry Harry thought and he could feel Bolt being happy and proud over that statement as he lay down and gave Harry's head a rest, for which Harry was immensely grateful for.

Hermione spelled his leaf stuck with the temporary spell so that Harry could eat and drink a little, which was embarrassing since Hermione made it her mission to feed Harry. Harry opened his mouth obediently but he didn't like being treated like a child, granted he couldn't stand the metal between his fingers, he was too sensitive for that, he could feel the cold metal and he could taste the metallic taste in his mouth which taste more like blood and which made him almost throw up.

Hermione gently fed him making sure that the metal never touched him.

“We should go back” Hermione said after a while.

“What time is it?” Ron asked lazily from the floor, he and Ruddy had been in a fight and it wasn't a fair fight since Ruddy was unreachable. In the end Ron’s face was blood red and his head hurt so much that he had to lay down on the cold floor. At one point Harry was sure he had heard Ron yelling that biting and scratching wasn't fair. Even though Bolt was heavy and easily offended at least he hadn't bit or scratched Harry, on second thought Bolt couldn't scratch him and Harry was sure biting was beneath Bolt, he had on the other hand been a victim of Bolts back kick and hoofs. The only one who seemed to have no problem seemed to be Hermione. She and Shaggy got along great. Only problem Hermione had was when Shaggy kept running around when Hermione tried to read. She had begged Shaggy to stop and Shaggy hadn't taken it well and Hermione had sighing put the book down and Harry had watched as sweat broke down on her.

“I am not sure but it's probably lunch time”

“Quidditch” Harry yelled and tried to stood up quickly, which in the end was as slow as Snape could find something nice to say about his father. Which was very slow. Ron had the audacity to actually laugh.

“I doubt you should fly Harry” and Harry defeatedly agreed. “But we should head back in order to let James know” Harry nodded and Ron and Hermione helped him walk.

“Come on Grandpa!” Ron said through his laughter and Harry gave him a weak glare.

Harry was never more thankful that the Room of Requirement was on the same floor as their common room, still he was knackered by the time they arrived.

“Harry!” Harry heard his name being called his head snapped up and he glanced around. His arms still around Hermione and Ron, harry didn't know how they managed it back no one of them could really move. Hermione and Ron had leaned on him for support, while he had leaned on them for support. He saw Sirius running to him “What happened, you three look awful”

“Just help us, he needs to rest” Hermione said, James and Sirius hushed Ron and Hermione away and took Harry upstairs. As Harry’s head hit the pillow he was already asleep.

“What happened?” James demanded to know as he came back downstairs, though Harry looked by far the worse of the three, Ron and Hermione didn't look much better.

Remus looked them over “I go get madam Pomfrei” He stood up but as he stepped forwards the entrance Ron and Hermione both yelled No!

“We are fine” Hermione said and gave them a small laugh that was drowned by her coughing. “Really, we only need some sleep” Remus looked like he didn't believe her a bit but sat back down.

“Get some sleep” James ordered, “After that we talk, I guess that means Harry will miss practice” He said and sighed, his hands ran through his hair just like Harry used to do when he was stressed or embarrassed. “Damn it” James called for Lily to help Hermione, and to make sure that Hermione rested and slept.

James and Remus helped Ron.

In the boys room Sirius was still next to Harry, gently stroking Harry's red face, he pulled the blanket over Harry even tighter.

“Sleep Wazlib, I will know when you only pretend to and I will make you sleep understood”

“Yes sir” Ron squeaked a bit scared of James he hurriedly went into his bed and closed his eyes shut. James motioned for Sirius and Remus to follow him downstairs.

Downstairs in the corner the marauders sat and talked warding themselves with muffliatos.

“I have so many questions” Remus started and the others agreed.

“I wanna know where they went to, how come they weren't on the map?”

“Maybe they are Death eaters” Peter said. Sirius rubbed his forehead tiredly.

“How would that explain why their names won't show? I didn't see any other suspicious names, did you?” Peter shook his head, they had stared at the map for hours and had found every student but not the trio.  
“Beside I highly doubt Voldemort has nothing better to do than make 17 year olds Death Eaters.” Peter looked at the ground.

“Death eaters crossed off the list then” James laughed before pulling himself together “They are hiding something though, how about we find out what it is?” He grinned.

“Or” Remus suggested “We could focus on our study”

“Moony we are top Students we don't need to focus on anything” Sirius laughed, an arrogant barking laugh still his smile made him look like the nicest man on earth. Only Sirius could be arrogant and still look modest. Those Black genes were terrible.

On Sunday Harry was feeling better still weak but better, he could still feel everything around him which made him slightly sick but Hermione had assured him that it would fade away soon, she and Ron were already feeling fine, Ron had occasionally little fights with Ruddy, which earned him a hit on the head from Hermione since he should try and be nicer to Ruddy and start to communicate and not pick fights with him.

“Ruddy is so aggressive! You only blame me! This weasel will be the death of me” Ron yelled.

“That weasel is you, Ron! It's your animal side” Ron shook his head stubbornly. “Try to be nice, for me?” Hermione asked sweetly. Ron was manipulated just like that, he nodded and said softly.

“Sure, ruddy isn't that bad, he is pretty awesome you know. I am just not good with compliments” Ron smiled and Harry was sure Ron was rewarded by Ruddy for that statement. Bolt too liked to be praised.

Harry stood and was thankfully not as slow as yesterday. He glanced to the door as it opened, “Feeling better Harry?” Remus asked gently and Harry gave him a small nod.

Sirius came over to him and pulled him down on his bed again. “Hey, I just got up” Harry said.

Sirius put his arm around Harry's waist and pulled him close. Simply ignoring Harry.

Harry could hear his heartbeat faster than usual and he was sure it had nothing to do with the mandrake leaf but with the man next to him. Harry was so close to him that he was almost on his lap. His head leaning against Sirius shoulder if he turned his head a little he could easily kiss the crook of Sirius neck. Alright bad thoughts, Harry reminded himself. His mother had told him it was okay to feel confused and to have sexual feelings towards men, but not towards Sirius, that was just bad. That man will grow up to be his godfather.

“We were worried when you three didn't come back to the common room on Friday” Sirius said to the trio.

“We fell asleep while exploring the castle” Harry said and hoped he sounded convincing. His voice didn't scratch his throat anymore, and he noted that it was back to how it used to be only a tick weaker.

“We looked for you three but couldn't find you anywhere” The way James said it made Harry feel sick. He could feel the accusation, It was like a blow in the gut. James was telling them that he actually had searched everywhere, and the only way he could have was if he had a magical object that showed everyone's where about in Hogwarts. Like the marauders map.

Harry had totally forgotten about the map, they needed to steal it too, Harry was sure it wouldn't show the name Harry Granger but Harry Potter, and how could he ever explain that. He made a mental note to tell Hermione and Ron later.

“Maybe you overlooked a classroom” Harry suggested. There was no way out of this. His father thought they had left Hogwarts. And in a way they had. The room of requirement always turned into Sirius Black bedroom in Grimauld Place.

“Maybe” James said and smiled, a fake smile that said ‘I know you are lying’. “Since you missed practice you will practice with me and Sirius on Thursday morning” Harry nodded and yawned.

“Sure” Harry said, looking everywhere but at the marauders.

Harry proceeded to lean against Sirius and let himself be washed over by Sirius smell and body heat. Bolt seemed to like it to, he was happily jumping around telling Harry to snuggle in even closer, to burry his head in that crook. Harry ignored Bolt but he didn't move away. Sirius smelled fantastic. Cigarette smoke and leather.

Sirius didn't seemed to mind that Harry was still in his arms, though Harry wouldn't think he would mind, he was the one who had put his arm around Harry in the first place. Besides, it was a friendly hug, just like James and Sirius had shared in historical of magic. Harry tuned out the others in the room, he wasn't interested in any of their talks. He was too tired and drunk from Sirius smell.

“Sleep” Sirius said as he tucked Harry into his bed “I’ll bring you back some soup yea?” Harry nodded and closed his eyes a little. It felt good having Sirius care for him even James had felt for fever on his forehead and told him to rest or he would go and get madame Pomfrei. It wasn't an empty threat but it made Harry smile, his father cared for him. He had never known how much he missed this, a simply hand on his forehead, a threat to call the nurse if he didn't behave. It made Harry wanting to disobey him just to see if James would really go through with it. But he was too tired, he closed his eyes and the smell of Cigarette and Leather vanished completely, instead all he could smell was anger and death.

Harry was in front of the veil. Instead of an old Sirius there stood the young one, he wasn't smiling or calling him Harry love he was just starring at him a murderous glare on his face, the same one Regulus had.

“Siri?” Harry asked and stepped forward. But a voice called from the veil, a voice he could never forget, a voice he had not heard for such a long time.

“Sir, why didn't Harry Potter sir save Dobby?!” Harry gasped and he mumbled his apology. He froze and hung his head low as young Sirius gave him a snort.

“I made you godfather and what did you do? Leave for the past leaving my son all alone at home” Remus angry voice made Harry shiver. He shook his head frantically as if Remus could see him, as if that would make a difference.

“No, Remus I did this for him too!” Harry said. “So that he can grow up with his parents” a tear fell from Harry's eyes. It was the truth though, yes Harry wanted his parents back but seeing Teddy is what made him think about actually achieving it, he had to! Teddy deserved to grow up with his parents.

“Did you?” Tonks asked “Or did you think only about you? Admit it, it's always Harry Potter this, Harry Potter that.” Harry shook his head.

“I did it for him too, I love him, but I could never replace you, moony Tonks you have to believe me!”

“Don't call me that” Remus didn't scream at him but those words cut him worse then the cutting curse had.

“If it wasn't for you, no one would have died” Fred and Dumbledore said. “You are a Horcrux, Voldemorts wandering soul”

“I am not anymore” Harry said, Sirius stood there listening to what was happening his eyes never leaving Harry, accusingly he sneered at him. A Malfoy sneer, or maybe a Black sneer.

“If you were never born no one would have died” Fred said.

“Lily, James would have lived. Sirius would have never spend half of his life in azkaban, he could have been happy, Remus would have been able to watch his son grow up, grow old with the woman he loved”

“It's your fault we died!” The voices repeated over and over again each time a little louder, until Harry couldn't hear anything else.

Harry dropped to his knees head in his hands mumbling a thousand I am sorry’s, to no one. The tears fell from his eyes and he looked up to Sirius who glared at him.

“Maybe you should change that yea? Make sure you were never born! Do you think I could love you knowing you are the reason my best friend is dead?” Sirius turned older with each word and he fell through the veil joining the voices on the other side telling him it was all his fault that they died.

  
Sirius loves House elves, of course there were a few exceptions like Kreacher, that bloody house elf used to tell on him all the time. Kreacher was too much in love with Sirius mother, no matter how many times she whipped him or told him he was a useless creature. But Hogwarts House elves? They were the best. He had asked for some soup for a sick student. He got 3 bowls of soup for Harry to choose from, a plate of bread to dip in, a platter of fruits and a cup of chamomile tea, a glass of water and a healthy carrot juice.

They even offered to bring the food to the student, but Sirius had declined. He had promised Harry to bring back some food and a marauder always stood by his words. That's why he walked the stairs up slowly he had never hated that the Gryffindor common room was on the highest floor until now. He could have levitated the food Sirius mused but that wouldn't be special. Behind him he could hear James, Remus and Peter making fun of him he happily ignored them.

James, Remus and Peter watched as Sirius went up the stairs to the boys room.

“It really hit him hard eh?” Peter asked

“He is head over heels” James agreed.

Sirius knocked on the door and waited, Ron had went up early saying he needed to rest some more. “Wazlib, it's me Open the door” the food was getting heavier by the minute. “Please”  
He heard footsteps coming near him and Ronil stood there in his boxers opening the door wide for him. “Thanks” Sirius grinned at him. As Ron went back to the bathroom Sirius saw that Ron's body was covered with old scars, he understood now why the two boys never changed in front of him. He was pretty sure that if Ronil wasn't sick he wouldn't have opened the door like this, he must have forgotten that he was only wearing his boxers or maybe he forgot about the scars.

Sirius placed the food on the night table next to Harry's bed. As he opened the curtain Harry's silencing spell fell apart. Sirius heard the small boy cry, “I am sorry” and “my fault” he whimpered. Ron came out of the bathroom at once and stood next to Sirius, he was still in his boxers. But Sirius didn't pay him any attention.

“Harry wake up” Sirius shook his shoulders. “Harry love, it's just a nightmare wake up” Sirius gently cupped the boys face with one hand and with the other hand he slapped him lightly.

Harry opened his eyes, and was greeted with grey eyes. He burst out crying. “Sirius, I am so sorry” he sobbed hugging Sirius “All my fault” Ron who stood next to Sirius went outside real quick, they had been through this already. While they were camping Ron and Hermione had found out about Harry's dreams, his guilt.

It would eat him alive and he became this empty shell, he would eat but he wouldn't speak to them or interact with them. He would be dead, as if the guilt had eaten him from the inside and would leave this empty person behind. A person with no emotions. Hermione had cried after a month, begged him to return, reasoned with him that it wasn't his fault. Ron didn't know what he dreamt of, Harry would never tell.

After 2 months with an empty Harry he came back to them, slowly at first he gave them a small smile which made Hermione cry out of happiness. After a week he was the old Harry again. He had still dreams, Ron heard him silencing his bed every night, but luckily he didn't fell back into the emptiness.

“Hermione, Harry has had one of his dreams” Hermione nodded sadly and hurried upstairs. She told Sirius to leave who made no move. He stubbornly sat on Harry's bed holding the small boy in his arms.

“Sirius get out!” Sirius glared at her. “He has been through a lot, he will tell you all about it if he is ready, he doesn't want you to witness this” Sirius stood up and left the room far too calm for Ron's liking. He knew the black heir never did something he didn't want to, and he was never silent or calm. Whatever he did, he did with a Sirius charm. That's what he had called it at least.

She and Ron sat down next to a trembling Harry who seemed to only speak two sentences. Sirius I am sorry and all my fault.

“Harry, it's not your fault, we talked about this remember?”

The door opened slightly and air blew around. Hermione closed the window and magically closed the door again warding the room with a heavy silence and locking spell.

“All my fault” Harry cried. Bolt was kicking him from the inside but Harry couldn't care less. Bolt wasn't happy that Harry thought this way but his dreams were right, it was his fault.

Hermione slapped him and he looked up. His eyes were red and wet, his mouth into a trembling pout as he rubbed his cheek gently.

She gently stroke over his cheek, “I am sorry but you were babbling” Harry nodded in understanding.

“I left teddy all alone” Harry said head hanging low “I am the worst godfather there is” He shook his head. “My godfather broke out of prison for me and I ran away leaving my godson all alone”

“That's not true mate, you are a great godfather” Ron said and clapped him gently on the back, Ron sighed and leaned against the bedpost “Remember that you told us you are doing this for him as well?”

Harry shrugged, Remus and Tonks didn't like it. They were angry at him.

“It was just a dream, whatever they said is not real” Ron said looking at Hermione for help.

“Without me no one would have died, if only my parents hated each other. This world is better of if I was never born, no one would have died” Harry said as if he talked about the weather.

“If you were never born many more people would have died, Harry” Hermione tried to reason with him.

He gave her a cold laugh that could compete with Voldemorts dark chuckle when he was torturing someone. He didn't look at her or Ron, didn't make more sound than necessary, all he could hear were the voices telling him it's his fault.

“You are being ridiculous” Hermione said but she looked scarred. “Please don't Harry, I can't go through that again” she said as she didn't get any reaction.

Harry just stared at the ceiling, he didn't look at anyone. His mind replied his dream over and over again.

“If you were never born who would defeat Voldemort.” She cried, Ron looked ready to smack Harry or to just sack down defeatedly. In the end Ron decided for the later one and sunk down on the ground. He never liked ‘Dead eyes Harry’

Harry stood up, Ron grabbed his arm but Harry yanked it away. He shook his head and walked away. Ron sighed, this was going to be a long 2 months.

“Harry” Hermione tried to follow him but as Harry spoke she froze on the spot.

“Save your breath” He said and with that he was gone. Ron and Hermione knew where he went to, they knew he didn't want to be bothered. They just hoped he would return quickly and he wouldn't do anything stupid.

Ron said down on Harry's bed. “It's supposed to be me who walks away, not him”

“He has a lot on his shoulders Ron”

“We all do” Ron sighed “but he was fine before we got here”.

Hermione shook her head, “He was never fine Ronald” she said next to him and her boyfriend immediately pulled her into a hug. “He hid it better there, but put yourself in his situation Ron, look who is the closest here to him”

“Sirius” Ron said and Hermione nodded. Yeah even Ron had seen the way these two interacted almost as if they were flirting or they were together. Sirius always touching him or whispering into his ears. Yeah and Ron was happy for Harry. He knew how much Sirius death had torn Harry apart.

After Hermione pulled Ron down to the common room two boys took off their invisibility cloak and they starred at each other questionably.

“Did you understand anything they were talking about prongs?”

“I , I am so confused Padfoot” James sighed and ruffled his hair “This only led to even more questions and no answers”

Sirius nodded. “Who the flying fuck is Ronald?”

“That's your question? What about what Granger girl said about defeating the dark lord” James looked at him.

“They even said his name, no one beside Dumbledore says his name.” Sirius agreed. He hoped that Harry was fine though. He had looked so empty when he had passed them. And the he talked, with no emotion whatsoever. Sirius shuddered. For a sick man Harry had never looked scarier.

One question didn't leave his mind though, why did it matter that he was closest to Harry? Was it his fault the boy had reacted this way?

 

  



	11. The voices in his head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought, Harry needed a little break down. He had just been through the war, he had seen friends and family die and he feels guilty.

Harry stood in front of the room of requirements, he couldn't think clearly, everywhere he looked he saw death, all he heard where screams, it was as if Harry was back, back when Voldemort attacked the castle.

The voices still screamed at him, screamed that it was his fault! Harry knew they weren't real, they couldn't be. Those voices belonged to people he knew were dead. It wasn't real, it was happening inside his head.

“Just because it's happening inside your head doesn't mean it's not real” Dumbledore said, his Dumbledore inside his head. Harry shook his head as if to shake the voices out, he was going crazy.

Harry wished for a place to hide, ‘Not this room’ he thought bitterly as he peeked inside. He quickly closed the door and wished for another room, but no matter how he phrased it, every time he opened the door the room was the same.

Defeatedly Harry went inside. Sirius old bedroom, the exact replica from pictures of motorbikes, half naked women, to the letter from his mother on the floor, everything was exactly the same from when Harry last saw it, and for the first time it didn't gave him comfort or safety, all he felt was regret and guilt.

A tear rolled down his cheek, he was alone, the only company he had were the voices and Harry could live without them. He needed time to think but the voices in his head were to loud. Wishing that he was never born and Harry agreed, this life never really offered much for him. The only good thing were his friends, Sirius and Remus and he had managed to kill half of them.

Harry didn't want to know what his father would say if he knew the truth. He probably would hate him again, in a way Harry was worse than Snape.

He had killed Sirius and he acted like nothing happened. How could he sit there hug the man who had died because Harry was too stupid to use a mirror? He hadn't even opened his gift. It hurt Harry to think that Sirius must have waited for him day and night, waited for Harry to call him. But Harry never did, he wanted to keep Sirius from doing something reckless and in doing so he caused his death. How could Harry look him in the eyes, how dare he smile at him. Harry didn't deserve the comfort Sirius brought him.

Harry didn't deserve Sirius at all. Sirius was the light on Harry's darkest days. He was the warm on Harry's coldest days. Sirius was safety, was comfort. Sirius was everything.

“Why did you have to come and save me?” He asked Sirius room “Why Sirius?!” The room was silent only his loud breathing could be heard.  
“Why did you taunt her?” He asked not anticipating an answer, he grabbed the nearest object which happened to be a lamp and threw it against the wall, watching as it shattered into small pieces.

Harry was angry, if Sirius hadn't taunted her he might still be alive. “WHY?!” He screamed and watched other things shattering against the wall. “I NEED YOU” Harry couldn't see clearly now, his vision blurred from tears flooding his eyes.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?” Harry grabbed for more things and threw them around, a glass, a mirror, a wooden chair, anything that wasn't glued on. It was the only thing he could think of. He had to destroy the room, remove the proof Sirius ever existed, because if Sirius never existed he would have never felt this pain. The pain that ripped his heart out of his body and left him empty and hurt. The pain never went away, its been three years and Harry still wasn't over it, still hasn't moved on, still felt the pain of Sirius loss. His chest burnt and his head hurt. “I NEED YOU SIRIUS, WHY? Why did you taunt her?”

Harry sat down on the ground among broken glass and shattered wood. Harry sobbed into his hands his voice sore from screaming, “Why didn't I open your present?” It was barely a whisper but it didn't matter, this question was one Harry had asked himself every day.

He hated the voices and he hated Bolt at the moment, Merlin that horse could kick.

“It's better like this Bolt, you wouldn't understand” Bolt kicked him again. Harry sighed but closed his eyes. This was all he deserved, cold and dark nights.

In the end his aunt and uncle were right, he was nothing more than a freak. A freak who should have died with his parents.

And how often had he wished that he could have died with them? He was sure he would have been happier dead than he was alive. What had Harry done to deserve such a miserable life full of sadness and death? ‘Exist’ his father voice said, he remembered Snape's worst memory. Harry nodded as another stream of tears fell from his eyes. His biggest crime was existing.

“I am sorry” Harry cried, laying down on the cold floor “I am sorry” Harry apologized to the voices in his head until his eyes were to heavy and he fell asleep.

“Where is that damned boy?” Aunt Petunia screeched. Harry was hiding in the kitchen cupboard after having burned the bacon.

“What did he do now?” Uncle Vernon asked his face red with anger. Aunt Petunia showed him the black bacon. “BOY!” Vernon yelled his fat face purple and Harry shivered. “He should have died with his parents! His kind doesn't deserve to live”

Aunt Petunia opened her mouth to argue but decided to nod in agreement instead. They were freaks. Harry shivered again for fear of what his uncle and aunt would do to him, this time the pot next to him shook as well. “There you are!” Aunt Petunia yelled and opened the cupboard door and turned pale immediately “STOP THAT YOU FREAK!”

“I am not doing anything” Harry whispered and tried to hide even further back, but aunt Petunia’s claw like fingers had already grabbed him by the shoulder. Her long green fingernails digging inside his skin.

The pots and pans shook violently now, uncle Vernon grabbed him and shook Harry angrily, he opened the cupboard under the stairs, Harry's bedroom, and threw the small boy inside. “No FOOD today Boy!”

“I am sorry” Harry screamed at the closed door, he had no idea what he was apologizing for but he was hungry and he wanted food, but all he heard was the clicking of the lock which meant that Harry couldn't do anything, but wait.

Harry awoke to an angry stomach, he didn't know what time it was. There was no clock here and Harry kinda liked living where time didn't exist. Harry stared at the ceiling unable and unwilling to move, his body ached because he slept on the hard floor but Harry didn't care, he wouldn't sleep in Sirius old bed.

Harry wished for some soup and got some cold can of soup, which reminded him of aunt Petunia. He decided to skip potions and charms today, what was the point of learning when he should be training to defeat Voldemort instead.

Harry spend his time making plans, he couldn't die yet, he had to defeat Voldemort first. Making sure he was never born would led to Neville becoming the boy who lived and frankly Harry didn't wish this life on anyone, not even Draco Malfoy. His only option was to defeat Voldemort again and with that safe his family and friends.

Harry decided to go back to his room, he couldn't stand being here any longer. Isolated from the outside world and still so close to Sirius.

It was 2 am when Harry entered the boys room, silently he creeped into his bed and closed his curtains. He starred at the ceiling of his bed, and listened to the snoring of his father next to him. 4 hours later Harry was awoken to the sound of two boys wrestling on the floor, Peter cheering and Ron laughing.

“Morning Harry” Ron said happily when Harry's head peaked out of his curtains to watch the show as well.

“Morning Love, 10 galleons that I could beat James?” Sirius said laughing when James punched him in the guts.

Harry starred sadly at Sirius, he could see nothing else but Sirius falling through the veil, and James screaming at Lily to take Harry. Why did everyone always tried to save him. People would still be alive if they just left Harry to die. People were better off far away from him. Because everything Harry loved ends up dead. Harry stood quickly and went to the shower.

It was selfish of Harry to stay away as far as possible from the people he loved but Harry couldn't handle anymore death, he couldn't handle losing anymore people.

Sirius and James were still rolling around on the floor when Harry came back from the shower, “Harry, I bet I could defeat you” Peter said his eyes shining with hope. Sirius ears peaked up and he glared at Peter, who was oblivious to it. James used the opportunity and threw himself on Sirius, he was on top of Sirius pinning him down and he had a grin on his lips.

“How does it feel at the bottom?” James asked grinning. Sirius huffed, he kneed James in the thighs and threw the other boy around so that their position were changed.

“I wouldn't know Potter, I top” Sirius smirked, James struggled a bit but surrendered in the end which made Sirius smirk turn into a wide grin.

Harry took his bag and without another word left the room. They were better of without him.

Harry stood in front of Defense against the dark arts class room, he had missed breakfast and his stomach wasn't too happy with that, but he couldn't sit with them pretending that he hadn't caused their death.

If he was never born, Voldemort wouldn't have targeted his parents because of a stupid prophecy, Remus wouldn't have died if he would have sacrificed himself sooner, Sirius death could have been avoided if Harry had opened his gift sooner. And even wormtail could have survived if he hadn't hesitated and just killed Harry.

Even though Harry couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for the last one, he might like peter from this time but Wormtail had betrayed his parents, tricked Sirius and hid as a rat for twelve years waiting for an opportunity to give Harry to the dark lord.

Their Professor against the dark arts was utterly useless. He actually had the nerve to teach them things from the second and third year.

The door opened and the few students who had already arrived went in. Professor Busuhr was standing in front of a cupboard which shook harshly. The marauders went in last with Ron and Hermione behind them, as they saw Harry they hurried to him.

“You weren't at breakfast” Hermione stated the obvious and Harry only shook his head, ignoring his grumbling belly.

“Good morning class,” Professor Busuhr began “lets explore your biggest fear” bogart Harry groaned inwardly, that was third year material. “You with the red hair go first” both Ron and Lily stepped forward. “Ladies first” Professor Busuhr said and ushered Ron back. “Everyone knows how to defeat a bogart?” He asked and the class erupted in loud yes, of course, and Harry was sure he heard Sirius say unlike you, we do.

Without further ado he opened the cupboard and Harry watched as Lily stood before her biggest fear, wand in her hand and the spell ready on the lips. The bogart took the form of an inferi woman and man Harry had never seen, but he was sure that those were his grandparents, “Riddikulus” Lily shouted and both inferis turned into mummies and tripped on their bandages.

James was next and before him stood Lily, “I could never love you, Potter!”

James frowned at Lily before smiling slightly, “I already faced that fear” he smirked, “Lily Evans, one day I will make you mine” he said to the real Lily who still gaped at the bogart her. “Riddikulus” Lily's face turned into Snape. Severus Snape with Long red greasy hair and wearing Lily's school clothing. “That's even scarier!” James shrieked and Harry laughed. It was a raspy laugh caused by his screams the previous night, but Harry couldn't stop laughing. He didn't know what was funnier, Lily's horrified face looking at Snape in her clothing, James shriek and the distasteful look on his face or the bogart Snape himself.

Harry shut up immediately as he remembered Neville’s bogart and Professor Lupin. Harry sighed and looked down on the floor.

Sirius was next, his bogart was his brother with the dark mark, and Harry's heart broke into a million pieces. Sirius had died not knowing what his brother had done, he had to change that.   
Remus bogart was still the full moon which he vanished immediately and Peters Bogart was his corpse. That didn't surprise Harry at all, the boy had done anything in order not to die.

The trio were the last in line, Harry found out that most Bogarts were Inferis. Hermione whispered that Voldemort likes to kill a family member make them into an inferi and have it kill the rest of the family, hence why people fear it so much.

Hermione went first, she expected Professor McGonagall telling her she failed all of her subjects, none of the trio had anticipated that their fears may have changed since third year, since the war.

Hermiones bogart had changed into Ron and Harry dead on the floor.

“No!” She cried and Ron had stepped in front of her thinking his bogart was still a spider, it was Hermione dead on the floor covered in scars and the word mudblood. Harry threw up a little in his mouth.

A pale Ron and a crying Hermione hid behind him, Hermione grabbing his and Ron's arm as if to make sure both were still alive and Ron breathed heavy and fast still starring at Hermione laying dead on the floor.

The trio had faced so much together, Harry didn't blame them for being in shock seeing them dead on the floor, it could have happened. They were lucky they hadn't died when they fought death eaters and Voldemort. Hermione could have been killed by Bellatrix, both of them could have died if Neville hadn't killed Nagini. Harry could have died many times, or he could have stayed dead.

Harry stepped forward quickly so that the bogart would change and he hoped to see a dementor. For the first time he really wished to see a dementor.

The bogart changed and in front of him stood old azkaban Sirius “It was your fault!” Harrys wand fell to the ground. He hadn't expected this, he had expected Ron and Hermione dead on the floor, and he felt slightly guilty that it wasn't his biggest fear.

He looked at Sirius and forwarded his hand to the old man, “I know” whispered Harry “I am sorry” he tried to move closer to the man he missed so much, but the man sneered at him.

“I hate you” Harry froze to the ground.

The image changed to the Weasleys, “It's your fault my brother died” said bogart Ron, while the others glared at him. The bogart changed into Tonks with purple hair just as she looked when he had last seen her, Harry still stood in front of his bogart, he could hear the students behind him telling him it's only his fear, to take the wand and fight it, but Harry saw Tonks, he stepped a step closer.

“I am sorry Tonks” he whispered.

“You should have never been born” Harrys knees shook and he was sure he would fall to the ground any moment. The marauders yelled behind him and he heard the professor say to not interfere.

Hermione stood in front of him showing him her scar “I only got it because I am your friend” Harry gave a small nod. He could still hear Hermione crying and Ron's heavy breathing. He was bleeding on his arm were Hermione dug her fingernails in his skin, no doubt both just went back to Voldemorts attack and Horcrux hunt. No doubt both were battling their demons at this moment.   
He felt someone grab him by the hand and pulled him away from the bogart. Lily took care of the crying Hermione who still held on tight to her boyfriend.

“20 points from Gryffindor for interfering, Mr. Black”

“Take 50, I don't care” He turned to Harry “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Harry asked eyes still fixated at his bogart, James took action and stood in front of the Bogart so it would change to Lily, an angry Lily but Lily nonetheless. “Yeah I’m fine” Harry replied, took his offered wand from Remus, grabbed his bag and went out of the class, but before he could leave the professor called after him.

“Class isn't over yet mr. Granger, you can't just leave”

“Yeah? Watch me” and with that Harry went out of the room.

Harry run and run until he crashed into a wall.

“Hello there” The wall said and Harry looked up his eyes red and his face tear stained. “You look like you could need some tea” Hagrid said and pulled Harry with him to his hut.

“So what got you so troubled?” Hagrid asked after 15 minutes of silently sipping their tea.

Harry looked down “Bogart”.

“Nasty creatures those” Hagrid said, “don't worry even the most powerful wizard has trouble with those.” Harry remembered Molly breaking down when she saw her family dead on the floor.

“They show you, your biggest fear not everyone can face that, some fears are different. Some fear the death of the loved ones while others might fear an object.” Harry nodded, he used to fear, fear itself. What happened?!

“My Bogart, it changed” Harry whispered.

“That Happens, especially in this time, with the war going on” Hagrid stood up and got some cookies out of the oven. Harry with the mandrake leaf still in his mouth knew he couldn't take it. So he continued to sip his bitter tea.

Harry felt safe here with Hagrid, here was no death no regret. This man had brought him to the dursleys on Sirius motorbike, he had shown him the wizarding world, had shown him magical creatures, had given him his first picture of his parents, of Sirius and Remus, this man had carried his body back to Hogwarts. Harry smiled a sincerely smile.

He and Hagrid talked about magical creatures, about thestral and Hippogriffs. “Beautiful but misunderstood creatures” Hagrid said taking a sip of his glass that didn't have anymore tea in it. Harry could smell the fire whiskey from his opposite seat.

“Hagrid?”

“Har-ry?”

“Do you have some soup?” It was dinner time and Harry was hungry but he really didn't want to go back yet.

“Oh of course,” Hagrid stood up and started cooking.

“You really don't have to”

“It's a family's recipe, you will love it” Harry doubted that.

Harry saw Hagrid emptying the fire whiskey into the soup and really considered just going to the great hall, but he didn't want to hurt Hagrid’s feelings.

“Eat up” Hagrid said proudly and Harry dug in, it wasn't nearly as bad as he had thought it would be. Bad nonetheless but eatable.

After Harry's second bowl of soup he felt kinda dizzy and he told himself to never again eat offered food at Hagrid’s, tea was more than fine but not more than that.

10 minutes before curfew Harry hurried back to the Gryffindor tower.

“Harry” Hermione threw herself at her best friend as he stepped inside.  
“Did you drink ?!” She looked him over and he shook his head. Her head returned to the crook of his neck. “You know that wasn’t true right, it wasn't your fault” she whispered into his neck, Harry felt her tears running down on him and he patted her back.

“Mate, I would never think that” Said Ron before throwing himself on Harry and Hermione as well.

This was why he was fighting the dark lord, Harry reminded himself, after all is over they could be happy. This time there was no Horcrux, he had no idea what Voldemort was up to, nor did he know if he would survive. But it was worth the fight, these two people were worth the risk of dying. But Harry couldn't stand watching them risk their lives, no, Harry couldn't watch them die as well.

Harry pushed his friends away gently and went up the stairs, Ron and Hermione followed him closely, “I’m knackered” he said without turning around. “I’m going to bed”

“Harry?” Hermione whispered, Harry turned his head a little to show he was listening but not enough to look at her, “Don't listen to your bogart okay?” Harry sighed and went in to his room.

It was hard not to listen to his bogart when he already knew it was the truth. He went to his bed and closed his curtain.

Next morning Ron woke him up next to him stood Hermione already ready to go. “I won't let you skip any more meals” Hermione said stubbornly and ignored the shrieks of the other boys in the room who stood there in boxers or in their towel.

“Granger!” Sirius screamed “Come join me” he said suggestively and Hermione rolled her eyes.

Harry stood up and went to shower. Ignoring those around him the best he could. He would defeat Voldemort, alone, he couldn't be responsible for anymore death especially not the death of Hermione and Ron, Harry was sure living without those two wasn't possible.

After a short shower he went out grabbed his bag and left for the great hall, Hermione and Ron following him close behind.

As Harry entered he could feel the eyes of the students on him, they were starring at him no doubt the bogart story had gone viral.

Harry sat down and began drinking his pumpkin juice. “You okay mate?” Ron asked eating porridge.

“Never better” Harry exclaimed with fake enthusiasm.

“Harry I know what your thinking” Hermione said “it won't happen”

“Oh?”

“We won't let you fight him alone” Ron shook his head next to Hermione looking as if Harry had grown another head.

“Yes you will”

“No we won't Harry” Ron sighed. “Mate, you can't stop us from joining you”

“Besides Harry, you need us” Hermione pointed out.

“I will get you killed” He whispered angrily, “This isn't a conversation for the breakfast table” he stood up and went to class.

For the next two weeks Harry ignored everyone. His mother, his father, Sirius, Remus & especially Ron and Hermione. He even ignored the Professors, he used his time in class to think about a plan to defeat the most powerful dark lord. Every time anyone tried to talk to him he simply stopped what he was doing and went away.

It was better this way.

On Mondays Harry spent Potions next to Snape, who smirked and an angry Sirius the whole class over, charms he spend alone hexing the chair away every time someone tried to sit next to him.

Tuesdays he spent defense against the dark arts alone, and paired up with a random Ravenclaw for ancient runes.

Wednesdays he sat next to the Hufflepuffs in their lesson care for magical creature and spent Transfiguration alone.

Thursdays was astronomy day so hurried up to get a place next to anyone beside the marauders, Lily and Hermione and Ron.

On Friday for their first lesson Herbology with the Hufflepuffs, he spent it mostly among the badgers. And History of Magic he spent next to Snape, who complained when Harry fell asleep. Harry ignored him as well.

After a while the Gryffindors got the hint that Harry didn't want to be bothered and they left him alone, his free time Harry spend with Hagrid mainly siting there and drinking tea, he enjoyed the mans company, he managed to give Harry comfort and safety. It was a different kind of safety Sirius could give him. But Harry took what he could.

On the weekends Harry had Quidditch Practice and the rest he spent in the library doing research or his homework. He went to practice on Saturdays and James kept on pushing him, urging him to fly faster, to try is wronsky feint a little bit closer to the ground, Harry was knackered after every practice, and James made him even practice on Sundays. But Harry didn't mind if he was honest, Sundays it would be only him and James, and Harry enjoyed it they would fly around, or race, or see who could catch the snitch the fastest. Harry was glad that he always won at catching the snitch first.

James had a nice body, but it wasn't a Seeker body, Harry was much smaller and skinnier and his reflexes a touch faster, his body was perfectly built for being a seeker.

Sometimes Harry went for a fly during lunch or dinner, to free his head but since he caught Sirius snogging the Ravenclaw Seeker in the Broom closet, he never went flying apart from Quidditch again.

That wasn't the first time he had seen the Quidditch Beater with another boy, it was always someone different and he didn't really seem to have a type. Some were young, some prefects, some Quidditch players, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, never Gryffindors or Slytherins.

Harry loathed the boys who were happily snogging HIS Sirius. It hurt seeing Sirius with them, it hurt not being called Harry Love any more. It hurt to even imagine that Sirius called the other boys that now. It hurt as much as seeing Sirius die over and over again. Every time he saw Sirius leaving with a random boy he had picked up, as if he was at the grocery store, a piece of him died, his heart broke into tiny pieces and Harry wasn't sure it could ever be fixed.

He finally realized that he loved Sirius, and not in the way he should love his godfather. It took him a heartbreak to finally see it wasn't just attractions. Sure he was attracted to the tall boy, but he wanted Sirius to kiss him, not the others. He wanted to be Harry Love. But then he remembered that he couldn't have Sirius, he was staying away from them for a reason.

It was September the 27th 1977 tonight or in other words a full moon, and the trio retreated to the room of requirements, so that the marauders could sneak out without worrying that Harry and Ron would discover their secret.

“Where is he?” Remus asked anxiously, it was the full moon, and Harry was nowhere in sight, that could only mean one thing, he was a werewolf and hiding somewhere in the castle.

“I checked the map, nothing. They aren't anywhere on it, they must have left Hogwarts” Sirius said.

“We’ll see you midnight, Moony” James said and Remus left the room to hide in the shrieking shack.

In the room of requirements the tension was high, Harry hadn't talked to Hermione and Ron since two weeks.

“Harry” Harry looked up tiredly, he didn't have any good night sleeps, old memories and nightmares plagued him. “You can't go on like this”

“Why not ?” Harry sighed and dropped his gaze.

“Harry” Hermione tried another time but Harry stubbornly shook his head.

“You don't understand Hermione, no one does”

“Understand what? That you feel guilty? Of course I too feel guilty!” She yelled. “If I had been a little bit more smarter, If I had been just a bit better at dueling like you I could have saved the others.”

“If I hadn't been jealous of you and if I had been stronger, I would have never left you at the camping trip. If I would have been stronger I would have fight Bellatrix and she would have never tortured Hermione, if I was stronger we might have never been caught in the first place.” Ron said

“You aren't the only one with nightmares, Harry. You aren't alone with regret and blame, But. It. Wasn't. Your. Fault.” Hermione said urgently

“I KILLED THEM!” Harry yelled and it felt good to yell all his trouble out, he could feel the weight on the shoulder falling off a little. “IF IT WASN’T FOR ME THEY WOULD HAVE LIVED! ALL OF THEM”

“That's not true, without you many more would have died”

“Dobby tried to SAVE US! And he got killed!” Harry said a tear leaving his eye, “Cedric died because I told him to take the trophy with me together”

“You didn't know it was a portkey, Harry” Hermione sobbed.

“My parents, Sirius all my fault” Harry choked “if I had listened to you, Sirius would have never died, if only I had listened to you” Harry burried his head in his hands the tears falling freely now.

“Harry,” Hermione cried “you were fifteen, you thought you did the right thing you tried to save him”

“It was a mistake, that led to his death, it doesn't matter if I was fifteen or eleven, I was never allowed to be a child” Harry said and Hermione pulled him into a hug.

“No you weren't, but the war is over, we won.”

“And now we are going through it again” Harry looked at Hermione like a lost puppy.

“We will win again”

“How? I am not a Horcrux anymore, I am just Harry”

“You are Harry Potter the most powerful wizard I have ever known” Ron said matter of factly.

“You must have never met Albus Dumbledore.” Harry laughed,

“Dumbledore didn’t defeat Voldemort, you did”

“With your help” Harry sighed, he knew he couldn't do this alone, “I don't think I could handle it if anyone else dies because of me, not if you die because of me”

“No ones gonna die, we will make sure of that” Ron said and looked around, it was Sirius destroyed bedroom. “I like what you did to the room by the way”

Harry laughed.

“Talk to them, Harry. Don't shut them out. They are worried about you, especially Sirius” Hermione said seriously. Harry shook his head.

“No he isn't, I saw him, he's busy snogging in the broom closet”

“Jealous mate?” Ron laughed and Harry sighed, yes. Yes he was jealous. He wanted nothing more than to hex the ravenclaw Seeker into oblivion. But the Quidditch match has to be enough. James was still happy with him as their seeker telling him they would win for sure if he flew like that at the Quidditch match in two weeks.

“You hurt him Harry”

“What? When? I didn't do anything!” Harry defended himself.

“You ignored him, you avoided him, every time he tried to come to you or talk to you, you left.” She explained.

“I couldn't face him, I killed him Hermione, and now I laugh with him, hug him and pretend nothing happened? I see him dying every time he looks at me.” Harry groaned.

“It wasn't your fault, it's Voldemort’s fault. He was the one who tricked you. Bellatrix was the one who killed him, the ministry was the one who didn't believe you. But we were just kids, we were young and reckless, but we tried our best.”

Harry gave her a nod, and looked at Ron, “I hate your girlfriend sometimes”

“I know it's annoying she is always right” Ron chuckled and Hermione huffed next to them before giving them a wide smile.

“One more week and we should be able to transform into our animagus form” both boys returned her smile.

Harry didn't forget the guilt and blame, but he suppressed it, it may have been his fault but he was here to change that and he hoped in doing that he was forgiven by those he had let down.

The trio slept on Sirius old bed, Ron in the middle Harry to his left and Hermione to his right. It was the best night sleep he had in a long time, besides Ron's snoring and kicking him while he slept, that is.

The next morning the trio went to the great hall, and the Gryffindor table went silent as they saw Harry smiling and laughing with Ron and Hermione.

“Great to have you back” Lily smiled at him.

“I never left” Harry pointed out smiling.

“Well we didn’t really like Zombie you”

“Vatsh a shombee?” Ron asked his mouth full of food.

“I didn't get that” Lily said laughing.

Ron laughed embarrassingly and went red.

“A zombie is the muggle inferi” Harry said to Ron, “only not real.”

Ron nodded and continued eating his breakfast. Harry wasn't a fan of porridge and he couldn't eat toast or bacon because of the mandrake leaf so he decided to just drink his juice and eat later lunch or dinner.

Harry made some sandwiches for the marauders who have all failed to show up, and went up to give it to them. It was Wednesday and they had care of magical creature with the Hufflepuffs.

Harry opened the door and stepped inside, everyone was still asleep and the only thing that could be heard was his father snoring. Harry tiptoed to Sirius bed and put the sandwiches on his night table, he was about to return when Sirius curtain yanked open.

Sirius starred at him and at the sandwiches.

“You weren't at breakfast, erm” Harry began and ran his fingers through his hair “I thought … I thought I bring you something up” Sirius raised his eyebrow. “Look, Sirius I am sorry I’ve been avoiding you”

“Again” Sirius supplied

Harry nodded “I am sorry I avoided you again,” he sighed and searched for the right words “I was acting like an arse” Sirius nodded. “I was in a bad place kinda”

“Tell me about it?” Sirius asked.

“I will, but not here, not now”

Sirius patted his bed and Harry sat down. “After dinner?” Harry sighed and gave Sirius a nod.

“Will you ignore me in the future?” Sirius asked.

“Erm no?” Harry half asked, how was he to know what he would do in the future.

“A bit more convincingly, Love” Sirius shook his head and grabbed a sandwich from the nightstand.

Harry smiled at his nickname and Sirius almost choke on his bread, it's been a while since the boy had looked at him like that. “I promise I won't” Harry said and he meant it.

“Then everything's good and forgiven” Sirius said.

“Oi, what about me, Harry love, I don't get any breakfast?”

“Well I thought you could share?” Harry said and looked at Sirius questionably who only shook his head and grabbed another sandwich “or not” Harry laughed. “Well I need to go we have care of magical creature”

“Stay” Sirius begged, “I tell you everything about dangerous creatures, I even introduce you to my beast” he winked at Harry.

Harry laughed, “I have no intention of meeting something so small” he said and went out of the door.   
James laughter was heard to the common room.

After dinner Sirius dragged Harry to one of the empty classrooms

“Talk”

Harry sat on the table and waited for Sirius to do the same.

“I can't tell you everything, not now at least” Sirius opened his mouth to argue but Harry kept on talking “I will tell you everything someday, today is not the day”

“Fine” Sirius crossed his arms and looked expectantly at Harry. The boy better had a good reason, No one ignored Sirius Black and lived to tell the tale.

“When I was one year old, a man came to our house and tried to kill me” Harry said slowly, “he succeeded killing my parents but he didn't manage to kill me” Harry moved his bangs up so that Sirius could see the curse scar.

Sirius stared at him, he couldn't believe what he heard, this was not at all what he thought Harry's excuse would be, but Harry's expression told him that Harry was telling him nothing but the truth.

Sirius had seen his scar before, along with other scars, he gently touched Harry's lightning scar, he felt Harry shudder under him, “Sorry no one ever touched it before, except for the man who gave me it” Sirius tried to move his hand away but Harry's hand kept him there. Harry held his wrist, leaving Sirius no choice but to keep on stroking gently over the curse scar.

Harry closed his eyes, it felt good, nothing like when Voldemort had touched him there. “No one knows how I survived.” Harry sighed.

“You wish you didn't?” Sirius asked frowning, he pulled his hand away and grabbed Harry's chin up so that the small boy would look at him.

Harry nodded “Since I was 11 I fought this man, together with friends and my parents friends” Harry dropped his gaze. “A lot of people died trying to protect me” a tear rolled down his face.

Harry closed his eyes.

“Hush love” Sirius said pulling the small boy into a hug. “It's not your fault”

“Yes it was”

“No it wasn't Harry” Sirius said and pulled harry tighter into the hug.

“If I had just died, nobody would have died for me” Harry said and pulled himself out of Sirius death grip.

“If the dog hadn't stopped to take a shit, he would have caught the rabbit.” Sirius replied.

“What?” Harry laughed that was one way to see things he mused.

“There will always be a lot of what if’s, Love. You can't change the past, so why overthinking what would have happened if something was done differently? Do you think your friends and family want you to live the rest of your life miserably? They protected you because they love you, repay them by living to your fullest.”

“Would you want me to, if you were them?” Harry questioned.

“I only would want you to be happy” Sirius gently pressed a kiss on his messy hair  
“When I die I would have to thank a lot of people, who died in order to keep you safe” Harry looked at Sirius confused.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?” Sirius starred into emerald green eyes.

“Don't you hate me?” Harry asked in a whisper.

“I could never hate you, Harry” Sirius looked at Harry bewildered

“But you heard the bogart…”

“Harry it wasn't your fault, a bogart is only fear. You fear that people blame you. Do you remember my bogart?” Harry gave him a nod “It was my brother with the dark mark, I hate my family, But I love my brother, I fear that he takes the wrong path, I fear that I will hate him too.” Harry took Sirius hand in his gently. “But our bogart is not a prediction, maybe my brother won't choose wrong yeah?” He took Harry's face in his hands “You understand that right love? It's fear, it doesn't show you the truth. It wasn't your fault”

Harry tried to say it was but he was drowning in grey eyes. Before he could think of what he was doing he pressed his lips on Sirius’.

But before Sirius could return the kiss Harry's lips were already gone, and the young boy looked frightened.

“I am so sorry” Harry said, face turning red.

“Hush dashing, it's okay. You can kiss me again if you like to?” Please Sirius thought, please kiss me again.

“Anyway, where was I?” He scratched his head and cleared his throat awkwardly, Sirius groaned, this boy was confusing, one day he is straight, one day he is flirty, one day he avoids Sirius, and now he kisses him. Merlin. “Right!” Harry exclaimed and Sirius jumped out of his thoughts. “I defeated the man and we went to Hogwarts”

“Great!” Sirius said but his thoughts all on how he could make Harry kiss him again.

 

 

 


	12. A kiss changes everything

Sirius pulled James into his bed and closed his curtains quickly. Harry was still downstairs doing his homework with Lily and Remus, how Harry managers to stay sane around the two of them, he had no idea.

“At least buy me dinner first, I am not that kinda guy” James scoffed.

“Please!” Sirius rolled his eyes “We all know how easy you are”

“Must be talking to a mirror again” Sirius threw his pillow at his best friend.

“Ha Ha, Funny Prongs” then Sirius began to tell James what happened, he told James everything, about the story Harry had told him, every body gesture he made, and of course the peck on his lips that Sirius couldn't call a kiss any longer. He felt guilty for telling James without having asked Harry first, but he told James everything. There was no secret between them, no matter how humiliating or embarrassing they told each other everything.  
“What do you think?” Sirius asked after he finished, James hadn’t interrupted him once.

“He is not a real Granger then, I overheard Hermione talk to Lily telling her that her parents are muggles and dentists, whatever those are”

“I meant the kiss” Sirius interrupted him, he had no clue what dentists were. “You really should stop eavesdropping, no one believes you if you say you ‘overheard’ it” Sirius laughed

James scoffed and punched Sirius upper arm, “I am quite surprised you didn't just leave him after that” Sirius rolled his eyes, he had left a guy one time. One. Time. And James acted like he does it all the time. “Don't you roll your eyes at me, I am just gonna say Arius the Hufflepuff prefect”

“Totally different! Arius didn't want to be just sex, I didn't want to be more! Why shouldn't I leave him after he only wanted to cuddle” Sirius huffed, and crossed his arms. He looked at James as if to suggest that James tell him what he would have done, though he knew James wouldn't have been in such situation, he wanted Lily since third year, the only woman he ever slept with were under the influence of firewhiskey and that didn't happen often, once or twice a year. Mostly possible when there's a Gryffindor party but even then his eyes are only on Lily Evans.

James raised his eyebrow “Now you want to be more?” Sirius thought it over for a while before he found himself nodding, he couldn't see Harry as a quick fling. “The-Boy-who-tamed-SiriusBlack” James let out a low whistle, and chuckled as another pillow hit his face. “Just grab him and kiss him”

“I really should have asked Remus or Peter” Sirius sighed

“Oi! I give great dating advice”

“It's been four years and you still haven't gotten Lily, I doubt I should take your advice if you don't even take your own” James opened and closed his mouth several times before he pouted.

“I get Lily before this year ends” James then said, he had it all planned out and he hadn't pranked Snape once this year, or at least he had done it so silently that Lily didn't know about it. “Back to Harry, do you think they lied about being siblings?”

“Harry and Hermione can't be siblings, why would Harry's parents be dead and Hermione's s be dentists? Besides that, Ron had said our parents thought Hogwarts would be safer, not just his, meaning Hermione's must be still alive, but then again they could have adopted Harry”

“If they adopted Harry then why would they be confused how to answer the twin question from Slughorn?”

“Why would they be confused at all?” Sirius countered with a smirk

“Good point, but why lie?” Sirius shrugged, they would find that out soon enough.

“I have never heard of an wizard family with the name Wazlib” Sirius said after awhile of thinking.

“Could be a half-blood” James suggested “but, Harry's bogart irritates me, that man looked like you Pads” Sirius didn't know if he should be offended or not by this. That man had looked terrible and in Azkaban clothes nonetheless, matted long hair and skull like face, no thank you he didn't wanted to look like that.

“Maybe that's why Ron said Harry had the breakdown because he was close to me?” Sirius offered “but I can't see the resemblance to be honest” James laughed, it had been scary seeing that man, his only thought was to grab Sirius and never let him go, he never wanted to see Sirius looking like that. Like an inferi but worse. He shuddered, he couldn't imagine Sirius in Azkaban the worse place on earth, Sirius didn't belong there.

“Yeah, another odd thing is that they know the castle far better than they should, not once did they ask for direction”

“And they seem to know secret passageways out of the castle” Sirius nodded, they had vanished from their map two times already, sure they could have been in the forest but why would they?

Both boys stayed up late discussing theories and making plans but when morning came none were any wiser of what to think and how to proceed, but they decided to let Remus and Peter know about their ‘list’ and now it was operation ‘keep a close eye on the odd three’.

Until history of magic everything had been fine, Sirius had been laughing and flirting with Harry, had been hugging the small boy and Harry had looked happier than ever. But all that changed when they entered the classroom.

The Gryffindors were used to it by now, in class Harry just wouldn't sit next to them, sure they thought now that he was back and had made up with Sirius that would change and Harry would return to his seat with them but Harry left to sit next to Snape.

Someone grabbed his wrist and Harry did the only thing he could think of, and in less than a second he had his wand in his hand and a spell ready to leave his lips. “Harry, where are you going?” Harry put his wand away and his heart stopped beating so loud in his chest, he wasn't in any danger it was stupid to think that anyway he chastised himself. There were no Death eaters or Dark Lord out to get him here.

“I always sit next to Snape” Harry reminded him.

“Why?!” Sirius voice was harsh and demanding, Harry frowned why was Sirius acting this way? Harry had sit next to Snape for two weeks already.  
Hermione and Ron stopped walking and turned around to observe the scene in front of them, they gave Harry a quick look but Harry shook his head.

“Because he's my friend” Harry said simply and slowly, and tried to pull his hand from Sirius who looked as if Harry had just punched him in the guts.

“He is a death eater in the making Granger!” Harry was taking aback, he had never heard Sirius calling him that, and never had Sirius spoken to him in that voice, a voice so sharp and harsh it could cut through steel. Harry pulled even harder to get out of Sirius Death grip but Sirius didn't even seem to notice his struggle.

“Let go!” Harry then said, he looked at his father who was standing there overlooking the scene, as if something like this happened all the time, and maybe it did, Harry hadn't really had normal school years.

“Fine” Sirius pulled him one more time closer and hissed “Go cuddle with your death eater then” Sirius let go and Harry flinched back. Unable to look any longer into the Black glare. If looks could kill Harry was sure he would have died right there.

Hermione glared at Sirius when he passed them by and wanted to go to Harry but Harry was already moving to his seat next to Snape. Hermione and Ron looked over worriedly but Harry just smiled at them to ease their nerves, he had no idea what Sirius problem was, if he had something against Harry sitting here then why not say so before?

Snape didn't even try to hide his smirk, 1:1 he thought, Sirius might have cursed him the last time he had kissed Harry's hand but now Harry had chosen him over Sirius, and boy did the Black heir look furious. He should get two points for that he mused. “I see you are able to speak again, I must say I am rather disappointed, I had a great time with your mouth shut”

“Sorry to ruin your day” Harry rolled his eyes, and rubbed his wrist, Sirius had left a red mark, it was nothing compared to his endless scars and cuts on his body but Sirius should really try to control his strength this was the second time in a month he had a mark on his body because of Sirius.

“Forgiven” Snape said and Harry could see his lip twitch upwards. “Since when exactly are we friends, Granger?” The way he said Granger and the way Sirius had was so different, he could hear from Snape the mock sneer, but Sirius had actually sneered his name, or Hermione's name. The only time he had seen Sirius angry was when he was faced with Snape.

“Since I decided so 5 minutes ago, Snape”

“I had thought it took two people for a friendship Gryffindor”

“I believe you are correct Severus” Harry smiled, and Snape looked deeply into green eyes, yeah being friends wasn't so bad, but he didn't wanted to share the boy with Black, he had to keep making Black jealous then.

Professor Binns entered and talked about Salem and muggles burning witches.

“Why only witches? Why not wizards?” Harry asked Snape

“Close your mouth and listen and maybe that little brain of yours will come to use and you will understand it yourself”

“You could just answer my question” Harry grumbled and Snape sighed, how could he listen to professor Binns while talking, he rather Harry slept again.

“Muggles believed that there were only witches, they didn't believe that there were any wizards” Harry nodded to show he understood

“But why didn't the witches just use spells to get free?”

“Because” Snape groaned “sometimes muggles burned other muggles, thinking they were witches” Harry gasped “and mostly because they tied there hands together and the witches didn't have there wand ready not everyone could do wandless magic” Harry opened his mouth to ask another question when Snape continued “before you even ask, others couldn't help, if they had the muggles would have come for them next, witches were scarred at that time, there is a reason why most purebloods don't like muggles, this is one of them”

“They could just obliviate the person who saw them” Harry pointed out and Snape shook his head

“You can't obliviate a whole town, the reason why muggles are dangerous is that they attack in large numbers” Snape looked back to Professor Binns who talked as if he had been their at that time “Now do kindly shut up, not everyone is as fond of your voice as you apparently seem to be” Harry rolled his eyes and placed his head on his arm, he looked and listened to Professor Binns talking about Muggles drowning witches and other muggles they thought were witches and frowned, muggles are worse than Voldemort. Then he groaned for even thinking that.

Sirius eyes never left Harry and Sniveluss, what was Harry playing at? It was Harry who had made the first step and then turned back another two. He groaned and placed his head in his hands. What was it that Harry wanted from him? Harry kissed him and now sat next to his enemy? Sirius had told Harry how much they hated each other so why? Friends! As if, Sirius had watched them, they never had communicated before, today was the first time Harry even really talked to Snape. So why?! Was this a Test? This was exactly why Sirius never wanted a relationship, it was confusing. James had been silent the whole time, fine maybe he had overreacted a tiny bit, and he shouldn't have grabbed the boy like that, but really only the Black temper was to blame for that. He never said he was a saint.

James run his finger through his hair and glared at Sniveluss for good measure, that bastard kept on smirking in Sirius direction. James knew exactly how Sirius felt, he felt that way with Lily and Snape. He needed to speak to Harry about this, as Quidditch Captain he couldn't have it that his teammates had a fight, they played Slytherin in two days! And he would not accept it, if they lost because their seeker couldn't focus or because their beater ‘accidentally’ hit their seeker. “We’ll kill Sniveluss later, for now can you make up with Harry? At least until after the game? Then feel free to yell at the boy some more” He was rewarded with the famous Black glare, but he hadn't expected anything otherwise “Great, thank you!”

The whole day long the tension between those two were thick, that some felt they would suffocate in their presence. In the common room after just another side comment from Sirius, about Harry and death eaters, Harry finally exploded “I have no clue what your problem is!” He yelled.

“Don't you now” Sirius replied sarcastically, how stupid could Harry be to not understand him he thought bitterly, and looked In angry Emerald eyes who seemed to shine even more than they usually do.

“Just because he is in Slytherin doesn't mean he is a Death eater!” As soon as it left his mouth he knew it was a lie, Snape did join Voldemort and only became a spy to save his mother, not him or his father but only his mother, he practically told Voldemort to kill him and his father as long as Lily wasn't harmed. It was all very confusing and he didn't know either why he wanted to defend Snape, that man had been nothing but mean to him, but that man had tried to save his mom and had saved his life as well, shouldn't Harry be at least nice?

“Best friends already yea?” Sirius stood up from the sofa, next to him James stiffened and looked worriedly, this did not go well. Sirius went over to Harry’s seat and knocked him on the forehead as if it was a door “You’ve been here for a month and you act like you know everything about this school”

Harry shoved Sirius hand away and stood as well, he poked Sirius chest “I never told you to become his friend! What's your bloody problem!” He demanded to know.

The people in the common room seemed to have forgotten how to breath or Sirius simply couldn't hear anything over his and Harry's own loud breathing. No one else made a sound but he could feel every pair of eyes was one the two, and he could swear he saw some first years hiding behind the older students.

Remus watched it with great amusement he had seen this too often, Lily and James fighting over Snape, out of the corner of his eyes he saw Ron and Hermione drawing their wands ready to aid their friend. Remus chuckled a little, Sirius would never hex Harry. He was even gentle compared to his normal self, he knew for a fact that if that would have been James Sirius was angry at, and angry he was, The knock on the head wouldn't have been as gentle at that. Sirius wasn't vicious or liked to beat up everything but he did have a nasty temper and was a Gryffindor who tended to hit first and ask questions later. Remus more applauded Sirius for keeping his temper in check and actually talking to Harry instead of cursing him.

“You are my bloody problem! I forbid you to hang out with him” Sirius hissed and James groaned and threw his head in his hands, Hermione looked sadly at Sirius and Remus still couldn't hide his amusement. Sure he felt bad for his best friend, but really this was Sirius Black, master of flings, and here he was jealous of Snape, forbidding his crush to hang out with the slime ball. If anyone had told him that Sirius would fall in love this year Remus would have checked that person into st. Mungos.

“Forbid me?” Harry gave him a mock laugh and Sirius flinched a step back “You shag half Hogwarts and that’s okay but you won't ALLOW me a friend?!” He poked Sirius one more time at his chest right above his heart before he hissed “I am not yours, Black!” With that he left the common room, Ron hot on his heels. Hermione lingered for a bit stroke Sirius arm gently before leaving as well.

Sirius fell back on the sofa and glared at everyone who was staring at him, suddenly the whole room busted in panic everyone acting as if they hadn't stopped talking or doing their stuff in order to watch the drama, some even stared at the ceiling as if they had never seen a plain old white ceiling before.

Remus gave him a slow clap “Thank you for demonstrating how NOT to talk to your crush” Peter snickered at Remus and looked expectantly at James.

“Maybe next time you forbid him to look at anyone but you” James laughed and clapped his mate on his shoulders, his hand lingering for a few second before he shoved his friend a little.

“I messed up didn't i?” Sirius said weakly

“One would think you knew how to talk to blokes, having shagged half Hogwarts” Peter said and Sirius only mumbled about Padfoot eating rats for dinner.

“Fix this” James said his voice leaving no room for further arguments. “I will not lose against Slytherin because you think Sniveluss stole your boy”

“There is nothing to fix” Sirius said and retreated to the boys room.

“Sirius!” James glared and went after him “I will not lose Quidditch because of your pride!” Remus shook his head and went after the two as well, who doesn't like a little bit of drama.

“Harry” Hermione said for what seemed the hundredths time.

“Hmm”

“What happened between you?”

“You saw it didn't you? I had thought you stood right behind me”

“What happened before, Sirius had never reacted that way before when you sit next to Snape” She clarified

“Think he is jealous?” Ron asked and while Harry snorted Hermione nodded

“That's absurd Shaggy, why would Sirius be jealous of me?”

“Not of you! Of snape” She groaned, Harry was rather oblivious and slow sometimes.

“He wasn’t jealous before that” Harry pointed out.

“Yes, so what happened after dinner when Sirius dragged you away?”

Ron was all ears at that. Harry sat down in front of the lake, should he tell them? How would they react to it? Would Ron be disgusted by him? Would Hermione hate him? The Dursleys said it was wrong they hated gays even more than magic if that was possible.

“Erm, imayhavekissedhim” Harry hurriedly said and it felt nice to let it out. He closed his eyes fearing his best friends reaction.

“What?” Ron asked confused and as he opened his eyes even Hermione looked as if she had no clue.

“I” he began slowly “kissed” he looked his friends in the eyes “him”

“But he is your godfather?” Ron said

“20 points to Gryffindor for stating the obvious”

“Harry I am so happy for you!” Hermione yelled and threw herself at him.

He looked awkwardly at Ron who couldn't help but snicker, “So you are gay?”

“Well, yeah?” He questioned back, he had no idea, his mom had explained that he could be bisexual as well. But he had always looked for girls who were more masculine then feminine. Cho and Ginny were both into Quidditch, both had a slim figure with almost no curves, both could defend theirselves. So he had no idea, he had never thought about other girls or other boys for that matter, maybe he was only gay for Sirius? He never gave it much thought, he had no time really thinking about girls and boys in his time, his thoughts were occupied with a dark wizard he had to defeat.

“So” Ron began “have you ever checked me out?” Harry snorted “Hey I am a fairly attractive young bloke, do I need to worry you had inappropriate thoughts about me while I changed or we shared a bed?”

“You are like a Brother to me Ron, I never thought of you in that way” Harry assured him through his laughter.

“I don't know if I should be offended or glad that you didn't” Ron laughed.

“Honestly you two!” Hermione pulled the two of them to another hug.

“So you and Sirius eh? Ya I can see that” Ron said after a while and Harry shook his head.

“I am not a fling, I don't know why I kissed him, if you could call it a kiss even, it was just a peck on his lips and after that we continued as if nothing happened”

“But you like him?” Ron asked

“Yeah, I do, I think I could love him” He groaned.

“I’m sure you wouldn't be just a fling” Hermione assured him but Harry had seen the way Sirius went through boys, had seen him snogging boys in cupboards and probably did more than that too. No he would not become one of that.

“Doesn't matter, I won't start anything”

“Why not mate? He makes you happy anyone can see that”

“It would be based on a lie, as long as I can't tell him who I really am, I couldn't bring myself to be with him” Harry explained “He would hate me if I never told him I was his best friends son”

“We can't tell them, Harry!” Hermione yelled.

“I know that Shaggy” Harry said tiredly, “but maybe I could tell Sirius a little, he already knows that a madman killed my parents.” Harry pointed out.

“Harry, you know we are gonna go back to our time eventually right?” Hermione asked shyly, she really wanted him to be happy, but if they got too serious Harry would be left heartbroken. Harry gave her a small nod.

“How even are we gonna go back home?” Ron asked timidly and no one answered. The trio sat silently in front of the lake watching the giant squid’s tentacles splashing water at the merpeople.

James was annoyed, Sirius had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of fire whiskey and Harry has still not returned to the common room, this did not look like a good start to the game. He pulled out his map and searched for the boy, if the boy even dared to vanish again and not make it to practice tomorrow he would hit him and Sirius repeatedly with the bludger. He pointed his wand at the map “I solemnly swear I am up to no good” He loved this map.

‘Harry, Harry, Harry’ He thought to himself as he searched for the boy. ‘Ah there at the lake next to Hermione Granger’ The map fell to the ground. That couldn't be! He picked up the map with shaking hands and no doubt next to Hermione Granger was Ronald Weasley? and Harry… Harry Potter.

He shook himself, he could confront the boy now, let Sirius know or in two days after the Quidditch match? If he told them now, they could concentrate even less, they needed the upper hand tomorrow, Slytherins were known for cheating. He had to wait, in the meantime he would owl his parents, maybe he had a cousin? He was sure he did not. This would explain why Harry looked so much like him, was he his brother? Impossible, not only were the two the same age but that would imply one of his parent had an affair and that just wasn't possible.

The dot moved and James saw how Harry Potter went through the castle made a stop by the kitchens and then returned to the Gryffindor tower. “Mischief managed” he said and hurried the map under his pillow.

“Harry” James said as the boy entered the room “Quidditch practice tomorrow” James reminded the small boy who looked far too tired.

“Still the same time right?” Harry asked as he went to the bathroom door but it was locked, quickly he climbed into his bed before glancing to Sirius bed which was empty.

“Yep still the same” James wanted nothing more than ask Harry who he really was but the words died on his tongue before leaving his lips. “Are you ready for the game on Sunday?” He asked instead.

“I think so, I’m a bit nervous” oh no that wasn't good, James panicked on the inside but outside he was calm and collected.

“You’ll be fine, but Harry, can I ask you for something?” Harry gave him a nod and cocked his head to the side in a confused manner. “Could you stop fighting with Sirius till the game?” Harry huffed

“I didn't start a fight!”

James raised an eyebrow “Well you kissed him yesterday and today went to his enemy, what did you expect him to do? Smile and sing happy songs?” James scoffed.

“I won't be one of his flings!” Harry replied icily he couldn't believe he was having this conversation with his father. “Besides I don’t get why he makes such a big deal out of me being friends with Snape, just because you guys don't like him.”

“Try seeing it from his point of view” James tried to reason, this was not going according plan, he wanted to calm harry down not make him angrier. “He likes you, you kissed or pecked him or whatever” He saw Harry turn red “and the next day you act as if nothing happened”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, trying and failing to find his words. Then he shook his head sadly and looked his father in the eyes, “I won't be one of them” He turned around and closed his curtain.

“You are not” James whispered and pulled back the map, yep there he was, Harry Potter next to James Potter. He pulled out a piece of parchment and scribbled down a letter to his parents, he threw over his cloak and went to the owlery, this could not wait until tomorrow, he just hoped for a quick reply. He passed by a snogging Hermione and Ron and knew why Harry had come to the boys room alone. Ron was rather busy checking out Hermione’s teeth. The pair was so busy they didn't notice the portrait door opening on its own.

Ron Weasley, Weasley? He knew that name. He was sure he did.

Next day Quidditch practice was just like James had predicted, it was hell. Harry was good he caught the snitch but he was better in previous training session, he didn't focus! And just like he had thought Sirius had accidentally thrown the bludger into Harry's direction. Frankly not even James could tell if it was by accident or purpose. “Great practice guys! If we play like that tomorrow we will absolutely win” The team looked at Harry and Sirius before throwing him an unbelievable look. “Sirius, Harry you two stay, the others can go and rest! We have a big day tomorrow” The team flew away and Eva gave Harry a small smile before even she vanished.

“What's up captain?” Sirius asked innocently and Harry rolled his eyes.

“Harry tell Sirius what you told me yesterday!”

“I didn't start a fight” Harry said innocently

“After that!” James groaned

“Snape and I are just friends”

“After that!”

“I won't be one of them”

James looked ready to slap Harry, at this point. “Won't be one of what?”

“I don't see how that's any of Blacks business, Sir” Harry mocked and tried to fly away only to be blocked by James.

“I said stay Harry! As your Quidditch captain I order you two to stay here until you two fixed this. I won't be having any of that tomorrow” Harry glared at his father and even Sirius didn't look happy, but neither made a move or tried to say something.

It began to rain and still James made no move to fly away or at least land so that they could take shelter. “It's raining” Harry said after being wet from head to toe.

“Thank you Harry, I had no idea” James said and Harry mumbled a your welcome. “We can sit here all day long, I don't mind, and don’t you dare to be sick tomorrow” James said, and once again he reminded Harry of Wood. His father was forcing him to stay under the windy rain to tell his godfather that he liked him? Unbelievable.

“Fine! I said I won't be one of his flings! Happy dad?!” The dad comment slipped him, but he didn't even notice he was too annoyed by his father.

James looked at Harry, dad? That couldn't be right? No of course not, he had called Lily mom too once just his type of humor. Probably because of what he had said reminded Harry of what parents would do.

“Who said I want you to be my fling?” Sirius demanded to know.

Harry shrugged “Can we go back now?”

“Answer the question” James said simply

“No one, I saw how you threw yourself at everything that breathes, and I am not nor will I ever be one of them”

“Then why kiss me?” Sirius smirked as he flew closer to Harry.

“Because of reasons I am not willing to share, I am glad that we had this talk and that we fixed this” He said to James and got ready to leave. Sirius following him closely. This time James didn't stop them.

Sirius watched Harry land with such a grace only James could pull off. As soon as he landed next to Harry he grabbed the smaller boy and pushed him against the wall. He couldn’t believe he was going to follow James’ advice. He looked deep into emerald green eyes and at Harry's full lips and pressed his against it. Harry's hands automatically went to Sirius hair while Sirius grabbed his hips to pull him even closer. Sirius took Harry's underlip between his and sucked gently on it, Harry moaned and pulled Sirius by the hair even closer, Sirius smiled against Harrys lips, but as Sirius tongue licked over Harry's lips pleading for entrance, Harry quickly retreated.

Harry stared into Sirius eyes, he had almost forgotten about the mandrake leaf and about not wanting to be one of the many boys who got to have Sirius for the night. “Harry” the tall boy groaned and placed his forehead on Harry's “Believe me when I say you aren't just a fling”

“If you are really serious we need to talk after the match tomorrow, I doubt James would forgive us if we messed up tomorrow”

“Of course I am Sirius” Sirius smirked and pulled Harry even closer. Take that Sniveluss he thought and began to kiss Harry's jaw, his neck and nibble on his ears, Sirius couldn't get enough he could taste sweat and rain on Harry but on Harry's skin it felt like the best combination.

“We should head back” Harry said when his pants seemed to be getting tighter and tighter. Great just lovely.

“Or we could finish what we started” Sirius whispered into his ear and as if to make his statement clear he pulled Harry's hips forward so that their erections touched. Harry escaped a moan but shook his head. He had never done something like this before. Did he really wanted this here? At a wall next to the Quidditch changing rooms? While his body screamed yes his mind screamed no, besides he had to talk to Sirius first, the man had the right to know that he was his godfather. He might change his mind.

Harry pushed Sirius away gently but firm. Sirius looked at Harry with puppies eyes as if Harry had taken away his favourite bone. He tried to cover his problem with his shirt while Sirius snorted. “I could help you with that” Sirius started and grind his knee at Harry's groin.

“Sirius” He groaned “I have never done this before” he stated simply as he removed the other boys knee. “If you only want that you should go back to your Ravenclaws”

“Never? Not even with Ginny?” Sirius spat Ginny's name and Harry only shook his head, too tired to deal with Sirius’ jealousy. “We’ll take it slow then love” he said and kissed Harry's nose. “I meant it, you aren't just a fling.” Then he dragged Harry into the changing rooms. “Take a cold shower I promise not to peak” he said laughing and Harry watched as Sirius stripped himself off of his wet clothes and vanished in one of the shower stalls.

James watched the boys return with a smile. Harry was red either from running or from embarrassment, he thought it was the second.

Sirius threw his arm around Harry and pulled him close, Hermione who was doing homework with Ron and Remus in front of the fireplace squealed in surprise and grinned at them both. Harry tried to break free from Sirius, but Sirius only pulled him closer and smirked at Harry. “Yeah we got it, you are the strongest beater in Hogwarts”

“And don't you forget it, dear” Sirius said smiling, and bopped Harry's nose with his finger.

As they went to dinner Harry talked quietly to Hermione and Ron, they needed to meet at the room of requirements after dinner, both nodded, before they could enter the great hall Sirius pulled Harry to his side, he threw his arm over Harry's shoulder and kissed his ear, though for people bypassing it looked as if Sirius was whispering into his ear. As they went by the Slytherins Sirius couldn't help but smirk at Snape as he pulled Harry closer and whispered inappropriate things into Harry's ear. Harry was red in the face by the time they arrived at the Gryffindor table.

Hermione couldn’t help but snicker at Harry and Sirius, both were just ridiculous, but she soon went into a conversation with Lily about creatures right in the wizarding world, both were disgusted by the way wizards and witches treated creatures and muggles. Hermione told her about S.P.E.W. But Lily told her they had to find another way. House elves liked their work, they didn't want to be freed, but they could at least try to help them find good masters, and make a law to prevent cruelty against creatures. Lily told her that she wants a career in that department to help everyone who couldn't help themselves. Harry listened to them both eagerly, everyone else wisely chose to stay out of their conversation. When two pair of green eyes met each other Lily winked at Harry and Harry turned even redder.

“No soup for you tonight!” James said and shoved Sirius to take the bowl away, Harry held the bowl out of Sirius range. “I need you to eat chicken and some vegetables for tomorrow” Harry shook his head stubbornly.

“Sorry James, but I will eat soup or I won't eat anything” Harry said.

“Why?” Sirius asked, “You haven't eaten anything but soup since 3 wee…” Sirius suddenly looked at Harry as if it was the first time they met.

“Whose owl is that?” Harry asked and was glad that Sirius eyes left his face for a second and he breathed out a shaky breath. Lying was so much harder than he thought.

“Mine” James said proudly and gave his owl some chicken he took the letter and put it in his robe. It paid out to leave near the school, always fast replies.

As the trio stood James stopped them, “You better be heading for the tower and no where else, I want my team to rest now! No more wandering around the halls”

Harry groaned and left with Hermione and Ron towards the tower, they went into the boys room’s bathroom instead, and silenced the room.

“I need to tell Sirius”

“And the others?” Ron asked, he was sure whatever harry told Sirius, Sirius would tell the others.

“I don't know, I am sure Sirius would tell them right?” Ron nodded, “Well then them too”

“Do we tell them everything?” Harry shrugged, did he want to tell them everything? He rather not tell them anything really. But he couldn't be with Sirius and lie to him, he feared that Sirius would hate him too much if he ever finds out. But then what if Sirius hates him if he tells him?

“What if he hates me?” It still rang in his ear how his Sirius bogart had said those three words.

“He won't” Hermione assured but none of the three were sure if they even wanted to tell, it came with cons and pros. The bad side was that Harry's parents might become overprotective and won't let Harry fight, or they would want to join and rather stand in the way, or one of them dies trying to join them and trying to protect Harry. Harry wouldn't survive that. The good side was they had obviously help, they had somewhere to stay for the winter holidays and harry would finally get to know his family, his grandparents and all.

“Are you sure we have to tell them?” Hermione asked frowning, she wasn't too happy about it.

“There is no risk here, we didn't tell them because they might not believe us, but we are changing the future anyway so we could as well tell them.” Harry said

“After the match then?” Both boys nodded

“I’ve been thinking” Harry said, “since Lucius already graduated we need another way to get to him, so why don't we figure out who Lucius likes and we set him up to a blind date sort of while we break into the mansion and search for the diary?”

“That's dangerous!” Hermione gasped and Harry and Ron looked at her with raised eyebrows “Yes, alright! Great plan, how do we find out what kind of woman he likes?”

“We could ask a Slytherin?” Ron suggested “You know polyjuice, like second year”

“We could ask the marauders? They did went to the same school” Harry offered.

“So when do we steal the sword and bird?” Hermione sighed, they might not belong here but that didn't mean they could break every rule there was.

“Friday or Saturday next week, that's when we should have completed the third step, since you are Smaller animals then me, you should be able to sneak in and out while I go in the great hall and try to make a scene”

“As bolt?” Ron asked laughing when Harry nod. “Damn, I would love to see that”

“I show you the memory one day” Harry laughed.

  
Harry was nervous, as nervous as he was at his first Quidditch match. He stood next to his father his mothers broom in his hand as he tried to listen what his father was saying but all he heard was Hermione reminding him not to be hit by bludgers in the face or stomach, as if he had planned to be hit by one anyways. “Lets kick some snake butts” The team cheered and they went out to the Quidditch field were the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuffs cheered them on, he saw is friends, his mother and Peter but no Remus when he pointed it out to Sirius he only laughed and pointed at the cabin were Remus sat next to Professor Mcgonagall holding a microphone.

“And the best team Hogwarts has seen so far has entered the field” Remus voice echoed through the field and Harry smiled as his mother and his friends cheered loudly at that.

“The Slytherins have also entered and both captains shook their hands, you really should wash your hand now Jamie” Harry laughed and shook his head while the Slytherins glared at Remus, he could hear Professor McGonagall screaming Remus name and telling him off.

“Lets introduce the teams first shall we? On the red and best side we have Quidditch Captain and star Chaser Mr. James Potter” James waved his hand and threw a kiss to Lily “Next to him is the Chaser Mrs. Marlene McKinnon” Marlene mock bowed and grinned around. “The last Chaser and one of the newest addition to the team is Mrs. Eva Nostel” Eva looked ready to be swallowed by the earth, “Now let's focus on the beaters!” Remus cheered “The one and only Mr. Sirius Black our star beater who has never missed a target and held a the record for throwing the most Slytherins off of their brooms” there was a loud cheer and Sirius looked much like the pureblood he was standing tall and proud and looking superior to everyone around him “Mr. Marco Lucas the beater who loves to throw Bludgers at everyone” Marco looked rather bored as he throw his and in the air “The best keeper that Hogwarts had seen so far mrs. Rita Lupin , oh come on, don't look like that” Harry had to cover his mouth to not burst out laughing, his Remus had never spoken like that, but then he barely knew Remus and when he did meet it was as his teacher and later as member of the order of the Phoenix. Remus wouldn't be a marauder if he was boring.

“That's just how Remus does things, wait of how he will introduce the snakes” Sirius whispered into his ear

“You should stay at your place" Harry said pointing at the place next to Marco Lucas.

“It's boring there, I’d rather spend my time next you” Sirius winked and James told Sirius to focus on the game.

“The newest addition to our team is the fastest seeker there is, Mr. Harry Granger, you may cheer but you shall not touch he is currently taken” Harry flattened his hair above his scar as he had always done when he was the center of attention “You better watch out Black, this seeker is not to mess with” Harry looked confused at Sirius who moved Harry's head into the Slytherins team direction, in front of him was Regulus Black.

“Now for the Slytherins team, we have as team Quidditch captain and keeper Mulziber, the three Chaser Bulstrode, Rosier and Lestrange. For the beaters we have two new addition the Carrow twins and as seeker we have Mr. Regulus Black!” The Slytherins cheered and Harry shook his head in amusement. He was sure Regulus was the only one getting a little bit respect because he was Sirius little brother.

“That is no way to introduce the other team mr. Lupin!” Mcgonagall huffed.

“My fault professor, I only know their last name and Position”

“You have literally a parchment in front of your eyes where the information is written on.”

“Oh that's what that is” He chuckled. “Up in the air with you” He said as the whistle was blown.

Both teams rose in the air and Harry watched Regulus closely, of course he had known he was a Quidditch player but he has no idea how good the other was and again the nerves were eating him alive. Regulus dark grey eyes met his and Regulus gave him a small nod which Harry returned. May the better seeker win.

Hermione hadn't had such fun since Lovegood commented the game “Is he always like that?” He asked Lily and Peter who nodded, Lily rather sadly and Peter eagerly.

“He shouldn't be this biased” Lily huffed.

“Look how beautiful Potter flys as if he was one with the air” Remus sighed dreamily. “Potter has the Quaffle already and he is headed to the hoops, Black is right behind him ready to protect Potter from any Bludgers” Ron stood up and leaned on the fence “and it went through! 10:0 for GRYFFINDOR” he screamed and the Gryffindors cheered.

“James is really good” Ron commented

“Yeah he is one of the best, only Harry flies as well as him” Lily said and pointed at Harry who was flying around the field his eyes searching for the snitch while Regulus flew close around him.

“The weather is exceptional nice today, the sun his shining, it's not windy and not to cold. It's perfect Quidditch weather if I may say so” behind Remus McGonagall told him to focus on the game and not the weather. “Slytherin is in possession of the Quaffle and one of the chasers is heading to the hoops, watch out Rita”

“Mr. Lupin!”

“Just thought I should send a small warning” Remus said “that's right Slytherin nothing gets past our keeper! Ha! Take that, it's still 10:0 for us.”

“Black is following Granger closely, uh it's really confusing with two Blacks on the field, should we call Sirius Black1 and Regulus Black2? Or rather Sirius is Red and Regulus Green? What do you think Professor?”

“Mr. Lupin this will be the last year you will do the commentary”

“How right you are, this will also be the last year for Potter, Red, McKinnon and Granger. And for some Slytherins, if you would raise your hand real quick because I don't know who” as no one raised there hands “guess none for the Slytherins, could I get a quick applause for our players that will leave after this year” the audience cheered. “If you haven’t payed attention to the game its currently 30:10 for Gryffindor”

“I can't believe McGonagall lets him comment” Hermione shook her head in amusement.

“She wouldn't have” Lily laughed. “No one else wanted the job, Remus loves Quidditch but he didn't make the team so he..”

“But James is the captain” Hermione interrupted

“James is fair, if it's about Quidditch he doesn't see friend or foe, like I said Remus loves Quidditch but he is bad at talking about it” she snickered.

“Mr. Lupin you have to comment what's happening” McGonagall sighed.

“I know McG, but it's so exciting I forgot where I was for a moment, Red hit the bludger and uuugh that must have hurt, but great shot Red, as always! I never expected less of you” Remus clapped. “Oh the Slytherins ask for time out, so there's that.”

Harry flew to James who waved at him, “Don't let Regulus follow you to closely, do the wronski to throw him off” Harry gave him a nod, as he watched the Slytherins Chaser being carried away due to a broken arm. “Nice Padfoot!” James cheered and Sirius grinned.

“Is he going to be alright” James waved away Harry's worry.

“Don't worry about that, your head should only focus on the golden snitch”

“Seems like the Slytherins lost one of their chasers due to Red, and the game continues”

Harry had to admit that Regulus was an excellent flyer and he doubted that Regulus would fall for the wronski, but he still hadn't seen the snitch, he moved away from Regulus and searched around and there it was on the ground flying in zigzag around, he glanced at Regulus who still hadn't seen it, Regulus had the better broom, so he needed to be quick and careful.

“Nice one Nostel, that was the first goal for our newest Chaser, what's that? It seems like Granger has found something, OH the two seekers are racing towards the ground. Knee on knee they fly next to each other, who gets it first Green or Granger? Aaaah the suspense is killing me”

“Don't close your eyes Lupin!”

“Sorry, any moment now two seekers will collide with the ground and BOOM” Remus yelled as Regulus rolled to the ground while harry pulled his broom up, holding the snitch in his hand. He stopped and flew to regulus, to help him up.

“You okay?” He asked timidly

“Fine”

“You are a good Match” Harry grinned and forwarded his hand.

“So are you Granger” He replied curtly and shook the offered hand.

“Well well well, will you look at that, both seekers are shaking hands, but more importantly! 200:40 to GRYFFINDOR!”

“Whoohooo” McGonagall cheered next to him.

Hermione and Ron ran towards Harry as Regulus left with his team, “That was amazing Harry!” Hermione grinned “Did you hear Remus commentary?”

Sirius hugged the boy “I knew you would win, absolutely brilliant” Harry smiled shyly at Sirius and watched as Sirius went to run to Remus to congratulate him on another perfect commentary.

“Only the beginning, I believe only Luna is able to top that” He told Hermione and Ron laughing. James came down and ruffled Harry's head, nothing could have made Harry happier in that moment than seeing his fathers grinning face. He finally had his wish, his father had seen him play and win.

“Nice job Potter” James whispered into Harry's ear and watched as Harry gaped at him, he only ruffled Harrys hair some more “We talk after lunch” Harry nodded dumbly his mouth still open and his eyes wide, how? Was the only question going through Harry's mind.

 

 


	13. Hi Mom & Dad

Lunch was awkward, Harry kept on trying to figure out what to say and what not to say. Should he mention wormtails betrayal? Better not. Hermione and Ron didn't look any better than him. Ron didn't even eat and that said a lot.

Sirius tried to capture him in a conversation, but he couldn't process a word coming out of the boys mouth. Harry looked into Sirius eyes and a horrible thought overcame him. How would Sirius react? Would he say those three words Harry feared the most?

“What's wrong love?” Sirius asked after he got no reaction, “You are pale, do you need to see madame Pomfrei? Aren't you feeling well?” Harry really wasn't feeling well but it was more nerves that made him feel like dying. He shook his head and forced a few words out of his mouth.

“I am always pale” Sirius didn't look convinced but dropped it, he threw a arm around the young mans waist and smiled gently at him.

“Lets go fly later” he told the green eyed boy. “Or we could just hang around the changing rooms” he smirked. Harry's belly twisted into knots, after this Sirius might never want to kiss him again. Maybe he shouldn't tell them? That's pretty selfish, but Harry had always done what others wanted, couldn't he once do something selfish? Sirius obviously wanted him and Salazar Slytherin knew he wanted Sirius. But no, he couldn't be selfish. It wouldn't be fair to Sirius and Harry loved Sirius too much to take his choice away. He had the choice to continue, whatever it was they had going, or to stop it. Harry would respect either decision, still he hoped for the former choice.

“I want to talk to you all about something” Harry said to the marauders, as they gave him a nod and Sirius gave him raised eyebrow which Harry choose to ignore he turned to Lily. “You too, Lily” Lily looked up from her plate an into Harry's green eyes giving him a small nod as well. “Right, whenever you are ready” Harry said and stared at the table unable to look at Sirius or the others any longer.

“Is it about what you said yesterday?” Sirius whispered into his ear. Eyes still fixated on the ground he nodded. “The whole truth?”

“The important parts” Harry rasped. He was way too nervous to talk normally. He felt ill. Sirius looked worriedly at Harry, and pushed his plate away.

“You don't have to tell us, if you don't want to” Sirius said, Harry looked up at him, and forced a small smile out.

“I need to tell you” Harry sighed and pushed Sirius arm away from his waist. Sirius raised a eyebrow. “You could hate me forever if I don't tell you Siri, and I just can't risk that”

“I would never hate you, Love”

“That's what you say now” Harry chuckled without any humor. He faced away from Sirius and looked at Ron and Hermione both trying their best to plaster a smile on their face to give their friend reassurance and strength.

“Alright let's talk” James exclaimed after everyone had finished eating. The trio stood up and the others followed their lead.

They stood in front of an empty wall. The marauders and Lily looked expectantly at Harry who paced in front of the wall. Suddenly a door appeared.

“This is the room of requirements,” Harry explained “we found it in our fifth year”

“You what?” Sirius asked looking at the trio.

“We explain inside” Ron said and ushered them in.

“Is this my room?” Sirius asked looking around, it looked like his room just smashed into pieces except, his bed, and the pictures and the Gryffindor banner which were on the wall with a permanent sticking charm. At Harry's nod he asked “Why is it so destroyed? Why my room?”

“Erm yes, that would have been my fault sorry” Harry whispered but gave no more explanation. Dumbly Sirius and the rest sat down on the king sized bed while Harry, Ron and Hermione chose to stand in front of them.

The marauders looked around eagerly never having seen Sirius bedroom. Harry cleared his throat and looked pleadingly at Hermione who gave him a reassuring smile. He took a deep breath and said with more confidence than he had, “Hi Mom and Dad, my name is Harry Potter and I am your son from the future”

Hermione hit his head “You could have phrased that better!” She scoffed looking at their faces. James and Lily looked between them and Harry, a look of confusion on their face. Remus looked thoughtful while Peter looked at his friends expectantly waiting for them to react to that blunt statement.

“Yeah right” Sirius laughed, but he was the only one. James looked at Harry and at Lily. The resemblance between Harry and him was uncanny and Harry did have emerald green eyes just like Lily.

Remus thought about everything he had learned about time travel and that just wasn't possible, the longest you could travel was a few hours.

“Proof it” Peter said

“Check the marauders map,” Harry said lazily “its mine in the future, same with the cloak” he added as the marauders opened their mouth.

“Let's begin at the beginning” Ron said while sitting down on the floor in front of the bed, Hermione and Harry following his lead.

“Wait!” Sirius yelled, not willing to believe a word that came out of Harry's mouth. Harry couldn't be his best friends son, he wouldn't allow it. Not even wanting to think about the story Harry had told him about a madman killing his parents, killing James and Lily. “How do we know you are telling the truth? For all we know this could be a prank set up by James and you” James shook his head but Sirius didn't notice his eyes were fixated on the green eyed boy in front of him.

“Tell us something only we could have told you” Lily suggested. She had no idea what to believe. Could magic do that? Bring a person from one time to another?

“I don't know a lot about you” Harry confessed. He looked at Lily “You were once Snape's friend you met before Hogwarts and he was the one who called you a witch for the first time, until fifth year when he called you a .. when he called you a bad word”Harry gulped

“And still you want to be his best buddy?” Sirius couldn't help but ask.

“Snape could have told you that” Peter said, “you sit next to him every Monday and Friday”

“He saved my life” was all Harry said as explanation to Sirius. “Yes he could have, though I doubt Snape would confess he said the M word?” Harry sighed “I really don't know much” before he continued “You are in the slug club, and your best major is Charms, you have a sister named Petunia who hates magic. You and James started dating in seventh year once he deflated his enormous head” Harry snickered at James outraged face. “My godfather told me that.” Harry shrugged.

Lily looked at Harry and couldn't help but ask “If I am your mother how come you know so little about me?”

“I never got to know you or dad” His voice cracked and he looked at the ceiling for a moment, “All I heard about you and James, was what people told me” before looking at James. “You saved Snape from Sirius’ ‘prank’” he air quote “you are my patronus, everyone tells me I look like you except”

“For your mothers eyes” James finished and smiled at Harry, then looked smugly at Lily “Told you one day I would make you mine” Lily only rolled her eyes in response. Sirius had paled some more, this wasn't good, no one knew about them being animagus, and though Harry hadn't straight out told them a patronus took the form of an animal and if his was James that could only mean it was Prongs. Not to mention Sirius prank, not even Snape would have told him that, but he also doubted he would tell him in the future.

“Who told you about that prank?” Sirius paled.

“Remus and you sort of in my third year when I met you” Harry explained and turned back to Peter.

“I really don't know anything about you Peter” Harry offered timidly “only that you are a rat”

“In every sense there is” Ron muttered low enough for only the trio to hear.

“Harry Potter!” Lily chided him, Harry scratched his head embarrassingly “That's not a nice thing to say”

“Right, Sorry” Harry smiled timidly but the marauders laughed, they knew what Harry was trying to say.

“Remus, you”

“No need Harry! I believe you” Remus cut him off, and glanced to Lily, Harry gave him a nod and smiled.

“You were my professor in third year” Harry said softly “Defense against the dark arts, you taught me the patronus charm”

“You learned to do the patronus charm in your third year?” Peter asked astounded

“If one can do it, its Harry” Ron told them smugly.

“Only because I had a great teacher” Harry smiled at Remus. “You made me godfather to your son Teddy”

“Who did I marry?” Remus asked eagerly

Harry turned to Hermione who gave a small nod.

“I married Hermione?!” Remus yelled and wiggled his eyes at her

“Don't be silly, Hermione is gonna marry me!” Ron told him half joking half glaring.

“You married Tonks” Hermione smiled.

“Tonks?” Sirius asked “Andromeda Tonks? You married my Cousin?”

“Yes and no,” Harry laughed “he married Nymphadora Tonks”

“My baby cousin?” Sirius gasped “Please tell me she was off age”

“She was, she was working as an auror, it took her months, I think, until Remus agreed to go out with her” Hermione chuckled.

“Sirius, you gave me Grimauld place no12, you hated everything inside of it including Kreacher. Your mom blasted you off of the family tree, you gave me my first broom when I was one, and my last when I was thirteen. A firebolt fastest racing broom that was on the market. You’re my” Harry really tried to say it, you are my godfather, but he would tell him when they were alone. “You are barking mad” he said instead and Ron agreed laughing.

“Grim like” he said while stroking his leg gently.

“Is that why this room is my room? Because it's yours in the future?” No need to say that he died. And he made Harry the owner of the house, a house he hated more than anything else, what was he thinking? “My parents and brother are dead” he said suddenly.

Harry went bright red “The room of requirements gives us what we require and for some reason every time I ask for a room, it gives me your old room.” Then he looked sadly at Sirius, “They died Sirius, I’m sorry”

“Regulus, was he a” Harry knew what Sirius wanted to know, but harry wouldn't let that happen, Harry just needed to proof to Regulus that Voldemort wasn't a pureblood and the boy would never follow him surely.

“Sirius” Harry said “would Regulus follow Voldemort if Voldemort wasn't a pureblood?” Sirius snorted

“Harry no one would follow him if he wasn't a pureblood, imagine the look on the death eaters faces though, having kissed the ground a muggleborn or half blood walked on.” He laughed and Harry knew what he had to do, to make Regulus not join him, he must proof it with the diary. No that didn't show that he was Voldemort, maybe if they asked he would tell, but riddle was smarter than that. He would have to taunt him like last time.

“Why do you ask?” Remus interrupted Harry's thoughts.

“Hmm? Oh nothing just curious as to why Voldemort uses a fake name if he was a pureblood” Harry lied on the spot.

“That's a good question for another time” James sighed. “Why was a madman after us?”

“How do you know a madman was after you?” Harry frowned before he looked at Sirius who seemed to be in another world, Harry wondered what was going on in Sirius head, he hadn't given any indication that he was mad or if he didn't care about Harry being a Potter.

“There was a prophecy” Hermione began when Harry looked like a fish out of water.

“Wait before you finish!”Sirius stood up “How did you get here?”

“That's a good question” Remus agreed and Harry sighed.

“Remember the cuts on my body the first day we came here?” Everyone nodded “Remember I said it was from a backfired spell?” Another round of nods. “Well I wanted to turn back in time a few years but our time turner can only go back hours” Harry explained “I lost my temper and cursed it, it exploded, cut me and voila here we are”

“Didn't anyone ever tell you how dangerous it is to curse magical objects? You could have died” Remus gasped and stared at the trio with his mouth wide open.

“Well I didn't, so no need to fret over it” Harry said with a red face “Anyhow, the prophecy basically said a baby would be born end of July with the powers to defeat the dark lord, the dark lord would mark him his equal” Harry said and lifted his hair to show them his famous scar. “There were two options, Neville or me, Voldemort chose me”

“Volde- he who must not be named?” Everyone yelled.

“How many dark lords do you know?” Harry asked confused about their reaction. “You hid with the fidelius charm but your secret keeper betrayed you and Voldemort came and killed us all, only I survived that night.”

James looked at Sirius who had paled so much he looked as white as the ceiling

“You didn't make Sirius the secret keeper” Harry explained seeing his father looking at Sirius with betrayed eyes.

“I didn't?”

“It was too obvious, so you chose someone else but told everyone it was Sirius” Harry clarified.

“Very Slytherin” Sirius agreed “who was it?” Sirius asked venom dripping off of every word

“Doesn't matter” Harry said absently looking at Peter from the corner of his eyes.

“WHO HARRY?!” Sirius yelled “I’LL KILL HIM”

“I know you will, that's exactly why I won't say!” Harry countered just as angry “Last time you ended up in Azkaban for 12 years because of it” Sirius winced and stepped back “you were innocent, the man they thought you killed was an unregistered animagus he killed 12 muggles and turned quickly before you could kill him, they found you on the crime scene laughing” Harry said softly stepping forward to Sirius but quickly stepping back again. “They didn't gave you a trial” the room was filled with laughter, a cold laugh that held no humor in it.

“Padfoot” James warned and Sirius chuckled

“I just think it's funny” he said chuckling “don't you think it's funny”

“No one thinks it's funny” James sighed

“I was put into Azkaban because an unregistered animagus got the better of me” Sirius looked at Peter and Harry noticed his mistake, of course Sirius would put one and one together, him not wanting to tell who and him saying Peter was just a rat, and he was small enough in his animagus form to just vanish, beside how many unregistered animagus were there, and of course they would have made another marauder the secret keeper. Harry could have smacked himself.

Sirius stood up and Harry grabbed him. Sirius eyes were darker than they had ever been, he pushed Harry in the corner ignoring James’ and Lily's call for him. Both stood up and went to grab Sirius hand. “I just want a small talk with Harry” he said

“Sirius! If you hurt my son” Lily glared at him.

“I’m fine” Harry smiled at his mother, it felt surprisingly good that someone cared for him that way, Dumbledore it seemed had always encouraged him to do something reckless and didn't much care if he was hurt on his ‘adventures’.

Sirius waved them away and when they were out of earshot he turned his attention back to the green eyed boy in front of him, who eyed him very carefully as if he was a bomb about to explode “Tell me Harry was it him” he whispered into Harry's ear with such hate Harry shuddered for fear. “Give me one reason why I shouldn't go there and rip him apart” Harry grabbed him tightly, fearing Sirius temper.

“He hasn't done it yet, Sirius”

“But he will!” Sirius hand went to Harry's throat “He killed your parents and you try to protect him?” Harry looked at him pain in his eyes.

“Do you think it was easy for me? Sitting next to the man who betrayed my parents?” Harry asked him his voice barely there. “But he hasn't done it yet Sirius! You can't punish him for something he hasn't done yet!”

Peter looked up from where he sat “What are they talking about over there?” Remus looked at Peter with such hatred, Peter winced and looked at James and Lily.

“I don't know” Lily frowned but smiled at him, which seemed to be the last straw for James.

“Would you ever betray us?” He asked Peter, and Peter looked at James as if James had suggested if he liked to eat acid.

“Why would you think it was him? Is Peter an unregistered animagus?” Lily laughed and James forced a laughter out as well, Lily couldn't know just yet about them, she had to become his girlfriend first. Wife preferable.

“Never! I wouldn't! Sirius thinks I am the unregistered animagus Harry was talking about?” He whimpered  
“James I wouldn't betray you, do you think I would be brave enough to just walk in to Voldemort’s place to give up your address?”

James shook his head, he couldn't believe it either that his friend would betray them. “I am sure Harry was talking about someone else” James looked to were his son was having a heated argument with his best friend and hoped dearly that Harry was indeed talking about someone else.

“I lost you once because of it, I can't lose you again” Harry begged, still holding Sirius robe in his fist.

“Do you know what you are asking me to do here?” Sirius asked his hand still on Harry's throat but it wasn't in anyway as it had been in their first encounter. Sirius was gentle, his hand was even stroking his throat gently. Harry felt like a prey who was being played with and he didn't want to do anything against it.

“James can't know Sirius, Peter hasn't done anything yet, and as long as he isn't doing anything wrong you can't blame him for what will happen. Before he betrays them, he will give information about you to Voldemort a year before. Meaning he isn't in contact with Voldemort yet. He is still the boy you think he is” Harry sighed, his fist pulled Sirius even closer to him “His bogart was his own corpse, he fears death, that's why he betrayed you, because Voldemort was about to kill him.” Seeing Sirius face he quickly added “I am not excusing what he has done! I didn't kill him then, I won't kill him now. I’m telling you what I told you last time. I don't think my father would want his best friends to become killers”

Sirius sighed, “I won't kill him, but don't you dare tell me that I will have to act like nothing happened, I don't want to be near him, you better make sure the rat doesn't come to close to me, padfoot loves rats for dinner!” He said and pulled himself off of Harry's grip, his fingers on Harry's throat tighten a bit before he whispered dangerously in to Harry's ear “one wrong move and I kill him, agree?” Harry bit his lip and nodded. Sirius went back to James who raised his eyebrow and Sirius did his best to smile at him.

Harry's hands were shaking and he stayed behind to catch his breath, eyes still lingering on Sirius, he could see rather than hear, James and Peter asking Sirius bunch of questions and Sirius tense body.

“Is it possible? Can magic do it? Turn back in time?” Lily asked James with a whisper only barely there. Sirius didn't speak to Peter, and Peter knew better than try to get his attention, he valued his life after all.

“There are Time turners but they are watched by the ministry, and they can only go back for one or two hours right now” James told her quietly.

“We really die? I really die at the hand of that, of that monster?” Harry came over again sitting next to Hermione and Ron, both leaning in on him a little.

“Do you know what happened that night?” James asked and Harry gave him a nod “Can you tell us?”

Harry shook his head so fast he could get a whiplash, “Please Harry” Lily muttered, “I need to know”

“Why does it matter?” Harry panicked “I am here to change that from happening.”

“You can't mess with time, Harry”

“I already am, mom. You already know about it, surely now you won't change secret keeper and I know for sure Sirius would rather die than betray you.” At James wince he continued “If my plan works you won't need a secret keeper at all”

“What have you planned?” Lily looked at him with wide eyes.

“Nothing too dangerous” Harry said and looked to his friends.

“Harry, don't lie to me”

“We’ve done it before, we just gotta do it again”

“What exactly would that be?” James asked his voice firm

“You don't have to worry about the details” Harry sighed

“I am your father, and I won't just sit around while you do something dangerous”

“Technically you aren't my father just yet” Harry muttered

“On a scale from one to ten how dangerous is it? Don't make me get the truth firewhiskey” James threatened.

Harry closed his mouth stubbornly and glared at his parents to be, “Harry” Lily said sounding very much about to explode.

“Some might say it would be a ten, some might think nine, personally I think our chances are pretty good, maybe a seven? Eight the most” he looked at Hermione and Ron to back him up

“Yeah, we’ve done it before, back then it was a ten! But now we know what we’re doing, so probably a 9” not helping, Harry muttered at Ron. “Did I say 9? I meant 6, you know how they are so similar I get confused easily”

None of the marauders looked any convinced and even Lily had paled. “What exactly have you planned? You don't intend to face him right?”

Harry fake laughed “What? Face him? That's crazy, who would do that?” He cleared his throat and Sirius looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Harry pretended that him referred to someone who wasn't Voldemort so he wasn't really lying to his mother. Peter looked at Harry with eyes full oh hope, and longing.

“How old were you the night we were killed?” James winced.

“One” Harry said looking at his fingernails, as if it didn't pained him to talk to his family about their death.

“What happened?”

Harry glared at his father why couldn't he just drop it. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“How do you know what happened if you were the only survivor and you were one?”

“Because I had nightmares of green light, and everytime I faced a dementor I heard moms scream and voldemorts cold laugh as he killed her! And I heard you telling Mom to take me and run, that it was him” Harry's voice cracked “do you have any idea how it feels like to hear your parents voice for the first time and all you hear is their last moment?! But still you long to hear it! Because you miss them, even though you never knew them.” Harry turned around and wiped his tears away and rubbed his eyes to stop the tears from falling down.

“Oh Harry” Lily said and run to him, enveloping him into a bone crushing hug, she wiped his tear away and he clutched tightly onto her, this was the first time he hugged her. He buried his head in her shoulder while she soothed him and stroke his head gently. Hermione and Ron moved away a Little to give Harry and Lily more place.

“Harry” James croaked, “I’m sorry” Harry looked up from his mothers shoulder embarrassed. “Why were you facing dementors?” Lily glared at him but Remus came to his aid, Sirius still looked at the boy who held on tightly on Lily afraid of losing her again.

“It's a fair question Lily”

“Sirius broke out of Azkaban and people thought he was after me, Hogwarts was surrounded by dementors”

“Was I?”

“Were you after me? Well yeah kinda, you wanted to say hello and tell me that you would never betray my parents”

“Did you believe me?”

Harry smiled and gave him a nod, “I even helped you escape on a hippogriff out of Hogwarts” he smiled and Hermione smiled as well.

“We got the time turner that year”Ron joined the conversation “misses here thought it was wise to want to learn every subject available, professor Mcgonagall gave her a time turner so she could attend all classes” Harry snickered and Hermione went red.

“Everything seemed so interesting” she huffed “aside from divination, how you two could stand being in the class is still a mystery to me”

“What? You don't like being told that you are about to die every time you enter her class” Harry asked innocently and Hermione hit his upper arm laughing.

“Hermione never used the time turner for something else than studying and attending classes” Ron stated somewhat proud and disbelievingly. “Then Harry comes and of course uses the time turner to save an escaped Azkaban prisoner who was rumored escaped only because he wanted to kill Harry, right under the noses of the ministry and Snape” Harry laughed.

“I only helped him escape because I knew he was innocent and well because he offered me a home” Harry smiled warmly at the memories.

“Snape?!” James asked horrified

“Yeah he is our Potions professor” Ron grumbled and the trio laughed in memory of Snape's outraged face.  
  
“Am I dead?” Peter asked suddenly and the smile on Harry's face vanished

“You are all dead in my time” everyone was silent at that, and Harry lay back down on the ground, he glanced at Sirius who looked torn between anger and sadness. Lily run her finger through his messy hair and Harry closed his eyes leaning into the touch.

“Who raised you?” Lily suddenly asked and everyone looked at her “I am sure Sirius was your god..” James silenced her with a look and Lily only then saw Sirius devastated face. Sirius stood up and raked his fingers through his hair, his gaze wandering from James to Harry repeatedly.

“I grew up with aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon” Harry told her while sitting back up.

“What?!” Lily shook her head “Please tell me they treated you right?” Harry almost fell back down on the ground, he hadn't expected her to yell but then she knew aunt Petunia better than he did.

“She did” Harry said looking at the ground

“Harry” his mother raised his chin up with a finger

“She mostly ignored me” Harry said and whimpered under the glare of his mother. “What do you want me to say? They neglected me, they hated magic, they hated me and the feeling was mutual!” Harry almost screamed at her.

“Did they ever hit you?” James growled

“No, really they never raised a hand at me. I was like a house elf there” James and Sirius growled lowly “a well treated house elf, a house elf with good masters”

“You aren't making it better” Hermione whispered and Harry agreed.

“It wasn't that bad” Harry shrugged.

Sirius started pacing the room and after a while of silence. He went to the door ready to leave. Harry looked at him sadly. Sirius looked at the door as he whispered “Am I your godfather?” When he got no answer he watched Harry intently, whose green eyes were full of love and fear and then he gave Sirius a hesitant nod, Sirius world shattered right then. “Am I your bogart?” Harry looked at the ground another nod.

“Sirius” James called him, his voice soft and dripping of pity

“No James!” Sirius yelled and opened the door “I almost fucked your son last night!” James flinched and Lily winced while Harry went bright red his eyes fixating Sirius wanting to say something but didn't know what. Without another word Sirius left through the door.

Harry didn't know what to do but his feet already carried him out the door to run after Sirius.

“Well this is awkward” Ron said after everyone watched the door for several minutes. Lily stood up watching the door and sighed. James stood up and he made a move to leave for the door but a hand on his chest prevented him “Leave them” Lily told him gently “you know Sirius better but even I can see that he clearly likes him”

“I don't know what to do or think” James confessed quietly but Hermione and Ron could still hear it “Should I be mad at Harry for letting Sirius on?”

“He didn't want to!” Hermione defended his friend “The only reason we are telling you this is because Harry wanted Sirius to know the truth, he wanted Sirius to have the chance to say no in case Sirius didn't want to be with him because Sirius was his godfather”

“What do you mean? Harry only told us because I knew he wasn't really a Granger but a potter”

“You knew?!” Hermione and Ron yelled “Of course!” Hermione hit her forehead “The map” she whispered

“Yep” James said popping the p “he didn't tell you?”

“Nope” Ron said popping the p “He told us yesterday after Sirius and he made up that he wanted to tell Sirius the truth.”

James smiled at that. “I don't know if it's a good think if they end up together” James sighed “Harry will leave and Sirius will be all alone” James was torn, he wanted both to be happy, but Sirius was his best friend, Harry his son.

“When are you going back?” Lily asked? She wanted to spend as much time as possible with her son till then to get to know him.

“Well you see?” Ron laughed embarrassed “The problem is we have no bloody idea how to return”

“I can see how that's a problem” Remus muttered and shook his head in amusement.

  
“Sirius wait up!”

“Don't bother me Harry”

“Please?” Harry panted and Sirius froze and turned around, he grabbed Harry's arm and shoved him in a empty classroom. He locked and silenced it before turning back to Harry with a raised eyebrow. “I” Harry started but was cut off by Sirius.

“Why did you kiss me Harry? You are my best friend’s son!”

“I know, but”

“I am your godfather!”

“Yes, but”

“No buts! It's wrong” Sirius all but cried, Harry hung his head looking at the ground.

“I am your bogart, why?” Sirius asked

“Remember when I told you about people dying to protect me?”

“I was one of them?” Sirius smiled “at least I died for someone I loved”

“You shouldn't have died! It was my fault! Voldemort, he tricked me” Harry rasped out on the edge of tears “I thought he had you, You were being tortured, I thought he was gonna kill you” a tear fell from his eye “it was a trap” he whispered unable to look in grey eyes. “You came to save me and you got killed” Harry closed his eyes awaiting the taller boys reaction, waiting for the jinx to hit him or the yell to slap him in the face. But nothing came he opened his eyes slowly and stared into grey wet eyes.

“It's not your fault”

“Merlins arse! I GOT YOU KILLED” Harry yelled his hand in a fist he was ready to punch Sirius until the man finally admitted that Harry did indeed caused his death.

“You know who”

“Just say his bloody name! VOLDEMORT!”

“Vol- Voldemort tricked you. I am happy and moved to hear that you came to save me” he said honestly

“I love you, of course I would come and save you” Harry said softly

“Then what's the difference with me saving you?”

“It could have been prevented if I had used the mirror you gave me” Harry whimpered

Sirius grabbed into his front pocket and pulled out a mirror “This one?”

“Yes, you gave me James’ but I never opened your gift. You said it was so we could communicate but you were on the run having broken out of Azkaban, I didn't wanted to risk getting you in trouble. I never opened it”

“You never opened it?” Sirius repeated, he felt a pang in his heart, he understood Harry's reason and sure the mirror wasn't dangerous but Harry hadn't known that, and yet he could already imagine the pain of waiting and carrying the mirror around, waiting for Harry to call his name, but why hadn't he called Harry's name? Was he that different in Harry's time? Merlin knows he wasn't known for being patient. He looked in pained green eyes that seemed to await their punishment, “It's my fault then, I should have told you about the mirror and tell you it was harmless” Sirius took Harry's face in his hands and with his thumbs he wiped the tears away.

“But if only I had”

“It's my fault and that’s the end of discussion” Sirius told him firm but gently, as Harry opened his mouth again he sighed “Hush, I don't want to hear it, we had this conversation before, stop wasting your life on what ifs, and if only. I didn't die so you would stop living and waste your life away in blame and regret, I died so you could have a long happy life”

“I don't want a long happy life without you, ” Harry admitted.

“Harry” Sirius whispered “James is like a brother to me, I can't date his son” he stroke Harry's wet cheeks gently “I meant it, you would never be a fling, but I can't give you more than friendship or being your godfather” he sighed and Harry saw the tears in bright grey eyes, he could hear the pain in his dark voice, Harry closed his eyes and gave Sirius a nod. “How about a goodbye kiss?” Sirius asked shyly and Harry half opened his eyes and pressed his lips against Sirius’ . It was over way to soon and Sirius left, leaving Harry behind in the empty, cold and dark class room, which seemed so much how Harry felt at the moment.

Neither Harry nor Sirius showed up for dinner, Sirius had taken James’ cloak and sneaked out to the three broomsticks to drink the pain away while Harry lay in Sirius bed in the room of requirements and stared at the ceiling. After dinner Hermione and Ron went to him “Are you okay Harry?” Hermione whispered softly, Harry's eyes found her and he tried to smile at her but his mouth didn't seem to work.

“Fine, Shaggy” he croaked

“I think he overreacted” Ron crossed his arms.

“I don't know” Harry sighed “I can understand it, imagine Hermione was my daughter from the future, would you still date her?”

“Of course! Mate, Hermione could be Voldemort’s daughter and I still wouldn't care” Harry chuckled imagining Hermione without a nose.

“Yes, but you know me for years Ron, Sirius knows James for years and Harry for a month.” Hermione explained and Harry nodded.

“It's alright, it really is. He is still my godfather right?” He tried to sound cheerful. “Beside this is better than lying to him” Hermione went over to his side and gently stroke his upper arm.

“Scoot over” She said and climbed into bed beside him, Ron following her suit and laying on the other side of Harry, sandwiching him between the two giving him love and warmth. Afraid of losing him again. They had done this several times during the Horcrux hunt, the one in the middle was mostly the one wearing the necklace.

“We should focus, we came here for a reason.” Harry said, Hermione told him about their next move while Ron made comments to make Harry laugh.

James stared at Sirius, he had just come back drunk, James quickly took the map and the cloak and searched for Harry who still hadn't come back. Before Sirius passed out he had just said don't worry I have stopped it before it even began. This made James worry even more, where was Harry? Was he alright? He went to the wall and paced in front of the wall just like he had seen Harry do it. His thoughts all on Harry and then a door appeared. He opened it slowly and peaked inside, he saw his son sleeping in between his two friends, smiling he closed the door and went back to his room. His best friend needed him.

Next morning Potions someone grabbed Harry's arm as he went to sit next to Snape, for a second he thought it was Sirius and he smiled but then his smile dropped, the hand on his arm was way to gentle, Sirius had always a strong grip, which Harry liked. He turned around and met green eyes, “Sit next to me today, Harry?” She didn't wait for an answer and guided him to an empty seat next to her where Marlene used to Sit. James smiled gratefully at her and looked at Sirius again, Sirius had a hungover, and usually he would have stayed in the boys room and James would have made up an excuse. But James had dragged him, he had never before seen Sirius drink because of a boy. Because of his parents and brother? Yes many times. Because of Snape? Yep, Snape had a way of saying things that hit too close to home for Sirius. But never because of a boy. Sirius just never cared enough, sure he knew that Sirius liked Harry a lot, he definitely had a crush, but James had no idea how much Sirius liked Harry. He had never seen the heartthrob have a broken heart, and it scared him because now he had no idea how to act to get Sirius out of it.

“What about Marlene?” Harry asked

Lily pointed at Marlene sitting next to a Gryffindor he didn't really know. “They just started dating” she explained “They are inseparable” Harry gave her a nod and his eyes moved to Sirius, his head was on the table and he looked as if he was sleeping.

“I guess you have your fathers skill if it's about potions” she snickered and Harry smiled.

“Unfortunately I do, Professor Slughorn praised you a lot you know, during my time” She smiled softly at that, looking up as the man entered the class.

Snape looked at Harry questionably, the boy kept on looking at Black, who looked as if he hadn't slept in years. Harry usually sit next to him, he had become used to the messy haired boy who asked stupid questions all the time. He groaned, he had to do something, did Black and Harry fight? Just on Saturday he had witnessed Sirius kissing the boys ear and hair. He fooled no one, except those brainless women who still thought they had a chance with him. A glance at Harry showed Snape that Harry did seem a bit down himself. Even though he was smiling at Lily, his eyes didn't smile or shine of love, they were dull, the only feeling Snape got from looking into those green eyes were sadness and pain.

Lily tried to teach Harry as much as she could in potions and he did manage to make a decent potion, Slughorn was impressed and Harry didn't need to do extra homework this time. “Thanks Lily, without you I had to do those extra lines for sure.”

“Anytime Harr-bear” Harry just stared at her. “Too much?” She asked

“No” he said smiling, if it made his mom happy, he had no problem with it.

“I always wanted to have children fast” oh boy, Harry thought, he really didn't want to hear about anything related of sex and baby's out of his mothers mouth. “But with him around, I never thought it was possible” no question needed to ask who him was. Harry had found out that the marauders never said Voldemort, they must have started when they joined the order of the Phoenix. Hermione told him that it was because right now they were scared just like everyone else, people they knew had died, people they went to school with had lost their parents or aunts and uncles. But in the order they fought him and it was a kind of rebellion to speak his name when Voldemort was so against it.

Lily smiled at him and dragged him off to lunch, were she continued her questioning. “What's your favorite subject?”

“I am pretty good at Defense against the dark arts, and Quidditch” Harry suggested. Lily nodded

“You are a better Flyer than James, I guess now I know from who you got it” James sat down next to them, Sirius nowhere in sight.

“Any animals?” She asked absorbing every information he gave her eagerly.

“I had a snow owl, Hagrid gave her to me, her name was Hedwig.”

“That's a beautiful name”Lily whispered.

“Are you bisexual or gay?” His father joined the questioning and Harry lost his grip on his spoon splashing the soup on his shirt. “Relax there boy, it's just a question” James laughed.

Harry looked at Lily pleadingly, and she helped him out, though her offering of help wasn't any better “Tell me about Cho and Ginny”

Harry looked at Hermione and Ron who seated before them trying and failing to conceal their laughter. “Why?” He asked his parents

“We want to get to know you better.” James chuckled, honestly he just loved making Harry a bit uncomfortable and knowing Lily he guessed she wanted a little bit of both.

“Alright,” Lily sighed and smiled “red, blonde or dark”

“Dark” Harry said his thoughts on Sirius black shoulder long hair.

“Favorite food” James asked

“Treacle tart”

“Mine too” James smiled

“That's dessert” Lily huffed

“Erm I like spinach” Harry offered

“Me too!” Lily smiled, “You have to join me in the winter holidays, my mom makes the best spinach”

“Can I come as well? I would love nothing more than try your mothers cooking” James said no hint of sarcasm or jokes.

“I’ll write her later and ask” Lily smiled.

“Then I will do the same” James said, “Harry you have to at least come one day” then he lowered his voice and whispered into Harry's ear “I’ll introduce you to your grandparents”

Harry wanted nothing more but they had a plan, they had no time.

“We would love to come” Ron said and Hermione chuckled, even Harry couldn't suppress laughter, he was pretty sure Lily had him at cooking the best spinach. Food was food and Ron loved it all.

James and Lily smiled shyly at the trio and Harry knew they had forgotten about his friends, “I’ll write to my parents tonight” Lily said and had a rather concentrated look on her face, probably formulating a letter in her head.

“You are welcome at the Potter’s house, all of you, Remus, Sirius, and Peter will spend most of the holidays at my home as well, I had never brought a girl home before” he chuckled looking at Hermione “but as long as you two behave it won't be a problem” he laughed at their crimson red faces.

In Charms Lily began questioning him again, “charms or transfiguration?”

“I am standard at both” Harry confessed quietly.

“I can teach you” she said happily and showed him her favorite charms, Harry listened intently, his eyes gazing now and then to Sirius, who looked better than he had in the morning, but still pale with blood red eyes.

“The Beatles or Led Zeppelin?”

“Haven't heard of both” Harry said.

“How is that possible?”

“Well, aunt petunia didn't let me listen to the radio” Harry shrugged, “and even if she did, I doubt she would listen to music you liked”

“If you come in the winter holidays I’ll show you my collection of the Beatles okay? If you want to hear Led Zeppelin I am sure Sirius still has their records, he is a big fan”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, you have to see Sirius outside school, he looks more like a band member of Led Zeppelin.” Harry couldn't do anything with that example, he had no idea how they looked like, he looked at the tall boy again, and tried to imagine him with other clothes than his uniform. His Sirius had worn normal muggle stuff, t-shirts, vests, suits, jeans. Sometimes he hadn't even worn anything besides his pajama or a black t-shirt and some pants. But then again he had never left the house why should he wear something at all. If harry had live at the dursleys when he grew up, alone only with ripper as company he wouldn't even dress at all.

Harry would have thought Lily would have run out of questions, but it was Friday now and Lily still asked him anything she could think of. When Lily asked thousand questions about Ginny and Cho again, Harry shot his father a pleading look. They were sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace, Hermione and Ron at the floor in front of them doing their astronomy essay. “Let the young man breathe Lils, Harry, Harry, Harry” he said and Harry cocked his head to the side a little “I guess your mom chose your name, I have always said that Elvendork fits perfectly for my firstborn, because it's an unisex name” Harry stared at his father trying to figure out if he was joking or not, but years of practice and James had the perfect Pokerface. He turned to Lily and mouthed a thank you at her.

Ron glanced up from his essay and chuckled “Elvendork James Potter, mate that's worse than Draco” Harry glared at him.

“You can always shorten it to Dork” James laughed, definitely joking then Harry smiled relieved.

“What if I had been a girl?” Harry asked suddenly.

“I still would have loved you Dork, no matter what gender you are” James said laughing.

“Not what I meant but thank you. Remus had said heirs get their fathers name as middle names” James nodded and tilted his head to the side. “What if your first born is a daughter?”

“Well, daughters can't be heirs, they don't carry on the family name so most purebloods don't really care about their daughters until they have a son” James explained “but mostly they get their mothers name. So you would have been Elvendork Lily Potter” James laughed again, and Ron joined him, even Lily and Hermione chuckled a little bit.

“So there aren't any heiress?”

“Technically there are” his mother explained “but like James said, they can't carry the family name, so once a boy is born she will be stripped of her title and the boy will be made heir”

“What if there aren't any sons?”

“Then they negotiate with another family who has many boys and arrange a marriage were they either combine their names as in Elvendork Lily Evans-Potter. Or the boy gives up his family name and takes on the girls Elvendork Lily Evans” James said proudly. “But that rarely happens. Mostly the family name dies out because purebloods don't want to marry bloodtraitors or halfbloods and muggleborns, and the purebloods are to proud to give up their name”

“What about gays? Whose name to they take?”

“Non” James said softly “gays aren't allowed to marry, if it was allowed purebloods wouldn't have a problem if their heir was gay” Harry looked at the ground in horror, he hadn't even considered what his parents would say, from his talk with Lily he knew she didn't mind, but James had even asked him if he was bisexual or gay. “I don't mind Harry” James said slowly and squeezed his heirs shoulder “I would never want to force you to be someone else”

“In our time gay marriages are allowed” Hermione bobbed in

“Really?” Both James and Lily asked. Hermione nodded smiling.

“The family name would still die out” Harry pointed out “men and men can't become pregnant, and well women and women lack a certain seed to get pregnant”

“Did you even listen to history of magic when Professor Binns had announced it?”

“Why would Professor Binns announce it?” Harry frowned

“Because it's part of the history Harry! Honestly, do you know what families did to their heirs who were gay? They tried to ‘turn them straight’ or they would arrange marriages and many wizards committed suicide”

“Why only wizards? Why not witches, they weren't allowed to marry another witch either” Ron asked

“Because families only cared about their heir, he was the one who carried on the name” James said. He knew how much Sirius suffered from his parents torture to turn him straight. He couldn't hide the happiness from knowing Sirius would be able to marry in the future.

“In our time, wizards ask another witch mostly a sister or someone close to their family they rarely use someone outside the family but I heard of someone that used their best friend, they use the female to get a child”

“They fuck their sister?!” Harry yelled.

“Harry!” His mother chastised him. His father laughed and said something about a potty mouth and he would wash it out.

“Sorry,” he scratched his head “they make love to their sister?” Harry repeated defeatedly

“No of course not, they plant their seed inside her with the help of a specialized healer”

Lily now looked eager for more information. But Harry really didn't want to know more. He stared out of the window tuning out his mother and Hermiones discussion about what charm to use to make something like that happen. And who discovered it, and how it changed the wizarding world and the purebloods view. Which was non. Most purebloods didn't do it if it wasn't their sister carrying the baby, because anything further and it wouldn't have been their blood. So families without a daughter still didn't allow their heirs to be gay. 


	14. Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away

Sirius entered the common room, his hair messier than it used to be, his lips swollen and kiss marks all over his neck, he went straight to the boys room and James sighed, since Harry's announcement last week, Sirius had either spent the day intoxicated by booze or he went through the school snogging and shagging everyone willing.

Harry watched Sirius with a knot in his belly, he wanted to punch someone, he hated this feeling.

His mother gave him a gentle touch, taking his mind off of Sirius and jealousy by talking about Charms and Potions. It didn't work for long when he remembered Sirius last words. The boy had said all he could give was friendship but all Sirius had done was avoid him. Harry had kept his promise and never once ignored or avoided him, but he just downright pretended Harry didn't exist.

“Did you find him attractive in your time?” His mother asked seeing that his attention wasn't with her anymore

“Lily!” Harry and James groaned.

James couldn't help it, he wanted his son and best friend to be happy, but couldn't they be happy without one another? It was too weird to think his son would be together with his best friend, a boy he considered his family. Wasn't that incest? Besides he wanted to spare both boys a broken heart. Either Sirius was indeed serious about this and he would be left broken if Harry returned. Or Harry would be left broken when Sirius got what he wanted and moved on to the next prey.

“Come on, you can tell me anything” she said chuckling. His parents had a competition who could ask the most embarrassing question. ‘Who was your first crush, first kiss, first I love you, first tongue kiss’ his father even asked who he first wanked off to. As if he wanted to talk with his parents about that. He had of course not answered any of those questions, he just went bright red and unable to speak.

“He wasn't bad looking” Harry sighed as his mother pushed him a bit to get him to answer.

“Your bogart him looked pretty bad” James argued.

“Well he did broke out of Azkaban then, but with a shower, and a haircut he looked already better” Harry defended his godfather.

“Harry we should go to bed,” Hermione said smiling “we wanted to explore the castle tomorrow” Harry shot up from his seat grinning. He waved his parents good night and the trio went upstairs.

“I doubt he is going to explore the castle” James said laughing.

“No doubt about that” Lily agreed smiling worriedly.

“Don't worry, you can't do anything dangerous in Hogwarts” James said and added in his head ‘except run with a werewolf on the full moon’

Lily smiled at that and both continued to sit silently in front of the fire.

  
“Alright so how do we do this?” Ron asked excitedly. The trio stood in Sirius destroyed bedroom, Hermione held a Book about animagus’ and read to them for the third time the passage of the last step.

“Okay, now that you have read it for the third time. How do we do this?” Harry asked laughing.

“Right, first remove the mandrake leaf, if it worked you would still be able to feel Bolt or Ruddy in your head albeit not that strongly.” She said and with shaking hands she removed the mandrake leaf with an unsticking charm. Harry removed his leaf and he found that the once hard leaf was thin and soft now. He searched in his head for Bolt and almost jumped in the air out of joy when he found him.

“I can feel Bolt” He said instead looking eagerly at Ron and Hermione.

Ron went next removing his leaf with a shudder and a grin, that told Harry everything. Grinning both boys looked at Hermione. Who jumped in the air after having found Shaggy.

“It worked” She said jumping up and down. “We did it” she yelled and both boys joined her laughter.

“How do we turn? Is there a spell?” Ron asked eagerly.

“No, no spell, you have to channel your magic from your body to your wand to help you stabilize it and then the same with occlumency, you have to open your mind instead of closing it. Open it to where Ruddy is and switch bodies.”

“You make it sound impossible” Ron groaned but took out his wand, and began meditating, the others followed his lead.

Harry closed his eyes, he searched his head for Bolt and opened his walls, letting Bolt enter and then he stared at Bolt until Bolt started to vanish. Harry opened his eyes, his wand lay fallen down on the ground and as he tried to reach for it he saw a hoof where a hand was supposed to be. Harry jumped up and looked at Hermione and Ron's concentrating faces. He called them but all that came out was a neigh and a bunch of air out of his nose.

Ron and Hermione opened their eyes and Both laughed running towards Bolt.

“You look really good, mate” Ron said clapping on Harry's shoulder, then he started laughing at Bolts face, which he was sure would have been a grin if Thestrals could make that expression. Bolt shook his head and pushed Hermione and Ron back to their previous place.

“Alright alright” Hermione laughed shaking her head a little she clutched her wand and sat back down closing her eyes Bolt could see both Ron and Hermione gaining back their concentrating faces.

He saw his best friends bodies shrinking and in a blink of an eye in front of him sat Ruddy and Shaggy.

Bolt tapped his hoof on the floor excitedly. Both the weasels and the squirrels face snapped up, they stared at each other before running around excitedly. Bolt tried to follow their example but there was too much broken wood and broken glass in this room. Bolt went to the door and pushed it away with his head, it wouldn't move. Behind him he heard noises he was sure was Ron laughing as Ruddy. Bolt turned around and grabbed the weasel with his hoof and pushed him down, then he bit him gently in the neck and lifted the angry weasel up, he held the weasel in front of the door handle who then pushed it down while making angry squeaking noises. He pushed the door open with his front hooves, and let the weasel fall to the ground. He hurried out of the room, he didn't like it at all here, he felt trapped. Harry knew he was a student in a thestrals body in Hogwarts but the trapped feeling was there, he longed to be outside, in the big dark forest.

He walked to the corner and peaked around. When he saw it empty he smiled and went to the staircase. Ruddy and Shaggy hot on his hooves. Bolt ignored any squeaking noises the squirrel made and never lowered his head enough to see them, but he knew Shaggy was shaking her head. He went down the stairs slowly one step at a time, unfortunately his body was too big and he slip and fell down the rest of the stairs. He looked up and saw Ruddy and Shaggy blowing air out of their noses while clutching their belly.

Harry held his head up high with as much dignity as he had left, and huffed at them. He went down another staircase, watching each hoof and fell down head first another case of stairs. Ruddy and Shaggy stood on top watching amused while Shaggy kept on watching left and right to make sure no one was there.

Ruddy decided to sit down on Bolts back along with Shaggy. Bolt tried to move when he smelled a human and a cat approaching, he panicked and ran so fast in the opposite direction while looking behind him that he never saw the armory in front of him. He crashed head first in it, he shook his head and froze as he saw filch running towards him.

“Just a weasel and a mouse” He told his cat. Shaggy blew air out her nose looking very offended being called a mouse. Mrs Norris though had another plan and she jumped at Shaggy, who squeaked as she saw razor sharp teeth directed at her small squirrel throat, she run away trying to find some place the giant cat couldn't reach. As mrs Norris came running towards her, Bolt simply pushed her away with his hoof. Mrs. Norris seemed to have just noticed him, fur standing up and showing her teeth threateningly, she stepped back and run the opposite direction.

“What? What have you found? Is it peeves?” Filch asked running after his cat eagerly.

Bolt looked smugly at Shaggy who hit his nose with her little paw. Bolt sneezed, and shot right back up. He waited for his friends to get back on his back and started to move the stair case down again.

Harry jumped down a little, the longer he went the more he got the hung out of it, though he did not look gracefully. On the last floor he looked smugly at Ruddy and Shaggy on his back, and crashed into the wall. Ruddy blew air out of his little nose so hard he fell down from Bolts back on the cold hard floor.

Bolt sighed and strutted out of the castle into the big dark forest. He could see everything clearly, hear every sound surrounding him and smell everything. He smelled a herd of thestrals, a big dog and a human and delicious meat. He wanted to go there but he was afraid that Hagrid would figure out who he was, his slightly green eyes and his white scar could give it away after all. He looked behind him and saw his best friends exploring every tree and bush. He run around happily, never having felt so free. He played tag with Shaggy and Ruddy for a while before he felt the urge to try out his new wings. He run steadily and gaining more speed by the second, he opened his wings and jumped to the air, he moved his wings up and down faster and faster until he was high above the forest.

He was finally free. Free from pressure, blame and guilt, and from heartache. All that mattered was the wind around his wings and the morning sun on his skin.

“That was amazing!” Harry sighed happily, the return to the castle wasn't any easier and he fell once again another bunch of staircases. But he found that until now no one could see him.

“Next time I want to come with you flying, mate” Ron said chuckling.

“We gotta practice daily, until we can transform in seconds, like the marauders and professor Mcgonagall.” Hermione told them and the others nodded “We should transform in the forest next time, it's too dangerous to try and sneak out of the castle”

“What about our wands?” Harry asked her eyeing his wand worriedly.

“We can hide it somewhere by Hagrid’s hut” Ron suggested tough his suggestion was swallowed by his growling stomach.

“Come let's eat lunch,” Hermione said smiling “you also have Quidditch soon” she looked at Harry. Harry really didn't want to go, Sirius would be there. Pretending that Harry didn't exist. So that's what karma feels like, Harry thought bitterly as he left the room of requirements.

“Finish exploring?” His father smirked at them as the trio sat down at the table.

Harry gave him a quick nod “For today” he said grinning at his friends.

Ron didn't even took notice of any conversation, his focus only on the food in front of him, he took some sandwiches and ate them eagerly, next to him Hermione told him to slow down while Harry laughed and filled his own plate with all sorts of foods and ate as if he hadn't eaten in years. Next to James, Sirius looked at the trio knowingly, he smiled a little bit at Harry, but the barely there smile vanished as soon as Peter sat down next to Harry. Sirius pushed his plate away stating he wasn't hungry anymore and left the great hall. Harry watched his retreating back sadly.

“Don't worry about him” Peter said stroking Harry's back. Harry forgot how to eat trying to move out of Peters range without making it too obvious. “You know, I don't care that you’re my best friends son” he whispered into Harry's ear.

“Erm thanks?” Harry saw Remus looking at Peter oddly and returned to his own plate. It felt good to eat something else than soup, so good that he just forget about Peter touching his side a little or brushing his hand on Harry's thigh.

Professor Dumbledore stood up and asked for a moment of silence “I have an announcement to make before you go back to your activities” he smiled gently at all students “it was brought to my attention by four gentlemen, that the students of Hogwarts would love to have a Halloween ball” Harry looked at his father who winked at him, smiling he returned his gaze back to the headmaster. “I decided, that indeed in this dark time we need to have some light and laughter in our lives. There will be a Halloween ball and everyone is allowed to attend as long as they charm their own Costumes” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. “Students under 15 curfew is like always at 10pm, students from age 15 to 16 are allowed till midnight, and students of age are excused from curfew but not from class the next day” he said chuckling. “I can't wait to see what costumes you come up with” with that the headmaster said back down.

Students under 15 were complaining loudly while the others were trying to figure out with their friends who to take and what they could charm their clothes into.

It seemed that only Harry wasn't overly excited at the prospect of having a Halloween ball. He didn't know if it was because Halloween just always had been a bad day for him, or because this was the day his parents died or because he wanted to go with Sirius but seeing that the boy still ignored him it was impossible to even hope that Sirius would ask him.

“Harry” Peter called him shyly. Harry looked at him and raised his eyebrow. “Do you know who you taking to the ball?” Harry shrugged and continued his focus on his food. Trying to ignore Sirius absence that hurt more than Sirius presence. Harry never noticed Remus whispering into James ear and the three students having a silent conversation. Remus shook his head angrily while James shook his head sadly at Peter, who crossed his arms.

“Why?! He doesn't even talk or look at Harry!” Peter Huffed, he looked expectantly at James and Remus.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked as he watched the one sided conversation in front of him.

“Nothing Harry, Peter just has to be reminded on some Marauders codes” Remus told Peter more than he told Harry. Harry raised his eyebrows, waiting for a better explanation that never came.

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about me while I am sitting right here.” Harry snapped, he was angry at Sirius for leaving and pretending he didn't exist, pretending they hadn't kissed heatedly against a wall. Harry stood up leaving an open mouthed James behind.

“Guess he got his temper from his mother” Remus laughed and James nodded.

Harry sat in front of the fireplace, watching as his friends entered, Ron came and sat next to him dragging Hermione with him. James and Remus sat down on the sofa next to Sirius while Peter went to the library, eyeing Sirius with eyes full of fear and dislike.

James and Sirius were talking about the Halloween ball and that they couldn't believe Dumbledore really made it happen, after writing him everyday for a year without a reply they had thought Dumbledore wouldn't do it. Sirius told James about the Ravenclaw who was going to be his date and if they were still on their last costume choices, James nodded and with that he went to his room to get a bouquet of red roses to give Lily and ask her to be his date. Sirius also retreated to the boys room.

“How does he already have a date? He wasn't even there when Dumbledore announced it” Harry told Ron grumbling and he could see Remus trying to hide his amusement.

“Beats me, who are you going with?”

“I don't think I want to go” Harry told him.

“Mate, this is once in a lifetime!”

“I hate Halloween” Harry said and went over to Remus to have a better sight at his father trying to ask his mother.

“Lily Evans” James began holding the roses tightly “you would make me the happiest man if you would agree to be my date for the upcoming Halloween ball.” Lily opened her mouth but then quickly closed it, she looked around and stared into green eyes. Harry went red, feeling as if he had just eavesdropped into a private conversation and a very private moment.

James looked nervously at Lily and at Harry. He didn't dare to move a muscle and scare her off. He had done what she wanted, he hadn't done too much, no pranking, no loud declares of love, no silly poems and no over dramatic plots to ask her out. This was way more nerves wrecking though.

“What do you think, Harr-bear?” Lily asked smiling at Harry, who pretended he hadn't stared at the couple in anticipation. James gave his son a pleading look.

“I think you should say yes” Harry rasped out grinning.

“I would love to James Potter” Lily said taking the flowers from James and retreated to the girls room.

James jumped in the air and danced around for awhile, Harry watching in amusement before James came towards him and gave him a bear hug while kissing his cheek. Harry laughed and wiped his cheek. James ruffled his son’s already messy hair and thanked him.

“You realize she would have said yes even without me telling her right?” Harry said chuckling.

“You never know with women” James said shaking his head. “Come you gotta help me finish Lily's dress”

“You already have a costume for her? I thought you didn't know if she would say yes?” Harry laughed.

“A bloke can hope, Harry” James sighed happily, “Granger” James called “tell lily to not charm a costume, I have everything under control” Hermione gave him a nod and went up the stairs but not before scoffing at Ron. Who looked like a deer caught in headlight. When she was gone Ron turned to his best mate

“What did I do now?” He asked meekly.

“Beats me?” Harry said looking at his father.

“What did you say to her?” His father asked Ron.

“Nothing? I asked her what costumes we would be wearing” Ron shrugged “should I have prepared it alone like you?”

James shook his head, “You did ask her to the ball right?” Harry asked remembering the Yule ball.

“I’m her boyfriend isn't that obvious that she will go with me?” James and Remus laughed loudly, and Harry looked worriedly at his father.

“No, Weasley. It's not obvious for a woman,” James laughed “you better ask her out before she decides to say yes to another offer she get”

Ron panicked and Remus helped him out. “Come on, Ronald” Remus chuckled “lets find something dramatic for your girl, what does she like?”

“Books?” Ron suggested and Harry followed his father to their rooms.

Sirius was sitting on his bed playing his guitar softly, Harry just downright pretended he wasn't there, that made it at least easier for him. “What exactly do you need help with?” Harry scratched his head. “You are brilliant at spells”

“Thanks son” James said proudly puffing out his chest

“And modest” Harry grumbled and James punched his upper arm lightly.

“I need you to wear it while I charm it” James told him with his most serious face and the most serious voice. Harry stared at his father trying to figure out if the man in front of him was joking or not.

“You want me to wear a dress?” Harry clarified slowly, backing away towards the door slowly. Sirius stopped playing his guitar and watched the scene with a small smile

James grinned and nodded, “Your mother would be very disappointed if I didn't finish it, but in order to finish it I need a model”

“Great! I’ll go get Hermione” Harry said turning to the door.

“I thought you wanted to spend some time with me” James whined dramatically.

“You were joking right?”

“Yep” James grinned and took the yellow dress, “I just need you to hold it and give your opinion” he chuckled at Harry, “You should have seen your face, Dork” Harry sighed and took the dress, he heard Sirius trying to stifle his laughter.

Harry watched in awe as his father worked on the dress and he gave one or two compliments or some inputs. His father wouldn't tell him however what it was supposed to be so he really couldn't say much or give his opinion beside saying that it would look good.

“So who is my son taking to the ball?” James asked him while taking the almost finished dress from him.

“I’ll go to the lake” Harry said quickly.

But before he could leave through the door James stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“We have practice in 10, go get ready” James said.

“Can't we just have practice tomorrow alone?” Harry asked eyeing Sirius.

“Can't Harry, sorry. I need to finish my costume as well” he said ruffling his hair while grinning at Harry. “Come on, it will be fun”

Harry very much doubted it, and he was proofed right when he saw the Ravenclaw seeker at the Quidditch field. “Hi!” The seeker said and Harry looked ready to curse him. James saw Harry's angry face and told the Ravenclaw seeker as gentle as he could to shove off.

Then he looked at Sirius angrily who only shrugged saying he hadn't invited him.

“Everyone in Position, Harry just catch the snitch as always alright” Harry only stared at the ground ready to catch the snitch as soon as possible, he wanted to be far away from here.

As soon as the balls were released Harry searched for the snitch, he found it in seconds he flew after it grabbed it and handed it to his dumbstruck father. He then flew back to the changing rooms. Not being able to be in Sirius presence any longer. “Harry, practice isn't over yet” he heard his father call after him, but he couldn't stand it there any longer. Hated the feeling of hate in his body every time he saw a Ravenclaw, thinking about them snogging his Sirius.

“You are Harry, right?” The Ravenclaw seeker asked Harry as he emerged out of the changing rooms.

“Hmm” Harry grunted and tried to walk away, the Ravenclaw seeker hot on his heels.

“I’m”

“Look I really don't care” Harry said. When the seeker still walked next to him and tried to talk to him, anger got the better of him and Harry simply yelled stupefy. He didn't even watch the raven haired boy fall down and just continued his walk, he didn't even know where he wanted to go.

“Detention Mr. Granger” Professor Mcgonagall called, he probably should have checked the area first before hexing someone. “Any reason why you cursed another student?”

‘Yea, he is fucking the boy I love’ Harry thought bitterly. “He wouldn't stop talking to me” Harry said shrugging.

“That is not an excuse to hex other students!” Professor Mcgonagall scoffed. She went to said student, “Enervate”.

“Thank you Professor” He said while glaring at harry. Unimpressed Harry started walking again. Harry went straight to the room of requirements and didn't come out again until breakfast the next day. He specifically asked the room to be left alone. He knew since his dad knew of this place he would search for Harry here first. And he just wanted to be alone right now.

Next morning, Hermione ran to Harry telling him about what Ron had done eagerly, while Ron emerged with a red face. “He charmed the common room full with Flowers made out of my favorite book pages” she said excitedly and Harry smiled at her looking at Ron giving him a proud clap on the back. “Normally I would be mad at someone for destroying books, but Ron assured me that they were fixable since you know, magic” she ranted the grin never leaving her face. “I thought he wouldn't ask me” she stated “that it would be obvious we would be going together” Ron went even redder at that and Harry tried very hard to not laugh outright at that. In her bag Harry could see one of those Flowers Hermione talked about.

“I am so happy for you Hermione” he told his friend and grinned with her.

Hermione blushed, “Who are you taking Harry? 3 weeks is not that long of a time to charm a costume.”

“Hmm?” Harry pretended to not hear her and went to the fill his plate with scrambled eggs and stuffed his mouth full with it, knowing Hermione wouldn't ask him more questions while he ate.

“Mr. Granger, I await you in my office Monday afternoon” Harry groaned a yes, and started eating his scrambled eggs again.

“Detention?” His father asked eagerly, “What did you do?”

“Detention?!, what did you do?” His mother asked horrified.

Harry looked over his parents and shrugged. “Just something you weren't supposed to do” Harry said and tried to return back to his eggs.

“More like, hexing a student” Sirius said looking bored.

“Well maybe you should tell your boyfriend to stop bugging me then!” Harry countered angrily.

“I let my boyfriend know” Sirius countered lazily, ignoring James and Lily's glare.

As said seeker came towards them Harry pushed his plate away angrily and went out of the great hall. He had never before hated someone this badly, and now this someone had ruined his breakfast! Quietly he went to the kitchen.

“What do sir need?” A small house elf asked him.

“Just some breakfast please” He sat down on the table and five house elf came along bringing him dish after dish. Harry thanked them and began eating in silence. Trying to forget about a particular Ravenclaw seeker with Pitch-black hair and Ice blue eyes.

He walked out of the kitchen and before him stood the seeker he tried to avoid. Harry growled lowly.

“Harry!” He yelled

“Leave me alone” Harry grumbled and went to the Gryffindor tower, it being the only place the Ravenclaw couldn't enter.

“My name is Mark” Harry waved his hand in a dismissive manner, but somehow Mark caught it and shook it. Harry glared at him. What did the boy want from him? Rub it in that he was dating the man of his dreams?

“Come on, I just want to talk.” Stated Mark.

Harry ignored him, walking up the stairs. “I saw you play, you are really good” Harry gave him a snort and continued walking. “Would you like” Harry never found out what he would like to do because he simply hexed marks mouth shut.

Sunday went over slowly, Harry went to the dark forest while Hermione and Ron went to Hogsmeade. Since 7th years were allowed every weekend Harry decided he would go another weekend were he would feel a bit better.

Harry tried to transform without a wand and while he did succeed it took him about 10 minutes. 10 times longer than with a wand, for an hour or two he just practiced turning from human to Bolt. Until his best time without a wand was about 8 minutes. Pleased with his accomplishments for a day he walked the path a bit until he smelled a dog. Harry looked around and saw a big black dog covering his face with his paws. He stepped towards the dog he would recognize everywhere.

“Padfoot” Harry said but only a whinny noise escaped him as Bolt. Then he heard it, Padfoot was whimpering on the ground still covering his face with his paws.

Harry too afraid to moved lay down himself following Padfoot's example he covered his face with his hooves, he tried to, it didn't work he wasn't a dog after all. In the end he decided to lay his head down on the side next to his leg, hiding his scar.

He stayed there for a while listening to padfoot’s whimper while joining him softly the large dog seemed to have not noticed him, Harry moved away after it began to get dark, and he went back to his spot to turn back into his human form.

He left the dark forest glancing back one more time, wanting to comfort Padfoot, knowing he wasn't allowed to, Padfoot had gone there because he wanted to be alone after all.

The following week went by in a trance for Harry. He would still sit next to Lily in potions and History. It seemed to him like his mother didn't wanted him to sit next to her ex friend and he obliged. Snape had been trying to talk to him and so has Mark. Both Harry ignored. His detention on Monday wasn't any fun either, first he had to listen to professor Mcgonagall telling him why hexing other students is bad, and then he had to write it down 100 times.

After classes Harry went to the dark forest, searching for Padfoot. Hermione and Ron were busy charming their costumes and he told them he wanted to practice without wand and to his surprise it now took only 4 minutes for him to transform without the wand. He never found Padfoot again, but he lay down in the spot he had seen Padfoot, his fur was still there and it was comforting Bolt in a way only Sirius could ever comfort him. He felt save, laying down on the ground surrounded by black fur that smelled of Padfoot.

“Hi Harry” Mark called him, waving his hand high above his head. Harry groaned and turned to mark, his father and Sirius in front of him stopping as well. The three were heading towards the Quidditch field.

“What?!” Harry snapped, that boy was trying to get his attention for a week now.

“Well, I was trying to ask you since last week, I know it's late, but would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me ? Tomorrow?” He asked shyly.

“You are dating Sirius” Harry exclaimed crossing his arm. Nodding his head in to Sirius direction, who looked at Mark with a murderous glare, next to him James raised his eyebrow.

“No one ever dates Sirius” Mark snorted. “You just have him for an hour before he vanishes for a couple of months”

“Why are you asking me?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows.

“Well you look good” he said while stroking Harry's cheek. Harry took a step back. “But I guess you are jealous of me because you thought I was Sirius boyfriend”

“Why would I be jealous?” Harry said growling “I don't care” James snorted and Harry glared at his father.

“Sure Harry,” He said and stepped forward, he lowered his head and whispered into Harry's ear “ I can make you forget him” Harry was all ears, he wanted nothing more than to make this heartache go away.

Mark grabbed Harry's head gently pressing a kiss on Harry's full lips, he didn't wait for Harry to respond and immediately stuck his tongue inside Harry, exploring the boys mouth. Harry moaned a little as both of their tongues danced together inside Harry's mouth.

Sirius grabbed Harry's arm. Pulling him away from Mark. “We have practice” he growled. Harry still in shock of what just happened nodded dumbly. He looked at his father with a red face who shook his head smiling. He ruffled his sons hair and clapped him on the back.

“Never let it be said that the Potters can't get men or women” he said and Sirius glared at his best friend which James didn't notice.

“Would you like to come to hogsmeade with me?” Mark asked after Harry had finished his practice. James had worn him out today, not allowing him to pull another stunt like last week. Mark kissed Harry again for good measure and repeated the question, his breath brushing Harry's lips. Harry gave him a weak nod and mark pushed the distraught Gryffindor towards the castle. “See you tomorrow Harry” he cheered and went away.

Harry told Hermione and Ron about Mark, Hermione told him he shouldn't go as long as he was still in love with Sirius but Ron waved her away, telling her that if Sirius could throw himself at other boys so could Harry. Harry agreed wholeheartedly with Ron. “Besides how am I supposed to forget about Sirius, if I don't give other people a chance?”

“Harry, how can you give other boys a chance if your mind is still circling around Sirius. That's not fair for the other boys” Hermione huffed but Harry wasn't listening to her anymore.

The next day he went to get his best jeans and t-shirt he got from Dumbledore, bid his parents goodbye and went to wait for Mark at the entrance door of Hogwarts.

James looked worriedly at Sirius who had been angry since yesterday. “Padfoot?”

“I am fine Prongs!” Sirius growled eyes fixating the door Harry had just vanished through.

James looked his friend over. “You sure you don't want to come with us?” Sirius gave him a nod, his jaw clenched, he looked ready to punch someone. James sighed and bid his friend goodbye.

Sirius stood up as well and went to the dark forest.

In three broomsticks Mark continued to snog the breath out of Harry. Only as they wanted to order Harry remembered that he didn't have any money. Mark only kissed him saying he would pay the bill, since he asked Harry out.

Mark ordered 5 shots of firewhiskey for each. “I’d rather have a butter beer” Harry said as he looked at the ten shots in front of him. Mark shushed him with a kiss.

“Cheers” Mark said raising his glass, Harry following his lead.

He hated the burn in his throats the firewhiskey left him with, but he loved Marks tongue that followed after the shot, he could taste the whiskey on Marks tongue. Mark grabbed Harry's hair pulling it lightly, and Harry remembered what Sirius had done and he felt his hands wandering from Marks back to his waist pulling the other boy closer.

The kiss didn't feel anything like Sirius had felt like. Sirius was harsh and gentle, Mark was exploring every inch on his mouth with his tongue, and Harry returning what he learned from both boys.

Mark stopped the kiss now and then to take another shot beckoning Harry to do the same. After the fourth shot Harry felt dizzy, he started laughing, finding everything around him funny.

He looked out the window and for a moment thought he saw Padfoot but with a blink of an eye the dog was gone.

“Want to get a room?” Mark whispered into his ears, while gently biting and nipping on it.

A room? Why would they need a room, Harry thought. “For what?” He laughed, his hand still on the other boys waist, Mark moved to sit on Harry's lap, pressing his erection on the other boys groin.

“So that I could get you out of your clothes of course” Mark countered looking as if that was the most obvious thing. Harry collected himself, and pushed Mark off of him, kissing him to not hurt his feeling. Mark took this as Harry agreeing, he stood up eagerly and pulled Harry with him.“Are you a top of a bottom?” Mark asked suddenly. And again Harry had the feeling as if Mark spoke a language he didn't understand.

“Erm?” Harry rasped and looked at Mark with what he hoped wasn't a confused face

“I’m a bottom” Mark offered.

“Well I wouldn’t say I’m top or bottom?” Harry said and hoped it was the right thing to say, while it was true he wasn't at the top in class but he wouldn't really say that he was in the bottom. He was standard really. He just didn't understand how Mark a Ravenclaw could be bottom? But then again not every Ravenclaw could be top he guessed. He didn't understand why Mark wanted to know but maybe that turned the blue eyed boy on.

“Versatile eh?” Mark smirked.

Mark went and payed for a room beckoning Harry to follow him. Harry took another shot of his firewhiskey and stood to follow Mark but was stopped by an angry looking Sirius.

“Ah Sirius” Mark said softly “care to join us? He is versatile” Sirius raised his eyebrow at the obviously drunk Harry, who shrugged and whispered in his ear that he had no clue what Mark talked about.

“Leave Harry alone!” Sirius growled and slammed Mark against the wall.

“What's your problem?” Mark asked eyeing Sirius warily, “If you want me you just have to say so, I’m sure Harry wouldn't mind waiting downstairs for a while” Mark smirked.

Sirius turned to look at Harry who was laughing and hopped from one foot to another. “Harry love, go wait outside while I take care of this scumbag” Sirius told him gently.

“Sirius?” Harry said and looked at Sirius as if he just saw him.

“Yes Harry, its me” He said softly and pushed him out of the door.

“I missed you” Harry slurred touching Sirius face gently.

Sirius turned back growling, looking at a scared looking Mark. “Look Sirius, I didn't know he was yours” Sirius punched him, not waiting for another explanation.

“You better remember it, Harry is off limit!” Sirius whispered darkly and Mark laughed holding his bloody nose.

“Guess it's true then, Sirius has finally found a boy he wants for more than a fling” Mark chuckled. “You know, I didn't believe Kay when he told me, we had a bet” Sirius growled. “I told him Sirius would never be jealous over some easy boy like Harry”

“He isn't like that!” Sirius punched him again.

“Keep telling yourself that, he was all over me before you entered” Mark rasped out. He slid down on the ground still holding his bloody nose. “Guess we are not going to the ball anymore” Mark chuckled “if you want Harry, you should make sure you keep an eye on him” Mark told him, blue eyes looking directly into grey ones “a lot of boys and girls want a piece of him, he does look like star chaser James Potter but he seems so much nicer and the way he moves his just delicious” Sirius growled and was ready to punch Mark once again, sure he wasn't going to correct Mark, Harry did have a delicious walk, still he didn't want someone like Mark talk about his Harry like that. Like he was a piece of dessert they would like to eat.

Before he could punch Mark again he heard his name being called, he turned around and saw Harry, dancing around the three broomsticks yelling his name. Sirius left mark behind and went out to Harry.

“Stop that! What are you doing?”

“Calling you” Harry laughed with shaking legs he went to Sirius, who ranted about Harry being drunk and kissing anyone he meets for a day

Harry only half listened, he felt great, he felt as if he could do everything. He could probably jump to the moon, he snickered and tried to jump up and down, while Sirius was still dragging him around. “Stop that” Sirius hissed.

“Why are you so angry?” Harry slurred stopping dead in his tracks.

“Because you made out with another boy!” Sirius glared at Harry, pulling him again, Harry shook his head and crossed his arms.

“So do you, all the time” Harry pointed out, his anger rising but the words coming out were still slurred and unclear.

“Harry can we talk about this in our room!” Sirius asked trying pull Harry's upper arm.

“No!” Harry said and sat down

“You’ve got to be kidding me” Sirius sighed “Don't make me carry you up!” Sirius threathened.

Harry giggled and opened his arms in a welcoming manner. Sirius took the smaller boy and threw him over his shoulders. Head down Harry looked around, while Sirius clutched his legs tightly. “If you ever go out with another man,” Sirius growled and spanked Harry's arse “you are a dead man” another spank, Harry tried to free himself but he found out quickly that was impossible, Sirius had beater muscles while Harry was a thin light seeker. “Understood?” Sirius asked with another spank.

“No” Harry growled. “If you can go out, so can I” Harry crossed his arms, his face red from hanging like this. “Let go of me, Sirius!”

“Why?”

“Because!” Harry yelled

“Do you even know what you agreed to do with Mark?” Sirius asked stopping and lowering a shaken Harry down to the ground. He needed to see his face.

“Something about top and bottom” Harry shrugged trying his best to not fall down.

“And you are?” Sirius asked seriously interested.

“Mark said I am versatile, because I told him I am neither top or bottom” Harry said shaking his head “Honestly I am rather standard.”

Sirius snorted “You have no idea what bottom or top is, do you?”

“Erm?, top or bottom in class?” Harry suggested weakly. His head was dizzy and he really wanted to lay down. With shaking legs he dropped down, but before he landed down, Sirius held onto him tightly.

“Lets get you back home, Harry”

“Home” Harry sang and stretched his arms. Sirius once again threw the other boy over his shoulders and gave him another spank, just because.

Sirius placed the smaller boy in his bed and lay down next to him, Harry immediately snuggled close to the body next to him, whispering Sirius name. Sirius never had heard his name sound better than at that moment. Sirius gave him a quick kiss on his sweaty forehead and he closed his eyes for a second, feeling exhausted having carried the boy from hogsmeade to the castle, to the Gryffindor tower. They really should get something that helps to transport you without having to take so many stairs. Tomorrow he would stay away from the boy again, no matter how much he wanted him, this was james’ son. But he would make sure that no one else was taking his Harry away.

  
James walked in to the boys room to a snuggling Harry and Sirius. His first thought was to separate them, his second to get a camera. Sighing he went downstairs to Lily asking for her camera.

Neither one woke up when James shot a picture of them, quietly he left the room again, showing his soon to be girlfriend the picture.

“They look so cute together” Lily cooed.

“I can't believe Harry actually went out with Mark after hexing him” James shook his head in amusement. Remembering how Sirius had walked into the common room with Harry over his shoulders, telling James angrily what had happened refusing to lower a sleeping Harry.

“Well he did hex him because he was jealous, Mark probably talked about wanting to go with Harry instead of Sirius and Harry thought it a good idea because if Sirius can do it so can he.” Lily replied.

“Makes sense” James scratched his head “I guess”

“I can't believe Sirius punched him”

“Left him there with a bloody broken nose” James shook his head chuckling “That’s Sirius for you, quick temper, especially if you mess with what he considers his” James sighed. He knew Harry would be in good hands with Sirius. Sirius would protect him from any danger, not caring if he could get hurt or die as long as he protects the people he loves. But he couldn't stand seeing Sirius heart broken. Then he remembered that currently both boys carried around a broken heart. “What are we gonna do with the two Lils?” He asked tiredly.

Next morning Harry woke up with a headache, Sirius was nowhere in sight and for a moment he thought he had dreamed everything but then he saw the red finger marks on his body that only Sirius could leave. Harry groaned and stood up with shaking legs.

“Morning Harry” his father yelled, which was way to loud for Harry's liking. Slowly he walked to the bathroom which was way to bright for Harry's liking.

“Thanks for bringing him back” James said to Sirius.

“Sure” Sirius said and left the boys room.

At snail speed Harry moved to the Gryffindor table accompanied by Ron and Hermione who were bickering about ideas for their costumes. “Could you please talk somewhere else?” Harry snapped

“It's your own fault for having a headache” Hermione pointed out while Ron gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Harry” Mark yelled, Harry shot his friends a pleading look, he didn't want to deal with this. Mark came towards him his eye black.

“What happened?” Harry gasped, and Mark looked towards Sirius. “Oh”.

“Would you like to be my date for the upcoming Halloween ball?” Mark asked, smirking at Sirius.

“Sorry Mark, but I don't think I am going” Harry shrugged, his head hurt.

“Here” Mark said giving him a vial. Harry eyed it warily “it's a hungover potion, if I had known you can't stand booze I wouldn't have given you so much” he explained. Embarrassed Harry took it muttering out a thank you.

“If you change your mind, I would love to go with you” Mark said and Harry nodded, going to his table.

“What did he want?!” Sirius asked angrily.

“He gave me some hungover potion” Harry said shaking the vial “What's it to you anyway?” Harry groaned rubbing his temple.

“What is it to me?” Sirius repeated.

“Yes!” Harry groaned opening the vial before he could drink it Lily came and sniffed on it. “Lily?” Harry asked.

She shook her head and handed him the vial back, “We talk later” Harry gulped and looked at his friends for help, then at his father who threw his hands in the air in a defensive manner.

He gulped down the vial and felt already much better, his head was free of headache and his body didn't ache anymore with every step he took.

“Mom” he whispered when Lily had taken him to the room of requirements to speak to him.

He looked the room over, it seemed like a park or a really big garden.

“Why were you drunk Harry?” She asked tapping her foot on the ground repeatedly.

“I was on a date” Harry said looking at her foot.

“Why?, I thought you like Sirius”

“What good does that do? He doesn't want me mom! I can't help how I am feeling but I feel like I am being punished for it” Lily looked at him oddly.

“Is this your first heartbreak?” She asked softly. Harry thought it over, he knew he didn't like dean when he was together with Ginny, but he and Ginny hadn't kissed or anything at that time, unlike with Sirius, if it wasn't for the whole future mess they would be together right now.

“I think so” Harry sighed, “I regret telling him, but if I hadn't told him than it would have felt like living a lie”

“You did the right thing in telling him” his mother agreed. “Harry, what were you doing with a boy like Mark?”

Harry looked at the ground embarrassed “He told me he could make me forget about Sirius”

His mother hugged him gently “Oh my poor baby” she said and Harry scoffed lightly, he was not a baby, he could live with Harr-bear, but not with baby or little boy.

“Mom, I’m not a baby, I am 17” Harry pointed out.

“Sorry” she smiled “my big boy” she chuckled and Harry rolled his eyes. “I can teach you a way better way to deal with a broken heart.”

Harry nodded eagerly.

“Come” she said and he followed her back to the common room.

“Finished with the punishment?” His dad snickered “What did she do? Spank you?” James asked and Harry got a memory back where he was hanging on Sirius shoulders who spanked him, he looked scandalized at Sirius, who raised his eyebrows at him.

“We just talked” Harry said slowly

“Sirius!” Lily yelled “I need your guitar” Sirius waved his wand muttering accio guitar and handed it to Lily after it flew to him.

“You can play the guitar?” Harry asked

“Sirius taught me, after I introduced him to Queen and Led Zeppelin.” She smiled, she hushed the boys from the sofa and sat down petting the spot next to her for Harry.

“This Song is called yesterday” She said to Harry and played the guitar softly, Harry felt hypnotized, when his mother began to sing. He had never felt so much at peace before, his mothers voice was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He was afraid to breath, afraid that he would miss her voice over his loud breathing.

As she finished Harry stared at her mouth and eyes wide open “Beautiful” Harry rasped out.

“Thank you Harr-bear” She smiled and kissed his cheek. 

“Can you sing it again?” Harry asked, smiling as she began to play it again. Harry leaned back and listened to the music, to his mothers voice but most importantly to the lyrics that touched his heart deeply. Sirius and James standing behind them, were watching the scene with a smile, one smiling warmly the other sadly.

 


	15. Cold and empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold and italic - parselmouth  
> Italic - songs/thoughts

Harry learned that song quickly, and though his mother taught him other songs as well, not one stuck with him like the song Yesterday.

He had said something wrong and now Sirius was gone. Well it wasn't really wrong what he said, it was the truth. A truth the Black heir couldn't handle. He understood Sirius reasoning, but he had thought Sirius wouldn't start shagging everyone. It hurt him. Sirius had the nerve to be angry at him for going on a date, but Harry had to sit and watch Sirius going out with every gay boy in Hogwarts that wasn't in a relationship or in Slytherin and Gryffindor.

If Sirius hadn't done it, at least Harry could have lived with knowing Sirius didn't want to date his godson. But his heart couldn't stand the pain any longer. Knowing Sirius was snogging someone else days after he told Harry he wasn't just a fling.

Seems like Harry was even less than that.

Sirius watched Harry guiltily singing that song day in day out, Harry sung it in the shower, while doing homework, going from one class to the next, and when he didn't sing it he hummed it. After a week he couldn't take it anymore and he almost took his guitar and smashed it on the ground, but he knew that wouldn't stop the small boy from singing it, that would only prevent Lily from teaching him other songs. Sirius couldn't deny how happy Harry looked every time Lily began playing and he just couldn't destroy that.

He couldn't even enjoy Harry's beautiful voice, because all he heard was the pain and sadness in it. Knowing the he was the one that caused it. Every word caused Sirius heart to die a little, piece by piece it fell apart, that song leaving Harry's mouth in a sad whisper was his personal hell.

He too longed for yesterday, when he had first kissed Harry and felt like the world made finally sense, when he looked into emerald green eyes and saw love, love different then he had ever experienced. He wanted Harry, wanted to make him blush, wanted Harry to peck his lips, wanted Harry to just stare into his eyes longingly. But he wasn't sure what to do? As far as he could see he had three options.

Firstly he could ask James to obliviate him. This would at least erase his pain, though Harry would still be left hurt and alone. Not to mention he wanted to remember Harry, wanted to feel the warmth feeling he got every time Harry said his name. Secondly he could act like now, pretending Harry didn’t stole his heart, and hurting Harry in the process. Or lastly he could man up and tell James how he felt about his son and ask for his blessing.

He didn't like any choice he had.

Sirius stood up from his bed and started pacing, giving Remus a pained look, asking him for the answer of his unspoken question. He couldn't ask his question without sounding whiny, and that just wasn't Sirius Black, Sirius black didn't whine when his parents cursed him, he didn't whine when Regulus pretended he had no brother, Merlin, He didn't whine when he had no more home, he stood in front of James and smiled telling him he was finally free from his family while inside he was a mess. Sure, he hated his parents but every child wants to be loved, knowing his family didn't love him hurt in a way Sirius thought he could never recover from.

But then Harry came a long and turned his whole world upside down by simply looking at him, as if Sirius was the best thing that had ever happened, as if he wasn't a disappointment, wasn't a waste of space. No, Harry looked at him with love, as if he was the only person that mattered, the only person that will ever matter, with longing as if Sirius was a drug Harry was addicted to.

James looked at Sirius and saw a brother he never had, Remus looked at him like he was the friend he was never before allowed to have, Peter, the traitorous rat, looked at him as if he was a powerful hero that would always protect him. But Harry? Harry looked at him and saw everything that no one else saw. Sirius felt naked in front of Harry's eyes. Harry looked and saw a boy that wanted nothing more than be loved for himself not what everyone else wanted him to be. He was not a brother Harry never had, not a friend he so badly wanted, not a protector, though he would always protect Harry. In Harry's eyes he was only Sirius, not Sirius Orion Black, only Sirius. Not a dark wizard from a noble and ancient house, not a slightly insane and unstable young lad, not a drunk, not Hogwarts hottest bachelor and playboy. He was only Sirius, every time he stared into those eyes he was free. He was alive. He was finally able to breath.

“What's wrong Pads?” Remus sighed, when Sirius continued to look at him with a pained expression.

“Nothing” Sirius said defeatedly while slumping down on the floor.

“Harry?” Remus guessed and Sirius hesitantly nodded, “What's the problem?”

“What's the problem? He is my best friends son! What's the problem, he asked” Sirius threw his hands up in the air giving Remus a ridiculous look.

“Did James say anything?” Remus questioned.

“He doesn't have to” Sirius told Remus as if it was obvious, “How would you feel if I dated your son”

“Well, I don't know” Remus admitted. Sirius looked even more pained at that declaration. “Talk to James”

“And tell him what? That I want to fuck his son? His heir? The result of his and Lily's love?”

“You are being dramatic” Remus rolled his eyes. “Besides, do you only just want to sleep with Harry?”

“No” Sirius grudgingly admitted. If he only wanted that it would have been so much easier.

“Harry is downstairs, why don't you talk to him”

“And say what?” Sirius gasped, he was never good with words.

“Apologise for being a dick?” Remus suggested “Or you could say hi?” Sirius stared at Remus

“I don't know why I always go to you and James for dating advice seeing how you both suck at it. Say hi. Just grab him and kiss him. Honestly” Sirius stated and Remus snickered. Sirius stood up to leave for the Common room to where Harry would be.

“Hi Harry” He said softly, masking away his nervousness with a smile. Green eyes found him and Sirius tried to hide his frown, he hated to see those eyes in pain. He still couldn't believe he had taken Remus advice not that he would tell said boy that he had.

“Hi Sirius” Harry said while standing up “Bye Sirius” he dragged his two best friends out of the common room. Sirius sighed and sat down on the sofa not realising Peter was next to him. He deserves that, he supposed, he knew he had messed up, he just hoped somehow he could fix it.

“He is in a bad mood” Peter observed, and Sirius head snapped up, he quickly left the common room without another glance at a confused looking Peter.

“We do it this Halloween” Harry told them.

“Harry, I really want to go to the ball” Ron sighed, he had almost finished charming his costume and he was really proud of it too. It was a couple outfit with Hermione of course but also could be an individual outfit. The costumes had of course been her idea but he had to admit it was smart and funny.

“You can still go,” Harry sighed. “It won't take the whole night, just an hour. It's perfect! Everyone is at the ball, all teachers and most importantly Dumbledore”

“Alright” Ron sighed. He looked at Hermione who had been rather quiet.

“Harry, I have been thinking” Hermione stated worriedly “Do we really need the poison of a basilisk?”

Both boys gave Hermione a look that stated she was stupid for asking that question.

“Why should we kill it?!” Hermione crossed her arms “I get it, it's a basilisk and slightly dangerous, that doesn't mean it deserves to die” Hermione said and Harry was sure the very much deadly animal would kill them without hesitating.

“We don't have to kill it,” Harry said slowly, “just either take its tooth or”

“Or kill it” Hermione finished sighing.

“I don't know any other way to destroy a Horcrux, Shaggy” Harry said pacing up and down the room, “and we don't have time, we don't know how long we’ve got”

“I don't agree with just killing it” Hermione crossed her arms.

“So what do we do if it attacks us?” Ron asked feeling the urge to scream in panic.

“We turn into our animal form and run out of there” Hermione said proudly as if she had planned this for months and it was foolproof.

“How far along are you guys in transforming without a wand? I still need practice” Harry confessed “I still need about two minutes.”

“That's better than me, I still need 3-4” Ron sighed.

“Same” Hermione said, looking as if her plan might not been fully thought out yet.

“We still have a week” Harry pointed out. “The ones that can't transform in seconds aren't allowed in” Harry said and as Ron and Hermione opened their mouths to protest he said with a stern voice “I won't be taking any chances!”

Ron sighed knowing it would be useless to argue with Harry about this, Harry was too afraid to lose anymore friends and family to this war.

“I’ll search the library for another way” Hermione told them, leaving for the library immediately after both boys nodded.

“Watch out, she is gonna start a new club soon, BAM, Basilisk Are Misunderstood” Harry said remembering S.P.E.W

“Then I make my own BARF; Basilisk Are Rightfully Feared” Ron shook his head laughing, “Anything we need, before Halloween?”

“We need Dumbledore’s password,” Harry said “stay as Ruddy near the door and wait until you hear it” Ron nodded and put on his concentrating face Harry recognised as Ron turning into Ruddy. True to Ron's word it took him about 4 minutes.

Harry left the room of Requirements as well in search for Hagrid, only to walk into Sirius who stood in front of the wall pacing.

“I didn't know how to open the door” Sirius explained. Ruddy quickly run away when Sirius questionably looked at the weasel, “I didn't know you own a ferret” he told Harry who had to hide his laughter by coughing.

“What are you doing here?” Harry questioned

“I was looking for you” Sirius said shyly and Harry had thought he saw the black heir blush.

“You found me.” Harry said while walking away, Sirius following his every step. “What is it Sirius” aren't there any Ravenclaws left he added bitterly in his mind, he hated feeling jealous.

“Can we talk” Sirius asked softly

Harry remained silent not even looking at Sirius who was running slightly to keep up with Harry's fast walking.

“I never meant to hurt you” Sirius panted slightly, Harry looked at him funnily.

“You spanked me” Harry said with an accusing finger pointed at Sirius.

“Harry, I never meant to hurt you” Sirius repeated weakly.

“Then what were you trying to do?” Harry sighed seeing that he couldn't avoid this talk any longer.

“Trying to forget you” Sirius winced.

Harry froze and turned to look at him the hurt evident in his eyes. “Well, I guess it's nice to know that I am that easy to forget” Harry said raking his fingers to his hair looking very much defeated.

“You're not” Sirius said hurriedly. “That's not what I meant” He said urgently needing Harry to believe him.

“Sirius,” Harry began walking again.

“You are not, you are always in my mind, every where I look, I see you!” Sirius said. “Look Harry, I can't promise you happy ever after” Sirius said, “I never had a boyfriend, never committed to anything” Sirius listed and Harry stopped him.

“That's not the problem, the problem is, I am Harry Potter and not Harry Granger” It felt ironic, in his time Everyone wanted him because he was Harry Potter, but the man he wanted didn't want him because of his name.

“It was a shock” Sirius admitted looking deeply into Harry's eyes, “I mean, how did you think I would feel when you told me the truth? I am your godfather” Sirius grumbled.

“I already felt that! How did you think I felt when I realised I fell in love with my godfather? The man I believed I had killed! My fathers best friend!” Harry ranted and Sirius opened his mouth but was silenced when green eyes looked angrily at him. “I could have lived with only friendship, but guess I am not even worth that to you”

“I couldn't live with only friendship” Sirius said in a broken whisper “I wanted more, I still do” Harry gave him a snort but didn't look at him and only stared straight ahead “Harry, I miss you” Sirius almost whined.

“I- I can't” Harry said weakly looking at the ground. He couldn't go through that pain once again. Pain that was worse than getting crucioed by the dark lord

Sirius heart stopped beating, the feeling of warmth leaving him, he felt dead, back was the feeling he always had before Harry came along.

He pinned the small boy to the wall, his head pressed onto the cool stone wall next to Harry's head, “Please Harry, one chance, is all I’m asking for” Sirius begged, he couldn't be cold again, he needed Harry. Needed the love Harry had been willing to give him before he had messed up.

Harry sighed, “I- I will leave this time, I don't see how it would work out anyway, this had been a mistake from the beginning” Sirius didn't want to hear it, couldn't, he felt himself dying. Felt like a disappointment, he had failed his Harry, had turned the love in the boys eyes into sadness.

“Then let's spend as much time together until you have to leave” Sirius suggested, and his world changed into a dark and cold hell with a shake of Harry's head. He pressed his eyes close to prevent the threatening tears to fall down his face, but he felt Harry pushing him away slightly so that he could duck down and move away from him. Leaving him all alone behind. Cold and empty.

The last thing he thought he heard was Harry sniffling a ‘sorry, I cant’. Sirius only opened his eyes and removed himself from the wall when he didn't hear Harry's footsteps any longer, he wanted to follow but what would be the point? Wanted to wait for said boys return, but he knew that wouldn't happen. Harry was gone, he walked out of Sirius’ life.

There was only one place Sirius wanted to be right now, and although risky without having the cloak he couldn't bring himself to care, and left.

3 hours later Sirius walked back from the three broomsticks, he wavered from one side to another, he had done it again, drown his pain in alcohol. But not even alcohol could numb his pain this time. He walked back into the common room where James was sitting next to Lily, talking about the almost finished Halloween costumes.

“James, I can help you” Lily sighed as James shook his head.

“No, it's almost finished. I want it to be a surprise” James said and he looked at Sirius trying to walk the stairs up. James left Lily in seconds to be by his side.

“Let's get you up” James said walking Sirius to their room. “What happened, was it Regulus, Snape?” Sirius shook his head.

“I- James it hurts, make it stop” He whined, he never whined. But Harry turned his world upside down.

“Where did they hex you?” James urgently asked, looking his friend over, who looked fine except for the pained expression he wore that freaked James out slightly

“I wanted to, wanted to go back with Harry” Sirius slurred his eyes watery, never before had he felt like this.

“What did he say?” James asked softly, he knew the answer of course.

“He doesn't want me anymore” Sirius whispered his voice not strong enough to continue. “James, Prongs, I know he is your son, but I love him. Merlin, I love him” He sobbed and threw himself at James in a very unsirius way “He hates me”

This was exactly what he wanted to prevent from happening. James had no words, his thoughts whirled around. What could he say? His best friend was heartbroken, his first heartbreak because of his son, who had every right to be angry because he was heartbroken since his best friend was shagging around. There were no words.

James guided Sirius into his bed, and closed the curtain. He put an hungover potion on the nightstand next to his bed and returned to Lily.

She stroke James arm gently who looked as pained and hurt as Sirius did.

“He has never loved someone,” James said, “always said love was a curse that would bring only pain and suffering. Merlin, he loves my son” James whispered and looked at Lily who looked sadly at the boys dorm. She hadn't known that about Sirius, she thought he just didn't want to commit, liked changing around without having a care for other people's feelings and also thought of James the same way. She was proofed wrong and she was never happier and sadder to be wrong.

“Do you have something against it? Then you should tell him James”

“I should, shouldn't I?” James asked, “But the truth is, I have never seen Sirius so happy and free like when he was with Harry” James shook his head “I just want them to be happy, but both are in pain” Lily looked at James as if she saw him for the first time.

“I think” Lily started “I would have had something against it” James looked at her ready to defend his best friend “but since I saw how happy Harry was whenever Sirius was by his side, how could I deny my son happiness?” She questioned. “I am so worried Sirius will hurt him” James didn't know what to say, he knew Sirius would have never admitted that he loved Harry hadn't he been drunk, but even he knew Sirius reputation, knew many Ravenclaws, Sirius had snugged in to the tower to spend the night with.

“Sirius wouldn't do that intentional” James sighed taking his long fingers through his hair and not to messy it up or to look arrogant but in a defeated way, much like Lily had seen Harry do it sometimes. “He is just, this would be his first relationship, this is his first crush, he just doesn't know how to do things Lils”

“I know” she said softly.

  
“Bad news” Harry sighed as the trio once again met in the room of requirements which had become their headquarters. “Hagrid has no roosters, some students thought it to be funny to let the chicken out in the forest and see how long they would survive.” he scratched his head “They lasted about 20 minutes”

“Could that have been the Marauders?” Ron asked chuckling

“That was Hagrid’s first guess as well” Harry smiled

“Password is Salted Caramel” Ron said

“Great, now all we need is the Phoenix, sword and to practice our animagus transformation.” He told them happily. The trio returned to their common room, nervously, in one week they would be facing a basilisk. Even though Harry won't allow them, Ron and Hermione still would come with him, being able to transform in seconds or not. They might stay silent for now but both knew they would stubbornly go with Harry, Harry would have to hex them or chain them up in order for them to not follow him. Both hoped Harry hadn't changed that much to actually do that.

“Hi Harry” Remus waved him over to the sofa, Lily and James not far away from him currently whispering to each other.

“Hi Moo-“ Harry rasped “Hi Remus” he corrected himself, as he sat down next to the young werewolf.

“Harry we are going to do the potions essay” Hermione said and Ron dragged her into the dark corner

“You are fooling no one” James laughed beside Lily who snickered as well but told James off.

Harry laughed as he saw his best friends red faces and Hermione only waving her parchment in to the air, he then turned his attention back to Remus. “You can call me Moony” Remus said with raised eyebrows but all Harry heard was his dream Remus telling Harry to not call him that. “I wanted to ask, do you have a date for the ball already?” Harry glanced Remus over, did he know that little about ‘his family’ how many were gay or bisexual?

“I’m not going” Harry said sharply. How come Remus and Peter had no problem with him being their best friends son but Sirius did.

“So I’ve heard” Remus said softly his eyes glancing to the boys room. “Would you like to go with me?”

Harry sighed and shook his head

“As friends!” Remus corrected “Nothing against you, but you aren't my type” Remus said “I like” and he gestured with his hands in front of his chest that Harry was sure were supposed to be breast.

“Then why not ask them?” Harry rolled his eyes, he pulled his legs up to his chest and searched the room for Sirius.

“I, you know about my problem” Remus whispered into his ear and Harry looked at him confused. “I can't go on dates with someone, it would make girls think I wanted something from them and I would have to find thousand excuses to avoid or shake them off again” Remus shrugged.

“But at Quidditch” Harry began but Remus answered before Harry could finish his question

“That was just for fun, Harry. And she knows it too, I have the wrong equipment for her liking” He said laughing “I am still shocked I am going to marry and have a child” he said softly looking at the ground longingly. “I always wanted to have a big family, but with my disease I thought it not possible to have friends yet alone children or a wife.” Harry smiled softly at him. Deciding not to tell Remus how he had freaked out when he found out about Tonks being pregnant.

“I don't see what that's got to do with me going to the ball with you?” Harry said confused

Remus laughed his loud laugh that was always contagious to Harry, but at the moment Harry didn't feel like laughing his thoughts on Sirius who wanted another chance and Harry had turned him down, but there were no second chances in his time. He didn't get a second chance when he had caused Sirius death. Didn't get a second chance when he heard Hermione being tortured. He had to sit there listening to his friends scream not being able to do anything. There where no second chances to save anyone. Except for now, he thought grudgingly. This was his second chance, being able to prevent it all from happening. Maybe Sirius deserved a second chance? But he didn't think his heart could survive it.

“Well, I usually go with Peter,” Remus admitted “but you surely can understand why I told him I would be going with you”

“Erm no, I do not understand” Harry said avoiding amber eyes.

“Harry I heard you and Sirius that night, I know about the rat” Remus spat “my disease” he reminded Harry as he looked at Remus with big eyes.

“Why did you say you were going with me?”

“Well, James is going with Lily” He pointed out and Harry knew Sirius was going with a Ravenclaw. “And though Sirius doesn't have a date anymore, Peter wouldn't believe me if I had said I would go with Sirius.”

“What do you mean he doesn't have a date?” Harry said, his mouth felt numb, he had felt so down hearing Sirius having a date already.

“Sirius broke his dates nose when you went out with him” Harry groaned and threw his head back which caught the attention of his parents.

“You okay Harry?” James asked worriedly.

“Splendid” Harry said glaring at the ceiling, before returning his attention back to Remus. “I can't believe you said I was going with you” He shook his head and Remus raised his eyebrow

“Marauder” Was all he said as explanation.

“What if I say no?”

“Then I won't go either, guess we would be stuck together in the common room then” Remus said smiling, knowing exactly Harry would go with him.

“I don't have a costume” Harry tried once more.

“Don't worry about that, I’ll think of something” He smirked and Harry was afraid to even think of what he would have to wear. Remus knew the perfect costume he could wear that would make Sirius head spin around and maybe cheer his friend up a little.

Everyday for the next week no one saw the trio except in class, they didn't even show up for breakfast, lunch or dinner. The marauders weren't worried though knowing the trio were eating in the kitchen. The marauders were worried as to why the trio was missing.

At the end of the week Harry could transfer in second while Ron and Hermione needed 30 seconds to one minute.

“Tomorrow is a big day” Harry sighed, seeming satisfied with his friends progress, enough to let them join on their little adventure “lets go get some sleep” all three knowing they wouldn't get much sleep because of their nerves.

“You go on a head,” Ron told him, “I still need some last minute changes on my costume” he said and waved at Hermione to help him. Harry still had no clue what they were going as and neither did he know what he was going to wear, he just hoped Remus Lupin wasn't that different from their time to this time.

Harry walked up quietly, his mind on possible costumes, mouse and ferret for Hermione and Ron would have been funny. Though he doubted they would do that.

He was about to enter their room when he heard someone play the guitar and sing

 _"You told me you don't want my lovin’ anymore_  
_That's when it hurt me_  
 _and feeling like this I just can't go on anymore_  
 _Please remember how I feel about you_  
 _I could never really live without you_  
 _So come on back and see_  
 _just what you mean to me_  
 _I need you"_

Harry had never heard Sirius play the guitar, never heard the boy sing but he knew it was him, there was no denying it.

Harry's body was filled with pain as he heard Sirius sing it alone in the boys room. He sat down against the door and leaned his head against it, listening to Sirius singing his pain away. Pain Harry had caused him. Harry felt both pain and pleasure.

Pain because it was obvious from Sirius voice how much he meant every word he sung.  
Pleasure because he meant every word he sung.

The next day at 7 pm the Gryffindor tower was a mess, everyone was yelling and throwing stuff around, some people stood in front of the entrance door waiting to be picked up by their date while others yelled for other students to move wanting to go out to pick up their dates. A few first years were near tears when their last minutes charms didn't work and some older students took pity on them and helping them seeing how first years were only allowed out till ten pm and so were in a hurry to leave immediately.

James was in the bathroom with Peter, much to Sirius dismay but that wasn't what angered him. Neither was Ron the reason behind Sirius murderous glare, the red haired boy bugged him slightly when he asked for a last minute fixing spell on his hair. Really, did Sirius look like he needed a spell on his hair? That was all natural. No the reason for Sirius anger was behind the curtains of Remus bed. Sirius could only hear it, but he heard it pretty well, Sirius could hear Harry grunting and groaning. He was certain he heard him moan Remus name. He heard Remus low chuckle and heard how the bed creaked seductively. Without another glance at Ron who had repeated the question at him, he left for the ball. If Harry thought he would sit here crying than he was wrong! He would drink and dance, but he wouldn't make out with other boys, he learned his lesson. He slammed the door shut feeling betrayed by his best friend and the boy he loved.

Harry's head peeked up behind the curtains and Remus followed, he was so excited for Sirius reaction to Harry's costume. Ron gave Harry a shrug and he asked Harry for fixing spells on his hair, not yet wearing his costume. “Ron do I look like someone who knows hair charms?” He chuckled tensely pulling on his messy hair.

“Remus stop jumping up and down already!” He then snapped and Remus looked apologetically at Harry.

“Come on Harry, wear it, or I’ll make you” Remus said

“Remus” Harry groaned “I am not wearing that” Harry glared at Remus who showed him his costume. Which consisted on dog ears and a black long tail. Remus ignored him and charmed Harry's current clothing black and tighter making it look like his skin. Harry went bright red. “Stop that!” He said while trying to cancel the spell, but it wouldn’t change back to normal.

“Sorry Harry, only I can turn it back, marauder spell, used for pranking usually” Remus told him smugly, while charming his dog ears, and his tail on, both charmed to come ‘alive’ once placed. His tail was down tuck in between his legs and his ears turned back. “Seems like your angry” Remus chuckled as he looked Harry over.

Harry didn't even respond to Remus and just left for the common room to wait for his friend, trying to ignore the eyes on him or his barely there costume.

Harry sat down on the sofa waiting for the others to come down, his mothers camera in his hands ready to shoot a picture of everyone, and a pillow covering his body. The first one to appear was Ron, he wore a brown shirt and brown pants where steam was coming out and on top of his head was a white substance that looked suspiciously like whip cream “Ron?” Harry laughed and Ron grinned at his best friend

“You will get it when Hermione comes out,” he said shrugging “she said it was a muggle thing” Ron glanced Harry up and down while blushing. “Wow. Erm. That is some tight clothing” Harry groaned while cursing Remus into oblivion in his mind. “Are you supposed to be Padfoot?” He questioned and that thought hadn't even occurred Harry.

“Remus picked the outfit and only he can change it back, some pranking spell the marauders invented” Harry told him “I thought I was just a dog” Harry mumbled.

Harry didn't have to wait long for Hermione, Ron had laughed a bit at Harry and his unfortunate costume when she appeared.

Her hair was grey and she wore a white moustache, an old gentleman suit and when she looked at Harry she stuck out her tongue. “Einstein and pie?” Harry guessed and Hermione beamed “it fits you two” he told them and motioned them closer so that he could take a picture.

“I thought so” then she looked at Harry “are you supposed to be Padfoot” Ron snickered next to her. Harry just shrugged, honestly he wouldn't put it past Remus. “Harry, I want a picture of the three of us together”

“I can take it” Peter suggested through his rotten teeth, his face covered in bruises and blood while looking unnaturally pale.

“Zombie?” Harry asked and Peter nodded while glancing Harry up and down his gaze lingering at Harry's groin with hungry eyes. Harry handed him the camera and moved behind Ron, hiding his body and only showing his head.

“Harry, I can't see you” Peter said chuckling and never before had Harry felt this uncomfortable he really would hex Remus if he didn't cancel the spell soon.

Harry stepped beside Ron who chuckled at Harry, Harry grinned mischievously and threw himself at Ron pretending to eat him while Hermione next to them laughed so hard she fell on the floor as well. Peter put the camera on the ground leaving for his date with a last glance at Harry's arse.

The trio still lay on the floor laughing when James joined them. The trio stared at James trying to figure out what he was supposed to be, he looked like a werewolf on a suit. Awkwardly Harry stood up trying to hide between Hermione and Ron, and failing “Nice costume, Padfoot will love it, that narcissistic git” James chuckled at Harry's uncomfortable face. “Cheer up, son.” Harry only gave him a finger in response making James laugh even harder.

“What are you supposed to be?” Ron and James asked each other at the same time.

“Pie”  
“A beast”

James struggled to put a rose in his from pocket “Let me” Harry offered and took the rose from James claw like hand. He carefully placed the rose in its place when a petal fell down “shit, sorry”

“Don't let your mother hear you curse” James chuckled “Don't worry it's meant to do that. I charmed it, every hour a petal falls down” Harry stared at him, rose, falling petals, a beast then it clicked, he had heard the story before, had read it in kindergarten.

“How do you know the muggle story?”

“What muggle story?” Ron asked beside him.

“Beauty and the beast” Harry and Hermione said at the same time.

“It’s your mothers favourite novel”

“Novel?” Harry whispered but Hermione heard him.

“It was a French novel before it became a kids story”

Remus came down as well his shirt ripped showing his chest covered in a claw like scar, which was covered in blood, he had a bite mark on his neck and bruises on his arms. “Harry your costume isn't finished yet” Remus told him ignoring Harry's glare, while waving a bottle consisting fake blood.

“What are you supposed to be anyway?!”

“Your victim” Remus smirked

Harry rolled his eyes “Change my clothes back” and Remus shook his head stubbornly.

Further argument was cut off when Lily came down, she wore a big yellow princess gown, her flaming re hair put neatly up except for a few strands of hair that fell down the sides of her face, she wore red lipstick that matched her hair and made her face appear even paler. Harry had never before seen someone so beautiful. “You look beautiful mo… Lily” Harry said glancing around seeing the other students who were getting ready.

“Thank you Harr” she said kissing his cheek.

James seemed to have recovered his voice as he rasped out that Lily was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

“You actually listened when I told you about my favourite book?” Lily sounded astound and James rolled his eyes.

“Is known to happen from time to time”

Both smiled at each other when a light flashed them and both looked at Harry who smiled sheepishly holding the camera in his hands. James came over handed the camera to Remus and dragged Harry in the middle of them.

His father placed his left hand on Harry's left shoulder, much like Harry had seen purebloods take pictures, his right hand was around Lily's waist pulling her close. Lily's hand was stroking through his messy hair gently and his dog ears gave appreciative twitches. Harry looked happily from his father to his mother, his right cheek covered in red lipstick, his mother gave him.

“Lily” Harry called her before she and James could even think of leaving. His mother looked gently at him “Can you charm my clothing back to normal or at least not so tight?” Harry went red as he felt other students eyes on him.

“Let me try” Lily said. But both James and Remus laughed. Lily raised her eyebrow looking offended and Harry groaned knowing it was no use. “Think I can't do it, Potter?”

“Sorry Lils, but you can't” James said though he stopped laughing “it's a marauder spell” he told her and her glare intensified

“You prank your own son?” She whispered darkly and Harry glanced worriedly between his parents.

“Of course I would” James shrugged “but this was Remus doing, and only Remus can undo the spell, that's how the charm works, only the wand used to create the spell can undo it” James stated proudly.

“So technically I could take Remus wand and undo the charm?” Harry asked with a twinkle in his eyes that Remus didn't like at all.

“If you know the counter spell” his father laughed at Harry's outraged face “have I told you how much I love you?” James asked jokingly when Harry gave James a betrayed look.

Harry flinched and froze, his eyes fixated on the ground. Lily and James shared a look, had no one ever told their son that they loved him? Lily thought back on what Harry had told them, she knew he grew up with Petunia and her husband and was treated like a house elf, or mostly ignored so they would have never said that to him. Peter was dead, Remus was his professor so no way a professor would say that to his student unless said teacher wanted to spend some time in Azkaban, and Sirius had just escaped out of Azkaban being around dementors for how many long years he surely hadn't said it to Harry either when he just got to know Harry. Lily felt a sudden pain at that.

Before anything could be said or done Harry moved to the entrance door ignoring his friends pitying looks, forgetting about too tight clothing. “We should go” Harry said, remembering this was Halloween, this was the day his parents died and he never got the chance to tell them how much he loved them, and he wasn't old enough to remember hearing his parents say that to him. He doesn't remember anyone saying that to him.

He left the common room and Ron and Hermione hurried after him. “You okay Harry?”

“Fine” Harry groaned. He really did hate that question.

“Is the plan still on?” Ron whispered after shaking his head at Hermione who was opening her mouth again.

Harry nodded, he turned around to see his parents and Remus walking behind them, his parents looking sadly at him and Harry smiled at them pretending to be fine, the last thing he wanted was his parents to be sad, or for them to know how little love Harry had in his life. He looked at his friends whom he loved more than anyone and gave them a true smile.

Loud music filled the great hall, the four house tables were gone. And all in all the great hall reminded him more of a grave yard than of the great hall. Though the floor looked like dirt he knew it was charmed much like the ceiling, Harry jumped slightly has he saw a hand grabbing at his right foot on the ground and only relaxed when he remembered it was not real and only a charmed floor. The walls were decorated with hanging skulls and blood drops. “Poor first years” Harry whispered “they gonna have nightmares” he walked past a skull who suddenly jerked and grabbed Harry's arm, Harry instinctively took his wand and cursed the decoration while his friends laughed the three people behind him shared a sad look, none wanting Harry having to fear for his life from an early age.

“Harry it's just decoration” She said softly.

“Yeah” He rubbed the back of his neck, his ears twitching and his tail tugged between his legs looking embarrassed “Don't know what I was thinking, not like there are any death eaters here after me” he chuckled not noticing his parents flinch. Harry looked the rest of the hall over seeing some skulls on the ground that were either trying to bite people passing or screaming a high pitched scream. The hall was dark much to Harry's liking, no one could see his costume clearly, the only lightning were the candles that floated above them, it gave the hall a creepy look, not that it was needed Harry thought looking at the moving skeletons and the floor.

The trio just needed to be Seen for a while before Hermione and Ron would snug off to break into Dumbledores office. Harry couldn't stop the uneasy feeling he had. Ron dragged a laughing Hermione to the dance floor while mouthing at Harry midnight.

“Here” Remus stood beside him handing him some punch “its spiked” he told him as Harry chuckled after drinking it “don't drink more than two glasses, it contains a liquid designed to make people feel like they are on drugs”

“Who spiked it?” Harry asked horrified though he felt that he didn't really care.

“Some people you don't know” Remus winked at him and harry looked at his father in shock as he saw he brought a bottle of his own for Lily.

“And you gave me a spiked drug glass of punch because…?”

“It's not an actual drug, it's a liquid designed to make you feel happy and carefree, no drugs” James said from his side.

“You need to relax and have fun” Remus shrugged “You know you still have lipstick on your cheek right?” Remus asked amused, their costumes didn't really match now, Harry didn't took the fake blood and so didn't look like a vicious Grimm.

Harry felt silly but he didn't want to wipe his mothers affection away so he plainly ignored Remus.

Remus and Harry stood behind while James and Lily went dancing, together with some of their many friends. Harry looked around and saw many costumes and though most were scary, they were fictional scary, like a zombie, a beast, he thought he saw someone charm their blanket to make him look like a ghost, muggle ghost, he was just a blanket with holes for his eyes and his mouth. But everyone seemed to have fun.

It reminded him being back in Yule ball when he and Ron sat on the side watching everyone else. His eyes were searching for Sirius, but he just couldn't find him.

“He is there” Remus interrupted the silence

Harry looked to where Remus pointed and true, there he stood. Leaned against the wall with his own bottle in his hands. Looking rather like an art painting than a real human being. He looked perfect standing there, his eyes were closed and his hair fell into his face. It seemed messier and unkempt. He seemed to enjoy the music and his own drink more then the party himself. Harry could see him tapping his foot from time to time, taking a sip from his bottle and banging his head, otherwise he didn't move.

He wore a black and red robe with black pants. He looked not dressed, more like a pureblood would dress up everyday, but as Harry looked around that's how most slytherins were dressed. The only difference were the colors, no Slytherin wore red, and the style. Sirius looked like he came from a fairytale and he was the Prince.

“What is he supposed to be?”

“Gaston” Remus told him smiling “want to go over there?” Harry shook his head quickly.

He watched his parents instead, both dancing looking happy and worry-free. From time to time lily would talk to her friends alive and Marlene while James would talk to frank or Marlene's date. Then he would steal his date away again and dance happily with Lily, not knowing that on this day a few years later they would die, leaving harry all alone. Harry winced and the feeling of happiness he had felt just moments ago thanks to the drug left him quickly.

“Want to dance?” Remus asked and Harry looked shocked remembering the Yule ball. “Have you never danced before?” Harry shrugged embarrassingly and remus groaned pulling Harry onto the dance floor. “Just move to the music” Remus told him.

Harry glanced around and no one did dance like at the Yule ball, some were looking rather seductively Harry mused the way some couples pressed their bodies together and moved their bodies as one. Harry looked back at Remus who was dancing looking very free and happy. Harry decided to just copy Remus. Sometimes Remus came to his aid placing his hands on Harry's waist and shaking it from left to right, or he would lean closer to him and just whisper in his ear how much fun he had and thank Harry for coming with him to which Harry always gave him a smile. After a while Harry danced on his own, he jumped a little when the music got rockier, he swayed his hips from left to right, threw his hands up in the air, and he even laughed and had fun. He forgot time and mission as he danced until he felt as if he was being watched, nervously he glanced around until his eyes found a clock, showing it was almost 12 pm already.

“I’ll go get something to drink” he told Remus who gave him a thumps up and got back to his dancing “do you want something?” Remus shook his head.

Harry looked the room over, searching for his two friends, who were dancing near the punch table, he almost choke on air when he saw hermione’s back pressed closely against Ron and shaking her arse against his groin. That was something he didn't want to see. Ever. He wondered why they would dance like that.

“You two been drinking the punch?” He asked worriedly both nodded

“It's delicious” Ron said waving his hands in the air, Hermione following his lead and she stepped away from him and towards Harry, she waved at him

“Hi Harry” she laughed

“It's spiked” Harry told them and Hermione gasped before she giggled.

“You know that actually makes sense!” She told him “I wondered why I felt so odd drinking it” next to her Ron nodded quickly. “It doesn't taste like alcohol though” she mused and went to sniff on the punch “doesn't smell like it either” she told them, Ron looking very astound while Harry groaned.

“We should do it another time”

“Nu-uh” Hermione shook her head and poked Harry in his ribs “I worked so hard! So hard! We doing this now! Come on Ronni” she said pulling Ron into a heated kiss and then dragged him of the hall.

The uneasy feeling overcame Harry again but he was stopped from preventing his friends from stealing stuff from Dumbledore in a drunk state by Sirius, who chose that moment to stand in front of him. Harry tried to move to the right but Sirius blocked the path, with horror Harry looked how Hermione and Ron vanished through the door, he glanced around and spotted Dumbledore and left a relieved breath out.

Dumbledore was wearing all orange and looked rather like a pumpkin, with his brown straight up hat on his head

“Looking good” Sirius said his eyes watching Harry, Harry had never seen the grey eyes so dark full of sadness and anger “How's Remus, Harry?” he drawled and Harry could clearly smell the alcohol coming from him.

“He is dancing, over there” Harry pointed and tried to move away

“What's the Hurry Love!” He hissed and grabbed Harry to drag him to where Remus was “Let's talk to your boyfriend”

“Boyfriend?” Harry repeated weakly while watching the door longingly, he had no time for this. “Sirius can we talk about that later?! I need to go now” he said but Sirius grabbed his arm tighter shaking his head no.

“We talk about this now!” He growled at Harry, and Harry froze.“You go and fuck my best friend?” Harry looked at him confused “I get it! I was a dick, I hurt you! I fucked several people and you wanted revenge,” Sirius said looking angrily at Harry, both had stopped walking but attracted a scene “all I wanted was a second chance! You didn't wanted to give it? Fine! but for you to do that?” Harry still had no clue what Sirius was on about and tried to move away only for Sirius to tighten his grip on Harry's arm making Harry wince in pain.

“Congratulations” Sirius let go of him to give Harry a mock clapping and Harry could see some people glancing over to look over the scene. As Harry tried to back away Sirius hand returned on Harry's arm faster than he could say hippogriff crap. “No one, has ever hurt me like that! You got me, I admit it. But let me ask you one thing!” Harry saw Regulus standing beside them glaring at Harry as if he was responsible for every bad thing that happened to Regulus, while Snape could barely contain his happiness.

“Sirius” Harry said softly, “Remus and I” he didn't come very far when Sirius interrupted him again.

“Did it have to be my friend Harry?” Sirius asked hurtful and Harry had almost missed it, Sirius words had barely been a whisper, but the pain in it was evident and left Harry shivering. “it would have hurt me if you had fucked a random person. Did you have to fuck my best friend? Or should I thank you that you didn't fuck my brother?!” Sirius asked looking at Harry with a pained expression. “Merlin, answer me! Did it have to be Remus, Harry!” He yelled as Harry still failed to give him an answer.

Harry saw Regulus glaring a murderous glare at him and he smiled inwardly knowing Regulus cared for his brother, he looked and saw a couple of students muttering and glaring at Harry as if he was dirt under their shoe

“Siri, I never slept with anyone” Harry stated confused, looking longingly at the door his friends had vanished to.

“I heard you and Remus, in his bed, next time use a silencing spell.” Sirius gave him a cold laugh. “At least man up and admit it! I heard you! You were groaning and moaning” Harry looked at him as if he spurn another head.

“I was not groaning or moaning” Harry crossed his arms. Ignoring the people around him and Sirius finally let go of him

“What were you doing then?” He raised his eyebrow but Harry saw the hope in his red grey eyes.

“Trying a way to remove this spell on my clothing Remus had put on, not wanting to be a naked dog in the first place” Harry said. And he saw how Sirius looked him over again this time slower. Sirius licked his lips appreciatively.

“So you and Remus aren't…” Sirius trailed off as he walked around Harry and looked at his arse. Harry punched his upper arm and Sirius looked back into Harry's emerald eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that!” He told Sirius while covering his arse with his hands.

“What? How am I looking at you?” Sirius asked innocently and slurred. Trying to remove Harry's hands.

“Pads let go of Harry” Remus said, to his drunken friend, Sirius anger returned but this time it was directed at his best friend, Harry took the opportunity to run out the door after his friends. Hoping they haven't done anything stupid.

“So you can have him all for yourself?” Sirius hissed angrily. “He is mine, Remus! How could you” Sirius asked not waiting for an answer before lunging himself at his best friend.

“No! Because your hurting him! Besides I am not gay, I don't want Harry, you can have him, he is all yours” Remus growled back at his friend.

Harry ran to dumbledores office. “Salted caramel” he said and hurried up the stairs.

“Come here birdie bird” he heard Hermione yell.

Ron was laughing holding his stomach, on his head was the sorting hat “Hermione, the hat says I should be expelled for stealing him” he chuckled “a hat” he laughs, “have you ever seen a talking hat”

Harry looked at the scene in horror. He had never seen his friends drunk or high or whatever, and both were useless right now.

The office looked very much destroyed, “birdie bird, here here” Ron snickered making cooing voices as he lifted random stuff to look for the Phoenix, and then proceeded to throw said stuff around “not here” Ron shrugged

Harry was at loss for words. He didn't know what he was afraid of would happen but this wasn't it.

“Harry!” Hermione cried when she saw him standing there in the middle of the room. “Fawkes he just disappeared,” she said with big watery eyes “poof” she said and Ron echoed her poof in a high pitched imitation of the sound the Phoenix seemingly had made. “and he was gone” Hermione waved her arms around to show that the bird was no where in sight, meaning he could be with Dumbledore at the moment.

“We need to leave! Now!” He dragged a staggering ron and Hermione out of the office and run towards the girls bathroom. “Damnit” Harry sighed. “Okay, so we gotta do this without fawkes” Harry said pacing up and down, Hermione and Ron sat down giggling.

“I am so lucky you are my girlfriend” Ron said stroking hermiones moustache.

“I am so lucky you are my boyfriend” she said while sniffing on Ron's chest “delicious” she giggled and Harry felt like vomiting.

“Wanna make out with moaning myrtle?” Ron snickered and Harry groaned, he knew the ghost was at sir Nicolas death party, so he didn't need to worry about her showing up.

“How much punch did you have!” Harry groaned pulling his hair, he really didn't wanted to be alone with a basilisk but if they didn't do it now Dumbledore would know something was up. The sorting hat and the sword missing. He would watch students closely and then they would never ret the chance.

“I am really sorry for this” Harry said, he took the hat from Ron, pulling the sword out. He heard a gasp but he saw no one. Harry turned around to face Ron again who looked at Harry with big eyes.

“How did you do that?” He gasped Harry pointed his wand at Ron and Hermione and rope came spurring out.

“Stay put” he told them.

He stood in front of the entrance ** _“open”_** he hissed and he heard another gasp, he turned around in shock but stumbled slightly and fell down the hole that had just appeared.

“Harry!” He heard his name being called and not a second later Sirius appeared beside him.

“Oh for Merlins sake!” Harry groaned. “Go back!” Sirius shook his head. “How did you even know where I was?!”

“Who are you?” He asked and pointed at Harry with accusing finger

“What are you on about?”

“There is no way a potter could be a parselmouth”

“Well I am” Harry raked his fingers through his hair, he stood up and clutched the sword tightly while taking his wand in his right hand.

Sirius pointed his wand at him. “Don't even think about hexing me” he warned Harry. “I am coming with you. No way I am going to abandon you on whatever it is you want to do involving Gryffindors sword”

Harry glared at him “You do what I tell you!”

“Ay ay captain” Sirius mocked and moved ahead harry as if he had been down here before. “I have the cloak by the way, followed you from Dumbledores office to here” he said not looking sorry at all for stalking Harry.

“Why?” Harry questioned

“Wanted to apologize, for what I said and how I grabbed you” Sirius looked embarrased he grabbed Harrys arm and tried to pull the shirt up to see the damage he had done.

“It's a marauder spell” Harry said when the shirt didn't budge

“I cancel it later” He promised and Harry smiled gratefully, he hated his costume, feeling really naked.

“You would do that?” Sirius snorted

“Of course, Harry” Sirius shook his head amused while also taking the opportunity to look around.

“Thank you” Harry smiled and Sirius beamed “You seem sober?”

Sirius laughed and showed him a sober up potion “Remus made me drink it. So what's down here?”

“A basilisk” Harry said lazily and he saw Sirius body tense up.

“A basilisk” Sirius said dumbly “A BASILISK?!” He looked over Harry

“Welcome to the chamber of secrets”

“Salazar Slytherin” Sirius looked around. “And what? You want to go here and befriend it?”

“Yup, that's why I brought a sword”

“You want to kill it?”

“I hope I don't have to” Harry admitted. ** _“Open”_** he hissed to the door and he saw Sirius shiver.

He stepped inside quickly trying to ignore the pain it caused him to see Sirius disgusted with him.

“How is it to talk to snakes?” Sirius asked suddenly.

“It sounds like English to me” Harry shrugged.

“Don't tell your father I said that but,” Sirius said “I always thought parseltongue was cool, you could order a snake to kill someone and it could never be traced back to you” he chuckled and Harry stared at his godfather in horror, maybe the alcohol hadn't left his body after all. “Not to mention it sounds kinda sexy leaving your mouth” he shivered once more and Harry decided to just ignore him.

“Close your eyes, I am calling the basilisk” Harry said and watched as Sirius clutched his eyes shut. “Whatever you hear, do not open your eyes until I say so!” Harry said sternly “I won't ever forgive you, if you get yourself killed” he added in a whisper but Sirius still heard him and he gave Harry a nod, not knowing if harry even looked at him or not. “Promise me” Harry said

“I promise I won't open my eyes until you say so” Sirius sighed. Harry nodded satisfied, he turned to Sirius to check his eyes were closed and then hissed for the basilisk to wake up. “Wait!” Sirius yelled and opened his eyes. Harry panicked looking from the entrance where the snake could appear from any second to Sirius.

“What?!” Harry asked terrified.

“Before we might die,” Sirius said hurriedly “I love you” Harry looked at Sirius, opening his mouth to tell him to close his eyes but was shut silenced when Sirius pressed his lips against Harry's. Then he backed away again and closed his eyes. Harry still stood dumbly there not knowing what to say or do. Now all he wanted was to drag Sirius out of there and continue kissing the tall boy somewhere safer.

 ** _“Close your eyes”_** Harry shuddered, a last glance at Sirius to make sure the tall boy had his eyes closed and he closed his as well. He heard the snake move towards him and Sirius. **_“It’s been a long time since someone came to visit, do we needs to clean the school, speaker of ze noble tongue?”_**

 ** _“No, the school is fine”_** Harry told the basilisk hurriedly. **_“I need your help”_** Harry continued **_“just one of your fangs”_**

He could feel the snakes face being only centimetres away from his face, he could almost feel it's tongue touching his face. **_“So you want to kill me with the shiny toy of yours?”_** Was the hissed answer and Harry heard the snake moving away from him, seconds later something hit him and he heard his ribs crack as he was thrown back into the wall.

“Harry?!” Sirius yelled.

“I am fine!” Harry hurriedly replied, he didn't feel fine, but he was alive. He could sense Sirius struggle with himself to keep his eyes closed. “You promised Siri” Harry reminded him.

“You're fine?” Sirius asked defeatedly

“I am fine” Harry said softly before he turned around, faced the wall and opened his eyes for a moment, he saw the basilisk shadows on it, standing behind him, and he saw some red blood on the wall, he touched his head and winced. His head was sticky wet and hurt like hell almost as much as did his ribs. “I’m fine” he said to himself. The basilisk could have bitten him, but it only threw him around a little.

 ** _“This_** **_sword_** , **_isn't_** **_here_** **_to kill_** **_you”_** Harry told the snake. “ ** _I just need your fang"_**  Harry explained while clutching his belly, every breath seemed to hurt.

The basilisk didn't seem it necessary to give Harry an answer, Harry saw the approaching snakes shadow and groaned, of course it couldn't be done the easy way. “Guess that's a no!” Harry said sarcastically

“What's a no?” Sirius asked nervously, he felt something brush past him and it seemed to not end, how big was this snake. The only thing he got as response was hissing sounds and Harry's footsteps apparently trying to avoid a giant basilisk. “Harry?!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a nice New Year! How is the first week of 2017? Sorry for a late update.  
> The song Sirius sings is I need you by the Beatles.  
> Yeah big fan of those guys ignored you haven't got guessed it by now hahha.


	16. A whisper into the dark night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I really really really have to finish my thesis, so I kinda struggled in finding my balance between both.

Sirius opened his eyes, gaze fixated on the floor he risked them up a little and only saw the giants basilisk tail, “Harry?” He panicky whispered. He turned into padfoot and smelled the air, it didn't took long for him to find Harry and he ran towards him.

“Harry” he yelled but everything that escaped his mouth was a shaky bark.

“Padfoot, Stay!” He commanded and Sirius wondered if Harry actually thought he was a dog. He gave Harry a frustrated growl. That got the attention of the snake however. The snake stopped and hissed something he didn't understand, but from Harry's gasped No, Sirius wasn't going to stay and find out what it was. He had just turned around when the snake came slithering towards him leaving Harry standing behind.

“Good snake” he barked “good pretty snake” not that anyone could understand it, luckily he was faster as a dog and ran in zigzag towards some pillars. He ran around them and tried to shake off the green monster as best as he could. Before he hid behind one pillar and hoped those eyes couldn't see very well.

Sirius tried not to breath too loudly which was hard in his dog form, tongue out he panted, waiting for the snake to leave. Of course the snake did not leave. Sirius tried to listen to where Harry was but all he heard were hooves. And then nothing, except wings? A hippogriff? What would a hippogriff do here? He thought and tried to smell the air but all he smelled were dead pine trees, leather and burnt cinnamon cookies.

And of course venom, he smelled those deadly fangs so well, he was sure it was right next to him. Next thing he hears the snake hisses right beside his right ear and Sirius jumps and runs toward another pillar.

The wings stopped and the hooves returned before he heard footsteps again. “Padfoot?!” Harry yelled, Sirius heard the footsteps and so did the snake. Harry was coming nearer and judging that Harry had his eyes closed he would run right into the snake, all the snake had to do was open his mouth and Harry would practically jump into the snake and became snake meat.

Sirius looked nervously to Harry and in the right moment he jumped in, biting the snakes neck.

Now, snake meat was never padfoot's favourite meat and especially not this one, but he would eat this whole snake if it meant Harry would be safe.

Harry slashed with his sword once, eyes still closed and the snake hissed before padfoot whimpered. “Shit, sorry padfoot!” Harry screamed. “Fuck! Are you alright?” Harry waved his arms trying to find the black dog, “shit shit shit, merlins balls, please be okay” Harry rambled on and Sirius gave him a small bark.

Sirius had never felt so much pain in his front leg. Harry had sliced him! Him! He gave Harry another whimper as he tried to stand, but his front leg really did hurt. Guess better a sword wound then those deadly fangs. Sirius mused and barked at Harry to follow him away from the snake a little, whose left eye had gotten in the way of Harry's sword. Sirius could smell the blood of the snake, it might not have killed it but it was hissing in pain and anger, he assumed, on the ground right now. At least it would give the snake a nice scar and it was blind on one side.

He nudged Harry and pushed him behind a pillar barking at him to open his eyes.

“Fuck, Sirius!” Harry looked so guilty at his bloody wound. “I am so sorry”. Sirius gave him a slobbery kiss on his cheek and Harry gave him a shaky smile. “Stay please?”

Sirius growled, and changed midgrowl into a young man. “No chance, Love”

“I like you better as a dog” came the reply. “You should really stay dog and just do as you are told” he grumbled

The snake hissed again and Sirius heard it moving again. “Change!” Harry yelled and closed his eyes. “Guess I made it angry” Harry chuckled, he actually chuckled.

“No shit” barked padfoot.

“Please stay” Harry begged and he looked so scared and small. He fingered his sword and Sirius wondered how were they supposed to fight a basilisk blind? He knew that basilisk were immune to magic. Well not really immune but like trolls they had thick skin.

Sirius runout and Harry stiffened yelling at him to come back and be a good dog. But Sirius knew if he distracted the snake Harry could sneak up from behind and kill it. Or they could just run back to the school and Harry could just close the door, but Harry seemed to want to kill the snake. He sighed and ran faster barking and growling while he ran. The snake hissing a reply and following him.

When he thought Harry would sneak behind the snake he thought about sneaking. As silent as possible, tip toeing behind a giant snake and ramming the sword in its head or neck or wherever. Harry though was louder than a herd of hippogriffs, not only could Sirius hear and feel the vibrating of his every footstep, but his yell was a dead give away that Harry was chasing after the snake. Sirius heard a long hiss and then silence.

Padfoot stopped abruptly, he smelled blood, he heard soft hissing but no more movements. Not from the snake not from …

“Harry?” He barked softly.

“M fine” Harry sighed “it's okay you can open your eyes.”

Padfoot transformed into Sirius and glared at Harry. Not that the small boy seemed to notice. On the ground with a sword in his other eyes was the snake. His head still swinging a little, the snake didn't seem to want to die. Still breathing but on the edge of dying, both man and snake seem to be having a conversation. Now that the snake was blind it didn't seem like such a deadly creature anymore. If you forget about the venomous fangs that is.

Harry stood next to the snake looking guilty and sad as if he had just killed a little kitten, with shaky hands and a last hiss Harry pulled his sword out of the snake eye and the head fell finally to the ground with a last long hiss.

Harry sat on the floor and looked anywhere but at Sirius.

“That was fun” Sirius tried to break the ice.

“You could have died! You should have stayed still and kept your eyes closed! Like you promised” Harry hissed.

“And let you get killed?!” Sirius couldn't believe his ears.

“I was fine”

“You were being chased by a basilisk! I am not gonna apologise for this Harry” Harry looked him in the eyes and saw nothing but Sirius dead on the floor, covered with a fang, blood streaming out of him. He saw Sirius fall through the veil. He saw Sirius falling dead on the floor after looking into yellow eyes, red eyes. All he saw was Sirius dead. “Besides! Could you have been any louder while trying to kill the snake?! Ever heard of sneaking?”

“You promised. You promised” Harry said weakly as if Sirius hadn't spoken, as if he couldn't hear Sirius. He looked so lost to Sirius that Sirius walked over to him and sat down. Not touching the boy but if Harry needs him all he needed to do was reaching out and Sirius was there.

Harry couldn't believe he had almost lost Sirius again.

Again!

“You promised you would keep your eyes close and stay” Harry glared at the grey eyed boy.

“Harry!” Sirius glared at him, and Harry was sure if the snake could look into Sirius eyes in that moment it would have killed the snake. “If it makes you feel better, my eyes were closed for the most part” Sirius growled.

“You could have died” Harry whispered. He went to reach for Sirius, wanting to touch him. Wanting to feel for himself that the boy was still alive, breathing, warm and sweaty. And not a cold corpse on the floor. But he couldn't, he had almost caused Sirius death again. How could he wanted said boy to calm his worries.

“I’m fine, Love” Sirius said, something in that statement didn't suit Harry. Of course Sirius should have been fine.

“You would have been fine if you had kept your promise!” Harry shook his head angrily and left the chambers, leaving Sirius with a dead basilisk behind.

“Can you believe him?” Sirius asked the snake before kicking its fang in, no one said he can't have a little souvenir from this little adventure. Not that anyone would believe him anyway. “Yeah, I can't either.” Sirius snorted as if the snake had answered. “Mental that one I tell you”

“I’m not the one talking to a snake” Harry yelled “dead snake” he said when Sirius just wanted to point out that Harry had indeed been talking to said snake a few minutes ago.

Sirius heard Harry hiss something, he pocketed the fang in his robes and followed the green eyed boy hesitantly. He didn't wanted to be on the receiving end of Harry's temper and he really wanted to hug the boy. He would never admit it, but he had been so scared that this would end badly in Harry becoming the snakes meal. He had seen Harry die in so many ways while the snake had chased him. He really just wanted to hold the small boy and kiss him until he was sure the boy was alright.

Sirius saw stairs appearing and he quickly hurried out of the chamber of secrets. Not wanting to be in there any longer than necessary. Harry still holding the bloody sword held himself over one of the sinks not watching Sirius emerging from the hole. He heard a hiss and saw the hole closing and a sink appearing.

Sirius non verbally made the ropes of Ron and Hermione disappear and he waved his wand again and both students were flying in front of him.

“You did that non verbally” Harry said awe in his voice. And inside Sirius was a melting mess. Happy and proud that Harry thought he could do something amazing. But outside he kept his cool façade and just shrugged, only his eyes gave away how he really felt.

The two wandered silently into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione and Ron floating in front of them. Both ignoring their own scars and bruises in order to check the other for injuries.

Once Sirius had placed Ron in his bed and hermione in Harry's. He pulled the small boy into the bathroom. And silenced the room, he didn't want to wake the two drunk up.

“Can we go back to the ball?”

“Sure, once we clean up.” Sirius suggested and Harry looked in the mirror and agreed. His face was full of snake blood, his arms dirty and he felt that his ribs were either broken or he just had an ugly bruise there.

Sirius stepped forward holding something wet in his hands before reaching forward and cleaning Harry's face gently. Harry closed his eyes and let the feeling wash over him. Sirius taking care of him made him feel warm and giddy.

He took the cloth and washed it out watching as the water turned red and brown. He took the now clean cloth and cleaned Sirius, he helped Sirius out of his robes and saw for the first the wound he had caused, an ugly long wound that seemed to almost split Sirius upper arm in half, he was sure those white things he saw were his bones. “I’m so sorry” he choked. Sirius said nothing only lifting his shirt and only wincing slightly when it touched his new injury. Harry gently took the cloth and tried to wash over it and flinching every time Sirius winced. “Maybe we should see madame Pomfrey” Harry suggested his voice dry as if he hadn't used it in years as he looked on the injury he had caused.

Harry yawned and stretched and immediately pain greeted him in his ribs, Sirius looked alarmed and swooped Harry off of his feet into his arms only whispering hospital wing.

“Sirius I can walk” he protested and tried to break free but even with an injured arm Sirius appeared to be stronger than him. Which seemed to harry unfair, how was everyone taller and stronger than him? Not that he was a weakling, he was very fast, had good reflexes, throw good punches, one may ask Draco Malfoy. “Damn it Sirius, lemme down”

“Now now, where is the please? Where is the thank you?” Sirius asked.

“Could you PLEASE let me fucking down!!!!”

“I could do with some fucking” Sirius sniggered and kept his hold on Harry while walking down the many many stairs. “Come on, Love. What's your problem?” He looked Harry right in his eyes.

“You almost died” was all Harry said

“You almost died as well, I couldn’t just stand there watching or hearing you die!”

“I didn't ask you to come”

“Harry, I didn’t die, you didn't die” Sirius said softly “ can we forget about this please?”

“I was in no danger, you almost…”

“Come of it Harry” Sirius spat. “I wasn't gonna keep my eyes closed and hear the boy I love die I front of me without doing anything!”

Harry opened and closed his mouth several times before he shook his head tiredly. There it was again, love. Sirius had said it again. He had said it before meeting the basilisk. Did he expect Harry to say it back? Could he say it back? No, he couldn't. Not at the moment at least. There was no love he felt at this particular moment. He felt angry. He was so angry for having almost lost Sirius, angry at himself for not being stronger, angry at the marauders for spiking the punch and Hermione and Ron for drinking it. But most importantly did he hate the feeling of fear, he had almost lost Sirius.

Besides, he wasn't sure he should say it back, he was too afraid Sirius would hurt him again.

“Please, Love” Sirius said “no fighting?”

Harry nodded “Can you please let me down then?”

“You are injured” was all Sirius said and Harry poked Sirius arm in statement that Sirius was injured as well, equaling in Sirius wincing and almost dropping Harry.

Sirius glared at Harry “I can carry you like last time, if you don't behave” Harry poked him another time and gasped as he almost fell down. “We are almost there” Sirius said, “can you be a good little boy and behave, I’d hate to give you another spanking” Sirius smirk indicated the exact opposite. Harry glared at the boy and poked him as statement but with his other arm he held on to Sirius neck tightly, he didn't really wanted to fall down he wanted to be let down. He just hoped no one saw him like this, being carried like a little child in Sirius Blacks arms and naked chest. God that boy had a firm chest, Harry thought and had to immediately think of something else. Giant spiders with pincers that want to eat you, a troll that wants to beat you, a dark lord that wants to kill you.

Harry was lowered on the bed and immediately madame Pomfrey came

“What did you do, mr. Black?!” She gave him an accusing look and Harry chose that moment to wince and whimper and as Sirius looked at him he clearly saw the mischief in the smaller boys eyes, but his face wore the mask of innocence.

“I didn't do anything Poppy” Sirius sighed. “Just get that little thespian healthy” madame Pomfrey didn't exactly look happy at being ordered around by a student and through gritted teeth she asked what was wrong with him.

“He fell down, hit his head pretty hard and his ribs” Sirius said slowly checking Harry over again.

“He is sitting right here able to walk and talk” Harry sighed tired of being treated like a child. Sirius and he were the same age here.

Madame Pomfrey came and checked his head and muttered a cleaning spell to get rid of the blood, “I told Dumbledore this was a bad idea, a ball into midnight, but does anyone listen to me? I had dozens students already who drank a funny potion, I have never seen or heard of before! Got themselves injured because they thought they could do anything, including flying”

Harry gave Sirius a look, “Were any Slytherins injured?” Sirius asked. Madame Pomfrey ignored his hopeful voice and just kept checking on Harry.

“Can you please remove your clothing so I can have a closer look at your ribs, mr. Granger”

Harry just opened his mouth to explain when Sirius muttered something and the two watched him run out of the hospital wing.

Sirius knew he didn't wore a shirt, and he was aware of the stares he was getting, not that he cared. He knew he had a good body and a pretty face. He made his way to search for his friend.

“There you are Moony” Sirius said “I nee…”

“Shhh” Remus said and pointed at a nervous looking James, who was mumbling something to a smiling Lily, while giving her an almost naked rose.

“What is he saying?” Sirius whispered as if any loud voices could disturb the two.

“The usual, she stole his heart, she is the most beautiful the smartest and the kindest person he knows”

“Wait? Person not woman?!” Sirius asked

“What difference does that make?” Remus rolled his eyes.

Sirius made an offended sound but said nothing more, he watched as James finished his speech and looked nervously at Lily, all arrogance and confidence seemed to have vanished.

“Why is he so nervous? He knows they end up together, Harry is literally the proof of that”

“You’ll see one day” Remus smirked.

Lily nodded and took the rose and immediately it started glowing and Lily almost dropped it. James himself started glowing and people started to look at the two. Lily watched amazed as the beast turned into James. “Show off” she said smiling and James smiled back.

James couldn't believe his luck, after chasing the girl of his dreams for so long she had finally said yes. Lily Evans. His girlfriend. He doubted anything could wipe off the smile on his face.

“Dance with me?” He asked and Lily nodded. He looked over to his friends seeing Moony smiling and Sirius, a almost naked Sirius glaring at him. He gave both boys a smile and turned back to his girlfriend. It was a slow song and he was glad for it, nothing felt better than holding Lily close in his arms. She smelled of roses and home. And James smile grew even wider thinking of Lily being the mother of his child, his future wife. Of course that was still in the near future. But why wait too long? He knew he only wanted her.

“Lily?” He softly whispered into her ear and was rewarded with the most beautiful eyes looking back at him. “I doubt I can say that often enough, but you just made me the happiest man of Hogwarts, scratch that. You made me the happiest man alive” he said leaning his forehead on top of her head and Lily smiled closing her eyes. He had never seen her so beautiful. She belonged in his arms.

“So? Boyfriend” James beamed at his new title “do I get a kiss?” She whispered and James was sure his heart stopped beating. With a hand on her neck he backed her head away a bit and lowered himself to her, he let her close the distance between their lips. She licked over her lips and James followed the movement with his eyes. Then she leaned closer, closing her eyes as her lips touched his. James could have done a victory dance, he felt he could destroy Voldemort at that moment, create the biggest patronus that ever existed. He returned the kiss gently, the hand on her neck and waist pulling her even closer.

This was heaven he thought as they broke the kiss and her green eyes looked dazzlingly at him. He heard clapping at turned around to stare at his friends he rolled his eyes, but the smile never left his face, he turned back to his girlfriend and grinned at her, he couldn't help but drown in green eyes. Everything seemed perfect. He had the girl of his dreams, and a heir whom he found he already loved very much. It was odd but it made him happy, he couldn't wait to bring Harry into this world and be part of his first words, steps, first broom, first everything.   
  
Remus finally looked at his friend, giving James and Lily a bit privacy, “Erm, Padfoot” Remus had seen Sirius without clothes a lot of times, he knew the black heir wasn't embarrassed of his body and he was certainly not shy. “Did you drink the punch?”

“I need your wand” Remus looked his friend over before turning an angry shade of red.

“Absolutely not! James will have my head! Can't you keep it in your pants one time!”

“Why would I have your head?” James questioned, Lily's hand intertwined with his he looked at his mates still having a goofy smile plastered on his face

Sirius rolled his eyes “he is in the hospital wing, we need to get him out of his clothes”

“Who is in the hospital wing?” James asked his smile slowly fading.

“What did you do?” Remus gasped but didn't wait for an answer, he immediately turned out of the hall with Sirius following him closely. James tucked on Lily's hand and both ran to the hospital wing, his only thought, please don't let it be Harry.

“Why does everyone assume I did something” Sirius said tiredly.

They found Harry sitting there with a small pout on his face and madame Pomfrey trying every spell she knew apparently to remove his shirt. Harry looked up when the two entered and gave Remus a smile. As Remus took his wand an pointed it at Harry, Sirius took it away quickly.

“Sirius, what..?” Harry asked perplexed and even Remus raised his eyebrow at his friends action.

Sirius only waved the wand and cast a nonverbal spell at Harry that turned his clothes back to normal “Don't want you to say I never keep my word” he said and watched as Harry went pink, before giving Remus his wand back.

James and Lily came through the door.

“Harry!” His mother screamed, she pushed madame Pomfrey out of the way and touched Harry's cheek, looking his body over for any injury. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” Harry said avoiding her eyes.

James had the grace to give Madame pomfrey an apologetic smile before going to Harry's other side. He made to ruffle Harry's head only for the boy to wince.

“He has a head injury and broken ribs.” Madame pomfrey glared at them both. “And you will leave now!”

“No!” Lily glared at her, James has never seen her like that. Lily followed rules, obeyed the law. Lily didn't look at an authority figure and spat them in the face. That was Sirius’ job.

“No?” Madame pomfrey seemed to be as shocked as the rest in the room. Even Sirius and Remus had stopped bickering in favour to look at Lily.

Lily ignored all and turned back to Harry. “What happened, dear?” She asked softly while stroking his cheeks kindly.

“Erm, I fell, but madame pomfrey can get me healed in a second” Harry said looking from his mother to his father, who still stared at Lily with an open mouth. When suddenly hazel eyes met his, looking at him as if he knew that Harry had just lied. He gave Harry a challenging look and Harry quickly turned back to his mother, who looked on the verge of tears, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Let me see your arm mr. Black” madame Pomfrey said, trying to recover from her shock.

“I am fine, is just a scratch” Sirius said, his eyes never leaving Harry.

“Let me be the judge of that” she countered and Sirius groaned but made no move to obey her “sit down Black” she said once more with a no argument voice.

“Yeah, sit down Black” Harry said happily and Remus chuckled.

Sirius sat down and madame Pomfrey gave him a salve for his wound to avoid it being infected and she gave him a potion that would help it heal faster. Then she turned back to Harry, she ordered him to remove the robe.

Harry looked from his parents to Remus and Sirius back to madame Pomfrey, madame Pomfrey smiled knowingly and ushered the four out.

“I’ll be just outside okay” his mother said and Harry nodded. Except for Sirius no one really had ever stayed with him in the hospital. He felt warm, he felt loved. He couldn't stop smiling at that thought, having parents to fuss over him, to worry if he got hurt felt nice. Not that he wanted them to worry. But it felt nice knowing that they cared.

“He is so shy” Remus chuckled. “Nothing like Prongs”

“Of course he isn't like Prongs” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Wanna share what happened?” James asked and Lily raised an eyebrow.

“He fell, he told us. Don't you ever listen?” She said, James could tell she was near to hexing anyone and he gave her a small smile.

No one said anything until madame Pomfrey came out.

“Harry will stay here over night” came her voice and Sirius made move to go back inside only for madame pomfrey to close the door on him “he needs rest”

Neither Sirius nor Lily looked happy about not being able to see him and reluctantly they let James and Remus drag them back to their common room.

  
A high pitched scream awoke Sirius the next morning, he opened his curtains to look at the scene, Peter and Remus were in the bathroom getting ready, James was in his towel standing in the middle of the room looking slightly confused and trapped, Sirius saw Ron stumble out of his bed wand raised and ready to attack anyone really.

Hermione stood in front of Harry's bed, hand closed her mouth, staring at the boys almost naked state.

“Hermione? Why are you in here?” Ron asked his girlfriend.

“I just woke up!” She said, flushing red and looked at the ground.

“In Harry's bed” it wasn't a question, and Sirius heard the jealous edge over it.

“I put you in there, you two were out, it seemed like the punch was spiked” Sirius said, his voice innocent and full of worry, his face smug.

“You!” She yelled, and went out of the room slamming the door shut rather forcefully. Sirius whimpered at the loud sound.

“Charming that one” He said and moved to take a shower.

“Where is Harry?” Ron asked, eyeing the room

“Hospital wing” Ron choked and ran to Sirius who was getting out of his clothes

“Is he all right?” He asked seemingly wanting to fist Sirius pyjama top but only touching skin. Ron looked down at Sirius and saw the boy wore only his black boxers. He turned back to Sirius face, hands dropping quickly. Sirius raised his eyebrows before he smirked.

“Sorry Weasley, not interested, I am currently taken”

“Oh?” James said and looked to Harry's bed and back to Sirius who didn't say anything “We talk about that later”

“Is he alright?!” Ron asked angrily.

“Fine” Sirius answered both question and stripped out of his boxers. Ron choke on air and looked around to find that the marauders were chuckling at his reaction.

“He isn't shy” Remus laughed as Ron looked ready to faint.

“He has nothing to be shy about” James laughed even louder.

“If you like it so much, why don't you all just join me” Sirius yelled out of shower.

“You are all mental” Ron said, looking at everyone as if they had just used an unforgivable.

Peter chuckled and asked if they go to Harry before or after breakfast.

Sirius came out of the shower, walked to grabbed his towel and told Ron to get ready, he wanted to go to Harry now.

“That was a quick shower” James laughed.

“I want to see Harry” Sirius shrugged, and clapped at the others to get on moving.

Harry was awoken by bickering. He heard so many voices and he frowned. It was far too early.

“Who in their right mind would spike the punch with drugs!” Harry heard the voice say, he knew it was Hermione and had to suppress a chuckle. He was sure, she had her hand on her waist and the other pointed at the marauders accusingly.

“It wasn't a real drug and keep your voice down” James hissed. Harry opened his eyes and true to his prediction Hermione was glaring daggers at them, only that the marauders didn't seemed affected at all. Lily stood next to his bed not paying attention to them at all just shushing them quiet.

“Feeling better Harry?” Remus asked, and all eyes were on Harry. Harry smiled at Remus.

“You ask me that question far too often” Harry chuckled.

“You should keep out of trouble then” Remus replied smiling.

“Easier said then done, trouble is my middle name”

“No it's not” James said, “James is your middle name” he looked at Harry with worry and concern. “How are you?”

“I’m fine” Harry breathed out. “Madame Pomfrey got me all fixed up” he said before he was crushed into a hug by Hermione.

“I’m so sorry” Hermione said, her voice was shaking and Harry exchanged a look with Ron, both knew Hermione was close to tears.

“I’m fine” Harry repeated again.

“Mate” Ron said and Harry gave him a smile “you really should try to stay out of the hospital” he chuckled though Harry could tell it was fake.

“It's not like I like being here” Harry rolled his eyes. Hermione still hadn't let go of him and Harry tried to send a message to Ron to get his girlfriend off of him.

“Harry, your father and his little group” Hermione said angrily into his neck and Harry had to bite his cheeks to keep from laughing out as the marauders looked offended at her choice of words “spiked the punch last night!”

“I know” Harry coughed “saw you and Ron dancing rather…. Seductively” she shot up and swatted his head, ignoring both James and Sirius low growl. Harry raised his eyebrows at both men. “Ouch, no need to turn to violence because you don't like to face the truth”

“Oh, shut it you” Hermione said smiling her face gone rather red “you are just the same as your father”

“No he isn't” Sirius interrupted and pushed Hermione away from Harry, not giving Ron the chance to go to Harry next. “How's your head?”

“All better” Harry laughed.

“Ribs?”

“All fixed”

“It was dangerous” Harry heard Hermione hiss and he turned to look his friend over, seemed that she was more embarrassed than actually angry.

Harry laughed and saw James pushing Sirius away. His mother still on his other side smiling down at him and caressing his hair.

“What happened, Harry?” His father asked looking his son over.

“I fell” Harry said and looked at Sirius, trying to figure out if the boy had said something or not. Sirius must have misunderstood Harry's questioning face since he said,

“I would have come earlier but someone didn't wake me up”

“Padfoot you are old enough to wake up by yourself” James sighed

“And apparently I am not the prettiest, smartest or kindest person you know either”

“What?” James and Harry asked at the same time, one amused one confused. Remus at the door was holding his belly from laughing.

“If you can't keep quiet then you have to leave!” Madame Pomfrey yelled.

“Cant I leave?” Harry asked with hopeful eyes. Madame Pomfrey came near Harry looking him over, James stood beside him inching closer and his hand shook as if he wanted to reach out and touch Harry but was too afraid he wasn't allowed to.

“Your ribs are all healed, but I am afraid that you hit your head rather hard” she frowned “you need rest”

“After lunch?” Harry asked trying to sound hopeful

“Harry, listen to madame Pomfrey” his mother chastised him, then she lowered herself to whisper into his ear “You didn't fell did you?” Harry gulped and avoided her eyes.

“We’ll see” madam Pomfrey said as she ushered the group out of the room.

“One minute, Pops” James begged.

“Potter, how often do I have to tell you not to call me that?”

“I stop if you give me a minute with Harry” she scolded him saying that making deals with the devil was beneath her, but she stepped aside letting him go through.

“How are you?”

“Fine?” Harry asked and James raised his eyebrows “small headache”

James sat down on the bed and looked his son over. “If I had known” he sighed, “I didn’t mean for this to happen” the look on his fathers face was one he knew but couldn't quite place it.

“What are you talking about.”

“If I hadn't spiked the punch, this wouldn't have happened” and finally he understood that look on his fathers face, had seen it too often in the mirror, guilt.

“I didn't drink the punch” Harry said softly.

“So you are just clumsy?” James chuckled relieved. His hand went to Harry's shoulder squeezing it.

“I’ll explain, one day” Harry said and James sighed.

“How lucky for you, today is one day” James grinned “I’ll expect the story later after dinner”

“James” Harry groaned

“Is that a way to call your father?” He quirked an eyebrow. “Anyhow, my minute is up, your mother and i are expecting you later then, for the juicy details, or if you don't want her to know?” He asked softly this time.

“I don't want either of you to know actually” Harry muttered under his breath.

Time passed and Harry still didn't know what to tell his parents. James had a determined look on his face when he had left Harry, and even though he didn't really know his father he knew enough to know he wouldn't let this go.

It was dinner when Harry was released. The marauders and the trio weren't allowed to visit for which Harry was strangely grateful for, he doubted the could think of something with them by his side.

The marauders, trio and Lily went up the boys room, everyone looked at expectantly at Harry. Hermione and Ron looking at him as too warm him not to say too much. He sighed. What was he supposed to say? Hi mom, dad, killed a basilisk. No big deal.

“Mom?” Harry pulled on his robe nervously

“Yes dear?”

“Would you be angry if I told you the truth?”

“I would be angry if you lied” she confirmed already looking quite angry for his previous lie.

“You promise not to?”

“I promise” then she looked at James and he sighed saying he promised too.

“Right, Erm. I told you, I had a plan to stop you from dying” both nodded and Harry continued. “I needed some venom for that, a specific venom, and last night I got it, Sirius here” he waved into Sirius direction who smiled smugly at him “followed me and Erm helped me get it”

“What kind of venom?”

“Snake venom”

“You don't look like you battled a snake dear, you look like you battled a troll” his mother said her voice raising slightly.

“It was a very big snake, mom”

James gave Sirius a look and Sirius gave Harry an apologetic smile “a basilisk” Sirius sighed and Harry gave him a sneer the Malfoy’s would be proud of. James cursed under his breath and Lily choked on her breath. Remus fished out his notebook writing something down while Peter looked at Harry with big eyes. The only people who looked as if that was a normal thing were the trio.

Harry stood up quickly, and hurried out of the room. He didn't wanted to be near anyone if they started to make a scene.

“Not so fast young man” his father seethed.

“You promised not to be angry” Harry said shakily.

“You!” James looked unable to speak “Room of requirements. Now!”. Harry nodded dumbly and with his head hung low he headed towards his punishment.

His mother paced in front of the room and the garden she had once wished for appeared again, Harry went inside scared of what his parents would do. What did parents usually do?

“You promised not to be angry” Harry said and his mother shook her head, she looked pale and Harry worried for her health. “Are you okay mom?” Another shake of her head.

She sat down on the bench slowly while James paced the garden up and down. Harry sat down next to his mother slowly who immediately threw herself on him.

“You fought a basilisk” his mothers voice was barely a whisper. “You could have died”

“But I didn't”

“Why didn't you tell us?”

“You would have stopped us” Harry said looking down on the ground.

“It was dangerous and stupid!” His father yelled, sounding like Hermione. “Why do you need it anyway”

“I can't say”

His father punched a tree and Harry flinched. “You can't say” Harry had never seen his father this angry. “Who is stopping you from saying! Granger?!” Harry shook his head giving his mother pleading eyes to calm his father down. “You are not leaving this room until you do tell what you have planned”

Harry stood up “You can't keep me here!”

“I am your father, of course I can” he said lazily. Harry glared at his father and walked over to him until they were face to face.

“I can't and I won't say, you won't understand it, you will try to prevent it and I can't let that happen! I won't watch you die again”

“And I won't watch you die, Harry James Potter!” His father said and poked him in the ribs.

“I am fine! I have done this before. I faced the same basilisk in second year” His mother sobbed and Harry turned to her quickly. “Mom what's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you okay?”

“I can't lose you Harry, I love you” Harry tensed up and he looked at his mother crying in front of him, he made a step to her, wanting to give her comfort but he had never done such thing. The whole room was silent except for Lily's crying and James heavy panting.

James quickly went over to Lily and engaged her into an rib breaking hug, while harry still stood there in front of her with an open mouth. “I love you too mom” he said softly but he was sure she hadn't heard him over her crying.

“I know you have never had anyone telling you what you cannot do” his mother started, she wiped her tears away as she stood up breaking her and James hug. “But we are your parents, you not being born yet isn't changing that” she told him and Harry nodded “then you will listen to us! We understand that you are here for a reason” she said as she stood in front of him, never before had Harry felt like a little child. “But we, your father and I, won't sit back and watch you throw your life away to save ours!” His father nodded on the bench eyes fixated on the ground he looked as if he had just lost the most important thing in his life. “I’d rather die than that I have to life without you” she said and Harry shook his head frantically.

“No!” He yelled and as his mother went to touch him he stepped back. “I won't lose you again.” He said and he made to leave for the door James tried to stop him but Harry was a small seeker, he was fast. He was out of the room before James had a chance to stand up.

Harry run and he had no idea where to, when he saw the whomping willow. He sat down in front of it. Leaving enough space so that the three wouldn't attack him. He had enough of getting punched and slammed against walls for a lifetime.

He sat there, staring into the night, trying to control his shaking body. He couldn't lose anyone again. Not Sirius, not his parents. Not after getting to know them. He would rather die than lose them again, why couldn't they see that?

He couldn't face his parents, not after running away leaving his crying mother alone. He should have comforted her not leave her. But her words repeated themselves in his head. He couldn't lose them again. He couldn't watch another person he loved die. Harry punched the grass as if it was the earths fault he had experienced so much pain and loss.

He wouldn't let anyone die again, and if he had to die to save those he loved, then at least he would die happily. He had died before, he knew it didn't hurt. He wasn't afraid of death. He was afraid of other people dying and him unable to save them. If Voldemort finds out about him, those people would be the first to be in danger.

He couldn't tell them. He should just make them forget, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't see his mother cry again. But crying was better than dying, he thought bitterly.

“Harry” someone sat beside him. Harry didn't have to look up, he knew the person. He just wasn't sure if he wanted company at the moment. “Didn't know you liked the punching three” the boy said and Harry sighed.

“This is were we first met” he said softly “well in your human form that is, I met you first near my aunts house, though I had no idea it was you at that time” he looked into grey eyes.

“Scared you? Did I?” Sirius chuckled.

Harry snorted “You look like an oversized puppy, snuffles”

“Snuffles?!” Sirius screeched looking as if Harry had just punched him.

“Is what you told me to call you”

“I did not!”

“Did too” Harry laughed, slowly the tension in his body gave away and he leaned into Sirius.

“I give you oversized puppy, I could eat you” Sirius said smiling.

“I’m shivering for fear” Harry yawned and gave Sirius a smug smile that vanished quickly, and Sirius found himself staring into sad green eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” Harry tensed up but nodded, “why on earth did you yell like you were possessed by Salazar Slytherin when you attacked the snake?”

“So it would try to attack me” Harry said as if he talked about homework

“What? Why?”

“Its head is too far up, Sirius” Harry sighed “I needed it to lower itself and the best way would be if it tried to attack me”

“Huh” was the smartest thing Sirius could say. “I’m sorry by the way for telling them”

“No you’re not” Harry smiled, “it's okay, he is your best friend. Just maybe don't tell them when I am there next time” Harry whimpered remembering his mother crying and his father yelling and looking ready to kill.

“He is just worried, Harry” Sirius said and wrapped an arm around the smaller boy. “We all are”

“I can't lose anyone again, Sirius” Harry whispered, eyes on the three that once destroyed Arthur's car.

“And we can't lose you” Sirius whispered just as lowly, giving Harry's head a kiss. “Why can't you tell us? I think we all sort of already know”

“You do?” Harry asked

“Your mom, and Remus are the smartest people in Hogwarts, not to mention James and I, are the top students and marauders”

“And modest” Harry grumbled

“We are just afraid that our suspicion is correct” Sirius continued as if he hadn't heard Harry.

Harry was silent for awhile, what was he afraid of, he couldn't tell them because they would either stop him or join him. And he didn't wanted both. They would risk themselves trying to keep him alive. Harry had been through that. He couldn't experience that again. This was their second chance not Harry's. Of course Harry wanted to grow up with parents and live a happy life, but if he had to die then so be it. At least he would die smiling knowing he had changed enough to give his family a second chance to a happy life.

For James and Lily to have many children and don't have to live in fear that Voldemort would show up.

For Peter to not make the wrong choice and choose his friends and happiness instead of power.

For Remus to start a family and see his son grow up in a better life.

For teddy to grow up with loving parents instead of a grandmother and a godfather.

For Sirius to be Happy.

“And I am afraid you will try to help me” Harry said looking into Sirius eyes that held only kindness and love.

“Would it be that terrible to accept our help, love?” Sirius asked gently, though Harry felt that Sirius wanted to shake him push him into telling him, telling him to let them join.

“Yes it would” Harry whispered and Sirius sighed but didn't say anything more.

Harry leaned in closer and closed his eyes. He wasn't good in letting people in, it got him hurt so many times already. He had let Sirius in and Sirius dying was the most painful thing he had ever felt. How could he let them in and still protect them? Why couldn't they just take it as it was? Protection, so they wouldn't get hurt. He did this because he loved them after all. Love.

“I love you too, Sirius” he whispered into the night, the only reaction from Sirius was the tightening arms around his body. Had Harry looked up he would have seen the black heir grin a goofy grin he always loathed on other couples. Sirius knew it wouldn't last forever, but forever seemed far away at this moment.

If someone asked him when was he the happiest then it would be this exact moment. Harry whispering the words he had been longing to hear. Harry leaning on his shoulder, Harry in his arms. Harry's smell surrounding him. Only Harry could make him happy. Sirius realized at this point, he already dreaded the day, when the world returned to its dark self and took the boy away from him for 20 long years. Sure prongs and Lily would have Harry in a few years, but that wouldn't be his Harry. His Harry would appear in 20 something years and he would wait.

He would wait, and if it would be the last thing he would do. He would wait.

“Love you” Sirius mumbled into black hair trying very hard to hide his smile and his sad eyes.

 


	17. Promises, Plans and Confessions

Sirius woke up hoping that the previous night hadn't been a dream. He finally got what James always talked about. Salazar, he was in love and yesterday when Harry had whispered those words he felt the happiest.

The trio though had a tough night last night. After coming back Ron and Hermione had talked with Harry in the corner. Sirius had no idea what they talked about but Harry's face told everything he needed to know. He was angry. Hermione looked torn between the two and exhausted as if those two fought all the time. But Sirius had seen the two boys and never had they fought. Not even once. Seeing Ron’s angry red face and Harry's glare made them look like James and Snape rather then James and himself.

He had tried to ask Harry what was wrong but he could as well ask the wall. Harry had waved him away and told him he just wanted to sleep. So he had let his boyfriend go. Because that's what he was. His boyfriend. His first boyfriend. Remus had argued that Sirius had to ask Harry first. But really they already confessed their love. Sirius wasn't an expert in relationship or love, but even he knew that love meant relationship. Why else would Harry say he loved him.

To his shock Harry wasn't in his bed nor in the bathroom nor in the Gryffindor tower in the following morning. A quick look at the map showed him with Snape. Sirius didn't even bother to shower and with a quick change into his uniform, forgetting his tie and outer robe he made his way to them.

“I – erm I fell” he heard Harry say and stopped, not that he wanted to eavesdrop, he wasn't James. No he simply wanted to know what the two talked about.

“You fell” Snape replied dryly, Sirius would love to punch his teeth out of his mouth, he could basically hear the oiled haired boy gritting his teeth.

“Yeah, those damn stairs” Harry chuckled lightly.

“That damned, good for nothing, imbecile Dunderhead” Sirius wanted to snort, sure had the roles been reversed he would have accused Snape as well of pushing Harry down the stairs. But he would never hurt Harry, could never cause the boy pain. Physical that is, he tried his best to avoid the emotional pain. But he wasn't a saint and he wasn't an expert in having a boyfriend, he just sometimes said or did stupid things that hurt others.

“Harry! There you are” he glared at Snape but couldn’t wipe that smile of his face when Harry gave him a shy smile. Sirius saw Harry looking between him and Snape and knew that Harry was trying to figure out if he should step between them or if the two were smart enough to not start anything this early in the morning.

Smart just wasn't Sirius trait and neither was it Snape’s if the wand pressed at Sirius throat was any indication.

“You'll pay for hurting him” Snape accused him in a dark whisper making him chuckle, all the while Harry was talking but he just couldn't make out the words neither did he wanted to.

“Do you really think I am afraid of someone who is too scared to take a shower?” The wand at his throat dug in deeper and Sirius laughed, his own wand pressed against Snape’s thigh.

“If you ever-“

“Who is gonna stop me? You?” Before Snape could even reply Sirius send a stinging spell at his thigh watching in satisfactions as Snape’s face turned into a painful expression.

Snape recovered fast and send a spell towards Sirius who had stepped out of reach a little, he could make out Harry telling both two stop but now that Snape was throwing curses he couldn't just stop, that would make him look like an coward.

“Is that all you got Sniveluss?” Snape glared daggers at him and both threw another course of curses at each other. Harry had long stopped trying to see them reason and leaned against the wall arms crossed and glaring at both boys.

“Even a fish could do better than you” Sirius taunted “maybe you should try ask it for advice, ah I forgot you are afraid of water”

“At least I didn't drive my brother away, he told me just last week you are a poof and dead to him” Sirius stopped what he was doing which was a mistake since Snape’s spell got to him and he flew in the wall.

“Don't you talk about my brother” Sirius hissed.

“He isn't your brother anymore is he? At least if you ask him he always says the black heir died. Sirius who?” Sirius would never admit it but that hurt. More than any spell could ever hurt him. Snape is just messing with you, he told himself, Regulus doesn't hate you.

“Wanna go Harry?”

“Don't turn your back at me” Snape growled wand still raised.

He chuckled darkly and went to Harry pulling him close by the waist and dragging him away. Knowing that Snape was to honorable, he would never hex someone if they were turned away from him. He gave credit were credit was due, And he gave Snape just a tiny bit respect because of that. Just a tiny bit. To his surprise Harry swatted his hand away and send a glare towards him. “What's wrong babe?”

Sirius could still Hear Snape taunting him and he walked faster before he did something he would regret.

“What's wrong?!” Harry countered looking rather angry, maybe Sirius should have listened when Harry had previously talked. “You are a jerk, that's what's wrong.” Sirius stopped listening after that, not particularly interested in hearing Harry insult him. He couldn't stop looking at Harry though, yes the boy was angry, but he looked so good when he was angry. His eyes narrowed and shining bright as if the devil himself was sitting behind those green eyes lighting fire behind it. Harry closed and opened his fist as if he was fighting the urge to just punch Sirius, Harry was so angry he couldn't even control his breath and the way that mouth opened and closed rapidly and spat venom made Sirius knees weak and he wanted nothing more than to have an angry make out, but he knew that wouldn't be what Harry wanted. One day he would get it, even if he had to make Harry angry first. It would be worth it, Harry looked gorgeous when he cursed and wished someone their early death, didn't that just make him masochistic?

“Finished?” He asked lamely when Harry stopped talking, “Now want to tell me what you were doing with that git?” Was definitely the wrong thing to say, Harry looked ready to kill.

“Just talking Sirius! I am allowed to talk to people am I not?!”

“Sure you are but not with him” was also not the right thing to say, Sirius made a mental note to always think before speak with Harry.

“Oh yeah? Who is gonna stop me? You?” Harry repeated his earlier words and Sirius frowned. They shouldn't be fighting already.

“Fine, talk to him” Sirius sighed, he was fighting a losing battle and he knew that, “but you could have talked to me if something was bothering you”

Harry stopped walking and looked at him, “I ran into him, Sirius. I wasn't meeting him to talk to him” he shook his head and smiled not that Sirius understood what suddenly was so funny. “You don't need to be so jealous”

“Am not” Sirius crossed his arms and leaned lazily against the wall daring Harry to continue.

“Sure” Harry laughed. “What were you two fighting about anyway?”

“Why don't you ask him?”

“Siriuuuuuuuuus” Harry whined but he could see the smile in the emerald green eyes and had to bit his lip from smiling a Harry.

“He thinks that I hurt you” Sirius watched Harry's expression like a lion watching his prey.

“Why would he think that?” Confusion written all over Harry's face.

“I would think the same” Sirius shrugged “remember me accusing you of sleeping with Remus?” Confusion turned into disbelief

“How could I forget” he gave Sirius an accusing look.

“You left and I followed you, but not before I punched Remus –“

“You PUNCHED REMUS?” He looked angry again

“-and then you spent the night in the infirmary”

“Yeah but I told Seve- Snape I fell down the stairs” Harry looked at the ground as if ashamed of his almost slip, Sirius had to hide his smile, Harry was too adorable.

“That's like the most used excuse in history of excuses, babe” he tried to impersonate professor McGonnagals stern look but it was ruined as he smiled when he saw Harry's shameful expression.

“Sorry”

“What on earth are you apologising for?”

“Well because I didn't think of something else they all will think you pushed me down the stairs or something like that” he frowned and Sirius laughed.

“Babe, I hurt people for less, everyone already thinks it was me who hurt you, with or without your pitiful excuse” Harry hit his upper arm

“Don't say that so proudly” Harry rolled his eyes. “What's with the babe anyway?”

“You don't like it?” Harry shook his head.

“Makes me sound like I’m your girlfriend”

“Definitely not girlfriend” he looked Harry over “I don't like girls, too curvy those things” he explained. “But you ARE my boyfriend, so if not babe what should I call you? Darling?” He more asked himself than he asked Harry, who looked thoughtful at him.

“Since when am I your boyfriend?” Sirius didn't know if Harry was joking or not but it felt like being punched in his private area.

“You said you loved me, last night” Sirius said slowly. Harry nodded.

“I do” he confirmed.

“Well then that's settled” Sirius beamed. “Sugar?”

“Sugar? Are you offering it to me or …?” Sirius snorted, definitively not sugar then.

“How about Dashing? Pumpkin? Muffin?” Too bad Harr-bear was already taken. “Pufflypoo?”

Harry seemed to have forgotten his previous anger towards Sirius as he laughed out loud. “How about love?”

“Sure, Love” Sirius smiled and pecked his boyfriends lips. “Breakfast, Love?”

“Only if you stop calling me Love after every word” Harry chuckled and started walking towards the great hall, Sirius following after a very long look at Harry's behind.

“Harry” Hermione run towards them, she cast a look at Sirius as if telling him off which Sirius replied with a raised eyebrow. “Ron didn't mean what he said, you know how he is”

Harry shook his head tiredly “I know Shaggy” he looked at Sirius telling him to keep on walking while he talked to his friend but Sirius stubbornly staid next to him feinting ignorance. “It's just – I can't Hermione, I can't risk their lives. I want to save them not put them in danger” Harry whispered but Sirius heard it clearly, he looked at the wall as if he wasn't listening. So Ron wanted for Harry to tell them? He needed to make sure to give Ron a very big Christmas present this year and every year to come.

“I know” She replied just as silently, glaring at Sirius once again. “But maybe you need to? They won't stop until you tell them, you know your father”

“Not you too Hermione!” Sirius was roughly grabbed and dragged away from Hermione who looked at Harry sadly. Sirius made a mental note to also get Hermione something big.

Sirius knew better than to push Harry, he had enough experience with Lily, was too often the receiving end of her wand to push Harry's temper. The small boy looked dangerous, and Sirius understood why the killing curse didn't kill him, Sirius himself would be scared to face Harry right now. Sirius was sure if Harry would have looked at the basilisk now, it would have dropped dead.

“Mr. and Mrs. Granger, and Mr. Wazlib” professor McGonnagal stood behind them just as Harry was about to dig into his eggs. “The headmaster wants a word with the three of you after you finished eating, you are excused from the first class” at their nods she left.

“He knows” Ron paled

“Of course he knows!” Hermione yelled “oh no he is gonna expel us” Hermione panicked and Harry continued eating his eggs as if nothing special happened.

“What does the Headmaster know?” Lily asked and Harry snorted.

“You won't like it” he said and Sirius laughed.

“But I am sure James would be proud” Sirius said and saw James peaking up looking eagerly at the trio for some details.

“We broke into his office and stole the sorting hat” Harry explained and Lily scolded him while James told him he was never prouder to have Harry as his son.

“Told you” Sirius whispered into his boyfriends ear who beamed at his fathers words.

“Harry stop eating and let's go” Hermione panted, “if we go now we can make it to our first classes”

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up. Sirius watched as the trio headed towards their punishment.

Sirius waited but as the class started Harry and the others still haven’t made it back. Sirius looked at the clock, Time seemed to drag on and on and the trio still hadn't returned.

By lunch Sirius grew nervous, what if Dumbledore had expelled Harry? What if he would never see Harry again?! What if-

“Hey” Harry said as he sat down next to Sirius on the bench and proceeded to put food on his plate “Merlin I’m starving, Hermione if you don't let me finish my breakfast next time I’ll hex you into oblivion” Hermione rolled her eyes and scolded Ron for not eating slower.

“I’m hungry woman” Ron said after swallowing a mouthful of chicken.

“What did he say?” Lily asked worriedly “you were gone for a long time”

“Who?” Harry said absently stuffing a sausage into his mouth.

“Professor Dumbledore” Lily sighed “swallow first” Lily said as Harry opened his mouth sausage still only half way eaten.

“Can we have this conversation after I have finished eating? I am really hungry” Harry whined giving his plate a longing look.

“Harry! Stop acting like Ron!” Hermione said.

“Oi! Watsh daaad shuposs tu meen?”

“Ronald, swallow first if you want to talk to me” She chuckled at Ron's eye roll and continued eating while whispering to Ron who nodded at the right times.

“I am sure, Harry always swallows, don't you, Love” James spit out his drink and Harry gave Sirius a confused look not knowing what he talked about.

“Huh?” He asked confused. And Sirius heard the three marauders mutter so innocent.

“I always swallow” Sirius whispered and Remus spit out his drink and glared at Sirius.

“We are eating Padfoot!”

“Of course you swallow, I swallow. Everyone swallows” Harry said with raised eyebrows ignoring his fathers facepalm. “How else do you eat or drink? If you don't swallow it?”

“Smart boy” Sirius snickered.

“Why do I have the feeling we don't talk about the same thing?” Harry asked and the three marauders nodded while Sirius chuckled

“Harry, don't look but professor Dumbledore has been watching us since we entered. We need to be careful, and remember to always avoid his eyes” Harry nodded and returned to his mashed potatoes. Sirius looked up and Dumbledore had his gaze fixated on the trio, especially on Harry.

Harry stood up and walked with Ron and Hermione out of the hall. Stunned Sirius sat there looking at the retreating figure of his boyfriend. He turned to James who just shrugged. “Finished eating?” Sirius asked his friends who shook their heads “great let's go” he said and pulled their plates away from them.

The trio sat in front of the fire talking in hushed whispers about something. “Why did you leave without us?” Sirius asked

Harry sighed and motioned for the marauders to come closer Sirius crossed his arms above his chest. “Dumbledore thinks it's better if we don't tell you anything, or he has to make you all forget about us”

“Why?!” His father yelled.

“Keep your voice down” Hermione huffed “do you want the whole castle to hear? ”

“Why?” His father repeated softer.

“Because he doesn't want us to change the time”

“You didn't tell him” his mother whispered, Harry shook his head.

Remus and Peter tried to squeeze out more information about their meeting but beside saying they weren't expelled the trio refused to say more. Until hermione gasped and said they were almost late for classes. Sirius couldn't concentrate on any of his classes, his mind whirled around the fact that Dumbledore didn't want to change the time. It could save James and Lily's lives it could save all their lives and Dumbledore didn't wanted it? Why?

After what seemed to be the longest day so far, the group retreated back to their common room. Alice and Lily were playing a chess game and harry watched happily as his mom destroyed the chess game in anger.

“I see I got my chess skills from mum” he whispered into James ear who laughed loudly

“Oh yeah she sucks at it, and loses her temper every time one of her pieces gets destroyed” James told his heir snickering

“Harry, Ron” Hermione called and the trio went up to the boys room, no one saying anything that the with went into the boys room, after the hundredths time of her being there no one really cared anymore. The marauders following quickly knowing that they would talk about either their plan or about Dumbledore. “We need to be smart about this, we can't risk to make him suspicious, but maybe he is right Harry. No good things come from messing with time”

“Are you saying to just let my parents die?” Harry growled and Hermione gasped clearly having forgotten that small detail.

“Of- of course not Harry!” She cried out. “We need to be smarter about this, Dumbledore is already suspicious, he didn't believe the drunk story we told him”

The marauders went in slowly sitting down on their beds and trying to look as occupied as possible so they would just keep talking.

“Well technically you were drunk” Harry said and Ron chuckled.

“You don't happen to have more of that potion do you?” Ron asked James who snorted and shook his head.

“Ronald!” Hermione gasped.

“Not for me” He said but he did look disappointed, “don't you remember the person with the diary? I am sure if one of us gave him something to drink it would be easier?”

“That's- that's brilliant” Hermione nodded and turned to James “could you make some more, Mr. potter?”

James grimaced at his name, “We could” he agreed “if you tell us what you have planned of course” he gave her a strained smile.

“Of course” she sighed and looked at Harry who stubbornly shook his head giving Ron an I told you so look.

“Do you have to listen to Harry?” Peter asked timidly and a glare was send his way. “I mean, is he your leader or something?” He asked hastily.

“They're his family, its his choice whether he wants to tell or not” Ron said and Harry smiled thankfully at him. Seems like Ron doesn't want them to know after all, well his present has gotten smaller already, Sirius sighed.

“So what happened at Dumbledores?” James asked, as Hermione yawned and excused her. James tried to stop her but Ron shook his head.

“She is even scarier if she is in a bad mood or tired” Ron chuckled and James nodded. Harry yawned as well and got ready for bed.

No one answering James question, but from James look he hadn't really anticipated an answer, but it was worth the try.

In 30 minutes it would be midnight, his 18th birthday. Remus and James tried desperately to keep the two boys awake it was marauder tradition after all to stay awake till 12, which was harder when they were 11 year olds, and celebrate into their birthday together.

Harry emerged back into the room wearing only his bottom pyjama pants and his upper uniform top.

“Harry?” Ron asked pointing at his mismatched pyjama.

“I kinda lost the pyjama shirt” Harry sighed. Sirius had put it in his trunk because he wanted to see the boys upper body, but no luck.

Sirius went to his trunk and got a Sex Pistols T-shirt one of his favourite. “Here dashing.”

“Thanks” Harry beamed, he changed in front of Sirius and Sirius breath hitched as he saw Harry slowly opening the bottoms of his uniform and when he slipped out Sirius saw for the first time the scars the smaller boy had hidden all this time. He had a large one on his under arm. A few on his chest and some on his waist. Sirius was sure he had some on his back as well. “What's a sex pistol?” Harry asked not aware that the others in the room had been staring at him.

“Harry! I have a right mind to rip it off of you” Sirius groaned. “What's a sex pistol? Is the same question as who is Queen?”

“The Queen of England?” Harry asked and Sirius groaned even louder.

“They are only the best bands to ever exist Harry!”

“Ah” Harry chuckled

“At least tell me you know Led Zeppelin!”

“Never heard their music but mum mentioned you are a fan of them”  
Sirius looked ready to faint, how was Harry his boyfriend again? Right, he loved that uneducated fool. “Calm down snuffles” Harry laughed as he saw Sirius expression

“Snuffles?” James laughed. “I knew Padfoot was too cool for you, you are after all a cute puppy”

Sirius glared at father and son and turned into animagus form, growling at both. But when he looked at Harry the small boy looked near tears, “Snuffles” he whispered and Sirius found himself being hugged to death by Harry. Sirius licked Harry's face and the tears away before someone could see and Harry laughed. “That's disgusting, Snuffles” Sirius growled and barked loudly “oh alright, Padfoot” Harry snickered as Sirius playfully bit Harry in the arm, Sirius barked happily and gave Harry some more sloppy kisses before he returned to Harry's arm he looked at the scar and tilted his head questioningly. “That's nothing” Harry assured and tried to hide his arm away from Sirius who looked at him with his tongue hanging. Before Sirius could continue to shower Harry with his kisses an antler hit him in the head and Prongs looked down at Harry who smiled sadly “Prongs”..

“Can I?” He asked shyly and held his hand out and Prongs butted his head against it in answer. “You are beautiful” Harry said and then blushed “I mean, your stag form is beautiful, not you!” Harry blushed some more, “Not that you aren't good looking, I mean we basically look the same to say you don't look good would be insulting me as well” Harry rambled and Sirius sniggered which came out as small little barks. Prongs tilted his head, showing off his teeth in a cheesy Grin, and licked Harry's face with his tongue. Harry laughed and wiped the spit away. “You two are the worst” he laughed. “I just showered” he complained as James gave him another lick. Harry stood up and went around prongs to really get a look at him, and as he stroke prongs fur, Sirius saw it.

There was something written on Harry's hand he had never seen before, how he had missed it, he didn't know. Sirius jumped at Harry and heard him crash to the floor with a wince “Snuffles what the-“

Sirius quickly changed to his human form, ignoring Harry's gasp as a boy suddenly sat on top of his chest. Sirius took the hand and read it, he couldn't made out the words in his dog form. He loved being padfoot but his dog eyes were stupidly bad, he couldn’t see properly if his life depended on it, but his smell and hearing senses doubled in dog form so it was worth it.

“I mustn't tell lies” Sirius whispered and Harry tensed and tried to break Sirius grip on his hand.   
“How did you get this?! Who gave you this?” James returned into his human form and bend down as well, Harry pushed Sirius off and pulled his hand back.

Harry was one moment there and another he was gone.

“Harry?!” Sirius yelled, he looked at Remus who looked with wide eyes at the spot Harry at just been, Peter gasped and ran towards the spot Harry had vanished into air. Sirius frantically turned around to search for Ron, if Ron was still here than everything would be okay right? It would mean that Harry was still here and didn't return to his time just yet.

But Ron wasn't there, Sirius hung his head low as he looked to James who looked as if Harry had just died. James turned around until they heard hooves and squeaking. Middle in the room was the bloody ferret. “You are Harry's” Sirius said and went to pick up the struggling ferret that had been jumping around the room. He gave it to James who nodded his thanks.

Sirius couldn't bear the pain and transformed into pad-snuffles. But his heart stopped when he saw a thestral. Then he looked at the ferret, a red ferret. A thestral with a white bolt on the forehead. “Harry?” He barked and the thestral that had been standing next to James turned to him, showing his teeth that probably was Harry grinning.

Sirius jumped happily to him, and bowed low as if to attack, hooves could be heard and Harry run around the room. The ferret, Ron looking longingly at his friend, trying to break free. Sirius turned human and told James to transform. Then he turned back and chased Harry around the small room, while barking happily. He saw Prongs looking at him oddly and he jerked his head towards Harry, but either Prongs couldn't see him or he didn't get that it was Harry.

“Padfoot, its almost midnight, change back” James sighed.

“Didn't you see him?” Sirius asked and James gave him an odd look. “Change back you two” he said to the ferret. The ferret turned and before him stood a grinning Ron.

“James I like you mate, but next time I bite your fingers off if you don't let me go” James gasped and looked at the room for Harry, who emerged a second later chuckling. The chuckling died out after James hugged him.

“Don't ever scare me like that again,” James whispered into his ear “I thought I lost you” Harry gave him a sad smile. “What are you?”

“A thestral” Harry smiled

“My son” James said proudly “an animagus” then he looked his heir in the eyes “unregistered?” Harry nodded warily and James hugged him again “I am so proud” Remus snorted.

Harry beamed “really?” He asked timidly and it broke Sirius heart.

“Really” James said and ruffled Harry's hair who grinned at his father. “Don't tell your mother though, she will force you to register” he chuckled and Harry nodded eagerly as if he had longed to have a secret only he and his father knew about.

“Why could I see you in my animagus form but James couldn't?”

“Maybe because you're a grim and a death omen.” Ron suggested

“You can't be a magical creature as animagus” Remus said in teacher mode and Harry laughed loudly.

“I’m a Thestral moo-Remus”

“Ah ya, forget what I just said” Remus said embarrassed and added “Harry you can call me moony”Harry looked warily but gave Remus a nod.

“A ferret and a thestral, what's H-“

“Sirius if you call me ferret one more time I bite you when you least expect it, where you least want to” he looked at Sirius daring him to say something. “I am a weasel”

“Weasley the weasel” Sirius snorted receiving a pillow in his face from Ron. “Oi! Don't start something you don't plan on finish” he smirked and spelled his pillow to hit Ron repeatedly who squeaked and tried to take cover behind a laughing Harry.

James threw him to the ground, “Happy Birthday old man!” He yelled into his ears. “To another miserable year, and to you snogging my son!”

Sirius rolled his eyes and tried to stand up, he looked at Harry who had a sad look on his face before it turned into a sad smile. James got up and as soon as he was gone he was replaced by Remus who tackled him to the ground once more, smiling sheepishly

“Happy Birthday Snuffles!” He said smiling down on Sirius, “To another fun year and to you snogging prongs’ son” he laughed and got up from Sirius.

As soon as Peter wanted to hug him as well he stood up quickly, he still wasn't over the betrayal, Harry could say oh so often that he hasn't done it yet, it didn't change the fact that he was the reason Harry grew up without parents.

“Happy Birthday padfoot” Peter smiled and Sirius was proud of himself that he managed to return peters smile.

“Thank you” Sirius said smiling at his best friends, who looked ready to tackle him again. Sirius quickly looked at the other two boys.

Harry and Ron stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, Ron still being hit by Sirius’ pillow. “Erm Happy Birthday Sirius” Ron cleared his throat while Harry looked awkwardly and embarrassed on the ground. “Could you maybe” Ron pointed to the pillow and Sirius canceled the spell “thanks” Ron smiled, and then bumped Harry's shoulders softly.

“Happy Birthday?” Harry more asked making Sirius bark a laugh.

“What no hug, Love?” Harry's eyes darted from James to Sirius. Sirius looked at him with puppy eyes, opening his arms a little.

“Just hug him already” James laughed as Harry still stood there looking uncertain. Harry walked over to Sirius smiling shyly before hugging him.

“Happy Birthday, babe” he whispered into Sirius ear and Sirius could feel the smirk against his cheek. Harry gave him a small peck on the cheek and let go of Sirius who grinned like a fool. Unlike Harry he had no problem with being called babe. He was a babe, he was good looking and if he was a girl he would be a fine babe.

Sirius dragged Harry down on his bed next to him and sat down, it was tradition that all presents would be put on the birthdays boys bed, and Harry was just a gift from the universe. Next to Harry were three packages, he smiled at his friends who raised their eyebrows at seeing Harry displayed as a present. Ron sat down next to James on Harry's bed watching the black heir opening his presents, while Remus leaned against the bed post and Peter sat on the floor.

Sirius opened peters present which was a collection of best zonkos products and chocolate from honeydukes “I know a few people who would love to ‘play’ a game with us” he shook the zonkos products in the air, James laughed loudly and told Sirius about a new prank he come up with. Sirius listened eagerly while Harry and Remus rolled their eyes and peter and Ron were grinning from ear to ear at hearing how the Slytherins would be pranked in the following week.

Next he opened Moony’s present. It was a book, but it wasn't that kind of book. The cover was a leather brown and written on it was The Marauders. Accompanied with a large black dog on the cover in the background was a wolf a stag and a small rat that sat on the stags head. “Moony”

“Open it” Remus said shyly.

Sirius smiled as he opened the book, he could feel Harry shift next to him to get a better look and smiled at his boyfriend, putting the book down a little so Harry could see better. The book was full of pictures and stories of what the marauders had been up to from year one to now. The first picture was of Remus who waved in to the camera, but Sirius saw himself in the back ground, his mother bidding him goodbye. He still remembered her last words. “Remember, you are the black heir, slytherin is in your blood, make me proud” well he had done the exact opposite.

“Is that your mother?” Harry pointed at the black haired woman in a black robe and green earrings. Sirius nodded. “She is pretty” Harry gasped. “I mean I saw the portrait, but for such a horrible person she is really pretty” Sirius laughed.

“Believe me, on the inside she is rotten” Sirius looked back to the book forgetting the people around him as he pointed Harry to some of the funnier pictures until Peter cleared his throat.

“Right, sorry” Sirius laughed “thank you moony, this means a lot” he smiled at his friend.

“Oi moony! You better give me one as well” James said crossing his arms.

“Guess you would have to wait and see Prongs” Remus chuckled

Then Sirius looked at the strange package from James and opened it to reveal two leather jackets. Though one was too small for him. He looked at James.

“Do you often forget your stuff?” Ron asked and Sirius looked at him oddly. “Property of Sirius Black” Ron read and Sirius turned the jacket around. The smaller jacket indeed has written on it ‘property of Sirius Black’ and a dog paw as signature. While the slightly larger one had a lightning bolt on it and the initial H.P on the bottom.

“Prongs” Sirius breath hitched was this what he thought it was.

“Don't make me regret it” Sirius nodded and gave Harry the smaller jacket. This was the best birthday present, a blessing from his best friend, his brother, to date his son. He snorted inwardly of how odd that sounded.

Harry looked at the leather jacket and at Sirius, “looks good” he said and handed it back.

“It's yours” he snorted and Harry gasped.

“Sirius you can't regift something, it may be a bit smaller but maybe –“

“Harry it's yours if you want it” he jerked his head into Sirius direction.

“Ah” Ron said smiling “now I get the writing”

Harry looked at the writing and blushed “ah” he said and Sirius laughed.

“Snuffles, a word” James said and Sirius groaned at his ‘new’ nickname. “Sirius, I want you to be happy, and if it's with my son then so be it, as long as Harry is happy I don't have anything against it. But” he said and looked Sirius in the eyes. “Promise me to not try to get into his pants first chance you get? And please no snogging while I’m there?” Sirius smiled at James face that was trying not to cringe.

“I promise. Thank you Prongs” he hugged his friend “or should I call you daddy now?”

“Prat” James scoffed and swatted Sirius head who laughed.

“Git”

“Come oooooon Harry! Try it on” Ron whined and Remus encouraged him while Peter chanted, put it on, repeatedly.

Sirius and James looked at a red faced Harry who reluctantly put the leather jacket on while the other three boys cheered him on. Remus gave him a wolf whistle making Harry blush even more.

“Looking good babe” Sirius said as he came back “you know what, keep the shirt” Sirius said. “But maybe change the pants” he chuckled and Harry stuck his tongue out.

“I don't even know where I should wear a leather jacket to? I don't even know if I like leather” Sirius raised his eyebrow. “I mean animals died for it, Sirius”

“It's faux” James said “as hard rock as Sirius might be, he hates killing innocents, at least I think he does, that includes animals. All his leather jackets and leather boots and leather pants are faux, I think you had a fur coat once right? Wasn't it also faux?”

“It is” Sirius confirmed “its faux but protected by magic, making it look real and almost as strong as real leather” Harry nodded and got out of the jacket and put it inside his trunk neatly.

“I Erm, I didn't really got you anything” Harry looked at the ceiling as if a present would magically fall down from the sky, “I’ll give you something in the future” he laughed.

“No need, you actually can give me something right now” Harry blushed an Evans red. “An answer” Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

“Sirius” he begged

“Only answer one question, and I promise we won't interfere with whatever you have planned as long as you don't ask us too”

“Wait a minute” James spoke up.

“Prongs, if you or Lily die, so does Harry! I am sorry, but I won't risk that!” Sirius raised his voice and as Remus opened his mouth he glared at him “Remus if you die, so does your son!” James sat down thinking it over before giving Sirius a nod. “We just want to know what you guys have planned, we promise you can keep us safe and we won't try to risk our lives for you” Sirius continued to Harry who looked sadly at him. Sirius knew he was a down right jerk for this, but he needed answers needed to know that it wasn't that dangerous. That Harry was over reacting. He couldn't sleep anymore thinking that his Harry was in danger and no one could do anything to save or stop him.

“You better get Lily for this. I won't tell you twice” Harry said miserably “I won't say anything until you all promise to not interfere”

James stood up and went outside and soon their heard James calling for Lily and several angry replies for him to shut up.

Ron sat down next to Harry, giving his shoulder a squeeze and Harry gave him a thankful smile, but he wouldn't look at Sirius and Sirius already regretted making the boy tell his secret.

Hermione and Lily came in, both offering Sirius a quick congratulations and then hermione went to Harry's other side while Lily sat down next to Sirius on his bed. Remus took a seat on the floor, wormtail following suit and James leaned against the bed post.

“Mom, Dad. I need you to promise to not interfere.”

Both looked unhappy but quickly promised if it wasn't a life and death situation for Harry. Harry shook his head.

“Under no circumstances will you interfere” Harry said calmly.

“But- Harry” his mother pleaded

“If you can't promise it, I won't tell” he looked hopeful which was quickly shattered when his parents promised to not interfere and only help him if he asked them too.

He looked expectantly at Sirius Remus and Peter and all three gave him their promise as well.

“There is a reason why Voldemort didn't die” Harry begun. “What do you know about Horcruxes?” Sirius gasped.

“He didn't?!”

“He did” Hermione confirmed and the others gave Sirius a questioning look. Sirius explained quickly what a horcrux was equaling in the others giving horrified gasps.

“Yes,” Harry confirmed “Voldemort made six”

“Impossible” Sirius almost yelled. “You need to kill to split your soul”

“And that exactly has stopped Voldemort? Has he not killed hundreds of people already?” Harry asked lazily and Sirius went silent. “We hunt those Horcruxes and destroy them” Harry continued. No one daring to say anything the only sound was the quick breathing around him.

“That's why I needed the basilisk venom, only that and fiendfyre can destroy a Horcrux, and well I am not very good at fiendfyre” he chuckled. “After the Horcruxes are gone it's only Voldemort, a mortal, killable” Harry finished.

“You said you weren't going to face Voldemort” his mother cried and Sirius regretted giving Harry his promise, but then he regretted already that he was going to break his promise, there was no way he would let Harry face it alone.

“I said I wouldn't face him, I didn't say who him was” Harry smiled apologetically at his mother.

“Please leave Voldemort to someone else. Give the horcruxes locations to Dumbledore, you don't need to face him” his mother pleaded but Harry only smiled sadly at her.

“It was Dumbledore that told me about Horcruxes, it was Dumbledore that said it was I who had to face Voldemort at the end. I am the chosen one”

“No!” She cried and Sirius quickly hugged her, needing it more than he would ever admit. James looked pale and he had dropped to the floor already, his hands covering his face, Sirius knew where hiding his tears.

“Look!” Harry said. “This is why I never wanted to tell you” Lily winced and Harry continued softer “it will be fine. Is it dangerous? Yea. Mum, dad. I have done it before. I can do it again and we will all be free from him. Can you trust me that I know what I am doing? And don't say I am to young to face Voldemort” Harry shook his head “I’ve faced him my entire life” Harry stood up and started pacing.

“First year, when he wanted to steal the philosopher stone, I prevented it.” Harry counted “Second year I faced his horcrux and the basilisk, fourth year he resurrected using a ritual and my blood, fifth year we battled in the ministry of magic” he looked at Sirius sadly “sixth year Dumbledore told me about horcruxes and Voldemort’s life. Seventh year I go horcruxes hunting and I killed him at the final battle” Harry finished looking at the door.

“You killed him?” Peter said awed.

“That doesn't mean you have to face him” his father said slowly

“Unfortunately it does” Harry replied just as slow.

“No it does not Harry!” His mother stood up and went to Harry who took a few steps back. “Let someone else handle it” Harry shook his head, and Sirius thought Lily was going to slap him, but instead she grabbed the collar of his shirt, “please Harry”

“I’m doing this for you mum” Harry whispered

“No your not” she cried and Harry hung his head

“No I am not” he agreed “I am too selfish, I cant live with the guilt any longer mum” Harry cried and Lily hugged him tightly no one else made a sound. “This is the only way I can finally be free, this is the only way I can finally make things right” Hermione cried and Sirius was confused was Harry talking about his death again?

“Let me do this, let me make things right, let me change the time so that you can survive” Harry whispered and Lily wanted to shook her head but Harry grabbed her chin “ mum, I love you, in 3 years you will have me, and you won't die, do this for me please?” Lily nodded and Harry smiled giving her a kiss on her tear stained cheek.

“How do you plan on defeating Voldemort?” Remus asked his voice unnaturally raw.

“We share the same core Phoenix feather, fawkes feather to be precise” he wasn't going to say that he had the elder wand in his trunk. Harry looked at his best friends who looked sadly at him as if their dangerous situation just dawned upon them, then there was Remus who looked torn as if he didn't wanted it to be true and wanted to help but he gave his promise. His father still said on the floor face hidden between his two large hands, his mother crying silently in front of him and Peter looking at him in a way Collins and Ginny used to look at him. Sirius had a expression on him that Harry didn't like at all, it seemed too much as if he was going to break his promise.

“I need a minute” Harry then said and walked out of the room that seemed suddenly way to crowded for him.

Sirius quickly followed suit he won't allow Harry to always leave when he couldn't handle the situation.

“Leave me alone” Harry said not bothering to look behind him. He stood in front of the room of requirements and went in, Sirius silently following.

“Harry” he rasped “I am sorry for making you tell”

Harry shrugged throwing himself on Sirius old king size bed.

Sirius closed the door and lay down beside him. “Love?”

“Hmm”

“Can I get another hug?”

No reply

“It's my birthday?” He tried again, he just needed to feel Harry, needed the reassurance that his boyfriend was alright.

“That's blackmail” came the reply. But Harry face him and opened up his arms and Sirius went in. Hugging him so tightly he knew the other boy had trouble breathing.

“I-“ Sirius began but was cut off by Harry kissing him. Not that he minded, and he returned the kiss eagerly. He hold Harry tightly and pinned him down underneath him. Harry moaned as Sirius weight was on him and snaked his arms around Sirius neck.

“Let's just forget that happened” Harry whispered “let's just-“

Sirius kissed him roughly. He didn’t wanted to forget, couldn't, wouldn't. Harry would risk his life fighting a dark lord. The dark lord! How could he just forget something like that.

He stopped kissing when he felt the need of air becoming too much. Harry looked deliciously hot. His messy hair looked already post shag, his breath out of control and his face flushed, not to mention those full lips looked red and swollen due to Sirius rough kisses and bites.

Harry seemed to have reached his kissing quota for today, he quickly pushed Sirius off and sat down on the bed. “Tell me about your first time coming to Hogwarts?”

“I met your father in the train” Sirius smiled bitterly, why did Harry have to be James’ son. “We became friends in an instant though I was – if you ever tell him that I kill you slowly” Harry snickered and gave him a nod “I was afraid we would end up enemies once I was put into Slytherin. The Black family has always been in Slytherin. My parents had made sure I remembered that” Harry looked troubled.

“But the hat sorted you into Gryffindor” Harry whispered

“Best day of my life really. I hated my family, but that hate only grew after I got sorted, now I was the biggest disappointment of their life.”

“Well they are stupid, especially your mo-“ Harry looked horrified “I’m sorry, I really didn't mean to say that”

“Are you kidding me?!” Sirius mocked “I better hope for your sake that you did mean that” Harry shook his head amused. “Anyway, I got my first howler the very next day” Harry winced “have experience with howlers?”

“Ron got one, we Erm” Harry started laughing “we stole his fathers flying car, and flew to Hogwarts because a house-elf blocked the entrance and we couldn't get to the train”

“Your life really isn't boring is it?”

“Crashed the car into the whomping willow, and a few muggles saw us”

“And you didn't got expelled?”

“Perks of being the boy who lived” Harry said bitterly

“But then again, Dumbledore doesn’t expel easily, I almost killed someone and I am still here”

“Why did you do it?” Harry asked after a bit of silence

“I didn't mean to kill him, I- I am not proud of what I did Harry. It was a bad day” Sirius looked away unable to see disgust in Harry's eyes. “I was drunk, had a bad fight with your dad, don't ask me about what I already forgot it, Snape came and taunted me, the way he always does. Telling me stuff my parents always said, I got so angry Harry” Sirius shook his head and Harry placed a hand on Sirius upper arm, Sirius chances a glance and saw Harry looking at him with understanding. “I wanted to scare him, wanted for him to finally be scared enough to leave us alone, when Snape went away, my previous words registered and I knew what I had done, to be honest I didn't thought about Snape, I thought about Remus I had betrayed his trust, his secret and even worse if Remus hurt Snape he would be locked up in Azkaban only because I couldn't hold my tongue” Sirius sighed. “I went to your dad immediately, needles to say he was pissed. The three of them didn't talk to me for 4 months, it was the loneliest I ever was”

“But they forgave you” Harry said smiling

“I never forgave myself” Sirius said smiling bitterly. Harry came closer but still hesitantly as if afraid he would scare Sirius away.

“I know that feeling” Harry said looking sadly in the far away distance “people can say it's okay, not my fault, they forgive me. But I will always hate myself for it”

“Well aren't I lucky that my boyfriend is as messed up as me?” Sirius joked and intertwined their fingers together.

“I blew my aunt up once” Harry said giving him a smile.

“Did you now?” Sirius laughed Harry nodded

“She was taunting me, talking about how I should be grateful that uncle Vernon let me stay, she said dad was a useless drunk and mum was a bitch” Sirius growled “I didn’t know what happened but I got so angry Sirius” he shook his head “next thing I know aunt marge is blowing up like a balloon. I ran away afraid the ministry will expel me and lock me up, and that's when I met you” he smiled shyly “I thought you were aurors coming for me,” he snickered and Sirius smiled softly “I accidentally called the knightbus and quickly went in”

“When did you see me again?” Sirius asked eagerly

“In diagon alley, I think” Harry scrunched up his nose “then in Hogwarts, I saw the real you in the shrieking shag, I Erm, I tried to kill you” Harry winced and gave Sirius an apologetic look.

“Well I am glad you didn't manage to kill me then” Sirius laughed, “I take it you thought I was guilty of betraying your parents.” Harry nodded, “why did you want to kill me but not peter?”

“I heard you were my godfather, I saw pictures of you smiling next to my dad” Harry said softly “it hurt Sirius, to think you would betray them, because you were his best friend” Sirius moved closer dropping his head on Harry's shoulder “after I found out you were betrayed and you wanted to kill Peter” Sirius growled at the name of the traitor “I only thought about losing you, I couldn’t let you, I needed you, wanted you in my life and not back in Azkaban”

“I won't ever leave you, Harry”

“You asked me to move in with you that night” Harry leaned his head against Sirius, enjoying the feeling of Sirius breath against his skin.

“Did we live together?” Harry shook his head

“Remus forget to take his wolfsbane potion "

"what's that?" Sirius asked

"a potion to be in control as he transforms" Harry smiled and then continued "Peter escaped, without Peter we couldn't prove your innocence and so we helped you escape, we saw each other a few times, but I didn't know a lot about you, never knew your birthday, I am ashamed to say I never asked you”

Sirius laughed and kissed Harrys neck, “I am sure I didn't minded it, Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm”

“Your fight with Ron, what was it about? Did he want for you to tell us?”

“No” Harry chuckled “Ron thought you could help us, you are good at spells and potions” Harry explained, “ he thought it would be a good idea if you all could maybe teach us, or supply stuff” Harry looked at Sirius

“We could” Sirius nodded.

“Yes now that you know the plan” Harry rolled his eyes “I told him you wouldn't help us if you wouldn't have known the plan” Sirius thought this over and nodded his agreement “so Ron thought that maybe it wouldn't be bad to tell you a little bit, I didn't wanted to”

“What changed your mind?”

“You asked”

“I asked before” Sirius sighed.

“I know, Sirius. But now you promised not to ‘save me’” Harry looked away, “I needed that, assurance that you all will be safe and alive”

"how did you get your scars?" 

"Next time" Harry promised 

Sirius held him tighter, “So now that you are my property” Sirius smirked at Harry “do you really have to leave?”

“You know I do believe that's the best title I ever had. I was the chosen one, the boy who lived and now I am the property of Sirius black”

“It does have a nice ring to it” Sirius snorted and laughed

“I don't know when or how we will leave” Harry confessed “I hope I never have to, but in my live I never get what I want” Harry smiled bitterly

Sirius didn't know what to say so he only dropped a kiss on Harry's shoulder holding him tightly in his arms. He didn't wanted to lose this boy, but if he had to he would at least make sure that he had spent as much time as possible with him. “Ready to face the angry mob?” Harry sighed and shook his head

“How did your parents know that you were sorted into Gryffindor?” Sirius shrugged

“They know a lot of people, Love. I wouldn’t be surprised if they know about us already.”

“Would they be angry?”

Sirius hugged Harry close to his body. “You defeated Voldemort, you surely would be able to face the demon that calls itself my mother” he snorted and Harry swatted his head.

“I’ve heard enough of your mothers screaming, I really don't want to meet her in person, if the portrait was horrible already I don't wanna imagine the real deal” Harry shivered “I mean the way she screeches about blood purity is just .. argh” Harry closed his hands as if he was choking an invisible someone.

Sirius barked a laugh and kissed Harry's neck. “Have I told you that I love you? God I love it when you talk that way”

“When I badmouth your mother?” Sirius nodded. “You are weird, Sirius Black” Sirius smirked and dragged Harry off the bed giving him one last kiss before he dragged him back to their room. As soon as they opened the door Lily stood there looking at Harry.

“Harry” his mother came forward awkwardly, “James and I, we talked” Harry looked alarmed. “We promised not to interfere” she began “but we would like it if you would be honest with us and you tell us everything that's going on to at least ease our minds?”

“I can do that” Harry smiled. James raised his eyebrow at Sirius as he saw Harry's state. Swollen lips and even messier hair. But Sirius shook his head and James nodded. “Dad?” Harry asked and James turned to him. “Who does Lucius Malloy fancy?”

“You don't know that?” Sirius chuckled and James laughed and looked at Ron.

“The only man who turned him down, rumour has it he still loves him, but ever since he turned him down it made him pretty angry, didn't it?” James asked the room, Remus nodded, Peter snickered and Lily rolled her eyes. “I heard,” he began again. “They can't stand each other anymore, not since that person refused him and married someone else or was it refused to divorce?”

“I think it was refused to divorce” Remus said “the person has children already, one is in this room right now”

Ron looked at Harry and Harry and Hermione stared at Ron. “Arthur Weasley” Harry whispered and Sirius nodded. 

 


	18. Mapo and Papo

“Whaaa-“ The rest of Ron's scream turned into a terrified squeak and before them sat Ruddy. Lily gasped as she looked the small weasel over. Ruddy ran to Hermione who tried to soothe him by scratching his ears softly. James laughed loudly and Harry shook his head at him, his father coughed loudly to hide his amusement.

“Ron” Harry sighed as he saw two large brown eyes full of panic look up to him. “Lucius fancying your dad isn't that bad. Snape fancies my mom” Harry reminded his friend who tilted his head and ran to Harry. Trying to tell him something but Harry didn't know what the the little weasel that was his best friend was trying to say.

James choke on his fake coughing and pouted at his heir. Lily blushed and James pouted at her some more which Lily returned with a smile and a reassuring kiss.

Ruddy squeaked at his friends and kept on running around telling them stories no one understood. “I think he is in shock” Peter laughed watching the weasel creep on him slowly, Peter made out to pat him only to be bitten in the finger. Peter yelled out his pain and scowled at the animagus who went to Harry with a smug look. Harry had to bite the inside of his cheek from smiling as he patted his best friend.

Ruddy huffed some air out of his nose and ran back to Hermione screeching at her. “Look at the bright side Ruddy” Harry started and Ruddy ran back to him hurriedly, “we now know who gets to seduce Lucius” Ruddy jumped at the laughing boy and tried to bite him in his nose. Harry's reflexes though were better and he grabbed the weasel midair and gently gave it to Sirius who sat on the floor next to him.

Sirius mumbled something that sounded like good weasel as he let the animagus back down on the floor. After 15 minutes of Ruddy running around without turning back into his human form James spoke up “I think your friend is stuck”

“What?” Harry asked turning to his father.

“I think, he panicked and his animal mind took over” James explained and Harry frowned.

“That can happen?”

“Did you not read the books?” Harry motioned at Hermione.

“She did” he said absently.

“Are you an animagus as well?” Lily asked his son who nodded uncertainly. “Can you show me?”

“You won't be able to see me unless you have seen death” Harry whispered.

“Please tell me you registered?” Harry chose to pretend he hadn't heard the question and turned back around to watch Ruddy who looked at James as if waiting for an explanation on how to turn back.

“I can't believe I’m marrying you, Potter” Harry heard his mother whisper to a chuckling James “This is all your fault, our son will be just like you, a marauder. I hope you are Happy and proud”

“Sure am” his dad confirmed with a snort, “and so are you” he gave her a peck on the lips.

“Animagi is advanced Magic, of course I am proud” Harry blushed under his mothers words and a goofy smile appeared on his face “I just wish he would register” she sighed and Harry looked at her giving her an apologetic smile. Lily smiled down at her soon to be son and gave him a smile that showed all her emotion off, Pride, Happiness, sadness and Love.

Harry still smiling, looked at his father and asked the question Ruddy has been unable to ask. “What do we do now?”

“Clear your mind, don't panic”

“Okay” Harry said and got ready to meditate.

“Not you, Dork” James rolled his eyes, “I am talking to Ruddy. Meditate, once the panic fog clears up you will be able to turn back. Close your eyes and imagine the place where you and Ron always met in the second stage.”

Ruddy gave a quick nod and 20 minutes later Ron returned.

“You did it! Without getting your tail stuck in the process” Remus cheered and Sirius next to Harry blushed. Harry was determined to get that story later, he wondered absently if there would be a picture in the book Remus had gifted his boyfriend.

“What?! Lucius fancies my dad?!”

“Ron, it's an hour too late for that”

“Harry!” Ron whined “couldn't he fancy your dad” Harry laughed as James yelled his disagreement.

“Why does it matter who Lucius fancies” Lily asked looking at Harry as if to remind him at his earlier promise.

“Lucius has a Horcrux, we need to distract him while we search the manor for it” Harry explained watching as his mother’s face paled.

“Is there no other way?”

“We could fight him and make us tell us where it is? But he is being crucioed by the dark lord I doubt he would spill the beans” Next to him Sirius asked Remus what beans had anything to do with it and he crooked a smile at the boy.

“Harry, you have to help me how to become gay” Ron sighed, looking ready to throw up at even the thought of having to flirt with the death eater.

“Sirius could teach you” Harry suggested

“You are just as gay as I am” Sirius rolled his eyes “besides you don't become gay, but we could use polyjuice and I could distract Lucius while you three search the manor” Harry looked at him with jealousy and anger.

“You promised not to interfere” Harry reminded him with a smile but Sirius heard the angry edge in his voice.

Lily and Hermione excused themselves not long after and everyone went to bed.

Harry threw Sirius curtain aside uncertainly, “I wanted to wish you a good night” he said as grey eyes looked up to him. “and a Happy Birthday” he said shyly.

“Good Night Love” Sirius replied smiling and grabbed the boy to him, Harry laughed a little as he fell on top of Sirius. “Now how about a proper birthday kiss?” He smirked.

Harry smiled and placed a kiss on Sirius lips, which the boy eagerly replied, Harry just couldn't get enough from those lips, he felt addicted to Sirius, couldn't get enough of him, every time he was away it felt like that his brain longed for Sirius touches and Sirius kisses.

Harry slipped his tongue into Sirius mouth and moaned as Sirius sucked gently on it. “Happy Birthday” he smiled gave Sirius another peck and retreated to his own bed.

Next day wasn't any better, Hermione tried to soothe Ron’s nerve of his upcoming task and the marauders tried to soothe Sirius’ nerves after his yearly ‘Happy Birthday’ Howler from his parents had arrived at breakfast. The students all had an anticipating look in their eyes as they watched the Gryffindor table and they weren't disappointed when the yelling began. His mother began the letter with telling him what she thought of her heir; disappointment. Then his father reminded him of his duty as the Black heir, he should remember what the ancient and noble house of Black stands for. The letter ended with his mother saying, that a Black heir should never lower himself to Harry Granger, the mudblood.

Sirius had been laughing at the howler, making fun of it, until Harry's name had been dropped together with the M word, Sirius had tensed up and looked ready to kill, even the students that had been watching with delight at Sirius and the Howler quickly turned back to their plates. Harry had tried to make Sirius laugh, had tried to tell him that it didn't matter what his mother said. Sirius had only given Harry one word; Don't. Then he stood up and left, James and the rest of the marauders following him. Harry should have followed as well, but he couldn't. He wasn't good at this, didn't know how to deal with this. So he decided to ditch the first class much to Hermione’s horror and went flying. This was, beside Defense against the dark arts, what he was good at.

A small figure neared the pitch and for a moment Harry thought it was Sirius and smiled down at him giving him a wave, only to see that this boy had a green tie, was dressed neatly, and didn't wear a smile, the hair was shorter and the grey eyes didn't scream mischief.

“Regulus” Harry greeted when the boy met him in the air.

“It’s Black to you, Granger. I never said you get to call me by my first name” Regulus scowled

“Right” Harry rolled his eyes and Regulus scowled even more. “Up for a quick game?”

“With you?” Regulus raised his eyebrows

“No with a dementor”

“I didn't came here for a game” Regulus replied sharply and Harry had to fight off the urge to laugh at Regulus obvious dislike for sarcasm.

“Well, too bad, because I did” Harry shrugged, he pulled out his fathers snitch out of his pocket robe and let it fly in the air. With a quick glance at Regulus who still looked as if he had bitten in a sour lemon, he went to catch the snitch.

“Do you always play alone?” Regulus asked Harry after he had caught the snitch for the fifth time.

“I didn't have any friends growing up, so guess I am used to playing with myself”

“So Gryffindor of you to tell me everything about you” Regulus sneered

“What do you want Reg, just spit it out” Harry rolled his eyes, his hands fidgeting around the snitch longing to let it escape again.

“Did I not tell you to call me by my surname?”

“I’m a Gryffindor I don't do what I’m told” Harry chuckled.

“How is Sirius?” Regulus asked.

“For a Slytherin you aren't really subtle, are you?”

“Just tell me Granger”

“Harry”

“What?”

“Call me by my name, Harry”

“Fine, Harry” Regulus mumbled and looked ready to push Harry off of his broom.

“There you go, Reg” Harry laughed.

“How is my brother, Harry?”

“Why don't you ask him yourself?”

“None of your business” Harry shrugged and released the snitch, diving after him only to be stopped by regulus, who flew next to him diving down to the snitch as well. Harry smirked and pushed himself down, regulus following his lead and stretched out his hand. Harry watched as Regulus’ hand curled around the snitch and Regulus face lighten up in a victorious smile, which he quickly schooled back into his mask when he saw Harry looking at him.

“You can have your snitch back if you tell me how my brother is”

“He was fine before the letter” Harry scowled and opened his hand for the snitch.

“Did you cheat on him”

“None of your business” Harry said waving his hand a little that still waited for the snitch.

“He is my brother, of course it's my business” Regulus sneered and landed on the ground, waiting for Harry to land as well.

“That's not what Snape said” Harry muttered, for a second pain flashed in those eyes in front of him. Regulus threw the snitch back in the air and stomped away. “I didn't” Harry yelled after him. Regulus stopped and gave him a nod without turning around and Harry watched the boy vanish into the castle, before he mounted his broom one more time to search for the snitch.

He met Sirius again at lunch, after he got a lecture from both his mother and Hermione for ditching his classes. “Sorry I left you” Sirius whispered into his ears, watching the Ravenclaw table.

“Sorry I didn't follow?” Harry asked and Sirius shook his head.

“It was better you didn't follow, I’m not used to being with someone, sometimes I need a breather especially after dealing with my family” Sirius mumbled against his spoon of soup, his eyes still not leaving the Ravenclaw table and Harry felt the fire in him begin to rise.

“Hmm” Harry made a non committing noise and turned to his sandwiches which for some reason tasted bitter.

Sirius looked at him for a split second before turning back to the Ravenclaw table.

“You could –“ Harry words were swallowed at Sirius chuckle and a scream from the Ravenclaw table. The trio had their wands out in a millisecond ready to face danger only to see that the danger was a bald Mark.

“And here I thought the potion wasn't working” Sirius chuckled to James who bit his lips from laughing out loud. Harry for some reason felt relieved that the reason for Sirius staring had been for a prank.

“You did that?” Sirius nodded proudly “why?”

“Because it's my birthday” Sirius said as if it was obvious.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“The birthday boy gets to pick out one person, and that person will be pranked by the marauders all day” Peter explained Harry. “Harry have you tried these brownies yet?” Harry shook his head “they are really good, want one?”

“No thanks” Harry said, better safe than sorry, with the marauders you never knew and he didn't fancy his hair turning green or turning into a frog.

Peter looked disappointed before popping one into his mouth, moaning as he began to chew. Harry looked uncomfortable to Sirius who regarded Peter with distaste. “Why Mark? I would have thought you would prank Snape”

“Mark did something that I can't forgive”

“What's that?”

“He kissed you, no one gets to kiss you but me, those lips are mine” he said stroking over Harry's lips gently. Harry wanted to point out that they hadn't been together then, wanted to say that he had kissed Peter as well, but he didn't want give Sirius another reason to hate the chubby boy.”that reminds me, I need your help with something later please?” Sirius gave him puppy eyes and Harry asked with what only making the puppy eyes turn bigger and Harry sighed and agreed to whatever Sirius had planned.

“You know I think you shouldn't prank Mark”

“Do tell why I shouldn't” Sirius said raising his eyebrow glaring daggers at the now bald mark.

“Because, it's not nice?” Sirius snorted.

“I never said I was nice Love” Sirius smirked and gave Harry a kiss, he only stopped when James hit his head. “Come on Harry” Sirius grabbed Harry and pulled him away.

“I haven’t really eaten”

“You get to eat me” Harry laughed and followed Sirius eagerly, no matter how many times Sirius kissed him, he always got a bubbling feeling in his belly feeling as though he would explode any moment, his mind went blank and his heart would beat so fast only Sirius touches could soothe it.

Sirius pulled both of them onto his bed and closed his curtains, and Harry instantly threw himself on him, Sirius chuckled against his lips before pulling back. He pulled out a polaroid camera and Harry gave him a confused look.

“Lay down” Sirius whispered his voice raspy and Harry obeyed him quickly, a small smile played on Sirius lips and Sirius went down to Harry to kiss him while unbuttoning his shirt. Sirius abandoned the lips in favor to kiss Harry's chest up and down. Harry escaped a moan as Sirius kisses got lower and lower and he felt his hands moving to Sirius head pushing him down gently. He blushed as Sirius looked at him but Sirius followed the unsaid request and kissed Harry's waist before he placed a kiss on Harry's erection through his black pants. Harry groaned and Sirius looked satisfied at Harry’s lust flushed face.

Harry whimpered as Sirius abandoned him in order to get the camera. “Who do you want to give those pictures?” Harry asked worriedly.

“Just two person who don't want to see us together” Harry frowned

“Please tell me you aren't sending this to your parents?” Sirius chuckled darkly in reply, he position the camera with a quick spell on the ceiling of the bed. Harry watched hungrily as Sirius got out of his own shirt and for the first time Harry remembered the scars he had on his body, only because he saw scar marks on Sirius back. “What happened?” Harry asked.

“My parents didn't like that I was placed into Gryffindor, they didn't like I befriended two halfbloods and a blood traitor, didn't like that I was gay” Sirius shrugged and went back on top of Harry and kissed that shocked mouth close.

Harry moaned at the skin contact he was getting and he placed his hands on Sirius waist pulling the boy closer.

It was weird how nervous and worried he was with Cho, how uncomfortable it felt to touch and kiss Ginny, and with Sirius it felt as if they had been doing it for years. He didn't feel uneasy, didn't worry he might be doing something wrong or say something wrong. He felt right at home.

Sirius rubbed his erections against Harry's and the smaller boy wanted to scream his pleasure if it wasn't for Sirius lips on his swallowing every noise he made eagerly. He saw out of the corner of his eyes that Sirius waved his wand and he heard a small clicking sound, so he moved his hands away from Sirius waist and flipped the camera off. Sirius chuckled as he saw it and kissed him harder until Harry had to let his hands fall because who cared about Sirius parents? Harry didn't care for anything. All that mattered was how Sirius made him feel.

“They don't understand that love” Sirius chuckled “but then again that might piss them off even more, ‘how dare that muggle boy do something that we don't understand’” Sirius imitated his mother and Harry laughed while his hands tried to pull Sirius head down again to capture those lips once again. “I created a monster” Sirius smirked.

Harry licked Sirius lips gently, who groaned in agreement, and bit down softly on Sirius lips, he saw Sirius waving his wand for another time followed by a clicking sound and he felt Sirius rubbing their erections together again, while Sirius kissed his throat, Harry arched his back.

“Sirius wait” Harry said suddenly “can we take it slower?”

“Of course” Sirius said, he kissed Harry one more one before he got off of Harry.

“I’m sorry” Harry said looking ashamed

“You have nothing to apologize for, I want you to tell me if things go to fast or you don't like something”

“Well I liked it very much” Harry confessed with an embarrassed face, “but I’ve never done anything like that, and it did feel a bit fast” Harry avoided Sirius eyes.

“Here these are for us” Sirius smiled as he duplicated the pictures 2 times.

Harry took the pictures and got even redder, he hoped Sirius wouldn't notice it, in one picture Harry was being kissed and he lifted his arm to give the camera the middle finger and after a while he returned the hand back to Sirius waist. The other picture showed Harry and Sirius heavily kissing and rubbing their bodies together, Harry hadn't even noticed that he too was lifting his hips to meet Sirius.

“Sirius, do you really want to send this to your mom? She would get a heart attack” Harry murmured. Sirius didn't answer, “Sirius?” Harry looked around to see Sirius under his covers, looking at one of the pictures. Harry understood too late what he was doing and only saw Sirius closing his eyes, moaning words he couldn't make out and arching his back. As Sirius threw his head back into his pillow, Harry could swear he had never seen him looking more beautiful. Harry felt his erection twitch as he heard his name leave Sirius lips.

Harry hurried to his own bed closed his curtains and with a few strokes he came, Sirius name on his lips, Sirius flushed face before his eyes.

Harry groaned as he threw himself back into his pillows, before his curtains moved open, Harry quickly covered himself and heard Sirius chuckle. “Want to cuddle?” Harry shook his head and pushed Sirius away, “come on Love, no need to be so shy”

“Shove off” Sirius laughed, and Harry heard him searching for something in his trunk, curiosity got the better of him and Harry moved his curtain aside to look at what Sirius was doing.  
Harry saw Sirius putting his pictures into the book Remus had given him and smiled, the other two pictures he put into an red envelope.

“You wrote them a howler?”

“Well my parents always wanted me to follow their example” Sirius laughed.

“Harry, I need your help writing Lucius” Ron yelled and blushed as he saw Harry and Sirius without their shirts.

“Coming” Harry said, he went to Sirius trunk and fished another t-shirt out, this one had holes in it and it only said Anarchy.

“Just take whatever you want, Bubblebutt” Sirius laughed and gave Harry a slap on his ass.

Harry followed Ron out in to the corner where Hermione was already waiting, “Sirius’?” She asked waving her hand at his shirt and Harry blushed.

“They were ‘doing it’” Ron whispered to Hermione who gasped.

“Isn't that a bit fast Harry?”

“We didn't do anything”

“Sure mate, and Malfoy is a really nice bloke”

“We only kissed” Harry rolled his eyes, Ron waggled his eyebrows at him. “Let's just compose the letter to your new love interest”

“Okay how do we start?” Ron asked as he dunked his quill into the ink bottle.

“Hello” Harry suggested

“Greetings Mr Lucius” Hermione offered and both boys gave her questioning looks, “what?” She asked crossing her arms.

“Well, he wants to flirt with Lucius not interview for a position to be his whore” Harry said and Ron waved his quill to Harry in accusation making ink drops fly into his face. Harry laughed and tried to wipe the ink away. “Fine how about, Hello Lucius Malfoy?”

Ron quickly dribbled it down on the parchment.

“You could at least try to write better.”

“What's wrong with my writing?” Ron asked looking at the few words he had written.

“Introduce yourself” Hermione “as Ronil Weasley”

“Are you sure?” Harry asked

“Wazlib is a made up name, and he would think Ron is a muggleborn and just downright ignore him.”

“Yes and with Weasley he could easily find out that there is no ronil” Harry countered

“The Weasley family is big and I doubt Lucius would search through all their history just to find his name” Ron in the meantime, as they had been arguing, had already introduced himself to Lucius in the letter, stating his full name, Ronald Weasley. He told Lucius that he was currently in his seventh year of Hogwarts and had heard a lot of Lucius and hoped that they could get to know each other. He finished the letter with a sincerely yours, Ronald Weasley. P.S. I enclosed a picture of me in this letter.

He fold the letter neatly and dropped it in the envelope that already had his picture inside, the picture had been taken by Lily and he was just sitting at the sofa and waving at the camera. To be frankly he felt like an idiot, but he thought if he could pull it off and Lucius would like him, Draco Malfoy would never say anything against his family again. Beside it was good revenge to snog the father of their school enemy. Not that he wanted to snog the current Malfoy heir.

“Wait you already finished writing? That's not a letter that is a small note” Ron shrugged and Hermione waved her hands in frustration.

“Blokes don't like to read 5 pages long letters, Hermione” Ron sighed “I told him what I needed to tell him”

“Come on” Harry said “lets send it to the love of your life” Harry accompanied Ron to the owlery to deliver the letter he had written for Lucius, they picked a owl and send it away.

“What if he wants to kiss me?” Ron asked horrified.

“Close your eyes?” Harry suggested

“I don't fancy boys, Harry”

“Imagine Hermione?”

“You are no help” the other boy huffed. Harry chuckled, and clapped the other boy on his back, making soft cooing noises at the other boys pout.

“Send it already?” A voice behind them asked and Harry jumped in the air.

“Sirius!” Harry gasped “what are you doing here?”

“Usually when someone comes up here they want to borrow the school owl” Sirius replied chuckling, he picked a black owl and gave a red letter addressed to his mother to the owl, watching with a devilish smile as the owl flew off.

“You send your mother a howler?” Ron asked incredulously 

“You think she is the only one who can send it? I sent that Bitch right one back, I made her a poem want to hear it?”

“No” Ron sighed

“If you insist” Sirius laughed and cleared his throat

“Dear Mother and Father,  
Thank your for the Birthday Letter,  
You always said I was a mistake  
Giving you nothing but a headache  
I only have a single wish  
To hope it will come true is foolish  
I wish for you to die  
Go look into a basilisk eye”

Ron clapped slowly “that was horrible”

“Well yeah I am a prankster not a poet” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“I liked it” Harry smiled “I bet you are disappointed we killed the basilisk now”

Sirius sighed sadly, “I am” he agreed pulling Harry with him back to the common room, leaving Ron to walk behind them, Harry shook his head and grabbed Ron to walk next to him. Smiling at them both, he was never happier, he finally felt at home at peace, even with the letter to Lucius, he felt happy here. In Sirius arms, in his parents presence, his friends were happy here, it's been long since he had seen them laughing since the war, now although they were always together and sometimes forget him they were happy.

In the common room the marauders were siting on their usual places with Hermione and Lily, “Harry liked it” he proclaimed proudly.

“I helped compose it” Peter smiled.

“You said father rhymes with letter, which I am still not convinced off” Sirius complained. Peter pouted and shrugged saying that Harry liked it.

It took another week for Lucius to finally respond, “what did he say?” Harry tried to get the letter in his fingers but Ron pulled it out of reach.

“He said, he was happy to have received a letter from me” Ron blushed, “he would like to get to know me better before we meet”

“Reply” Hermione said excitedly, and Ron went away with the letter to reply, “why is he being so secretive about this?” Hermione sighed.

“Well, he probably feels weird that his girlfriend is helping him cheat” Harry laughed.

“Harry” his father came over to his bed, “you will come home with us next month right?”

“Yeah”

“Good, because your grandparents can't wait to meet you, Hermione there will be a room for you” he looked at Harry “I assume Ron is staying as well?”

“Wait staying?”

“Of course” James looked perplexed “where else would you live? Oh, I mean if you rather stay at Lily's that's fine?”

“No we won't be staying at anyone's, if you just give us a tent? That would be great”

“No, out of question”

“Dad, we have to find Horcruxes”

“You can do so, and live at home.” His mother said as she entered the boys room. “You promised to ensure us that you are alright, if you live in a tent we wouldn't know that”

“Yeah but mom, we would have to leave constantly”

“That's fine” she said but she didn't look fine at all, Harry thought.

“Well it's certainly better than living in a tent having to endure Hermione’s cooking” Harry laughed as Hermione hit his head.

“Are you still complaining about that? I didn't see you cook any better Potter”

“I let you know that I am a fantastic cook, I used to cook for the dursleys all the time”

“Well, I let you know that I am a fantastic cook as well” hermione countered crossing her arms “we only lacked on ingredients and hmm I don't know spices? We were living on the run after all, I am sorry I didn't go to the supermarket and bought some salt and seasoning”

“Even with” Harry said “it would taste badly, the mushrooms were burned, not even rats wanted to touch it”

“Fine, I can't cook” Hermione shrugged “I am still better at chess than you”

“Everyone is better at chess than me” Harry sighed “I blame you for that” he said looking at his mother who gave him a smile and a playful swat to his head.

“Anyway, you will come home with me, it's all fixed, and I don't want to hear another word on it, your mother will join us, for most part and we will have Christmas morning at ours and then go to Lily's.” Lily smiled and nodded in agreement.

“You really like to have the last word , don't you? Harry asked his father who raised his eyebrows before nodding.

“I do” he said and left the room before Harry could reply.

“Is aunt Petunia going to be there?” Harry asked nervously and Lily nodded.

“So will her boyfriend” she sighed, “mother just told me about it, it seemed that when Petunia found out I will bring you she immediately invited Vernon,” Lily saw the horror on Harry's face and added softly “ it will be fine Harry, I won't let anyone hurt you” she smiled and her smile held nothing but love and promises, looking at her smile was a little heaven for Harry and he found himself nod and returning her smile. “Good, for your present, I mean is there anything you particularly wanted?”

“I don't want anything mum” Harry blushed and looked away, “I already got everything I wanted, I got to get to know you” Lily hugged him and dropped a kiss on his head.

“You really are your fathers son, always so charming” she chuckled.

“I don't have anything to give to you, so it's only fair if you don't get me anything” Harry said and his mother hit her palm to her forehead.

“We are terrible parents” she whispered “of course you don't have any money”

“Well I do. In my time, but I didn't bring any”

“Potter!” His mother yelled as she ran down the common room.

“That's not what I meant” Harry sighed and pulled on his hair, “I don't want your money” he tried to yell again but he was sure his mother didn't hear him anymore. Hermione shrugged as he looked to her giving her pleading eyes.

“Do you think, Ron could fall in love with Lucius?”

“No, of course not. Ron loves you” Harry assured his best friend “besides Ron is straight”

“You were dating girls before you went to Sirius”

“Yes, but that was different, I was never truly happy with them, never truly comfortable. With Sirius it's so easy, I don't feel weird when I am with him, I feel as though I’ve known him for years, which I kinda have” he chuckled “but I am not afraid of what Sirius might think of me, I am not afraid to kiss Sirius” he blushed. “You know”

“Yeah” Hermione smiled. “So are you gay or bisexual?”

“I have no idea?” Harry confessed “I never felt confident with them, does that make sense? I did find them attractive, but once I was alone with them I had no idea what to do, or how to act. When I kissed them I never had those butterflies everyone always talks about, with Sirius it's different, I can clearly feel a reaction when we … when we kiss” Harry blushed, Hermione squeaked happily and quickly stopped when Harry glared at her.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“We saw each other naked, I ate your cooking. How much more personal can we get?” He asked chuckling.

“Who tops?” Hermione asked ignoring his comment about her cooking skills.

“What?” Harry gave her confused eyes.

“If you had sex” Hermione explained “who would be the one to give and who would be the one to take?”

“Give and take what?” Harry asked horrified.

Hermione rolled her eyes, as she opened her mouth Ron came back. “Let me read” she said excitedly.

“I already send it” he admitted “I only said that I was happy to receive his letter, told him a little bit about myself and now we wait for his reply” Ron shrugged.

“Hmm” Hermione made a noncommittal noise “we will stay at Harry's father’s house for the winter holiday” Ron nodded

“Sounds good” he smiled.

Ron kept on writing with Lucius but refusing to share what they wrote about saying it was personal, which kinda made Hermione nervous and afraid of losing her boyfriend to a death eater, no matter what Harry said Hermione didn't believe him when he said that Ron would never love Lucius, it was just part of the act.

“Nervous?” Sirius asked him as he stepped into the train, he had never left Hogwarts for Christmas.

“My Christmas experiences outside Hogwarts was never much fun” Harry confessed and dark looks flashed on his parents and Sirius and Remus faces.

They entered an empty cabin and Sirius pulled Harry next to him, Hermione and Ron sat next to him and his parents sat on the opposite of him, Remus and Peter next to them. Remus fished out a sandwich from his bag and gave everyone one. Peter pulled out some chocolate bars, handing Harry two and the rest one.

His father and Sirius pulled out some drinks, butter beer and firewhiskey.

“You will love it at the Potters” Peter said excitedly.

“I thought you weren't coming?” Sirius growled and Harry hit his elbow in Sirius side.

“I wouldn't miss the first Christmas with Harry for anything” Peter winked at Harry.

“Well it would be my second Christmas with you” Harry smiled at his parents, his mother smiled sadly

“It should have been your 17th Christmas’ with someone who loved you” Harry looked to his friends and started to feel really awkward.

“Lily” Sirius began “I want your permission to hex Fenun”

“It's Vernon” she said “I would be highly disappointed if you didn't hex him” she said looking between Sirius, Remus and James. “But not my sister, I will deal with her and please without my parents knowing”

“Guys, you know they haven't done it yet right?” Harry gulped.

“I am getting real tired of that excuse” Sirius shrugged “just because they haven't done it yet doesn't mean you didn't experience it yet. It happened to you. They hurt you”

“Yeah they from the future not they from this Time”

“But they will” Lilyy sighed and deemed the conversion closed.

“Aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon are still family” Harry tried one more time.

“They are not your family!” James raised his voice. “Sorry” he said as he saw Harry's wide eyes. “Harry, those people aren't your family, your family is right here” he waved his hand at himself and at Lily, at Sirius who looked as uncomfortable at the reminder as Harry felt and at Remus and Peter who grinned at Harry. “These are your stupid uncles who will teach you stupid stuff” James continued “you will meet your grandparents soon, from both sides, but that magic hating muggle, that's not your family”

“She is mums sister” Harry argued but still smiling at Remus who shook amused his head

“If they were magical your mother would have disowned her ass already” Harry laughed.

“No she wouldn't” he said, “besides sisters can't disown their sisters, parents can disown their children”

“Smartass, just like his mother” James shook his head but Harry saw him smile. “Oh and Dork? Don't call them uncle or aunt again”

“Got it Rudolph”

“Who is Rudolph?” James asked.

“You” Harry said as he pulled out his wand and hexed James’ nose red. Hermione laughed so hard she fell from her chair.

Lily was singing the song happily while James laughed and looked proudly at his heir. “Finally” he said as he pulled out his wand and hexed Harry's nose hair green.

When they finally arrived everyone spotted a new hair style, hair color, had colored teeth or bigger ones, Remus sported larger ears, Peter a tail out of worms, Lily's red hair was hexed into a Potter hair, Sirius teeth were rotten black which reminded Harry of Azkaban. Ron and Hermione both had bigger teeth and yellow lips, while James had a red nose and red hair, Harry who also had red hair had green nose hair which his father hexed longer for everyone to see.

“Oh Merlin” a voice to their right said as they stepped out, “James what did we tell you about starting a fight?”

“Wasn't me mom” James smiled “was Harry” Harry looked with big eyes at his grandmother. She reminded him of mrs. Weasley. Only with brown hair, friendly brown eyes and a smile that promised nothing but kindness. She wore a bright yellow robe, which at first seemed extreme until Harry looked around and saw everyone in bright color robes or in weird pattern robes.

“I’m sorry mrs. Potter” Harry said shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“Plick plack” she said and waved his worries away. “James has told us so much about you, some of it downright impossible” she said as she came forward and gave him a big hug that rivaled Mrs. Weasley’s hug. “And you must be Lily” with that Lily also found herself in a hug. “Now about you James doesn't stop talking at all.”

“Hear hear” Sirius chuckled, instead of a hug he was swatted over his head.

“We missed you last summer” she said and Sirius looked ashamed “will you join us ?” Sirius nodded and with that he was hugged.

“Come now that's enough” a male voice said chuckling. “Let's get them home and maybe they should clean up?” He suggested seeing Sirius rotten teeth and Harry's green nose hair.

“Don't you want to meet him first?” His grandmother said to him and Harry had no doubt they were talking about him.

“Hello Harry” his grandfather smiled down on him, his hair surprisingly straight and blonde. He wore black robes that made his black teddy eyes shine out more, on a closer look Harry could see small patterns on his grandfathers robes that looked like two wizards fighting. He came forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Ready to go home” Harry looked at his parents for the answer.

“Oh wait,” his mother said “I see my parents” she smiled shyly and turned to her future father in law, “if I could borrow Harry for a moment” mr. Potter smiled and let go of Harry's shoulder he tapped his wand in front of their faces and the three looked normal again.

“Best not give the muggles a heart attack” he chuckled and Harry grinned at him, Lily thanked him and instantly pulled Harry and James to her parents.

“Mom dad this is James Potter, my boyfriend. This is Harry Potter my future son” Harry blushed and looked at his grandparents.

His Grandmother looked like the woman he saw in a movie once, her dark red hair was put neatly in a bun and she wore a polkadot dress with a bright red belt around her waist. She had painted her lips bright red and her eyes in a soft blue that brought her green blue eyes out.

His grandfather wore a black suit with a hat, covering his strawberry blonde hair. His eyes were a soft green, he looked exactly like a man Vernon always tried to impress.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Evans, it's an honor to meet you” James said giving her father a firm shake and her mother a kiss on the back of her hand.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, James” Mrs Evans replied, before she looked at Harry. “He does have your eyes, my dear”

“Hello Mrs. and Mr. Evans” Harry smiled shyly

“Lily tried to tell us how it happened but you must forgive us, our understanding towards magic isn't much” Harry smiled and shook his head.

“It's quiet unusual for the wizarding world as well”

“You will come visit us soon?” She asked and Harry nodded eagerly. She gave him a hug. “When I thought about meeting my grandson for the first time I always thought about meeting a small baby not a full grown handsome young man” Harry blushed and his grandfather chuckled.

“Just like Lily” he said to his wife who nodded in agreement. “Come here and give your grandfather a hug, son” he said and Harry stepped forward a bit, and two strong arms surrounded his body. For a thin build man his grandfather was surprisingly strong.

James and Harry bid goodbye to Lily and her parents with a promise to visit soon. Lily gave him a big hug as if she was afraid of not seeing him again. “Promise you write me” she whispered and Harry nodded “be good, and don't trouble your grandparents, it's okay if you trouble your father” she chuckled before kissing his cheek and sending him away.

His grandmother was in a conversation with the marauders while Ron and Hermione talked to his grandfather. Harry smiled as he saw everyone looked normal again. “Ready?” His grandfather asked and Harry nodded. He motioned Harry forward and placed his hand back on his shoulder doing the same to Ron, Mrs. Potter took Hermione’s arm and before the trio could ask why, Harry felt his belly being pulled away from his body.

“Uuugh” Harry felt strong arms holding him up and he looked into his fathers worried eyes. “Sorry I am not good at apparating, or flooing” his father chuckled and his grandmother gave him a glass of water.

Harry looked around the house, it was cozy. He already felt much at home, it wasn't too crowded or too colorful, everything fit in neatly, and the white walls were decorated with lots of family pictures that not only held James but also Sirius. No one said a word as Harry explored the house. In every corner seemed to be something personal. There were four stones in a corner that were labeled Sirius, James, Remus and Peter. Harry smiled and turned to look at his friends who were looking around themselves.

“Harry” his grandmother called

“Yes Mrs. Potter”

“Honey, no need to call me that” she chastised “call me grandma” she chuckled.

“Okay grandma” he blushed and oh why couldn’t his face stop giving him away.

“Dinner is ready” Harry nodded and excused himself before he stormed off to the bathroom, only problem the house was bigger than he had thought and there were many doors. Sirius who had followed Harry smirked as he noticed Harry's problem.

“Just tell me” Harry said and Sirius shook his head. “Please” Sirius tipped his finger on his lips, Harry rolled his eyes and pressed a soft kiss on Sirius lips.

Sirius pulled Harry closer before pushing him down the hall, never leaving his lips, he opened the door with one hand and gently pushed both of them inside before closing the door.

“Yeah you can leave now” Harry chuckled as he opened the door again for Sirius to leave.

“Where is the fun in that?” Sirius laughed and captured Harry's lips again.

“Sirius I need to “ he waved his hand in front of the toilet.

“Need help?” Sirius chuckled and Harry pushed the boy out of the bathroom.

As both of them returned his father gave Sirius warning eyes who shrank a little under James’ glare. Mrs. Potter, Hermione and Remus came out carrying chicken, mashed potatoes and all in all it looked like a smaller version of the Hogwarts food. Harry felt his mouth watering and couldn't wait to eat.

“This is the best food I ever had” Harry said as he took another bite.

“Thank you, Harry” Mrs. Potter smiled. “But I can't take all credit, our house elf Keki, did most of the work”

“Can I meet her?” Harry said excitedly while Hermione scowled at finding out it was cooked by a house elf.

“Keki” his father called and a small house elf came forward. She wore a uniform with name Keki and two Potts on it.

“Young Master called Keki sir, what can Keki does for young Master?”

“Hello Keki” Harry smiled and Keki turned to him her eyes wide before she bowed down to him, Harry bowing his head in return. “It's nice to meet you”

“The young boy has young masters blood in him” Keki said before she smiled “young young master” she screamed and James laughed. “Young young master said it's nice meeting Keki”

“I think she loves you” Sirius whispered.

“Mrs. Potter has told me you helped her cooking, I wanted to thank you, it is really delicious”

Keki turned to her masters who looked at Harry with a small smile. Keki Apparated into Harry's arm, hugging him. “Thank you, young young master, Keki doesn't deserve such kind words, Keki only washed and peeled potato, Keki does sir”

“You don't need to call me that, call me Harry” Harry smiled “Even that is important, without that we would have had dirty potatoes” Keki looked at Harry with awe and worry.

“Keki mustn't call young young master by name, no Keki shouldn't” Harry sighed and looked at his father pleadingly.

“What?” James asked.

“Well tell her to call me Harry”

“Tell her yourself” he laughed as he took another bite of his chicken.

“Please call me Harry” he tried again.

Keki looked worriedly at her masters, “if that is Harry's wish” his grandfather said smiling, “Keki, Harry is my grandson, if it isn't too much trouble please do what you can to help him”

“Of course master, Keki is very happy, very happy indeed to serve the house of Potter and Keki will happy serve young young master Harry.”

“Thanks Keki” Harry sighed. With another bow Keki apparated away.

“She used to call me, young masters friend one” Sirius chuckled “Remus was young masters friend dog” Harry waited for what she called Peter but Sirius still wasn't talking to or about him.

“Harry, that was very nice of you” Harry blushed at his grandmothers words.

“I had a friend once who was a house elf, his name was dobby” Harry said. “I guess I just have a thing for house elves.”

“Mrs. Potter, wouldn't you agree that house elves would be happier if they were freed?”

“Oh dear no” his grandmother said, “they wouldn't like that at all, please don't say such things to Keki, she is very sensitive, cries easily”

“Punishes herself”

“Merlin no” his grandfather said horrified “we don't accept punishments in this house.”

Harry and Ron gave Hermione a warning look and she dropped it.

After dinner the marauders gave Harry the grand tour, the house was so big, Harry feared he would get lost. They showed him the Quidditch field outside and the kitchen, they went to see the Marauders secret places and James showed them his room proudly, which looked like the smaller version of their room in Hogwarts. There were a lot of Quidditch posters and his wall had a Lily flower painted on it.

Ron and Hermione retreated to the sofa as they talked in whispers about Lucius newest letter, Ron refused to share. His father, Remus and Peter were playing a game and his grandparents talked about the newest news in the wizarding world, Voldemort attacking yet another orphan house.

Sirius pulled Harry in the corner, “missed you” he smiled as he kissed Harry's neck softly.

“Sirius, not here” Harry said afraid someone will walk around the corner and see them. Sirius pouted and Harry laughed kissing the pout away. “What's up with the stones?”

“It was a challenge” Sirius chuckled “who could bring the biggest stone to the house the fastest”

“So Remus won”

“Yeah, he never let us forget it, there is a reason why we don't wrestle with Moony” he chuckled.

“Who was second?” Harry asked, both Sirius and James stone looked about the same size while Remus’ was almost the double size.

“We are still debating, between you and me, I was clearly second” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Of course you were” he said sarcastically

“Oh you little bugger” Sirius hit his upper arm playfully “sounding just like your father” he shook his head. “I really should punish your mouth for saying such stuff about your awesome boyfriend”

“How would you punish it?” Harry smirked, Harry hadn't even finished his sentence and Sirius was already biting his lips.

“Harry! Sirius!” his grandmother started and looked between him and Sirius. “Could I have a talk with the two of you?” Harry gulped and nodded warily.

His grandparents guided them outside calling James to join them in the process. James sighed as they stood outside, his grandfather told Harry to sit down on the colorful pillows and warily he and Sirius did, his grandfather took one of the seat pillows in neon green and sat down in front of them, James and his grandmother following him.

“How long have you seen each other?” His grandpa asked.

“Officially for a month now” Sirius answered. Harry looked nervously between his father and grandparents, trying to find out if he had angered them already, his mother wouldn't be happy about that.

“Why?”

“Because I love him” Sirius replied shortly looking down on the ground, Harry wondered if James had to go through the same thing at Lily's house later.

“Do you love him, Harry” Harry nodded.

“I do” he said and he could feel his face heating up again, but he forgot about it as he saw Sirius foolish grin at those words.

“You know this can't last, Harry will return to his time”

“Mapo, papo, James” Sirius said and Harry looked at James who looked at Sirius with anticipation “if Harry is willing to be with me when he returns to his time, I would wait” he said and looked at Harry, they had never talked about what would happen, “and if he doesn't want to, it would be okay, I can't change how I feel, all I know is that I want to make the most of the time that we do have” his grandparents nodded and James sighed.

“I already gave you my blessing and you gave me your promise” Sirius nodded at James saying he hadn't and neither will he break it. “You know I doubt Harry still want you in his time, you would be an old tosser then.” Sirius yelled his complain and both Sirius and James were soon wrestling on the ground. Harry looked awkwardly to his grandparents.

“Are you happy with him”

“I am grandma”

“Then that's all that matters, he is a good kid. But if he does anything you don't want to, you just let me know” Harry laughed and gave his grandmother a nod. “Sirius!” She yelled and both boys stopped and looked up. “No Harry's allowed alone in your room” she said and Sirius pouted which earned him a punch in the guts from a laughing James.

“Ma,” Sirius screamed “are there any Lily’s allowed in James’ room?” His grandma shook her head, Harry saw the small smile tug on her upper lip.

“Sirius! That's my mom and dad you are talking about” Harry groaned as Sirius sung a song about Lily and James getting it on.

“Harry, how do you think you were made?” Sirius asked, and continued to yell into James ear about James touching Lily's body.

“Can we go inside?” Harry asked while holding his ears. His grandparents nodded and guided Harry back inside. “What's a mapo and papo?” Harry asked as they entered the house.

“That's what Sirius started to call us in third year” his grandfather chuckled “its shortened for mama-potter and papa-potter.” Harry smiled at him nodding his thanks.

“Grandpa, could I borrow your owl? I promised mum I would write her” his grandpa nodded and went to get the owl as Harry fished some parchment out of his bag along with a quill and his ink bottle.

‘Dear Mom,  
We landed safely at James’ home.  
Did you know dad has his own Quidditch field?  
Grandma and grandpa are really nice and the food was delicious. I made a new friend already, her name is Keki and she is the house elf. I have to go, Hermione and Ron are calling me.

Love, Harry’

“Writing a love letter” Ron smirked

“Yeah to your mum” Harry replied chuckling as he scribbled down his mother's name on the envelope. His grandpa came back with a brown owl who chirped happily. Harry fastened his letter on her leg telling her to give the letter to Lily Evans.

“Let me show you your room okay” his grandpa said as Remus and Peter went outside to join their friends.

“Harry's room is in the middle of Sirius and James, its Sirius old room I hope you don't mind? Sirius switched rooms after James kept going to his room talking about Lily” his grandma stated as she opened the door.

“Your room is connected to James, you share a bathroom, I am not able to get the posters off” she apologized and Harry stepped inside. It was a black room, on the wall in white paint were written words, a lot of pictures and also a lot of posters of almost naked men and of men in weird clothing, he recognized the name Queen on one and smiled, so these were the famous bands Sirius always talked about.

There was a huge bed with white sheets and black pillows, a large mirror and two white chairs. The only colorful thing were the poster and pictures and the Gryffindor banner and Quidditch uniform on one wall.

Harry put his bag down on the bed and went back to the others. Hermione was shown her room and ron was shown his. Both looked like his only in more colour and without the posters. Hermione’s was a soft pink with Crème bed sheets. While Ron's was a blue wall, dark blue chairs and bedsheets. “No opposite sex in closed rooms” his grandparents told them and Harry saw as Ron and Hermione both blushed . “Harry,no Sirius in closed doors” Harry followed their example and blushed a deep red before nodding.

The trio retreated to Harry's room, making sure the door was open as they whispered about their day. Hermione was now more determined than ever to get house elves rights, Ron finished his letter to Lucius and Harry looked the posters over.

Hermione suddenly jumped up. “Harry could I sleep in here? We could leave the door open”

“What's wrong with your room?”

“Nothing” Hermione blushed “Its just, we are gonna go Horcrux hunting, I don't sleep so well alone” Harry nodded in understanding. Bathroom is combined with James” he said “ you might want to still shower in your room” Hermione hugged him and went to get her stuff.

“I’m gonna stay here two then mate” Ron smiled “just like old times”

“Just like how you had imagined Horcrux hunting would be” Harry snorted “big bed and eatable food”

Ron laughed and nodded his agreement. He too stood up and went to gather his stuff.

The trio went down to see the marauders sitting in the corner next to their stones, laughing loudly. Harry smiled and the trio sat down on the large sofa, his grandma joined them giving them a big glass of hot chocolate with marshmallows on top. Harry gasped and couldn't help but grin as he saw it. “For us?” He asked out of breath.

“Of course honey” she smiled as her grandson eagerly drank his hot chocolate. “Would you like some cake? Or maybe some chocolate candy?”

“Really?” Harry asked with big eyes. He was never allowed to have any of that at home, no one ever offered him something.

“What are grandma’s for if not to spoil their grandson?” She stood up and came back with three plates of chocolate cake.

“Mate I love your grandma” Ron whispered in his ears and Harry grinned proudly.

“Want to hear embarrassing stories of your father?” She asked and Harry could have cried out of happiness, he watched as she Accio a big book and scooted closer to her along with Hermione and Ron. His grandma chuckled at them, she opened the book and Harry saw pictures of James as a little baby, James running around in his underwear as a five year old. James sleeping on the dinner table his body covered in chocolate. Keki running after James who was covered in a sheet. “He was pretending to be a ghost” his grandma explained.

“Mum” James whined as he came to see why they were laughing “I can't be the cool dad if you show those pictures”

“Oh wait I almost forgot this picture” she said as she hastily turned a few pages. James was around twelve his back faced the camera and he turned his head to look in the camera and stick out his tongue, the boy next to him also had his back faced to the camera, he was shivering and when he turned around Harry recognized him as Sirius. The only thing wrong with this picture was that both were naked showing off their bare butt. Harry laughed out loud.

“Why?” He asked through his laughter.

“James dared me” Sirius said behind him, “who could stay in the snow the longest, I only made it more interesting in saying we shouldn't be wearing any clothes” he shrugged

“Who won?” Remus groaned at Harry's question.

“I did”

“In your dreams Potter”

“I did win, right mum” James asked his mother who already showed the trio the next pictures.

As Ron and Harry lay in bed waiting for Hermione to join them after her shower Ron finally confessed to why he didn't share the letters.

“He is pretty straight forward” Ron sighs “he likes to say stuff like he can't wait to taste me and stuff” Ron shudders.

“Mate why didn't you say something sooner?”

“I was embarrassed, his first reply he talked about how good I looked, I was just waving into the camera, mate, no one has ever told me I looked great, no one has said my life is interesting, they would like to know more, no one has ever said they would like to do things to me”

“its alright, you won't have to do anything you don't want to, and we will always be close by” Harry promised “just try to distract him?”

“He wants to meet me soon, he keeps on saying how he can't wait to finally kiss those lips” Ron gave Harry pleading eyes “I don't want my first kiss to be with him, Harry, not with a death eater. Not with the man who owns the manor where Hermione was tortured”

Before Harry got the chance to reply the door opened and Hermione stepped in, her bushy hair pushed in a bun as she wore bunny pyjamas.

“Nice Pyjamas” Harry complimented.

“Your grandma gave it to me” Harry nodded and pulled the cover off of him and Ron showing off his horse Pyjamas and Ron's star pyjama.

“I figured” Harry smiled, Hermione suddenly yelled in excitement and she ran back to her room.

“Would you mind if erm you could be my first kiss?” Ron whispered and looked on the bedcover in shame.

“Let's talk about that tomorrow” Harry whispered back as he heard the footsteps of Hermione nearing.

“Your mother told me to take pictures of us” she shrugged, she placed the camera on the table next to the bed, clicked it on and the camera captured the moment forever as Hermione threw herself at her two best friends who both protested in pain as she elbowed one in the stomach and accidentally kicked the other in his private parts.

Harry rubbed his belly as Ron still groaned in pain and Hermione tried to apologize through laughter. Harry waved his wand to capture the moment he pulled his friends to his sides and giving both a kiss on their cheeks, one still laughing the other one still looking painfully near tears.

After they had settled down to bed, Harry in the middle Hermione to his right and Ron to his left, Ron whispered the news of his latest letter.

“He wants to meet me in two days” Ron whispered, “in a café near his home” Harry knew Ron meant more him with this news, it wasn't like Harry didn't wanted to help his friend, but he still remembered Sirius words, he didn't want Ron to be hexed only because he didn't wanted his first kiss with a man to be with the man of his enemy. A well known death eater and someone who hated his father because the man didn't reply his love.

“We won't have much time to search” Hermione whispered

“We’ll make it” Harry promised. “We always do.

 

 

 

 


	19. The hunting sort of begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am Happy to say, that this was beta'd by the amazing ImperialRedWolf, who did an outstanding job.

Ron woke up from another restless night. He both hated his dreams and longed for them. In his dreams everyone was happy, and everyone was alive. Fred was alive. He hated remembering life as it was before Voldemort decided to destroy it. He wanted to be back to the time where the only things he was worried about were grades and assignments. He wanted to talk bad about their potions professor instead of watching him die. Dreaming was easy; waking up and remembering everything was hard.  
  
Ron blinked his tears away as he remembered his brother’s mischievous smile that seemed identical to George’s. He only saw that smile, with the devilish glint in brown eyes, in his dreams. George hadn't talked, nor smiled much since his other half was taken from him. No one in his family had. War was always hard on both sides, the ones left behind suffered the most. He envied Fred sometimes who was away from pain, loss and guilt. He didn't know how much longer he could go on when his heart was aching and torn into small pieces; some pieces were missing and could never be replaced.  
  
A low, agonising moan from Harry brought him out of his daydreaming. Ron watched as Harry cried Sirius’ name; watched as he relived his worst moments in his dreams. He didn't know which was worse: reliving every good memory, only to wake up remembering it will never be like that again, or reliving the worst ones, hoping every time you could prevent it from happening. All Ron knew was that both caused only suffering and pain.  
  
Hermione stirred in her sleep, clutching the scar in her arm that would forever remind her of being tortured for how she was born. Even if Hermione was the brightest witch, many people would always think less of her because she was a muggle-born. Hate surged through Ron's body remembering it. He hated the war; all it ever did was cause pain. He wanted to cry at how unfair life was, but they did have the chance to fix it; to return life to how it had been, and maybe he would be able to see his brother again - not just in a dream.  
  
Ron shook Harry awake as he kept on pleading forgiveness. Harry quickly shot up, looking around, before his eyes met Ron. His eyes were slightly watery and Ron quickly looked away, pretending he hadn't just witnessed his friend having a nightmare, knowing how Harry hated talking about it. Ron kept quiet and played with the end of his sleeves. Harry asked in a sleepy voice for his glasses as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.  
  
“Want to go outside?” Harry asked quietly, and Ron nodded, before slowly creeping out of the room, trying his best not to wake up his girlfriend.  
  
Harry opened the door to the backyard and sat down on a red big pillow, his usual bright green eyes seeming dull and dark. Ron sat down opposite of his friend, keeping his gaze on the floor. Both boys enjoyed the silent and cold wind. This was something he loved about Harry; they didn't need a lot of words, both just enjoyed the company without having to find anything to say.  
“I keep on seeing everyone die.” Harry said, as the sun began to rise and the birds began to sing.  
  
“I see them happy and alive,” Ron sighed. Looking into his friend’s eyes he saw so many emotions: envy, hope, sadness. “Only to wake up and remember their death.” Ron choked, looking away.  
  
“We’ll save them.” Harry promised. Ron didn't know if Harry promised it to himself or to Ron. Ron simply nodded. “Wanna go for a run?” Harry suggested, already standing up and transforming to Bolt. Ron followed, grinning as he also transformed.  
  
Ruddy climbed onto Bolt’s back. Bolt turned to see him, and Ruddy waved his hands to the sky. Bolt ran a bit before he spread his wings and flew. Ron would never admit it, but he loved watching Harry fly. That was the only time he saw a glimpse of the eleven year old Harry, before he had encountered Voldemort for the second time in his life; his bright green eyes full of life and happiness. Ruddy had to claw onto Harry's neck to keep himself from falling off. Terrified, he transformed back. With one hand he held onto Bolt’s leathery skin, the other he held up high as he yelled his pain away and heard Bolt do the same as he flew straight towards the morning sun.  
  
Ron remembered the day they all flew on Thestrals to save Sirius; seeing Thestrals now only reminded him of the death of the innocents. He hated that he was able to see them, hated that Hermione and Harry could as well. He loathed that Harry had been able to see them ever since fifth year.  
  
Bolt flew sharp around a tree, waking up the few birds that were still sleeping. Ron watched with delight as they sung their complaints, flying around the tree as well.  
  
They only landed back once they saw light at the house. “Are you mad transforming back in the air?” Harry laughed, and Ron grinned back.  
  
“You are the best seeker I know, I am sure you would have caught me.”  
  
“Victor Krum is the best seeker, besides how would I have caught you with hooves?” Harry smiled, as Ron scowled at the name.  
  
Ron shrugged in reply. “Victor,” he said, through gritted teeth. “S’got nothing on you.” and Harry laughed quietly.  
  
Silently they tried to sneak back inside; Ron felt as if they were back in first year trying to sneak into the tower without Filch detecting them. But without the invisibility cloak it was an impossible task. “Couldn't sleep?” Harry's grandmother asked, and Ron nodded. “How about some honey milk?” She suggested, and again Ron found himself nodding dumbly.  
  
Harry and Ron both sat with Mrs. Potter at the dining table, drinking milk with honey, listening to her talking about James’ first pranks, his first school year and Sirius and James being inseparable. Harry listened intently, and Ron couldn't help but compare Sirius and James to Fred and George. He missed his family. He liked it here, and this was what Harry needed, to be with his family; still, he longed for his own. He couldn't wait to be back in their time so he could be together with them again.  
  
After a while the others joined them and they had a big breakfast; Ron hadn't even realised how hungry he was until he got a sniff of the sweet smell of bacon in the air.  
  
“How about going to the park?” Mr Potter asked. Ron saw Harry's eyes go wide and at the same time fear sparkled in them.  
  
“What do you say, Harry?” James asked his son, after swallowing a spoonful of red beans.  
  
“You want me to come with you?” Harry asked worriedly, and Ron saw everyone exchanging looks: James and Sirius looking angrily at their plates and his grandparents looking at each other with worried expressions.  
  
“Of course, Harry.” his grandma said softly  
  
“That would be great.” Harry smiled, oblivious to the looks on everyone's faces. Ron hated the Dursleys for what they had done to Harry. How they could neglect a small boy and despise him because of his magic was still a mystery to him. One look at Hermione showed him that she thought the same.  
  
“In the park is a small lake if you want to swim.” Mrs Potter told them. “Hermione, if you want to swim I have some new bathing suits, we can simply spell them smaller - boys I am sure you can lend Harry and Ron something?” at their yes, she smiled.  
  
The trio returned to Harry's room after breakfast; Ron overcoming a little bit of fear as he remembered he would meet Lucius tomorrow - he barely noticed Harry and Hermione talking excitedly next to him. Both seemed to be more than happy to go to the muggle world.  
  
“Ron.” Hermione shoved him a little and Ron peered at her. She looked at the door and Ron followed her eyes, to find the four marauders dressed in muggle clothing. Ron didn't understand why Harry was snickering on his left or why Hermione had wide eyes looking at them.  
  
James wore jeans that were wide at the end making his feet disappear and a blouse with flowers on it. Ron wouldn't be surprised if the flowers were lilies.  
  
Remus wore brown pants and a dark brown pullover that covered his neck; to finish his look he wore a vest with flowers on it.  
  
Peter had pants on that had flower patterns on it, along with a black shirt and a jeans jacket.  
  
Rounding up the group, Sirius was wearing tight jeans which were ripped in a few places - one being near his crotch. Ron stared at Sirius in horror who smirked knowingly. Sirius didn't wear a shirt, but he did have a small jeans flower vest that he left open, making his tattoos visible.  
  
“Why are you all wearing flowers?” Ron finally asked, and Harry snorted.  
  
“Get ready!” Peter jumped up and down, showing his teeth in a huge grin that was contagious, which had Ron finding himself smiling along.  
  
“Are you going like that?” Harry asked through his faint laughter.  
  
“Harry this is the 70’s, this was the fashion back then.” Hermione explained, and Harry shook his head amused.  
  
“Sirius, you are barely wearing anything!” Ron looked at him again, and the dog animagus grinned as if that was something to be proud of.  
  
“At least he isn't wearing that.” Harry pointed at one poster where a man was wearing a full body suit in neon colours, only his chest wasn't covered, showing off the man’s black chest hair.  
  
“Who is that?” Ron asked horrified, as he looked at the poster even closer, before he went to the next poster and saw that the men wore similar clothing as well. “Muggles are weird.”  
  
Hermione cleared her throat and Ron shrugged; if someone wore that he had to be out of his mind. If Ron showed up dressed like that, his mother would get him a one way ticket to St. Mungos. “That's Freddie Mercury, lead singer of Queen,” Hermione explained, before Sirius had the chance to open his mouth. “My mother loves him.”  
  
“Your mother and me both.” Sirius grinned, looking at the poster. Ron looked between Harry and Freddie, trying to figure out what Sirius saw in that man with the funny clothing. “It’s not always about looks.” Sirius said to him.  
  
“Hear that Harry,” Remus asked. “He is cheating on you with a poster.”  
  
“At least the poster doesn't return his love.” Harry laughed.  
  
Sirius glared at them both as he stepped to the poster and pressed his lips on Freddie's. Ron once again was reminded of what he might have to do with Lucius.   
  
“Come on, get dressed.” Peter cried out. James gave Hermione a golden dress and a black bathing suit. “From mom,” he said. “They’re both still new. If you need help with a spell to make them smaller just call for Keki, she is the best.” James ignored her scowling face, and told Ron and Harry to follow him.  
In James’ room they entered his closet, which was spelled larger on the inside. “Wow.” Harry exclaimed, as he stood in the closet. There was a sofa in the middle, the back wall was covered in a large mirror, the wall on the right was full of muggle clothing and the one on the left full of robes. Both boys watched as James went through his muggle clothes - their smiles vanished as they saw the golden pants and blouse.  
  
James gave Harry the golden pants and a white blouse with wide sleeves. Ron was handed tight jeans with the golden blouse that showed off his belly. “I look like a girl.” Harry said, horrified as he looked in the mirror.  
  
“You want to change?” Ron asked hopefully. “This doesn't fit.”  
  
“It does,” James countered with a smirk. “It’s supposed to show off your navel.”  
  
“I look like a whore.” Ron cried.  
  
“I don't understand why I have to look like a snitch.” Harry said, looking at his father.  
  
“Because you are a catch.” Sirius leaned against the wooden door of the closet watching Harry.  
  
“Shouldn't you be the snitch? I am a Seeker after all.”  
  
“Stop flirting.” James rolled his eyes and pushed them both out of his closet, giving them no more chance to complain.  
  
“Any reason why we all have to wear gold?” Ron asked James as he closed the closet door.  
  
“Nope.”  
  
Both boys groaned seeing James’ eyes twinkle with laughter. They went back to the living room, waiting for Hermione who soon came down with a red face - which, with what she was wearing, made her look like a living Gryffindor banner in gold and red.  
  
“Wow.” Ron breathed, as he caught Hermione in his eyes; the golden dress was tight on the top and loose on the bottom, making her look like an upside-down flower. Hermione bit her lips slightly to suppress her laughter as she looked Harry and Ron over.  
  
“Guess we are the golden trio now.” Harry snorted.  
  
“You look handsome, dear,” Mrs. Potter cooed at Harry, who looked embarrassed. “My Gryffindor Prince.” she said, as she saw the golden pants Harry was in.  
  
“I thought I was your Gryffindor Prince!” James dramatically covered his eyes and let himself fall into Sirius’ arms, who was crying along with James. Peter was near James fanning him with his hands, while Remus just watched his friends’ antics in amusement.  
  
“Thank you, grandma.” Harry said, as he looked at his father with a sad smile.  
  
“What's wrong?” Hermione whispered.  
  
Harry shrugged, giving his friends a shaky smile. “Just wondering how my life would have been if I was raised by him instead of uncle Vernon.” He whispered. He looked at James who ran to his room quickly.  
  
Ron saw Mrs. Potter carrying a basket, which he hoped was full of delicious food. A loud yell diverted his gaze from the basket to Sirius, who was begging Remus for a piggy ride. Peter watched happily as Remus shrugged and threw Sirius over his shoulder. Sirius’ legs kicked Remus in the chest and head while his fists banged on Remus’ back. He only heard Sirius scream “Not like that!” before spells were thrown.  
  
“Boys, no duelling inside.” Mr. Potter chastised, and pointed at the door. Sirius dragged Remus outside, followed by a howling Peter. The trio stood there with their mouths dropped open.  
  
“I think you would have been a mixture of that, if you were raised by your dad.” Hermione said, shaking her head.  
  
James came back, smiling at Harry. “Ready?” He asked his parents, who nodded. He came over to Harry and placed a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to the door. “Padfoot, Moony, Wormy,” he yelled. “Get your filthy flea butts in here, we’re leaving.”  
  
“Are we going to Apparate?” Harry asked shyly.  
  
“No dear, it's a muggle area. We take the bus,” Mrs. Potter looked at the door where Remus and Sirius were pushing each other. “Which leaves in 15 minutes!” she yelled in their direction. Sirius smirked, pushing Remus one last time before he hurried over to the others.  
  
Harry was the first one out the door, looking like a puppy going on a walk for the very first time. He kept looking back excitedly and he was walking a little faster than usual. Sirius was right beside Harry and so was James, who watched Sirius like a hawk.  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Potter walked at the end of the line, talking to Peter and Remus about Hogwarts.  
  
The bus ride itself was rather boring; Sirius kept yelling but that was nothing new. Ron didn't know how he had so much energy; he was the opposite of a dementor. Instead of a soul sucking creature Sirius seemed to shine full of energy and happiness that he shared with the people around him.  
  
Sirius didn't seem childish however, he simply looked as if he had no care at all. It might have been just Ron however who saw him like that; maybe because he was so different from their Sirius. He hadn't encountered the dementors yet. He would never have to.  
  
“It's only a five minute walk to the park.” Remus told them, as they stepped off the bus and pointed down the hill.  
  
Ron walked between Harry and Hermione who talked in a language that almost seemed foreign to him; they were eagerly questioning how the muggle world was in the 70’s, only ever having seen it on a television. Harry mentioned telephones and Hermione started to giggle saying her father still had a really big one.  
  
Ron tuned both out as he watched the surroundings. Like his father he liked muggles, he thought they were weird and hilarious. How they could accomplish everything without magic seemed surreal to him. If Ron were to lose his magic he would be lost. Hermione had tried to explain to him about electricity, but Ron couldn't figure out how they got magic in walls that could bring devices to life. It was creepy if you asked him.  
  
“Where is Harry?” Ron asked, as Hermione stopped walking abruptly. Hermione pointed with her head to the lake were Harry and Sirius were already splashing each other. “Where is James?” Hermione shrugged, and asked Ron if he wanted to walk around the park a little.  
  
The park was a muggle park and it was huge. There were people running around in their bra and tight pants; others were playing with one ball, kicking it around; and then there were some just sitting on a blanket, smoke coming out of their mouths as if they were on fire. He knew all about smoking. Ron didn't know why it was something muggles did; it seemed odd to put something on fire in your mouth. He had seen Sirius smoke yesterday night, saying it calms him down. If Ron wanted to be calm he took a potion instead of smoke.  
  
Ron took Hermione’s hand and entwined their fingers together. His mind wasn't fully there, however; a part of his mind was too focused on tomorrow, where he was supposed to meet the well known Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy.  
  
To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Ron's whole body shivered just thinking about it. Through their letters, Lucius had been funny and creepy at the same time. He had sounded interested in what Ron had to say, had asked for more details and made a joke or two; sometimes the joke was down right cruel, sometimes it made Ron smile - then of course he had mentioned what he would like to do to Ron if they met; that he couldn't wait to kiss Ron's lips.  
  
“It's beautiful here, isn't it?” Hermione swung their arms back and forth, looking happily around. Ron nodded, looking at the trees and the small lake where Harry was hugging Sirius from behind. A shiver ran down his spine as his mind flooded with pictures of him and Lucius instead of Sirius and Harry.  
  
“Want to swim? The others are already in.” Hermione asked, seeing Ron eyeing the lake.  
  
He didn't wanted to spoil her mood - how could he, after she looked at him with hopeful eyes. Ron would do anything for Hermione. He swallowed the last thoughts of Lucius that worked around his brain, and focused on her. The smartest and funniest witch he had ever known, a woman not afraid to face danger and always having a solution at hand.  
  
Ron changed in a small public bathroom that was near the lake. The brown bathing pants he had gotten from Remus were a bit tight, but he had downright refused taking the red ones offered by Peter. He checked his wand a couple of times, which he had put in the pocket of his pants as he waited for Hermione to return.  
  
Hermione wore a black bathing suit, and Ron couldn't help but stare openly at his girlfriend. Suddenly he wanted nothing more but to go back home; the small part that was consuming his thoughts with Lucius were suddenly mute and his brain worked solely for his precious girlfriend. With a quick step, he closed their distance and kissed her. His hands wandered down her back and he pressed her close to him. She smiled against his lips, returning his kiss softly. Just as he licked her lips to gain entrance they were disturbed by a yell. “Get a room!” followed by Harry's laughter and him telling Sirius to leave them alone. Ron scowled at Sirius as they broke apart.  
  
“He is so happy here,” Hermione said. “I never thought I would see him like this ever again, not after he lost everyone.” Ron nodded, the urge to kiss Hermione gone as he remembered Harry after losing Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Tonks and Fred. Harry had been a mess, but everyone would have been.  
  
Harry together with Sirius was so wrong but made so much sense if you saw them together. Sirius was Harry's missing piece to a happy life. One smile from Sirius and Harry was already grinning; a few jokes and Harry doubled over with laughter; a kiss could shut him up with a goofy smile on his face. Only once or twice would you see guilt and blame in Harry's eyes, but usually they shined with love and happiness.  
  
Not only Sirius, but also James, Remus, and Lily were helping Harry get back to how he used to be. This time was really helping. Harry looked healthier and happier with each day. Gone was the wrecked boy who was drowning in guilt and blame.  
  
“What happens if we go back and nothing changed? It would destroy him.”  
  
“I don't know.” Hermione admitted, and Ron frowned; he had hoped his girlfriend had an answer to his fear. “Come on.” she sighed, pulling him into the freezing water.  
  
“It’s ice cold!”  
  
“Reminds me of how you saved me from drowning.” Harry said, clapping him on the back before Sirius came and pulled him into his arms again, pulling both of them under the water. Harry laughed as they re-emerged again, splashing Sirius with water. “Stop before I drown you.” he threatened, and Sirius gave a bark like laugh as he dove under water. Ron was just opening his mouth to say something to Harry when he felt his leg being pulled and suddenly found himself drowning. He kicked his opponent and freed his leg from the grip.  
  
“Are you okay?” Hermione asked through laughter.  
  
“Sorry, wrong leg.” Sirius smirked, rubbing his chest where Ron had kicked him.  
  
“Fine.” Ron said, calming his racing heart. He quickly looked around, making sure there were no death eaters about. He was being stupid, he knew that, but he didn't know when was the last time he fully relaxed, where he could just play without thinking his life and the life of his friends were at risk.  
  
“Don't worry,” Harry said. “I felt the same.” Ron gave him a grateful smile, before he grinningly went under water and transformed to Ruddy. He swam around a little before he detected Sirius, and bit him in his leg. He heard a painful yell and quickly transformed back, hurriedly swimming up to gasp for air, before he turned to Sirius with a dark smile.  
  
“Hey! I did apologise!” The Black heir yelled, before he laughingly threw himself at Ron. The skin contact made him remember his upcoming mission to seduce Lucius, and he shuddered a little. Fear came crushing down on him, and he quickly went to the only place he felt safe. He went back to Hermione and both swam around a little bit - mostly Hermione hung on his arms like a little monkey, wearing an overly large wig. Her usual bushy hair covered her whole face, and she desperately tried to keep it under control. She constantly dipped her head back into the water to straighten her hair and try to keep it out of her face. She looked absolutely adorable to Ron, and he found himself smiling lovingly at her, forgetting about the others around him.  
  
Hermione kissed his smile and Ron's smile grew into a loving sigh. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, old sap.” Hermione laughed, as she gave him another kiss and held onto his shoulders, her legs around his torso.  
  
“Wanna get out?” Ron asked out of breath, Hermione gave him another nod but made no move to get out of his arms.  
  
“Five more minutes.” she mumbled, before she splashed him with water. Five minutes turned into fifty, but Ron didn’t mind. He hadn't had such fun for a long time. They had paired up, Harry sitting on Sirius’ shoulders and Hermione on Ron's. Both were trying to throw the other off. James was still nowhere to be found, and Remus saw no logic in having three pairs. He swam around a little, while Peter watched Harry and Hermione.  
  
Harry and Sirius won ten out of ten rounds, which Sirius announced quite happily.  
“One more time.” Hermione smirked, as if she knew something the others didn't.  
  
“If you want to lose that desperately.” Sirius shrugged, and then Harry was being pushed by Hermione. As he tried to push back, he felt another two hands on his shoulders pushing him. Ron saw the fear in his eyes as the boy quickly turned around to see who grabbed him; his hand leaving Hermione to reach for his wand hidden in his bathing pants.  
  
Before Harry had the time to curse his opponent, Sirius’ legs were pulled away and both boys found themselves under water. Harry quickly raised his wand at his attacker - only to see his father carrying his mother on his shoulders.  
  
“Mum?” Harry put the wand down and gave her an embarrassed smile.  
  
“Cheater!” Sirius yelled, as he threw himself on a smirking Remus.  
  
“Hi Harry.” Lily smiled at Harry, as if her son hadn't just pointed his wand at her face.  
  
“I asked her to join, hope that's okay?” James said to Harry who nodded, grinning at his mother.  
  
Harry climbed back onto Sirius’ back, while Peter tried to climb on Remus’, who with a frown let him. Lily took on Hermione, while Harry tried to take on Peter. Sirius, though, didn't seem to like that, as he threw Harry down from his shoulders himself. Harry laughed as he reappeared, and Sirius motioned him to switch as he climbed onto Harry's back.  
  
“Padfoot, if you break him, you buy a new one.” James threatened, and earned himself a kick to his chest from Lily. Sirius smirked darkly as he looked at Peter, who squeaked a little before he was pushed by Sirius.  
  
“Boys!” Mrs. Potter yelled. “And girls!” she added in an afterthought. Sirius yelled for Harry to hurry, and the pushing game turned into a race. Which Remus won.  
  
Ron and Hermione would have been second if it wasn't for the small sand area - Ron only saw James and Harry running as fast as they could as he tripped over a sandcastle. As he stood and helped Hermione up who was covered in sand he distantly heard a small child cry for their mother because someone destroyed their castle. Ron offered to Hermione to fix the castle, but she shook her head saying it was too risky.  
  
“Second!” Sirius and James yelled at the same time.  
  
“We were clearly second, Pads.” James said, as Lily climbed back down.  
  
“If you open your eyes you would see we were second, Third.”  
  
“Who are you calling Third? Third.” James raised his eyebrow.  
  
“Sirius get down,” Harry huffed. “Who cares who was second or third?”  
  
Ron, who stood there with Hermione, laughed at both of them as Sirius looked down on James as if he was considering jumping on him  
  
Sirius jumped down and yelled once again. “Second!” Making muggles turn to look at the group. Harry rolled his eyes and smiled fondly at his bickering father and godfather.  
  
“Anyone hungry?” Mrs. Potter asked, and everyone sat down hurriedly, Hermione and Ron swiftly brushing the sand off before sitting down on the blanket Mrs. Potter had brought with them.  
  
“What happened to you?” Harry asked  
  
“He fell.” Hermione pointed at Ron, who shrugged as he fought with Peter over a chicken wing. “There is enough for everyone,” she rolled her eyes as Ron triumphantly held the chicken in the air as if it was a golden medallion. “Idiot.”  
  
“Harry,” Lily called, and waved him over to her and James. Ron watched his friend gulping before going to them. “I got your owl today. Thank you,” she smiled, and gave Harry a letter. “I wanted to send it back, when James flooed me to ask if I wanted to come today.” Harry pocketed the letter with a smile on his face.  
  
“Lily.” Sirius called, opening his hands. Lily rolled her eyes and pointed at her bag. Sirius smile grew as he fished a square package out of it.  
  
“Mum, are you staying with us?” Harry asked hopefully.  
  
“Maybe next time,” Both Harry and James’ faces turned a bit disappointed. “My parents are a bit possessive after not seeing me for a long time.” she laughed.  
  
“We’ll come visit soon.” James promised.  
  
“My mom told me to say, ‘Harry, please stop by as soon as you can’.” she quoted with a higher pitched voice.  
  
Ron heard Harry and his mother talking some more as he lay down and closed his eyes for a little bit - when he reopened them he was being shaken awake by Hermione. “We are going home”. Ron stretched himself awake and stood up, following Harry and Hermione to the bus station.  
  
“I’ll see you soon.” Lily said, giving first James a kiss, and then Harry a kiss on his cheek before leaving.  
  
“Is mum gonna be okay alone?” Harry asked his father, who nodded proudly.  
  
“Best witch of our generation,” James said. “Besides, her house isn't far away from here.” and he pointed in the direction where her house was supposed to be.  
  
Back at home, Ron took Harry and went to their room. He locked it and silenced it, before he turned to Harry.  
  
“I love it here,” Harry confessed. “I don't really want to go back. I have grandparents here who love me, parents who love me; I have Remus and Peter,” Ron coughed his disagreement. “I have Sirius.” Harry said sadly, looking at Ron who nodded, not knowing what to say. He knew Harry would never do anything selfish, even though he had every right to.  
“But only we can defeat Voldemort and save everyone.” Harry sighed and Ron gave him a shrug.  
  
To an extent, Harry was right. They had done it. Harry had faced Voldemort more than once; but Harry wasn't a Horcrux anymore. Ron and Hermione had already talked about the risks - could Harry face him again? He had died last time, but he had done it on purpose. Ron didn't want to lose Harry - not even if it meant to bring Fred back. He also knew Fred wouldn't have wanted that. Harry was his family, had been ever since Ron had entered his train compartment. It was one of the best things that had ever happened to Ron; just next to the troll incident, as both had given him his two best friends, without whom he could never imagine living.  
  
No matter how often he run away from them, they always accepted him back with open arms. He didn't deserve that - but Ron was young back then, and after not finding his way back to them at the Horcrux hunt, he swore to never again leave their sides no matter what happened. Which is why he could understand Sirius’ anger towards the rat. Ron might have run away, but he would never betray his friends - not even for his own life.  
  
“I know, we’ll see them all in the future,” Ron smiled, and Harry nodded looking away. “Harry,”  
  
Before he could ask his embarrassing question once again, Harry placed his lips on Ron giving him a small kiss. It was over quick and Ron blushed - he at least now had his first male kiss with someone he loved.  
He loved Harry, Harry was his best friend, his brother. Ron didn't want to have his first male kiss with someone he didn't like; it was something personal to him. He didn't just want to kiss anyone, not after he had kissed Lavender, hoping it had been Hermione he got to share his first kiss with. Now at least he had shared his first male kiss with Harry and not Lucius Malfoy.  
  
“Thank you.” Ron said awkwardly.  
  
“That's what friends are for.”  
  
Harry canceled the spell and walked out, before things could get awkward.  
  
“Alright?” Hermione asked, as she entered the room.  
  
“Just a lot on my mind.”  
  
“Don't worry, we’ll find it quickly and you won't have to deal with Lucius any longer.” she tried to give him a reassuring smile, but Ron saw the worry in her eyes.  
  
“I know.” he said, with as much conviction as he could gather.  
  
“We already have an idea where it is,” Hermione whispered. “In his study he has a space under the floor for dark artefacts.” Ron nodded in understanding.  
  
“Be careful,” he warned, and Hermione snorted. “I mean it.” Ron rolled his eyes.  
  
The rest of the day Ron was just a bundle of nerves. He didn't eat any dinner, nor did he drink the warm chocolate Harry's grandma made for them. Everyone was busy and he had nothing that could distract him.  
  
Harry was with James, and no one wanted to disturb the two. Remus and Hermione were reading a book and working on their assignments. Peter had gone home early saying he had to work on something. Ron was secretly glad the rat was finally gone; still, he had a funny feeling about what he was up to. Harry assured him Peter wasn't a death eater yet. But Ron was convinced Peter was already evil. Unfortunately, Peter was nice, smiled a lot and was nothing like the traitorous rat he was in their time. The only crime he might have committed would have been looking at Harry with kindness and love.  
  
When he saw Sirius smoking in the backyard he decided he did need some calming down, and he had no potion at hand.  
  
“Mind if I join you?” Sirius shook his head. He still wore his ripped jeans but he had taken off his vest, standing there chest naked. Sirius offered his cigarette and Ron reluctantly took it.  
“Just inhale, right?”  
Sirius snickered, and gave Ron a small yeah.  
  
Ron couldn't breathe as he coughed the smoke out, and he saw Sirius failing to hide his amusement – more likely the boy didn't even try at all. “Feel calm?” Sirius laughed.  
  
“I could have died.” Ron said, throwing the cigarette away.  
  
“Give it a couple more tries and you will stop coughing.” Ron watched as Sirius took the square package that he had gotten from Lily and picked out another cigarette.  
  
“Why don't you buy it yourself?”  
  
“I love muggles,” Sirius lit up his cigarette. “But they are so confusing. One wanted to see my identity card,” Sirius shrugged, he gave Ron the lit up cigarette for another try and lit up a new one for himself. “Don't throw it away.” he warned.  
  
“Lily has a card?” Ron asked curiously.  
  
“She has, but she isn't allowed to buy cigarettes yet; her father is the one who bought them.”  
  
The smoke scratched his throat, and instead of a calm feeling Ron felt angry for not being able to do it right. He watched Sirius who made it look as easy as breathing in and out. Ron pouted at his cigarette as he tried to take another drag of it. He coughed the smoke out for the fourth time and heard Sirius laughing next to him.  
  
“Sirius,” Ron moved closer to the Black heir, who raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you really love him?”  
  
Sirius seemed to think about that as he looked into the distance. “Freddie?” he asked after a while.  
  
“Who?” Ron asked angrily, before he remembered the funny man in his funny clothing. “I was talking about Harry.” Ron rolled his eyes.  
  
“I do,” Sirius sighed. “Is this the part where you tell me that if I break his heart you break my bones?”  
  
“This is the part where I ask you to not hurt him. He deserves happiness.”  
  
“That we agree on,” Sirius smiled.  
“Can I ask you something, Weasley?” Ron nodded “Why don't you like Pettigrew? Harry is okay with him.”  
  
“I might not be as forgiving as Harry,” Ron shrugged. “He was my rat. He was in my house; he was in the same house as my baby sister,” Ron's hands turned into fists. “He is the reason my best friend had a terrible childhood,” Ron shook his head. “I could never forgive him.”  
  
Sirius nodded. “I could never hurt Harry.” Sirius promised, the smoke carrying his words up to the night sky.  
  
The next day arrived, and Ron counted every minute until he had to meet Lucius at the café.  
When the time came, he gave Hermione one last look before he Apparated away to the café. He saw worry in her brown eyes, and he tried to give her a reassuring smile, despite his own nervousness.  
“Find it as fast as you can.” he told her, and she nodded quickly. Ron worried that her neck would break from the nodding. Before she could say something, he turned around and Apparated.  
  
“Ronald.” Lucius greeted him as soon as he appeared in front of the café. He looked almost the same as he did in his time: long blond hair, ice blue eyes that promised pain, and expensive clothing that told everyone he was better than the rest of them; the only thing different was no cane, and his warm smile directed towards a Weasley.  
  
“Lucius.” Ron greeted back with a nod, hating himself when his voice shook a little. Lucius looked him over as if he was something he was considering buying.  
  
Lucius took Ron’s hand and guided the red-haired boy inside. There were two guards at the entrance. Lucius forwarded his hand to them, motioning to Ron to do the same. A small house elf Ron hadn't noticed gave both of them a quill, and Ron watched as Lucius wrote down his name on a piece of paper that looked way too yellow. “That's muggle skin.” Lucius told him with a smile, and Ron's inside made a jump.  
  
Ron wrote his name on the piece of skin and watched, horrified, when his name appeared on his left hand. He winced slightly but otherwise made no expression. Lucius peaked on the skin that was now covered with Ron's blood and then at Ron's hand, giving it a gentle kiss. “Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Weasley.” the house elf called, and both men were guided inside by a bowing house elf.  
  
“Why did we have to write our names?” Ron asked, as they sat down. The café was cozy, the walls were a soft ocean green while the tables were silver. There was no doubt it was made by a Slytherin. The silverware had little snakes on the handle, the eyes covered in diamonds.  
  
“Just to prove that you aren't a mudblood,” Ron bit his tongue from yelling at him. “If you weren’t who you said you were than the word mudblood would have appeared largely on your skin.” Lucius laughed a little, as if he had come up with that idea. Ron nodded in understanding, masking his face from showing his disgust.  
  
Ron tried to say something but he had no idea what; it was different than writing with Lucius. In the letters Ron often forgot who he was writing to, but now he sat directly opposite Lucius Malfoy, a well-known Death Eater, and father of his school enemy. Lucius snapped his fingers and a bowing house elf appeared. She didn't look him in the eyes and fixated her eyes on the ground.  
  
“We’ll have today's special and a bottle of wine.” The house elf bowed even lower and with another snap of his fingers she was gone. “So, you are a Gryffindor.” Lucius stated, barely hiding his disgust.  
  
“Yes, and you are a Slytherin,” Ron confirmed. “Makes us enemies, doesn't it?” he asked, looking into icy blue eyes.  
  
“I could never be your enemy, Weasley,” he said, smiling. “I just don't understand what a pureblood does in that house. It's a disgrace, if you ask me.”  
  
“Really? Why? Because it's the house of the brave?”  
  
“Because it's a house full of traitors and mudbloods.”  
  
“Well, Slytherin is a house that produces one evil wizard after another.”  
  
Lucius chuckled. “You mustn't know many Slytherins then,” he stated, taking Ron's hand in his own. “I assure you we aren't all evil.”  
  
“You do say mud- a lot.” Ron mumbled, and Lucius laughed a little.  
  
“Forgive me Ar- Ronald, I forget how Gryffindors don't like that word.” A big steak appeared on their plates, next to them some potatoes and vegetables; the steak was covered in a brown sauce and the smell alone made Ron's mouth water. Ron was so focused on the sizzling sound the meat made he didn't notice Lucius almost calling him by his father's name. “Bon Appetite”  
  
The first mouthful of the well-done steak made Ron moan out loud. “This is the best food I ever had, so much better than Hogwarts.”  
  
Lucius snorted. “Of course it is Ronald, my house elf can cook better than Hogwarts house elves.” Ron made a non-committal sound, as he shoved another piece of meat in his mouth.  
  
Suddenly Lucius jerked and he looked suspiciously at Ron. “What?”  
  
“We need to go.” he said angrily.  
  
“But-” Ron began, looking at his plate like a little child that was offered candy only to be given fruit.  
  
“Now!” Lucius said, and took Ron harshly by his arm before disapparating them both away. As soon as they landed Ron checked himself over.  
  
“Are you mad?! You could have left my buttocks behind!”  
  
“I am very fond of your buttocks; be rest assured I wouldn't leave that behind.” Lucius said, looking around. Ron saw the white mansion behind him, and he stared at Lucius as the man started to pace left and right.  
  
“Why are we here?”  
  
“I believe you know why we are here.”  
  
Ron gulped, he wanted to look around for Harry and Hermione but he knew it would make him even more suspicious. “I thought we could at least finish dinner before we went to your home,” Ron closed the distance between them, shutting his eyes and hoping that Harry and Hermione were already gone. “But if you can't wait any longer.” Ron said and pressed his lips onto Lucius’.  
  
Harry's lips were softer than Lucius’, also Harry had kissed him quickly and gently; Lucius was harsh - it seemed he wanted to eat Ron more than kiss him. Ron felt Lucius stealing his breath and he broke off the kiss. He heard Lucius breathe heavily before Ron was being pushed back. They passed effortlessly through the wards, and Lucius kissed him until Ron was pressed against the wall.  
  
“So much better than steak and wine.” Lucius said against his lips, and Ron shuddered – he’d rather have a bottle of wine right now; he’d really rather eat his steak than have Lucius’ tongue in his mouth.  
  
“I should go.” Ron said, as Lucius started opening his robe. Lucius shook his head and kissed him again. He bit down on Ron’s lips and Ron escaped a slow moan of pleasure; his hand acted on his own holding onto Lucius’ shoulder. Ron felt his knees giving away, and if it wasn't for Lucius’ strong hold on his hips he knew he would have fallen down.  
  
“Not gonna let you go again.” Lucius kissed his way down to his neck and he bit and sucked slowly on the sensitive skin. Ron asked what he meant, and Lucius must have realised his mistake, because he quickly straightened himself and gave Ron one last kiss. “You must forgive me for ruining our dinner,” he said, as he opened the mansion and guided Ron in. “Someone tried to break into my wards,” he shook his head angrily. “They are either dead now or seriously injured.” his voice as cold as ice, and Ron's whole body was covered in goose-bumps, fearing the worst.  
  
“How come I could pass?”  
  
“Hmm? You were with me,” Lucius started walking towards a room “Excuse me for a moment.” Ron nodded. As soon as Lucius was out of sight he looked around. The mansion door was locked and he knew only Lucius could open it, or the house elf.  
  
He saw no green or silver anywhere. He stood in a big, white room and everything was elegant and screamed money. If Ron hadn't known before that the Malfoys were rich, he certainly did now. In the middle of the room was a big, black sofa that could fit a whole Quidditch team; on the wall above the fireplace was a big picture of Lucius and his parents; on another was a picture of two snakes, one eating the other’s tail. But what caught his eye was a dead stuffed animal in the middle of the room, right behind the sofa.  
  
“Beautiful isn't it?” Lucius asked, as Ron kept on staring at the dead hippogriff.  
  
“Shame it's dead.” Ron said.  
  
“It's not like anyone is missing it,” Lucius countered, and pulled Ron down to sit on the sofa next to him. “Don’t worry about creatures.” he said, as he cupped Ron's chin and nipped at his jaw.  
  
Seeing the dead hippogriff however reminded him of Buckbeak and Sirius. “What's wrong?” Lucius asked.  
  
“I knew someone who had a hippogriff as a pet,” Lucius kept silent, but his ice blue eyes shone with jealousy. “He died.”  
  
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Lucius’ voice was monotone, making him sound not sorry at all. “Dobby!” Lucius called, and the house elf quickly bowed low.  
  
“Master Lucius called Dobby, sir.”  
  
“Get us something to eat and drink.” Dobby bowed again, not seeing Ron's watery eyes.  
  
“I should leave.” Ron said, his thoughts on his best friends.  
  
“Hurry up.” Lucius kicked the bowing house elf who quickly disapparated away.   
  
“That’s your house elf,” Ron said, unable to contain his anger any longer. “You shouldn't kick him!” he yelled.  
  
“I do whatever I want with what's mine.” Lucius countered.  
  
“I’m leaving.”  
  
“You’re not,” Lucius closed the door, trapping Ron inside. Ron took out his wand and pointed it at Lucius. “Calm down Ronald. I will apologise to him when he gets back, okay?” He said gently, pushing the wand down. Ron nodded, but he didn't put his wand away.  
  
The only thing stopping him from cursing the life out of Lucius Malfoy was the need for the Horcrux, and the longing to complete their current adventure and go back home. Home to where, hopefully, Fred would be waiting for him.  
  
As promised, Lucius apologised to Dobby when the small house elf reappeared, bringing them some oysters and wine. Dobby had refused the apology saying it was his fault, which made Ron frown and Lucius smirk in victory at Ron.  
  
Ron was trapped inside a room with a death eater, while Hermione and Harry could be seriously injured or dead. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted to run and find his way to his friends. Ron had no idea how he could get out of this situation. Lucius handed Ron a small plate with oysters, regarding him with dark eyes. Ron had no idea if Lucius was looking at him with hunger or suspicion - he hoped for the first.


	20. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING ⚠️!!!!  
> This chapter contains RAPE SCENES. 
> 
> Again much thanks to ImperialRedWolf for being a wonderful Beta.

Harry and Hermione were standing in front of the mansion. Harry thought his father's house was big but this was at least double the size of it. Harry wasn't sure how they would find a small diary in a place as huge as this. He felt the urge to shiver. The mansion, though being the colour white, seemed dark and haunted for some reason, which he was sure had everything to do with the use of dark magic.  
  
“I’m sure it's warded.” Hermione whispered, as if afraid Lucius could hear them.  
  
“Probably,” Harry agreed. “So, how do we cancel the wards?”  
  
“I have practiced a spell,” Hermione told him. “But I have never before tried it on a real ward.” She bit her lip, regarding him with worry in her eyes.  
  
Harry nodded and watched as Hermione took her wand and spoke words he couldn't make out. She swished her wand up and down, left to right, made a circle, finishing by flicking it up one more time. Harry found it quite mesmerising.  
  
“I have no idea if that worked.” She confessed, seeming to search for something as Harry stepped forward, her worried expression turning to shock in an instant. Harry took a stick that he found on the ground and poked it into the air in front of him.  
  
“That's not how it works, Harry,” she snickered. “Only humans can't pass the wards.”  
  
Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he stepped forward, his hands stretched out taking one step at a time, Hermione next to him.  
  
He felt sudden tension and threw himself in front of Hermione. In horror, Harry watched as his middle finger that had touched the ward was slowly cut open, revealing its bone.  
  
Harry heard an agonizing scream floating through the air and realized it was himself making that noise. The cut traveled slowly up his hand, and Harry cried out in pain, having no idea if it would ever end or if he just wanted to die right there to make it stop.  
  
“Harry!” Hermione cried, as she realized what the spell did. “We need the counter spell!” she yelled. “Now!”  
  
“I don't -” Harry said, through gritted teeth, the rest of his sentence turning into a scream. He hunched down in pain, while Hermione pointed her wand at his hand to slow the bleeding. Harry watched through blurry eyes as the cut reached his wrist and he quickly held it tight to prevent it from bleeding him dry.  
  
“Of course you don't have it.” Hermione tried every spell she knew in a panicked haze. “Nothing's working!” she whined, as Harry screamed again. “Why is nothing working?!” She looked around as if someone was there who could bring her the answer.  
  
“Dark,” Harry bit his lip. “Magic?”  
  
“I think you are right, I should have learned more dark magic spells, so that we would have counter spells to everything!” Hermione rambled on as Harry rolled his eyes through the pain. “Don't we know anyone who has dark magic knowledge?” She started pacing around Harry while muttering her thoughts out loud. “But who?” She looked at Harry who bit into his arm to keep himself from yelling out again.  
  
“Sirius!” She yelled, and Harry whipped his head around to search for the boy. “He’s a Black, he must know something!” she thought out loud, then sunk her head. “No, he hates dark magic.”  
  
“Of course, Snape!” She jumped up looking almost happy, until her eyes met Harry’s and happiness turned to panic. “Where does he live?”  
Harry shrugged slightly, wincing as the cut neared an old scar.  
  
“Your dad might know.” Hermione added.  
Before Harry had the chance to shake his head, Hermione already cut him off, “No, he wouldn't. But your mother?” she gave him a questioning look. “Didn't they live near each other?” Harry gave her a nod.  
  
Hermione tried again to spell the bleeding to a stop, but when it didn't work she grabbed Harry by the shoulder. Taking her wand she tapped Harry on his head, bewildering him as he saw his body rapidly disappear. Hermione twirled the wand around her, doing the same to herself, becoming one with the colour and texture of their surroundings.  
  
Harry was about to open his mouth to ask Hermione why she had used the disillusionment charm on them, when he felt the familiar pull in his navel. It only lasted a second but it always managed to make Harry feel ill. “’Mione.”He groaned, the first syllable of her name staying on his tongue.  
  
“Sorry.” Hermione said, tightening her grip on his shoulder.  
  
Recognizing the area she had apparated them to as the one they had parted ways with his mother the day before, after their time in the park, Harry started walking in the direction his father had pointed in, when indicating where his mother lived. Harry could only hope Snape lived in the same direction. However, before he had managed his first step, the ground beneath his feet seemed to vanish. Harry automatically waved his arms trying to find his balance, which quickly turned into a full-body writhe, having aggravated the ever-growing gaping wound.  
  
“Just relax, Harry,” Hermione whispered. “Muggles can't see us but they can still hear us,” she told him. “You shouldn't walk.” was all she said for having Harry lifted up in the air and floating next to her as if he was her balloon.  
  
“My arm -”Harry panted. “Not leg.”  
  
“I know that, Bolt.” Hermione used the voice she always used when she thought her reasoning was obvious. “The more you walk the more blood you will lose.”  
  
Harry snorted, which quickly turned into a whispered scream as the cut Wormtail had given him was reopened by the lengthening split. Hermione hurriedly walked on with Harry floating next to her, her hand that had touched his shoulder now held tightly on his injured arm but he didn't had the heart to tell her she should let go.  
  
“The hill.” Harry gasped.  
  
“What?” Hermione asked, looking at where she supposed Harry's head would be. “You think that's where he lives?” Harry coughed out a yes. “I think we should ask your mother.” Hermione tried again, but Harry wouldn't take no for an answer.  
  
He knew Snape lived in a house on a hill. He had read as much about Snape as he could, wanting to know more about the man that had risked his life for him, after his passing.  
  
As quickly as she could, Hermione climbed the small hill up, Harry floating behind her remaining silent. The silence did little to reassure her though, and every now and then she would whisper his name, and he would grunt his response.  
  
There was no name written anywhere that indicated they were at the right place, when Hermione lowered Harry gently back to the ground and lifted the disillusionment spell making both visible again.  
  
He looked even more awful than he had in front of the mansion. His face was now pale as if the blood in there was already gone. His whole body seemed covered in blood. Not only his body but also the street, Hermione looked from where they came and saw a trail of blood.  
  
“Hansel and Gretel.” Harry chuckled lightly, she supposed it was a good sign if Harry was still able to laugh a little. Harry's chuckle turned into coughing before Hermione watched her friend biting his lip and closing his eyes, his hands tightened the hold on his own wrist.  
  
She banged her fist against the wooden door until her knuckles began to turn red. “Open the door!” She yelled while she kicked at it.  
  
Hermione took out her wand ready to bust the door down, when it opened and revealed an angry pair of onyx eyes.  
  
Severus face changed to shock, happiness and then shock again as he saw Harry, then took in his condition. “Harry.” he breathed, stepping aside to let both inside.  
  
“Sev.” Harry choked out. The cut was already above his elbow and Harry bit his lip to stop from screaming, his right hand holding his bleeding wrist tightly. He knew if Severus didn't know the spell, he would die. He ominously felt so tired. He had already lost too much blood.  
  
Severus guided them inside.  
“What is he doing here?” An angry voice asked, and Harry and Hermione turned their eyes towards it, cringing when they recognized the boy standing proudly in the doorway with his arms crossed.  
  
Back at the mansion, the red-haired boy was sick with worry, his mind tumbling with thoughts of his girlfriend. Was she alright? Was she hurt? What happened?  
  
But the man in front of him made him even sicker.  
  
The kiss they had shared felt good despite Ron not wanting it to, and the blonde’s touch made his body respond, despite Ron not liking it. He wanted Lucius to stop, he wanted to hex the man and go home, but he needed to complete the mission and bring back a Horcrux.  
  
With desperate, blind hope that his best mate and girlfriend were alright, Ron closed his eyes and let Lucius continue to torture him with kisses and touches. Lucius didn't stop even after Ron didn’t kiss him back any longer, it gave Lucius a dark smile as if he perversely enjoyed it.  
  
He enjoyed Ron's silent plea to stop.  
  
Every so often Ron's eyes opened to chance a glance at the door, and Lucius always caught it, and each time the kisses became harsher, the touches more private, until Lucius touched him where only Hermione and Ron himself had touched him before.  
  
Ron's eyes went wide as he tried to back away from the hand that was touching his most private area. “Don't!” Ron rasped.  
  
Lucius chuckled.  
He followed Ron, his hand never leaving the boy. It was as if they were playing a game only one wanted to participate in. The pale-blond watched as the redhead stood from the sofa and tried to run away from him.  
  
Lucius remained seated, his eyes nailed on the boy as he tried to make a run for the door, their cold silver depths shimmering with delight as panic began to rise inside the other boy’s eyes and features. More and more the redhead looked like a small, scared prey, while Lucius was the predator. Just as silent as a snake Lucius stood and went over to Ron who jumped when Lucius took hold of his wand. “Enough of that.” Lucius hissed and watched, amused, as Ron's face went white.  
  
“Give me back my wand!” Ron yelled, braver than he felt. Lucius just chuckled. Anger risen inside him, Ron punched the blond, hearing the satisfying break of his nose and the pain in his knuckles.  
  
Looking furious, Lucius flicked his wrist, and Ron found his hands bound together by a tight, green rope.  
  
“I will give you back the wand once you’ve been a good boy and told me who your friends were that tried to surpass my wards?” Lucius healed his broken nose and pushed Ron back onto the sofa.  
  
“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.” Ron grumbled, while his guts clenched together.  
  
“I believe you do, Weasley,” Lucius smirked. “But rest assured, I will have fun with you in the meantime.” Ron flinched away from Lucius’ hands as they began to continue exploring his body, helpless to stop him with his hands bound together and his wand inside his enemy’s pocket. Could things get any worse he thought as Lucius opened Ron's robe.  
  
Harry and Hermione were seated between Regulus and Severus on a small, brown sofa. Severus took out his wand and slowed down the bleeding.  
The cut still traveled higher and it was as ever tremendously painful, but at least Harry wasn’t losing gallons of blood anymore. He dazedly doubted he even had gallons of blood left to lose.  
  
Regulus pointed his wand in Harry's direction, looking the opposite of pleased with having the two there.  
  
“You need to help him.” Hermione begged, seeing Harry’s already pale face. He had lost too much blood, he was half laying on the sofa one step from death.  
  
“I know that spell, only problem is,” Severus began. “How did you come to get it?”  
  
“We’ll tell you everything, after you’ve healed him.”  
  
“Now.” Regulus said.  
  
“Or we let the spell do what it's supposed to do.” Severus continued. Regulus paled slightly. Surprisingly, it seemed he didn’t like the idea of watching someone die, despite wanting to become a death eater.  
  
“He can barely speak,” Hermione cried. “Please!”  
  
“Then you should do the talking, and I advise you to hurry up,” Severus said. “He will still need blood and of course his cut closed or…..” he trailed off and Hermione looked at her pale friend, taking his blood smeared hand into her own.  
  
“There is something in the Malfoy manor that we need.”  
  
“Stealing and trying to give woman a heart attack,” Regulus muttered “So that's what he is, a common thief.”  
  
“He is not a thief!” Hermione glared at the boy. “We both aren't, besides who did he give a heart attack?”  
  
“Go on Harry,” Regulus waved at him. “Tell them what you sent my mother, or have you already forgotten?”  
  
Harry paled even more. He had indeed forgotten about it. “I suppose,” he choked out. “She didn't like that.”  
  
Regulus laughed darkly. “Didn't like it? She destroyed half the house,” he shook his head angrily. “Not to mention punished Kreacher for giving her the letter.”  
  
“Sorry.” Harry lowered his head.  
He hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt because of his actions or recklessness: not Kreacher and not Ron. But whatever he did he always got other people hurt. Maybe it would just be better to not stop the curse and let the cut travel higher. It would be better for everyone around.  
  
“Don't!” Hermione whispered harshly into his ear. Regulus looked suspiciously at the two but he couldn't hear them. “It’s not your fault. Whatever you sent her she deserved it after the howler she sent Sirius.” she looked deeply into Harry's eyes, and he gave her a shaky smile before closing them.  
  
“What were you trying to steal? If you haven't noticed you are running out of time.” Severus said, silencing them all.  
  
“A diary.” Harry whispered, he opened his eyes slightly, watching grey eyes which resembled Sirius’, just darker, making them seem almost black.  
  
“A diary is more important than your life?” Regulus sneered.  
  
“I spelled the wards off.” Hermione offered.  
  
“Foolish girl, have you ever thought that there might be different kinds of wards? The Malfoy manor has dark magic blood wards. You can't just spell them off.” Hermione opened and closed her mouth repeatedly but Severus didn't even give her time to say something as he turned to Harry. “Why is the diary so important?”  
  
“Horcrux.” Harry said, and both boys gasped.  
Too tired to keep his eyes open any longer he closed them again. The pain he had felt was now almost bearable, as if his body was too exhausted to feel. He felt Hermione shaking him and he tightened his hand around hers to let her know he was fine.  
  
“It belongs to a man named Tom Marvolo Riddle, also known as Voldemort.” Regulus looked quickly around and Severus hissed at Hermione to not say his name.  
  
“Are you saying that the dark lord is a halfblood or a mudblood?” Severus asked, ignoring Hermione’s scowl and angry eyes.  
  
“He is a halfblood, yes - have you never wondered why he goes by a different name when surely a pure blood would take his family name?”  
  
“It did cross my mind,” Severus said. “Doesn't mean that what you say is the truth.”  
  
“Severus,” Hermione took a deep breath. She held it for a moment, then said, “We are from the future.”  
  
“And I am from a land that doesn't believe in fairytales.” Severus mocked with his dark voice.  
  
“It's the truth!” Hermione cried, as she looked at the cut that already reached her friend’s shoulder. A little bit more and it would split his neck.  
  
“Of course it is Granger, if that is even your real name. Let me guess, you destroyed the dark lord as well in your time?” Regulus laughed along with Snape.  
  
“Look at his eyes and tell me you don't recognize them!” Hermione yelled.  
  
Snape regarded both with distaste.  
Was this a cruel joke? A prank? He knew boys who would have fun to prank him. He looked at the seemingly sleeping boy. Snape knew the eyes of the boy without having to see them; the green eyes still haunted his dreams. Still, the boy was dating the most dangerous of all four marauders after all. Maybe the devil had finally convinced Harry to their side. “Out of my house.” he sneered.  
  
“Pensive.” Harry said through gritted teeth, his head resting on the sofa and his eyes remaining closed.  
  
“Right! Do you have a pensive?” Hermione asked hopefully.  
  
“No, I do not, Granger.” He sneered.  
  
“Legilimens?” Harry whispered.  
  
That had the sneer fade a little, as Severus looked at the boy, curious now, and wondering if it was worth playing along.  
“I have a fair grasp of it,” he said, finally. “Open your eyes.”  
  
“Look in to my mind,” Hermione yelled. “He is too tired, please! He can't go on any longer!”  
  
Snape ignored her.  
“Look at me.” He said again, and dull green eyes rose slowly to meet onyx ones. It reminded Harry of the last time he really looked into Snape's eyes. The memory flooded his mind and in his dying state he barely noticed the other person in his mind looking through his memories.  
  
Harry was remembering Snape dying, with his last wish to look into his eyes, but then quickly he was thrown out of that memory and he saw his childhood.  
  
“Wake up!” his aunt yelled, followed by her banging against his cupboard.  
As soon as he got up and got out he was pushed into the wall by his fat cousin Dudley, who cried that he had been pushed by Harry.  
  
“I did not.” Harry tried to protest, but was silenced by Vernon who hit the back of his head with a newspaper.  
  
“Ungrateful brat, we take you in, give you food, clothing and a place to sleep, and this is the thanks we get!” Vernon yelled, his whale like face turning an ugly shade of purple. “You should have died along with your parents!” It was nothing new, it was Vernon’s favourite thing to say. Still, it wounded Harry every time.  
  
Harry felt a push of a different kind, as he was dragged to another memory.  
  
Harry saw his first day at Hogwarts, where he met Ron and Hermione. The sorting hat that had wanted him in Slytherin and him wanting to be in Gryffindor. The first time he saw Snape and his scar hurt, the first lesson with Snape, Snape mocking him and asking him questions he didn't know the answer to.  
  
Another pull and Harry dazedly realized the person pulling him outside his memories was the one who asked him to look into his eyes; Harry showed him what he wanted to see.  
  
Harry looked inside a mirror seeing a man and a red haired woman staring back. Harry trying to reach out to them, his parents, only getting a sad smile from his mother in return.  
  
Sirius and Remus in the shrieking shack, telling him about his parents and Sirius asking him to move in. Harry searched for another memory not wanting Snape to know about the betrayal of Wormtail.  
  
Harry going to Grimmauld Place and meeting Sirius. Harry destroying a Horcrux. He showed Snape the final battle between Voldemort and himself. The castle in ruin and too much death for him to handle: Tonks, Remus and Fred and so many more.  
  
Harry saw himself standing inside a room, ignoring everyone around him. Ginny trying to talk to him, but he stayed silent. All he could think of was the ones he wasn't able to save. His mind racing with possible ways he could have saved them. Hermione trying to make him laugh, Ron trying to feed him food, but Harry stayed still, like a statue, giving no emotions whatsoever.  
  
Harry was sat down on the sofa by Andromeda and was handed his godson. The smile of Teddy lit up his universe. “I wish I could have done something to save your parents,” he whispered as the whole room became silent. “They were one of the greatest people I knew,” Teddy reached out with his little fingers, trying to grab Harry's glasses. “I promise, you will have a happy childhood. Unlike me, you will have a childhood full of love, and I will make sure you always know that you are loved, by your parents, your grandma and by me. You are loved Teddy.” he lowered his head and gave his godson a kiss on the forehead.  
  
Harry standing in front of the time turner and cursing it in anger and disappointment. Harry meeting his parents for the first time in flesh, not as ghost and not in a mirror but really them.  
  
Harry couldn't control the memories anymore, neither did he want to, in his dying state the one he wanted to see the most was Sirius. Sirius kissing him against the wall, Sirius apologizing to him, Sirius and him battling a basilisk, Padfoot licking his face, Sirius saying I love you. Harry saying it back.  
  
His parents hugging him, his mother singing, his father saying he was proud.  
  
More and more memories came flooding his mind and he felt lighter as if the weight of Severus in his mind was gone. Dying had never felt so peaceful, in fact, he didn't want it to end. His head felt feather light, as he floated from memory to memory. Seeing all the people again he had loved, and experiencing for the last time their best moments together.  
  
“Quick!” Severus said. “He needs blood!” Regulus jumped up, and Hermione cried over the body of her friend that seemed lifeless. Severus took out his wand and spelled the cuts shut. Regulus came back with a red vial and poured it down Harry's throat.  
  
“Is it true what they said?” Regulus asked, and Severus nodded.  
  
This couldn't be a prank.  
  
No matter how good the marauders were, not even they could manipulate the feelings of a memory. No, those feelings were Harry’s. The pain was Harry’s, and he had felt everything as he watched Harry’s memories.  
  
“Let him sleep,” Severus said, and lifted Harry with his wand and moved him to his bedroom. “Hermione you should rest as well.”  
  
“I need to go to the mansion.” Hermione said.  
  
“There is no way inside, without Lucius knowing,” Regulus said. “The wards at Malfoy manor are almost as good as our wards.”  
  
“But Ron -” Hermione said, as she was pushed inside the bedroom by Severus.  
  
She lay next to Harry, who looked like a corpse instead of a sleeping boy. The colour on his cheeks were gone and the scar that had been left by the curse went from his middle finger to the start of his neck. Hermione stroked his hair away from his face, thinking about Ron, and trying to figure out a way to help him out of the mansion.  
  
She had never felt more helpless. She couldn't do anything for either of the boys she loved. She prayed to God and Merlin and everyone listening that Ron was alright.  
  
Meanwhile, Ron was being ripped off his clothing by a smirking Lucius. “Tell me what I want to know.” he whispered into Ron's ear, making the boy shiver.  
  
“Your breath stinks.” Ron said.  
  
Lucius regarded the boy, his upper lip twitching in distaste as he grabbed the boy by his chin and asked him to repeat that. Just as Ron opened his mouth Lucius slapped him across his cheek leaving a red angry mark behind. “Let's try that again,” Lucius whispered. “Who tried to break into my wards?”  
  
Ron shrugged, not trusting his voice. He didn't want Lucius to know how scared he was of what he might do; didn’t want to risk betraying his friends. He kept his mouth shut as if it was hexed together.  
  
Lucius smirked as he himself got out of his robes, showing Ron his naked chest and his pink nipples. Ron shuddered, his eyes on his tied hands, refusing to look at the blond boy in front of him.  
  
“Look at me.” The man whispered, but Ron's eyes stayed fixated where they were. He wouldn't give in.  
  
A wand raised his chin up and Ron closed his eyes. The same wand now sliced into his skin like a knife. Unable to hold his screams, Ron thrashed around.  
  
Once the torture stopped, Ron took a look at his chest, blood poured out of the cuts now slashed across it, and Ron made out the word ‘Malfoy’s’. Ron winced, feeling like property. All of a sudden the words ‘Property of Sirius Black’, came to his mind and he hated it. Hated that Sirius claimed his best friend as if he was an object, hated that Ron himself was turned into an object. With his hands tied, he tried to punch Lucius, but the blond dodged it at the last moment.  
  
“Finally fighting back,” he mocked. Ron looked to the door and Lucius gave him a cruel laugh. “The only way out is to tell me what I want to know.”  
  
“You suck.” Ron replied angrily.  
  
“Wrong: the one who sucks, will be you.” Ron paled, as Lucius opened his pants to free his already hardened manhood.  
  
Lucius forced Ron's mouth open with his fingers, digging them into his cheeks. Unable to close his mouth, Ron kicked and swayed his hands in horror, his eyes turning pleading, begging him to stop. Lucius only smiled, satisfied, as he lowered Ron's head.  
  
Ron kicked and punched until he found his target, and watched in triumph as Lucius let go of him and bowed down in pain, clutching his sensitive and still erect private area.  
  
Ron bolted, lunging for his wand in Lucius’ robe pocket, but the blond, gritting his teeth against the pain, moved quicker, and the redhead found himself petrified.  
  
Lucius took his time to open Ron's pants and underwear. “Now look what you made me do,” Lucius shook his head. “This really wasn't how I imagined our first time.” he said, while Ron, unable to move, cried and yelled within the confines of his mind, realizing with a deep gut-tearing horror, he was now a literal object, a doll for Lucius to play with.  
  
The Malfoy heir touched his own erection and then forcefully inserted it in Ron's backdoor, without lube or preparation, or any warning.  
  
Everything went black for Ron, pain exploding through his body. If he had been able to scream he knew it would have filled the whole mansion with it.  
  
“So tight.” Lucius purred, as he bit down on Ron’s neck. Ron just hoped it would be over soon. Lucius pulled out and Ron thanked Merlin that it had ended so quickly – but it turned out Lucius simply had other plans.  
  
He spelled Ron to another position, forcing him onto his knees and hands like a dog, steel cuffs appearing around his wrists and ankles, chaining him to the floor.  
“Now be a good boy.” Lucius bit into his right ear and Ron found himself able to move again.  
  
He immediately thrashed against the cuffs, but they held him on the spot tightly. Despairing, he had no idea which was worse, being petrified or being chained, but quickly decided it was the latter, when he found himself filled with Lucius’ erection again, and the sadistic blond now able to hear his cries and his screams.  
  
Though filled, Ron had never felt so empty.  
  
Every move he made to push Lucius off him, the louder the man above him moaned. Ron screamed for him to stop, but it only seemed to turn the death eater on more and more, as each thrust came harder than the one before it.  
  
Ron stopped.  
  
He stopped fighting, stopped screaming, but he couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face.  
  
Lucius touched his limp manhood, twisting and rubbing it until it was hard, much to Ron's horror.  
“Knew you loved it.” Lucius whispered, and Ron shook his head no.  
He hated it, hated his body for betraying him. The movement of Lucius’ hands kept up the same rhythm of his thrusts. Ron stayed still, despite wanting to swat Lucius’ hand away, wanting to kill the man above him.  
  
Suddenly Ron felt pleasure run through his body as Lucius rubbed against something inside him; it made him see pleasure through all the pain, and he gave a small cut-off moan.  
“That's right, moan for me.” Lucius tightened his hold on Ron's erection, while Ron bit down on his own lips to keep himself from making any further traitorous noises.  
  
He had never hated himself more. He didn't like this, he didn't understand how his body, his own body, had betrayed him like this.  
  
Another thrust from Lucius’ hand and Ron came all over it and the floor. Ron cried, closing his eyes, and he heard Lucius’ moans becoming louder, his body being violently rocked forward, almost sending his face into the floor, as the blond’s thrusts came harder and faster.  
  
Lucius grabbed him by the neck, choking him as he gave Ron a few more agonizingly slow thrusts, until he suddenly stopped. It seemed to take hours until he finally pulled out. The chains disappeared and Ron collapsed and curled into a little ball. Lucius picked up their clothing, took out his wand and spelled the door open. “Go clean yourself.” Was all he said, as he left the crying boy on his own.  
  
Ron winced as he stood up.  
His backside hurt and every step he took shot pain up his body. After opening countless doors, he found the study room, where supposedly the horcrux was hidden.  
  
He felt no joy in having found it.  
  
He felt no pressure to go search for it either; on the contrary, with heavy eyes he closed the door and kept on searching for the bathroom. Two doors further down from the study room he finally found it. He locked the door immediately. He knew if Lucius wanted to come, he could easily spell the door open, but it gave him a little sense of safety.  
  
He looked at the big mirror he found there, taking in his naked self.  
Never before had he felt so ugly. His red hair wet from sweat, his neck covered in a bruise, a dark, painful shadow of Lucius’ hand. His face tear-stained and his eyes blood red. ‘Malfoy’s’ written on his chest.  
  
He punched the mirror until it shattered and his knuckles bled. He didn't care for the pain. A small sharp mirror piece caught his attention. It would be so easy to just take it and let it slip over his wrist, over his neck that was taunting him.  
  
But what would Hermione think.  
  
Was she even alive?  
  
Crying, he stepped inside the shower, turning the water boiling hot to rid his body of any trace of Lucius. He had never felt so dirty. He needed to be clean, for his girlfriend.  
  
As he scrubbed his skin with his fingernails he could only hope she and Harry found a way to cancel the spell of the wards. That they were alive. He could only hope. He had to hope - the temptation of those mirror shards were too near for him to do otherwise.  
  
The water burning on his skin left him feeling a little better. He was still dirty, but he needed to get out of here. For Hermione, for Harry. But he didn't know how. He looked right into the shower head, mixing the hot burning water with his tears.  
  
Feeling utterly lost, he lay down on the cold marble floor, crying himself to sleep.  
  
The next day he stayed still, hoping if he made barely any noise, the blond wouldn't come for him.  
  
It was the growling of his stomach that had him moving. He sat up, took a mirror piece and looked himself in the eyes.  
“You are no coward, Ronald Weasley.” he told himself.  
Ron shivered as memories of last night came back to him, and he dropped the mirror piece and lay back on the floor, hugging himself, trying to give himself comfort and safety. But he was wandless and naked. He was alone.  
  
He heard footsteps coming nearer, and he stiffened.  
He quickly jumped up and went hiding behind the curtain shower. ‘I am strong, I am the king, but I’m not Harry.’  
Harry, he knew, would have cursed Lucius with all his might, instead of covering behind a see-through shower curtain. But he was not Harry. Harry was strong, he was powerful and fearless. Harry walked to his death to save them all.  
  
Biting his hand, he tried to stifle his crying. He was nothing but a coward, who could do nothing but hide and run away.  
  
He couldn't even run away to help his girlfriend. Could Harry help her? What if Harry was injured as well? His mind full of what-ifs, he closed his eyes.  
  
Hermione sat on the bed, her thoughts all on a red-haired boy while wiping the sweat off of Harry's forehead. The boy hadn't moved or made any noise since he had been laid down by Severus. If it wasn't for the falling and rising of his chest, Hermione would have presumed him to be dead.  
  
The walls were thin, letting her eavesdrop on the argument Regulus and Severus were having in the living room.  
  
“A Horcrux!” Regulus was almost yelling. “No one would do that to his own soul!”  
  
“Certainly people have done it and will do it again,” Severus countered. “I saw them all die.” he whispered and Regulus fell silent. “He showed me unintentionally. I don’t think he knows he showed me.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew, Black, they were all dead. Every time he thought about someone their death flashed right before his eyes. When he thought about Potter and Lily I heard their death. It was black, I could only hear her scream”  
  
“Sirius dies?” Regulus voice was barely a whisper. “How?”  
  
“He fell in some sort of veil.”  
  
Hermione tried to tune them out.  
  
She couldn't stand being reminded of all the death, but their voices echoed through the room as if they were seated beside her.  
  
“Please wake up soon,” she whispered to Harry. “I don’t know what to do.” she confessed.  
  
The next day, Ron was determined. He had do to something. He had to at least try something. Anything. After he heard Lucius ordering dinner from Dobby, he left the bathroom that had given him the feeling of safety for the last 24 hours. “Lucius.” he purred, and had to cough as the voice stuck in his throat.  
  
The blond stood in the dining room leaning against the table. The table looked as long as the ones at Hogwarts. “Ronald,” Lucius greeted back, looking at him with suspicion in his eyes. “Hope you had a pleasant day, yesterday.” he smiled.  
  
“Absolutely,” Ron smiled back “I missed you.” he said unclenching his fist. Do it for Hermione he thought, as he walked towards Lucius. Do it for Harry, he took another step until he stood in front of the man that will forever haunt his dreams, displaying his naked self in front of him.  
  
“Did you now? Seeing how you were yesterday I would have expected the opposite.”  
  
Ron shook his head “You opened my eyes, pain is exactly what I had been missing in my life.” Ron said, as he thought of Hermione smiling at him. “I’m fine. I can't explain it…I feel free.” he placed his hands on Lucius chest opening the buttons of his robe.  
  
When he touched Lucius nipple, he again reminded himself why he was doing this before he lowered his head and took it in his mouth, kissing and licking it. He closed his eyes, imagining Hermione instead of Lucius.  
  
“How about some dinner first?” Lucius said, before kissing him, his eyes dark, and Ron nodded quickly, a little bit relieved he hadn't had to do anything just yet. “Dobby!” The house elf appeared. “Prepare another plate for our guest.” with another nod, the house elf was gone.  
  
Lucius guided Ron to a chair and seated himself next to him, his hands traveling up and down Ron's chest. Once again he felt himself hardened from the way he was touched by the blond. “Beautiful,” Lucius whispered, while kissing his ear and Ron moaned. As soon as it escaped him he bit his lip. “Let it out, I want to hear you.” the blond said, licking and sucking at his ear, making Ron squirm.  
  
“Please.” Ron begged, his erection throbbing with want and he closed his eyes. He hated himself for begging for the touch of the man who had raped him.  
  
“This is what I call,” the man whispered seductively. “Denying.” he chuckled, and his hand and mouth left Ron’s body.  
  
Ron felt humiliated and guilty. He felt as if he had just cheated on Hermione. The food appeared on the table and Ron's mouth began to water. Just as he put a mouthful of mashed potatoes in his mouth a hand touched his erection. Ron gasped the mashed potatoes almost falling from his mouth. Every time he put the spoon to his mouth Lucius would stroke him, but if he tried to eat faster or not at all Lucius would harden his grip, making it too painful to bear.  
  
“Dessert?” Lucius asked and Ron tried to give him a seducing smile.  
  
“Only if the dessert is a handsome blond bloke.” Ron said.  
  
Lucius moaned, standing up, and Ron gulped, able to make out the tent in the blond’s pants. He heard a zipper being dragged down, but he tried to look at Lucius’ feet rather than his erection. Lucius placed his hands on Ron's head pushing him near. Eyes closed, Ron complied, using all his strength not to do anything reckless or stupid. Like biting the damn thing off.  
  
He imagined a lollipop, wishing he had a way to turn off Lucius’ moaning, and get rid of the taste of skin. He was pulled off of Lucius’ hard cock roughly by his hair and Lucius forced him to stand up. The next second Ron was slammed chest first onto the table, his behind sticking up in the air  
  
Lucius didn't prepare him, Ron didn't think he would, but at least Lucius didn't use any chains or ties this time. Lucius’ thrusts became quicker, but Ron couldn't have it end so fast, he needed Lucius tired. “Can we continue in your room?” he asked.  
  
Lucius stopped and turned Ron's head using his wand on Ron’s chin. “Why?” He asked angrily.  
  
“More comfortable.”  
  
“I thought you liked pain.” Lucius smirked.  
  
“I do, doesn't mean I like the edge of the table.” Ron whispered.  
  
“If that's what you want, Love.” Lucius whispered into his ear and apparated them both away into his bedroom.  
  
The bedroom was almost the size of his parents’ house; the bed alone was three times the size of his. Ron was thrown onto it, and he closed his eyes, letting Lucius do whatever he wanted to with him, as if he was a life-sized doll. He didn't shudder at Lucius’ touch on his own erection. He didn't cry when Lucius dug his fingernails into his flesh. He didn't scream as Lucius whipped him with a spell.  
  
He didn't know if he ever could look or touch Hermione again after this.  
  
The man above him pulled Ron’s hair back as he screamed in pleasure, forcing Ron to arch his back even more, twisting his neck in an uncomfortable angle. After what seemed eternity to the redhead, Lucius finally pulled out. “That was delicious.” Lucius said as he laid down next to Ron. He forced Ron to look at him, before dragging him into a harsh kiss.  
  
As their lips separated, Ron yawned and closed his eyes. He waited, until he heard no more movement, and Lucius’ breath evened out and slowed down to the steady rhythm of sleep, before he dared reopened his eyes.  
  
Lucius slept silently on as Ron stood up slowly. Walking towards a desk, he saw his clothes, and hastily put them back on. He felt somewhat safer now that he wasn't butt naked, it gave him comfort and security, at least a little. He chanced a glance and saw the other boy still sleeping. Hastily he searched for his wand.  
  
“Is this what you are looking for?” a voice called behind him. Ron turned around slowly. Lucius was standing there, throwing his wand in the air and catching it again, taunting Ron.  
  
Ron couldn't help it: he threw himself at Lucius whose eyes went wide. The redhead punched the blond, who, shocked, didn't even try to punch back, the wand thrown aside.  
  
“I hate you!” Ron yelled, as he threw another punch. Lucius coughed blood, watching Ron in horror.  
  
“Stop acting like a filthy muggle!” he cried, as he pushed Ron off of him, wiping the blood from his face.  
  
Ron's breathing filled the whole room. “A muggle is a thousand times better than you are.” Ron spat, watching with a smile as Lucius’ eyes flashed angrily.  
  
Both men's eyes flew to the wand, and in an instant Ron threw himself at it, grabbing it and pointing it at Lucius. “Now, Ronald, we don't want to do anything we might later regret,” Lucius whispered, his hand tight on his own wand. Before Ron could open his mouth Lucius already yelled a spell, and Ron found himself thrown into the wall. “Maybe you should have taken my wand away beforehand.” Lucius said.  
  
Standing on shaking legs Ron pointed his wand at Lucius and voicelessly spelled him upside down in the air, wanting nothing more than to use Lucius as his personal punching bag, but he decided that letting him fall down would be more satisfying to watch. Hair ruffled, Lucius stood angrily, blood flowing out of his nose. “You will regret this.” Lucius said, and Ron puffed out his chest challenging Lucius to bring it on.  
  
“You will regret what you did to me.” Ron yelled, and with a spell, he abruptly threw Lucius to his bed, tying him to it. Adding insult to the injury, he used Gryffindor colours for the ropes.  
  
He grabbed the blond’s wand and broke it in two. Lucius’ face fell, the smile plunging from it as he watched the two pieces, mourning his loss before his eyes flashed angrily at Ron.  
  
Ron pulled his socks off and forced it into Lucius’ right hand before telling him to call Dobby. Lucius only laughed in reply. “You actually believe I will do what you want me to do?”  
  
“Have it your way,” Ron said, as he threw another punch at the blond. “I’m sure the wards will fall after you die.” Ron whispered darkly, he pointed his wand right above the blond’s heart.  
  
“Dobby!” Lucius yelled.  
  
“The spell can leave my mouth quicker than any order you want to give him!” Ron warned, and Lucius nodded.  
  
With a pop, Dobby appeared, his tennis-ball eyes almost falling out of his head. “M-Master?”  
  
“Give him the sock and set him free.” Ron growled and just as Lucius opened his mouth Ron dug his wand even harder into Lucius chest. “Avada -” he said as Lucius yelled for Dobby to take the damn sock.  
  
Dobby didn't hesitate one second, happily he went near Lucius who opened his hand and gave it to a crying Dobby. “I am free.” he cried even louder. Ron took his other sock and stuffed it inside Lucius mouth.  
  
“Thank you mystery man. Dobby can never thank you enough. If there is anything I can do for you -” Dobby asked.  
  
“Yeah, you can get me out of here, Dobby, but not now. There is something I need before we leave.” Dobby nodded, and followed Ron out of the room, leaving behind a fuming Lucius.  
  
“Where is it?” Ron asked himself, as he searched the library for the diary.  
  
“If you would tell me what we are looking for, Dobby could help.” Ron looked at the house elf, who carried his old sock around as if it was an award.  
  
  
Suddenly Ron realized something. “Dobby!” he yelled. “Do you know the two people who wanted to break into the manor?” Dobby nodded uncertainly.  
  
“Girl with a lot of hair is fine, boy with a lot of scars not so much.” Ron paled.  
  
“Harry will be fine, he always is.” he tried to reassure himself, as he kept on searching for the horcrux. “Accio Tom Riddle’s Horcrux.” Nothing happened, and Ron shrugged, not really expecting it to. In hadn’t back in the days of their first horcrux hunt. “Worth a try.” he mumbled. Dobby walked to the table, pointing at the floor. When Ron didn't take notice of him, he jumped up and down until the redhead did.  
  
Seeing where he was pointing, Ron ran to the spot. He could make out a barely perceptible door. Behind that door he just knew would be all the dark artifacts. He opened it slowly, afraid of what waited beneath it. When no protective curse hit him, he just as slowing walked down the stairs that awaited him beneath the door.  
  
At their end was a small, dark room.  
“Lumos” he whispered, and looked around. The pinprick of light did little to alleviate the dark inside. He passed skulls, hearts, a black cane, a clock, before he saw a familiar looking black book displayed on a large shelf. Cautiously, he moved towards the book, afraid of touching anything else. As soon as he grabbed it, he ran back up the stairs. Just as he appeared out of the trapdoor, the diary was snatched out of his hand.  
  
“Really Ronald, stealing?” Ron felt sweat roll down his back as he looked into cold blue eyes. Lucius took a step back, he raised the diary and held it up in the air, shaking it, mocking Ron for getting caught, for failing.  
He smirked as he put the diary safely inside his inner robe pocket. “You are gonna pay for my wand,” he said in a deathly whisper. “But I am a wizard, I don't need a wand to make you suffer - as we both saw yesterday.” Ron stiffened.  
  
Ron stared open-mouthed at the man who was smirking, yet his eyes promised suffering and death. “You know what I do to bad dogs?” Lucius asked, and Ron took a step back. “Crucio.” he whispered almost lazily, Ron dropped to the floor, screaming his voice raw until the spell was lifted.  
  
“That's the beauty of dark magic,” the blond took a step forward. “You have to mean it, you have to want it. Can you feel how much I want it, Ronald?”  
  
Ron pointed his wand at the blond, crying “Crucio.” Lucius stepped aside easily, laughing tauntingly. Ron cut it short, yelling “Reducto!” and Lucius was thrown against his bookshelf, a few books falling down on him.  
  
Ron stood up, his muscles aching, with the wand pointed at Lucius’ heart, he whispered the curse and watched, satisfied, as the red spell made Lucius cry out in agony. It barely lasted for a second, but the shock in blue eyes was worth it.  
  
After a beat, Lucius smirked, singing “I can feel that you don't want it, Ronald.”  
  
Ron quickly jumped away as a green spell was thrown at him. Lucius stood quickly and hastily made his way to Ron.  
  
“Expelliarmus.” Ron cried.  
  
“Expelliarmus? Have you forgotten, I don't have a wand!? Avada Kedavra!” Ron dodged the spell and dived into the trapdoor. With his wand, he lifted the cane and threw it at Lucius. The dark artifact entwined itself around Lucius right leg and Ron with horror heard bone break, along with the agonizing scream of Lucius who fell down to the floor, too lost in pain to say the incarnation. Maybe he wasn't able to, maybe he needed his wand because he couldn't do every spell wandlessly.  
  
Ron took a step back, he could end Lucius’ life so easily from here, one spell, two words was all it would take…..yet he couldn't do it.  
“D-Dobby,” he stuttered. Someone grabbed his leg, and Ron tried to kick the offender when he saw Dobby looking up at him. “Can you take me to my friend with a lot of hair?”  
  
“Dobby can, sir.”  
  
Ron nodded, and quickly went to Lucius, who was still screaming and didn't even take any notice of Ron until he took the diary out of the blond’s robe. Lucius grabbed his arm. “I.” The blonde panted. “Kill.” Struggling to even talk. “You.” Lucius fell unconscious.  
  
Ron forced his arm free, his whole body shaking. He looked at Dobby and nodded, unable to speak, it felt like his throat had shut off.  
  
In a blink of an eye, Ron was in a different room, a room he didn't recognize. Raising his wand he looked around for Dobby who was standing right next to him. “Ron!” he whipped around, and was immediately hugged by two strong arms. Feeling tears against his neck, he gently rubbed the back of his girlfriend, before he remembered Dobby’s words.  
  
“How is he?” He croaked, shifting a little to get a better look of where they were. He saw a single bed, upon which Harry lay. Ron gulped. He looked awful, almost dead.  
  
“Better, he woke up an hour ago,” Hermione said into his neck. “How are you?”  
  
“Fine.” Ron said curtly. Unable to bear feeling trapped again, he pulled away from his girlfriend.  
  
“Harry! Ron’s back!” Hermione cried, and the sleeping boy opened his eyes slowly.  
  
“The wards -” Harry began.  
  
“I know,” Ron interrupted. “I’m glad you're okay.” Harry struggled to get up, and Ron watched worriedly as Harry took a few steps towards him.  
  
“So am I,” Harry said, as he tried to give Ron a hug. “Glad you're fine, that is.”  
  
Ron took a step back, flinching away from Harry’s touch. “Yep, I’m fine,” he said, avoiding the questions in his best friend’s eyes. “Where are we?”  
  
“Dobby?” Harry whispered, and Dobby nodded, unsure. “It's good to meet you, it's really good to see you.” Harry's voice shook, and Hermione clapped him on his back, all the while Ron leaned against the wall crossing his arms and looking around.  
  
“Sir thinks it's good to meet Dobby?” Dobby’s voice was filled with awe, as he looked at Harry, a man he would have come to admire.  
  
“How?” Harry asked Ron, his eyes never leaving Dobby, for which Ron was grateful.  
  
“Long story, I’ll tell you later. Where are we?” He repeated.  
  
“At Snape's.”  
  
Ron frowned.  
  
A black-magic loving Slytherin.  
  
“We should head back, the others are probably worried.”  
“Harry still needs to rest.” Hermione countered, as she shoved the boy back onto the bed.  
  
“I’m fine, Shaggy,” Harry stood again. “Let’s go home.” Ron nodded, and gave Harry the horcrux, not seeing the boy’s frown, nor Hermione’s worried expression.  
  
Hermione walked out of the door, followed by both boys, Harry stumbling a little, looking as if he would fall down, but Ron couldn't touch him, couldn't let Harry lean himself on him. Images of Lucius touching him came back, and Ron walked faster, leaving Harry behind.  
  
“Severus, we are leaving, thank you for all you have done.” Harry heard Hermione say, Ron stood at the entrance door seemingly lost in thought.  
  
“Thank you Sev, we will see you in Hogwarts,” Harry said. “You too Reg.”  
  
“You Gryffindors and your heartbreaking goodbyes.” Severus said, making Hermione and Harry smile. She had come to talk a bit more with her future potions professor while Harry slept, and knew he sometimes said things meaning the opposite.  
  
An angry growl from Ron made all four turn to him. “What he means is, he is gonna miss us too.” Hermione reassured Ron, while Severus snorted.  
  
“That's one way to interpret my words, Granger.” he said, giving Harry and Hermione a barely there smile; Regulus seemed lost in thought, remaining silent as he drank a cup of tea.  
  
Out of the door, Ron turned angrily to Harry who once again tried to reach out to him, groping for support. “I had no idea you had become friends with dark magic loving prats now.”  
  
“Those prats,” Hermione began. “Saved his life.” Ron sunk his head, he didn't know why he was angry. For a moment the thought entered his mind that if they had made it past the wards he would never have had to endure Lucius.  
  
He took another look at Harry and eyed the new scar. A scar that would forever remind him of what had happened. A scar connected to an event he would forever have nightmares about.  
  
Hermione took a step forward, placing an arm around Harry, who had stayed silent watching the ground, and tried to place an arm around Ron. “I can apparate alone.” Ron whispered, hating the words as soon as they left him. He watched guiltily as Hermione retreated her hand back as if burned, her sad eyes looking up at him.  
  
He wanted to be alone. He didn't want to be touched. He didn't want to be held.  
  
He didn't want to see pain in Hermione’s eyes either – but he had caused it. He scrunched his eyes up.  
  
With a pop, he apparated away and quickly went inside Harry’s grandparents’ house. Sirius came running towards him and Ron ran. He especially didn't want to be near any gay men. He locked himself into his room and took a step towards the showers. He needed to get rid of any trace of Lucius.  
  



	21. Sacrifices must be made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, sorry it took me so long to update, wont happen again. Like i said in some comments i had some personal problems, thats why i hadnt had found the time to finish writing this chapter. *begs for tour forgiveness* 
> 
> This was once again beta'd by my amazing friend.

Harry stood still, watching the spot where Ron had just been.  
He shifted his gaze to Hermione who looked equally stunned.  
He wanted to apologize to Ron, wanted to know what had happened, but he couldn't move to run, or rather apparate after him.  
“Let’s go home.” Hermione said, wearing the fakest smile he had ever seen. Harry, good at fake smiling himself, from years of pretending he was happy or fine, smiled back with a nod.  
  
He had no desire to go back. He had failed. He had yet again caused pain to those he loved. It might not have killed Ron this time but how many more times would his recklessness get the people closest to him hurt? Who would be next? His parents? Remus? Hermione? Or would he lose Sirius again?  
  
He swallowed his dark thoughts as Hermione apparated them away. He was numb, he didn't register the strong arms around him moments after they arrived. He didn't hear the worried words of his father asking if he was alright. How could he ever think that he could save anyone when the past years had offered him proof time and time again to show him otherwise? All his decisions seemed to lead to death and pain. How could he ever hope for a normal life with his parents by his side? He didn't deserve the love he was showered with.  
  
“Harry?” The boy who had embraced him whispered into his ear. “Everything okay?” Harry gave him a nod; his voice wasn't working.  
  
Ron was nowhere to be seen, instead there was his mother standing next to him with worry in her green eyes.  
“I’m fine.” Harry said, forcing happiness into his voice. ‘Happy to be back.”  
  
“We are happy you are back as well.” The soothing voice of his mother said, stroking his head and enveloping him into a hug the second Sirius let him go. Harry buried himself into the safe embrace of his mother. He felt safe in Sirius’s embrace but there was something singular, and special about his mother's warmth, something he hadn't even known he needed.  
  
“What happened to your arm?” He tensed up at James’ question, and Lily broke their hug to see his arm.   
  
“The wards,” Harry said shyly, avoiding everyone's eyes. “When did you get here mom?” He asked, hoping to get the attention off of him and his newly gained scar. He received a swat to his head.  
  
“If you hadn't gone missing for two days I wouldn't have to come here!” She grumbled. “I was going crazy alone, not knowing where you were or if you were fine.”  
  
“I told you where I was,” Harry said, rubbing his head. Lily grabbed his chin to make him look down into her eyes. “Sorry.” He sighed.  
  
“I know where you were going but I had no idea what happened, if you were taken or if you were hurt; maybe you guys moved or had a change of plans,” Harry had to look away. He couldn’t help but feel even more guilty for worrying his mother. “I am glad you are alright.” She continued in a soft voice, looking between him and Hermione who had stayed silently next to him through it all.  
  
Sirius pressed Harry back against his chest as James turned to Hermione, placing a hand on her shoulder and looking deeply into her eyes. “Are you alright?” She nodded, but was looking around. Before she could open her mouth James beat her to it. “He ran to his room.”  
  
“I’ll go talk to him.” She said to Harry, as he tried to break free from Sirius’s hold on him.  
  
“I’ll come with you,” Sirius held onto him even tighter, refusing to let him go again. “Sirius?” Harry mumbled against his chest.  
  
“Stay,” Hermione said as she walked away. “Talk to your family, I’ll check on him.”  
  
Remus, who had stood awkwardly next to them, suggested they go back inside. Sirius practically dragged Harry to the dinner table where his grandparents were drinking some tea. As soon as they saw him they smiled lovingly.  
  
“Did you enjoy your trip?” His grandmother asked, and Harry nodded “Oh dear, what happened?” Her eyes widening at his scar.  
  
“Nothing,” Harry tried his best to sound reassuring. “We had lots of fun, we forgot the time.” His grandfather whispered something to his wife and both excused themselves, though his grandma didn't really look convinced, or willing to drop the subject.  
  
“Harry,” his father called him and motioned him to sit. With an apologetic smile Sirius let go of Harry.  
Harry sat down on the chair and James took the opposite one from him, looking him over intently. “Are you okay?” A nod. “What happened?” A shrug.  
  
“You promised to tell us.” There was bitterness in Sirius voice that made Harry look at him.  
  
Sirius had a look in his eyes that made Harry uneasy, but he couldn't make out what the Black heir might be thinking. “You didn't get it?” Sirius whispered.  
  
Harry picked the book out of his pocket and slammed it on the table just as Remus returned with tea. There was a deafening silence as the group of people stared at the diary.  
  
He wanted to forget everything for awhile, wanted to drown in grey eyes instead of being reminded that those eyes were not yet safe. He could still lose everyone at this table. He looked at his mother next to his father, who stared worriedly at the book; he looked at Remus who was sipping his tea and at Sirius who reached out to grab the book.  
  
“That's it?” Remus questioned, and Harry nodded.  
  
“It doesn't look dangerous at all,” Sirius mused as he turned and inspected the book, which looked like an ordinary black diary. “Are you sure this is the one?”  
  
Harry snorted.  
“Yes.” He said, taking the book back and returning it safely to his pockets once again.  
  
“Want to destroy it?” James asked.  
  
Harry shook his head. “We’ll wait for Ron.”  
  
It was Ron who had stolen the book. Harry didn't know what had happened but he knew Ron was hurt. It was Ron's right to destroy the book. Harry would wait.  
  
“What happened?” Remus asked quietly. The only answer he got was another shrug.  
  
“Come on Harry!” Sirius gritted his teeth.  
  
“I don't know okay?!” Harry glared. “I wasn't there because I couldn't get past the wards!”  
  
“Tell us what happened to you?” James tried.  
  
“What is it that you want to know? That I failed? That I put my best friend in danger?” Angrily Harry stood up and Sirius quickly grabbed him by the wrist.  
  
“We talk, whether you want to or not. So sit back down.” Sirius stood as well hovering over Harry, who looked unimpressed up at him  
  
“You’re not my father, Sirius.” Harry pulled his arm away.  
  
“No, but I am,” James whispered, Harry's head snapped in his direction with a frown. “Why don't you tell us from the beginning what happened?”  
  
Harry refused to sit. Standing with his back against the table, out of reach from Sirius, he started to talk.  
“Hermione tried to spell the Wards off,” he said. “So I tried to test if it worked - turns out that black magic wards are different,” he chuckled darkly. “I touched the Wards with my finger and slowly it was cut open.”  
  
Harry didn't turn around to see their expression but he could practically feel the tension surrounding them.  
  
“That's not your fault.” Remus said.  
  
Harry shook his head.  
“I was reckless, I should have tested it another way, I should have known the Malfoys don’t use regular Wards; of course they would have dark magic or blood Wards.”  
  
“It's always easy to see what could have been done differently at the end.” Remus said, while sipping his tea, sounding like a teacher lecturing his student; he even had the grace to smile softly at Harry, as if Harry had told him that he hadn't done his homework rather than the fact he had almost died trying to break through powerful Wards.  
  
“Besides,” James added. “We are Gryffindors, of course we are reckless.” His smile didn't reach his eyes, which were full of worry, but Harry didn't even look at the two, his whole attention on the wall in front of him.  
  
“I can't afford to be reckless, dad,” Harry hung his head, fighting the urge to yell.  
They just didn't get it. “People die if I’m reckless”. An uncomfortable silence met his words, and no one said anything to break it, but he could practically hear the questions the four were keeping bottled up inside them. Tired, he was glad they stayed silent for now.  
  
“How did you get the cut to stop?” Sirius asked, and from the way he felt Remus and James perk up beside him, he wasn't the only one curious.  
  
Harry sighed, of course that had to be the first question.  
  
Harry shrugged, “I didn't stop it, Snape did.”  
  
He suddenly had Sirius in front of him, glaring at him, daring him to repeat the sentence, hoping he had misheard.  
“What?” Sirius seethed.  
  
“Snape did.” Harry repeated, and Sirius looked to James and Remus. Both staring at Harry with wide eyes.  
  
“Why didn't you come to us?” Sirius demanded. “You went to Snivellus but you didn't manage to come to us?! How do you even know where he lives?! Is that how much we mean to you?!”  
  
“Sirius!” Lily gasped, breaking her silence for the first time.  
  
“Would you have been able to stop it?” Harry answered his question with a question of his own. He was sure if this was a cartoon, steam would be coming out of Sirius’s ears with how furious he looked. Harry couldn't help but frown. Sure, he knew the Marauders loathed Snape, but was their hatred more important than his life?  
  
“That's beside the point.” Sirius yelled.  
  
“Padfoot, don't.” James warned.  
  
“Fuck off, Potter,” Sirius spat, he grabbed Harry by his shoulder, his hands shaking as if he wanted to smack some sense into the boy. “So you spent two days with Snape?!”  
  
“And Hermione and Regulus.” Harry added.  
  
“Nice to know you prefer my brother’s company more than mine.”  
  
“That's enough, Black!” Lily stood, but was ignored by both men.  
  
“So you'd rather have me dead than me being saved by the person you bully?” Harry asked, looking at Sirius, green eyes narrowed in anger.  
  
“That's not what I meant,” Sirius paled, and stumbled a few steps back. “But you could have come to us, we could have figured something out.”  
  
“There was no time to figure something out.” Harry said slowly, pointing to his neck where the cut had ended. Sirius stepped back until he hit the wall, looking at Harry as if he were a corpse, before making a quick exit from the room.  
  
Harry watched his retreating back with confusing emotions, but not just because of what Sirius had said.  
He was glad Sirius had distanced himself, people who stayed far away from him were safer. Yet he longed to be pulled against Sirius’s hard chest, and he was upset Sirius chose to walk away rather then stay with him, fight with him, hug him, or especially kiss him.  
  
The silence dragged on. He could hear the loud breathing of the three people behind him but he couldn't make himself turn around to look at them. Instead he watched the place where Sirius had stood. Was this their first fight as a couple? Why was Sirius so difficult? Would he really rather see him dead than be saved by his school enemy?  
  
“Harry,” his mother called, he looked over his shoulder to his parents and Remus. “We are glad you are okay.”  
  
“Snape, huh.” his father nodded, not looking angry or sad, but rather guilty.  
  
It hurt more than he ever imagined seeing his parents looking clueless and worried at him. He imagined how different his life could have been had they survived in his old life. He had a feeling they wouldn't have let him fight. He saw it in his mother's eyes that she didn't want him to go on another trip - but she couldn't stop him. No one could; this was his only chance to get what he always wanted.  
  
He needed to focus, and stop putting his family in danger. With that in mind he bid his parents and Remus good night, not caring that it wasn't even night yet - he needed to rest.  
  
He heard the knocking on his door and his mother's voice calling for him but he ignored it. He closed his eyes for awhile before a nightmare jerked him awake. This was different from his usual dreams, this time it was over Ron. Ron not meeting his eyes, begging for help, begging him to come and save him. Ron lying on a cold floor crying.  
  
He hastily went out of his room and ran to his best friends’ door needing to make sure Ron was there. Safe.  
  
Slowly he tried to open the door only to find it was locked but he could hear crying through it.  
‘What happened Ron? What did he do to you?’ He sat down on the floor leaning against the door, before he fell asleep. Neither Ron nor Hermione had come to his room last night.  
  
Despite the house being full of the people he loved he had never felt more alone.  
  
On the other side of the door, Ron tried to fall asleep but the memories haunted him. His whole body shaking, he felt wetness on his cheek, realizing he was crying again.  
  
He couldn't stomach to see Harry and Hermione. He had heard her knock on his door for hours begging to come in and talk to him, but he had ignored her. It had hurt him, but he couldn't face her right now. He couldn't let her see him this weak. A small part of his brain tried to tell him that it was alright, Hermione had seen him at his worst and best and had always stood by his side, but such reasoning was silenced by the memory of Lucius’s voice, and the touch of his body.  
  
He heard a small thud on his door and tried to stifle his crying. For a second he thought it was Lucius, before he scolded himself for being ridiculous. There was no way he could come here.  
  
He tried to stand up to see who it was but his body betrayed him once again as his hands seemed to move on their own, hiding his body beneath the blanket. Cowering into himself he felt angry at himself for being so pathetic.  
  
The next morning he took another hot shower, before he went down for some breakfast. No matter how much he wanted to hide away he knew he couldn't. He wasn't allowed to feel safe, it was their job to hunt Horcruxes and fight the dark. Which also meant fighting Lucius. He shivered and almost fled back into his room, if not for Harry's mother seeing him and greeting him happily.  
  
Ron wondered when she had arrived. He hadn't really seen anyone except Sirius since coming back.  
  
“Morning.” he greeted, sitting down at the table.  
Harry was nowhere in sight, while Hermione sat next to Lily, opposite from him. He could feel her gaze on him and he forced himself to lift his head and give her a smile.  
  
Though his stomach growled he couldn't eat much, his thoughts were far too occupied with Lucius and Horcruxes. If he was honest, he didn't want to go and search for the other ones. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be in a world where Lucius and Voldemort didn't exist.  
  
He wondered briefly how his life would have been if, all those years ago, he hadn't sat in the same train compartment as Harry - but he quickly vanished such thoughts. Harry was his brother. Any pain was worth enduring to know Harry. Harry was worth it all.  
  
But still, it didn't mean that they had to go and search for the Horcruxes (and risk meeting Lucius) right away. They could also make others do the dirty work - Harry wasn't a Horcrux anymore; he didn't actually need to face Voldemort. They could just tell Dumbledore all they now knew.  
  
“Can we talk later?” He asked Hermione, who immediately nodded, looking at him warily. Harry, who had just joined them, nodded as well. He looked tired, rubbing at his neck and yawning loudly, much like Hermione and himself he barely touched his plate full of food.  
  
Ron wondered what had happened between Sirius and Harry. Harry, instead of sitting next to him chose to sit in-between his father and Remus, even though Sirius, like always, had a seat next to him empty. It was sort of weird seeing Harry not sitting next to Sirius, but he was inwardly glad. He didn't know if he could watch Sirius showering Harry with affection. Touching or hugging him. Still, Sirius shot Harry worried glances now and then, looking guilty and miserable. As miserable as the Black heir could look.  
  
Ron had long come to terms with the fact that the Black heir never looked bad; even tired, while normal people looked like a bunch of trolls, he still appeared annoyingly attractive. There was an exception to this rule, of course, back in their time, when the Black heir had escaped Azkaban, but after 12 years of keeping company with dementors, who could blame him?  
  
“I've been thinking,” Ron began, as the trio sat in Harry's bedroom. “We should probably take a break.”  
  
“A break?” Harry repeated, cocking his head to the side as if the word itself was a mystery to him.  
  
“Yes, let someone else do the fighting.”  
  
“Someone else.” Again Harry looked confused at Ron, though now some sadness had crept into the frown.  
  
“Yes,” Ron felt himself turning red out of anger. Why was Harry pretending to be so stupid? “We don't actually have to fight this time, so why are we?”  
  
“Ron? Is everything okay?” His girlfriend asked sweetly, in a voice she rarely used, and only when she was really worried or wanted to make Ron understand how much he meant to her.  
  
He ignored her and instead chose to angrily glare at Harry who flinched back a bit, appearing even more confused, which only fuelled Ron’s anger further. Why were they being so ignorant? Was playing hero that much more important than their own safety? They weren't even Aurors. They should just report what they knew and let the others do their job.  
  
“Of course you don't,” Harry said instead, looking between Hermione and Ron. “This is my fight.”  
  
“This is our fight! Voldemort took people who were dear to us as well, and we also helped fight him, Harry!” Hermione yelled.  
  
“I know that,” Harry stood and started pacing. “I fucking know that!” He glared at Hermione and continued his small rant before either Ron or Hermione had the chance to realize he had just cursed. “But if you chose to not fight I won't hold it against you.” he said, while running his fingers through his hair.  
  
“Let Dumbledore know the whole truth and get him to fight with the Order.” Ron said lazily, as if he hadn't practiced how to say it in his mind the last hour.  
  
“No. No more people will die because of me,” Harry shook his head stubbornly. “Not Dumbledore, not my family, not your family, not anyone innocent.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest giving Ron a challenging look.  
  
Ron felt his body shake with fury, boiling to a point out of his control, and he knew the moment he opened his mouth he would regret whatever came out. “Stop pretending you do this for everyone else! Stop pretending to be a Hero. You aren't! You can't protect anyone!” Harry looked slapped and even Hermione covered her mouth with her hand to silence the gasp that escaped her lips.  
  
“You aren't any better or stronger than us just because you happened to destroy the Dark Lord!”  
  
“I never - ” Harry began, but Ron cut him off angrily. He jumped to his feet as well, but instead of pacing he stood near the door ready to escape. This wasn't going according to plan. They weren't supposed to fight.  
  
“Savior Potter, here to save the day once again. No one asked you to do that!” He heard himself say and winced. He sounded like Malfoy. “Let professionals do their job, and maybe this time no one gets hurt!” Ron needed to leave; his rage wasn’t letting him control his tongue. He knew his anger was being driven by his fear of meeting the one man that terrified him more than Voldemort at the moment, but he was powerless to control it.  
  
Harry looked stunned, his mouth open and closing like a fish out of water, trying to find something to say. “You don't have to come with us you know,” He said quietly, finally, but Ron could hear the hurt and anger in his voice. “I never forced anyone to tag along, it was you all who wanted to join.”  
  
Ron left. As he passed out the door he heard Hermione defending him.  
  
“He didn't mean that,” He didn't. But he also didn't deserve her. “Give him some time, you know he says things when he is angry.” He didn't stay near the door long enough to hear Harry's reply.  
  
Ron felt awful; not only did he say those things but he had also driven his friends away. He wanted to go home to the way it was before. He wanted to be near Hermione and hug her, wanted to see Harry laugh. Why did he have to destroy all that? He knew why, but that didn’t make it any more bearable.  
  
Embarrassed, he stayed in his room for the rest of the day, once again not bothering to reply to the knocks on his door. He ignored his belly growling and instead buried his face into his pillow, screaming all his pain away until he could do nothing else but sob.  
  
“You are no coward,” he told his reflection in the mirror the next morning.  
“You have overcome your fear, you have faced spiders and you might have cried along the way but you stood in the face of danger and fear and laughed in its face. Okay you might have yelled and cried in its face but you still did it. Not many people can say that they faced their fears.” He rubbed at his bloodshot eyes a little before sighing. “You faced Death Eaters, who wanted to kill you, and one might have done something to hurt you, but you survived, and are no coward. You can do it. You can go out there and find another Horcrux. The sooner the better.”  
  
He blinked at his reflection. “I’ve gone mad now, standing here talking to myself.” He shook his head before he left the safety of his room to head downstairs.  
  
Harry and Hermione sat next to each other and he didn't miss the way Harry stiffened and turned away as soon as he saw him. He deserved that. Harry's grandparents weren't there, but the rest were, and as soon as Ron entered, the table turned silent, making it fairly obvious to Ron who the topic of their discussion had been.  
  
“Please don't let me stop you, continue talking.” He said almost bitterly. He took the only chair available, next to Harry's mother, who gave him a smile and a cheery good morning, which he only acknowledged with a slight nod.  
  
No one else seemed to find anything to say. The silence was unbearable for Ron and it only made his anger grow as he glared at Harry, who didn't look good, appearing as if he hadn't slept at all. His anger turned into guilt.  
  
He knew his words were the reason for Harry's current state. Harry also wasn’t eating, stabbing his fork into his food as if the plate contained Voldemort, but not once did he lift the food to his mouth, content in killing his already dead bacon.   
  
The silence was deafening, James kept glaring at Sirius as if he was the cause; Lily and Remus didn't exactly look happy with him either. Hermione looked sad, but tried to not show it as she quickly finished her breakfast.  
  
“So,” James began, looking at Harry who didn’t lift his eyes off of his plate. “Are you gonna destroy it today?”  
Ron peeked up at that.  
Had Harry not destroyed it yet?  
Harry only shrugged in reply continuing to stab his food that now was practically mush.  
  
“You haven’t destroyed it yet?” Ron asked.  
Harry shot him a look.  
“Why?!”  
  
“They were waiting for you.” James looked between Harry and Ron.  
  
Ron stood quickly, running out of the room.  
  
He couldn’t believe it. That damn thing was still here. A part of Voldemort was in the house with them, right now. What was Harry thinking?  
  
His mind played dozens of scenarios, scenarios he knew would never happen but made his neck hair stand up in icy fear. Goosebumps covered his body as he imagined Malfoy coming here to take it back. Dobby returning to his master and bringing Malfoy to his room.  
Was he really safe here? Could Voldemort sense his Horcrux here after Malfoy probably told him what had happened?  
He suddenly had images of Voldemort killing all but him and returning Ron to the mansion where Malfoy waits for him with a sickening grin and metal handcuffs.  
  
He heard footsteps running after him and turned around. Staring into green eyes.   
  
“Are you out of your mind?!” Ron yelled at him. He heard someone walking after them but paid them no mind. “Destroy it already!”  
  
“You got it, it’s only fair for you to be the one to destroy it.” Harry explained calmly with a frown on his face, as if the one who was mad here was Ron. Was Harry that dense?! He had a part of Voldemort’s soul inside his grandparents’ house, a house full of his family!  
  
“I don’t want to see that damn thing!” Ron seethed, he pushed Harry’s chest, making him stumble back. Harry looked at him in shock. “I don’t want to have anything to do with those damn things anymore! It might be fun for you to play Hero but it isn’t for me!”  
  
Harry glared back. “What’s gotten into you?”  
  
“You don’t even care if Hermione or I get hurt, as long as Sirius and your parents are safe. You don’t care about anyone but yourself!” A fist connected with his jaw, and Ron fell down to the ground starring at teary green eyes.  
  
“How can you say or even believe that?! After all we’ve been through!” Harry’s whole body vibrated with anger, even his voice was shaking. “You two are my family! You might not see me as yours, but I always considered you my brother!” With that Harry went away.  
  
Ron stood slowly, wanting to walk after him, try to fix what he had said. Of course Harry was his family.  
He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.  
“I think you’ve done enough, Weasley.”  
He had never seen the Black heir so furious.  
  
“Don’t touch me!” Ron yelled, and Sirius quickly dropped his hands looking worriedly at Ron, forgetting his previous anger.  
“Do you want to talk?” He asked instead, his hands in the air in front of his face to show he meant no harm.  
  
Ron stepped back.  
  
If Sirius knew he was raped by a Death Eater, what would he say?  
No one hated Death Eaters more than Sirius.  
No. No one should ever know.  
He was disgusting and weak as it was. He couldn’t bear for his friends to know; to see it in their eyes when they looked at him.  
He was used like a sextoy, and the worst part was his body had enjoyed it. What did that even mean? He wasn’t gay. He loved Hermione. But his own body had enjoyed being used by a Death Eater.  
  
Harry was furious, he took the sword from his backpack and stabbed the diary with more force than necessary. A high pitched scream filled his room and black smoke escaped the book, but somehow the silence that followed seemed louder. Ron’s words were all that he heard.  
He couldn’t save anyone? He didn’t care if Hermione or he got hurt?  
  
He would prove him wrong.  
  
He would save everyone without getting anyone hurt. The one Horcrux they had no idea how to destroy was the ring. Hermione had researched it; she had tried but until now she had no idea what kind of curse was on it, which had caused the blackening of Dumbledore’s hand back in their old timeline. Ron had suggested just using a Death Eater to destroy it.  
  
Harry thought about his other option. Ron and Hermione would never forgive him, but they didn’t have to know.  
  
He sat on his bed for a while before making up his mind.  
  
Ron was right, he was risking his friends’ lives by taking them with him, but he wouldn’t let any Aurors do the job either.  
  
He couldn’t stomach risking anyone’s life.  
  
He waited in his room until it was one o’clock in the morning before taking his leather jacket out of his bag and putting it on. He took a piece of parchment and scribbled on it, ‘Be right back, don’t worry! Just going for a walk to clear my head.” Once done, he placed it on his pillow.  
  
There was no time to lose.  
  
The longer he waited the more suspicious Hermione would get. She was always able to sense when he was about to do something. But he knew he had to do this, he couldn’t just sacrifice someone’s life, Death Eater or not; it wasn’t Harry’s job to decide who gets to live - but his own life was a different matter.  
  
He crept out of his room, not noticing the person in the living room, sitting on the couch with their face buried into their hands. He also didn’t notice the same person stand up quickly and follow him with a frown as he opened the door as quietly as he could.  
  
Only as he apparated did he feel a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“What?” Harry turned around staring into grey eyes. “Sirius! What are you doing here?!”  
  
“Shouldn't I ask you that?” The young man countered, looking around to see them standing next to a grave.  
  
“Go back home.” Harry seethed as he started walking towards the town. He knew the Gaunts house was somewhere in the wood near the town.  
  
“You don't really know me if you think I will go back,” Sirius walked next to him, giving Harry a small smile.  
Harry huffed, knowing very well, in fact, that Sirius wouldn’t do that, and they fell into a heavy silence.  
  
“While you're here,” Sirius cleared his throat “I wanted to….” Harry looked at Sirius who had become rather red and seemed to be searching for the right words. “I mean, you know,” Sirius waved his hands between them. “I didn't really mean what I said - I mean I did, you should come to me if you are in trouble….. but, if it's a life and death situation and you know I can't help then don't obviously.”  
  
“It's alright, Sirius,” Harry said laughing slightly. “I get it.” Sirius nodded and Harry couldn't help but smile at how relieved Sirius seemed. He had never seen Sirius so awkward - it was strangely a nice change.  
  
“That doesn't mean you should be here.” He added, though.  
  
“Neither should you.” Sirius murmured.  
  
They walked around the woods for a bit until Sirius dragged Harry behind a tree and pinned him down. “Why are you here, Harry?”  
  
“The Gaunts house, there is a Horcrux there.” Harry stared a bit at Sirius’s lips. They were moving rapidly but Harry wasn’t paying attention to the words they were shaping.  
  
“Harry!” Sirius shook him a little.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Are you even listening?” Sirius frowned.  
  
“Not really, no.” Harry said, pushing Sirius out of the way to continue walking. He heard Sirius grumble next to him about stupid boyfriends and fools and other words that would make Aunt Petunia screech in horror.  
  
“Listen Harry, I know where the Gaunts lived,” Harry turned around, his eyebrow raising. “Every pureblood knows it, really,” Sirius shrugged. “Let’s go home, that house is dangerous. Word has it that only those who have Salazar Slytherin’s blood can even go inside.” Sirius took Harry by the arm, but before he had the chance to apparate them away Harry pulled away.  
  
“Dumbledore went inside,” Harry said matter-of-factly. “And so will I.”  
  
“How many more scars do you want until you see that sometimes you can't do everything?”  
  
“I don't care how many scars it will take!” Harry turned around and started walking. “I don't care what it takes to keep you all safe.” He whispered.  
  
“Who keeps you safe?” Sirius asked, another fling of curses escaping his mouth before he ran after Harry. “You don't even know where you are going.”  
  
Harry shrugged. “It can't be that hard to find.”  
  
“Well it’s on the other side,” Sirius said, pointing in their opposite direction. “It’s easier if we go across the town.” Harry stopped walking to look where Sirius was pointing, rolling his eyes at the satisfied smirk Sirius was wearing, following his lead.  
  
Both walked in silence across the town, which seemed more dead than alive in the dark of the night. At one point Sirius had entwined their hands together swinging them back and forth as if they were walking on a date under the moonlight, rather than walking to destroy a piece of soul of one of history’s greatest Dark Lords.  
  
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Sirius asked suddenly, as they passed a church.  
  
“Auror, I think. You?”  
  
“Haven’t really given it much thought; I have enough money not to work. Are you really happy to keep on fighting the dark? Don't you want to do something else?”  
“I am good at it,” Harry shrugged. “I do it to keep others safe, their safety is my happiness.”  
  
“Hmm,” Sirius looked at him, grey eyes bore in to him like one of Uncle Vernon’s drills. “You don't seem really happy.”  
  
“Well, obviously we haven't won yet.” Harry rolled his eyes.  
  
“I always wanted to travel the world. Be far away from my family and just enjoy life while also learning knew things, you know?” Sirius murmured.  
Harry nodded, that sounded exciting, to see other parts of the wizarding world. “That sounds like fun.”  
Sirius grinned at him, as if Harry’s approval meant the world to him.  
  
“When you died, I wanted to research The Veil, find a way to bring you back.” Harry looked away.  
“That's adorable,” Sirius smiled. “But also impossible.”  
“You have no idea how many times Hermione said that,” Harry laughed. “‘Harry, even if you managed to return Sirius to the living it won't be Sirius, magic can't do that. What's dead stays dead’,” his voice high-pitched in imitation of her.  
  
He sobered, body drooping a little. “I’ve lost so much, never had much to begin with,” he continued with his normal voice. “Was it really that bad to want to have one thing? You were the only father figure I had ever known.”  
  
Sirius winced. “If you want to I can be your godfather, I’ll be to you whatever you want me to be.”  
  
“You were the best godfather,” Harry grinned. “But I like you as my boyfriend better.”  
  
Sirius smiled brightly at that, just like the star he was named after. It dimmed after a moment. “You know, Love, about Ron…”  
  
“I don’t wanna talk about him.” Harry said, looking straight ahead.  
  
“I think he is scared.”  
  
“Funny way of showing that.” Harry countered.  
  
“Listen, babe,” Sirius stopped walking, pulling on Harry’s arm.  
Reluctantly Harry stopped as well, but he didn’t turn around. “Something happened at Malfoys. After you punched and left him - great right hook by the way, very proud of you,” Harry turned his face to look at Sirius so quickly he heard his neck protest. “Anyway after you left I only touched his shoulder, but I have never seen anyone look that panicked and scared.”  
  
Harry bit his lip before frowning. “I totally messed up didn’t I? Shit I punched him, Sirius.”  
  
“Hmm, I would have done worse.”  
Harry rolled his eyes. “What? I would have,” Sirius shrugged. “I was this close - ” Sirius pinched his thumb and finger together. “To punching him myself.”  
  
“You are supposed to leave a gap.” Harry informed him.  
  
“Oh no, I wanted to punch him,” Sirius said. “I would have. If he hadn’t had that look on his face as if I was his boggart.”  
  
“Sirius. Don’t punch my friends,” Harry sighed. “You weren’t that aggressive in my time.”  
  
“I spent 12 years in prison, I am sure I was way more aggressive.” Harry only shook his head and both continued walking.  
  
The sun was on the rise when they finally stood in front of a cabin in the woods.  
Harry looked at Sirius who kept on looking around as if he was waiting for Death Eaters to pop out.  
  
“Kill, must kill.” Someone hissed, and Harry stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
“Whats wrong?” Sirius asked him  
  
“You didn’t hear that?” Sirius shook his head.  
  
“Kill the intruders.”  
  
“Snakes,” Harry said. “We come in peace.” He tried in a hiss, and shrugged at Sirius who was looking at him with a million questions in his eyes.  
  
Dozens of snakes slithered to them, poisonous ones, with long fangs. “A speaker!” one said. Sirius tightening his grip on Harry’s hand was the only indication that he was worried; his face betrayed no such emotion, appearing calm as he looked at the snakes, as if he heard them talking as well.  
  
“Yes.” Harry answered, Sirius watched him closely, making Harry feel slightly timid about his appearance.  
  
“Kiss for good luck?” Sirius asked, eyeing the deadly snakes and Harry.  
  
Before Harry had the chance to respond, Sirius captured his lips with his own, causing him to gasp, and despite the situation they were in, slip his tongue into Sirius’s mouth.  
Harry heard the snakes hiss something but he couldn’t make himself care. It was as if Sirius sucked out his ability to think straight. The only battle that mattered was the battle of dominance happening between their tongues in his mouth right now, which Sirius always won.  
  
Out of breath they pulled apart, a string of saliva between them. “Good luck.” Harry echoed Sirius’s words.  
  
“Do you think the kiss worked or do I need to give you another good luck kiss?”  
  
“Sirius, Love, Babe,” Harry sighed and waved at the snakes. “Maybe now is not the moment to make out.” Sirius chuckled slightly, pecked Harry on his mouth and whispered why it always had to be snakes, but thankful that this time it wasn’t a basilisk.  
  
“I’m gonna go inside now.” So don’t kill me, please, Harry thought.  
  
The snakes didn’t answer but as soon as he stepped forward they made room for him to walk. One snake did slither next to Sirius though, who had his wand out and a curse ready to leave his lips.  
  
Inside the cabin, he and Sirius split up to search for the ring.  
  
“Are you sure it’s in here?” Sirius asked some time later, only getting a hum in return. “Harry we’ve been here for hours. I don’t mind spending time with you, but maybe you were wrong and it isn’t here.” Sirius looked at the hissing snake next to him; the hideous looking thing just wouldn’t leave him alone.  
  
“I know it’s in here!” Harry said, frustrated, he was surrounded by snakes who seemed to hiss something at him nonstop.  
  
“What are they saying?” Sirius asked.  
  
“They are being annoying,” Harry sighed. “One even tried to climb me.” The Black heir chuckled at that, his eyes drooping a little. He was tired. They had been walking all night and searching for the ring all morning.  
  
“We’ve searched everywhere, Love. Except inside the walls. Wanna destroy the house?” Sirius smirked.  
  
Harry gasped, and made Sirius jump when without further warning he started destroying the wooden floor. Getting over his shock swiftly, Sirius helped him along, no questions asked, the Black heir laughing at the snakes slithering away as fast as possible.  
  
“Is that it?” Sirius asked, spotting a ring, bending down to try and reach it.  
  
“Don’t touch it!” Harry yelled, remembering Dumbledore’s hand.  
  
He had come to terms with being the one who had to carry the curse. He couldn’t let anyone else carry it. Not Sirius, not his parents, not Hermione and Ron, and not Remus. Sacrifices had to be made, and he was okay with that. Knowing that his family was safe was all that mattered to him now. He would take the curse and spend as much time with his family as possible.  
  
Sirius stepped back a little, and Harry quickly grabbed the ring, his hand tickled and black smoke escaped and surrounded them, and in it the form of Ron was manifested.  
  
“You can’t save anyone. You are a pretend Hero. Everyone dies because of you!”  
  
“Sirius, I forgot the sword,” Harry yelled in panic. “You need to get back and...”  
  
“I never loved you, you just reminded me of James. The replica of your dead father, that’s all you ever were to me.” An old Sirius said, suddenly forming in the cloud.  
  
“You need to… get it… Sirius please.” Harry said through threatening tears.  
  
“I have the fang of the basilisk.” Sirius offered and stepped forward. The cloud changed into a Harry and an old Sirius kissing each other, before laughing mockingly at the younger Sirius.  
  
“You are so pathetic. Look how much you love me. I could never love you! You could never replace my Sirius.” Fake Harry said, as he kissed fake Sirius.  
“You can never be me,” fake Sirius sneered. “You are too aggressive, too young.” They both laughed, while fake Harry nodded in agreement.  
‘As if a weak, immature thing like you could compare to an older man. I do so love older men.’ Fake Harry purred, sliding his hand down fake Sirius’s cheek, who turned his head to kiss its palm, allowing fake Harry to slide his tongue up his other cheek.  
  
Sirius stared in horror at the cloud and back at the real Harry. “Don’t listen to them.” Real Harry begged. Sirius took of the necklace giving it to Harry without saying a word.  
  
Harry stabbed the ring and the smoke screamed at them both before vanishing into thin air.  
  
“That was… fun.” Sirius said weakly, taking his necklace back and stepping outside.  
  
Harry put the ring in his pocket, before looking at his right hand. The fingertips had turned dark, and he wondered how long he had before anyone noticed.  
  
“Sirius, you don’t actually believe that right? My relationship with the other Sirius wasn’t like that. He was my godfather, that’s it.”  
  
“But I can’t replace him. You still miss him don’t you?” Sirius whispered.  
  
“I- let’s go home Sirius.” Harry said instead. He couldn’t deny that he missed his godfather, but that was still Sirius, so why was his boyfriend mad?  
  
Apparating back, Sirius understood that Harry hadn’t wanted to say where they went to, and just told a glaring Lily and a disappointed looking James that they went out for a walk.  
  
No one looked as if they believed it, Remus, Ron and Hermione especially. Lily and James looked as if they hoped that Harry had just went out for a walk with his boyfriend, rather than going after another piece of Voldemort’s soul.  
  
Sirius left him and went to Ron, asking if they could talk for a moment. Reluctantly Ron agreed, not looking happy at all. Hermione and Remus looked Harry over, and worrying about them seeing his hand, he declared. “I’ll just go to bed then.” Making a turn to walk away. His mother though had other plans.  
  
“Oh no you don’t, no one told you to pull an all-nighter, Harry James Potter. We are gonna spend some time together now. How about a quick game of Quidditch?” she asked.  
  
“I thought you didn’t like flying, mom?”  
  
“Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I can’t do it.” She laughed happily, dragging Harry with her to the field while James ran after then. Remus and Hermione stayed behind claiming to have homework to do, but Harry knew that look on Hermione’s face. She didn’t believe him and she wouldn’t rest until she knew what was going on.  


**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfiction, i apologize for grammar mistakes. Open to any critic and suggestions. Thank you.


End file.
